Chapter 76: The floor is… Lava!?

"What? A dead meme?" Kashime said, his hands on his revolver.

"You can't be serious," Kaz pinched the bridge of his nose.

Jin just stood silent, while the rescued girls blushed as soon as they heard their boss's voice.

As Mordecai spoke, Luna immediately dropped her gaze to the floor, her dark elf vision enhancing the subtle details of the stonework.

Now that the CEO had mentioned it, she noticed thin, pulsing blue magical lines etched into the obsidian, perfectly dividing the corridor into a complex grid of bone-dry, dusty squares and highly polished, wet zones.

"Larry has already finalized the sanitation protocols for several quadrants along your path," Mordecai explained, his tone shifting into the strict, unyielding register of an auditor. "Those areas are still structurally damp. If any member of your party steps on the wet floor... Larry will interpret that action as a severe lack of professional respect toward his labor hours."

In that moment, Jin began to vibrate like a faulty engine. "And... and what happens if he interprets it as a lack of respect? Does he activate a wipe mechanic?!"

"I suggest you utilize your agility stats and avoid finding out," Mordecai chuckled darkly. "Walk only on the un-sanitized surfaces. Follow the dirt. Larry hasn't reached those sectors yet. Have a highly productive afternoon. Ah, and don't you dare fly or jump on the walls, I've placed rusty spoons everywhere. So, if you don't want Tetanus, just follow the rules."

Then, the purple orb flickered and snapped out of existence, leaving the party staring at a literal grid of domestic hazards.

"Great. We're now stuck on dead memes. Just GREAT." Kashime sighed, stomping his feet on the floor.

"Let's just analyze the situation," Luna said, before pointing her finger towards the clean place.

The corridor ahead was a massive, mind-bending puzzle.

Some zones were completely immaculate—gleaming, wet, slick, and carrying the hidden threat of a skeletal janitor’s wrath, while other patches were still covered in a comforting, dusty layer of cobwebs, gravel, and dungeon debris. Those were the safe zones.

Larry continued his scrubbing five meters away, completely absorbed in his duties, entirely ignoring them as long as the blue grid remained unviolated and occasionally giving some thumbs-up👍 to the edgelords to cheer them up.

"Okay," Kaz said, adjusting the collar of his tracksuit. "The mechanics are simple. We just need to jump from one dusty patch to another like a bunch of low-level frogs. We have the agility stats for this. I think we can easily clear the distance."

"And if our foot slips?" Kashime asked, ridding himself of Jin's grip and checking the weight of his revolver.

"We don't slip. Easy." Kaz said flatly.

"We absolutely do not slip," Jin echoed, his single eye wide as he stared at Larry's yellow gloves with the intensity of a man looking at a loaded executioner's crossbow.

"Slipping on the floor would surely mean a bad thing... Te-hee!" Seraphina said, "If I slip, someone might see everything..." She added, looking up at the ceiling, specifically at a corner.

Valeria and Nya immediately understood what she meant.

"YES. WE MUST NOT SLIP, NOT AT ALL!" Valeria said.

"Nya..." The catgirl said, licking her wrists.

Then, Kaz took the first leap. He launched himself from the clean threshold, his sneakers crossing two meters of polished wet stone before landing with a soft thud directly in the center of a dusty, cobweb-covered square near a stone pillar. The ground beneath him remained steady, and no system warnings appeared.

"Safe!" Kaz called out, gesturing for the others to follow.

Luna was next. She didn't even look like she was exerting herself; she glided through the air with the grace of a feline beast, her robes billowing softly before she landed silently on the exact same patch of dirt, not moving a single pebble.

Valeria stepped up to the edge of the clean floor. She hoisted her massive greatsword, her knees shaking slightly as she looked at the wide gap between the dusty squares. (Yes, she had recovered her greatsword out of nowhere along the way in the last chapter.)

"N-Not that I'm intimidated or anything!" Valeria stammered, her face turning a bright, defensive shade of pink as her hand twitched. "It’s just... the friction coefficient of that wax is clearly overtuned! It’s a safety hazard! I'm only hesitating because of structural physics, baka!"

"Nya! Don't worry, you baka swordswoman!" Nya chimed, instantly leaping across the gap with effortless beast-kin agility, landing right next to Luna. She still had Larry's stainless-steel spoon clamped firmly between her teeth.

Then, she turned around and extended her hands. "Come on! It's easy, Nya! I'll catch you if your balance gives out!"

"I do not require assistance being caught. Thanks!" Valeria yelled, her face turning even redder.

Then, she squeezed her eyes shut, took a massive leap, and landed heavily in the dirt patch. She stumbled forward, and her new, fresh AI-Generated armor clanked loudly, but Nya quickly caught her by the waist, stabilizing her heavy greatsword.

Valeria immediately pushed her away, huffing and looking anywhere but at the cat-girl. "T-Thanks. Whatever."

Seraphina made a light, elegant bounce, her frilly maid outfit fluttering as she landed perfectly on her tiptoes within a tiny, isolated square of dust. "Te-hee! Professional maid attire is specifically tailored for maximum flexibility and workplace agility! This is just standard housekeeping navigation!"

Then it was Kashime's turn.

"Let's end this, I'm tired," he sighed.

The edgelord calculated the distance, flexed his high-level agility stats, and vaulted across the wet stone. But as his heavy leather boot came down, the heel hit a patch of loose gravel on the edge of the safe zone. His foot slid backward, the leather barely grazing the wet, blue-lined boundary of Larry’s freshly mopped floor.

Squeak.

The tiny sound of rubber friction echoed in the corridor as Larry stopped scrubbing.

In that specific moment, the entire universe seemed to grind to a halt.

Kaz stopped breathing. Luna froze. Valeria and Nya remained locked in their awkward embrace, and every single eye in the party slowly drifted toward the skeleton janitor.

Larry slowly, mechanically rotated his skull ninety degrees, and the starry white flames within his deep eye sockets suddenly shifted, turning a bright, warning shade of sharp yellow.

Not crimson. Not the apocalyptic red of the Custodial Rage. Just... an attentive, corporate amber yellow.

He stared at Kashime's boot for three agonizing seconds, verifying the boundary line.

Then, with a soft sigh of phantom lungs, Larry turned his skull back around and resumed scrubbing his stone.

"Holy Goddess," Kashime whispered, a cold sweat running down his spine as he quickly pulled his heel fully into the center of the dust. "For a split second, I genuinely thought my character file was going to be deleted."

"GOOD. NOW STOP TALKING AND KEEP JUMPING," Jin hissed from the starting line, his voice breaking into a terrified wheeze.

It was finally Jin’s turn. The Solo Cheater was the last one left at the threshold.

He calculated the trajectory and then checked his stats.

He had more than enough agility to clear the gap, but as he bent his knees to launch himself into the air, he was too focused on watching Larry's yellow gloves that he didn't see that the dusty patch ahead of him was slightly smaller than he anticipated.

He then jumped, flying through the air, his black trench coat flapping behind him, and then landed. His left foot was safely in the dirt.

But... his right heel came down squarely, firmly, and unmistakably inside the wet, freshly polished zone.

An entire millimeter. Just a single, tiny millimeter over the blue line.

In that moment, Larry stopped scrubbing.

The yellow flames in his eye sockets didn't just flash. They instantly exploded into a violent, blinding, and utterly apocalyptic shade of blood-red crimson.

The ambient Bossa Nova music in the ceiling vents warped, transforming into a terrifying, industrial static hum.

Everyone felt the temperature falling by 50 degrees.

"Holy sh*t. It's over." Kaz said.

"Scrik-scrik-scrik!" Larry’s jaw clattered with the fury of a thousand union violations.

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!" Jin shrieked, instantly dropping to his knees and throwing his hands over his head, weeping openly. "I SWEAR TO THE LIGHT, IT WAS AN ENVIRONMENTAL CLIPPING ERROR! THE HITBOX IS DETECTED WRONGLY! DON'T CLEAN ME! PLEASE DON'T CLEAN ME!"

Larry slowly stood up, turned his entire body toward Jin, and began walking forward. It was a slow, deliberate, and entirely methodical spirit, exactly looking like a bone-white Terminator programmed for maximum domestic hygiene.

"Run," Kaz whispered from the next pillar, his face pale.

"I CAN'T RUN!" Jin wailed, paralyzed by terror as he stared at the approaching skeleton. "THE SURFACES OF THIS PLACE ARE OVER-WAXED! IF I GENERATE KINETIC MOMENTUM, I WILL SLIP AND BREAK MY CHARACTER RIG! I'M CAPTURED!"

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?!!?" Kashime shouted.

Meanwhile, the cat-girl purred and sat down for a moment, scratching her ear with her feet, and still holding the spoon between her teeth.

Larry arrived in front of the weeping solo player. The crimson fire in his eyes burned like twin stars of pure judgment.

Jin swallowed some saliva, and everyone stared at the scene with pure horror.

Then, the Skeleton Janitor reached into his deep coverall pocket, his yellow rubber glove creaking loudly, and pulled out a fresh, snow-white microfiber cloth.

Jin squeezed his eyes shut, his entire body trembling as he braced for impact. "Just... just make it quick," he whimpered.

Larry slowly bent down and reached out, grabbing Jin by his right ankle. He lifted his leather boot and used the white cloth to meticulously, gently wipe away a small smudge of dungeon mud that Jin’s sole had tracked onto the wet floor. He rubbed the stone until the surface was once again a perfect, spotless dark mirror.

Then, Larry stood back up to his full height. The apocalyptic crimson fire in his eye sockets faded instantly, shifting back into the calm, supportive, and cheerful starry white flames.

He looked at Jin, raised his yellow rubber glove, and delivered a clean, encouraging thumbs-up.

👍

Then, without another word, the little skeleton turned around, walked back to his bucket, knelt down beside Carry, and resumed his scrubbing routine.

Scrik. Scrik. Scrik.

The corridor returned to its peaceful, Bossa Nova-infused state.

Kaz stared at the skeleton, then looked at Jin, who was still kneeling on the floor with his eyes squeezed shut. "...He literally just cleaned your boot sole, bro. Guess that this was his way of saying 'Don't do that again'."

Jin slowly opened his eye and raised his right leg, looking at the bottom of his leather boot.

It was so clean he could see his own terrified expression reflected in the leather. "He... he didn't trigger an execution mechanic? I'm... I'm alive?"

"He told you not to track mud where he already mopped," Luna said, a look of profound respect on her face as she analyzed the janitor's absolute devotion to his craft. "He didn't say he was going to slaughter you for an accidental boundary violation. It was a localized maintenance intervention."

"The Dark Lord of this place is a sadistic, corporate psychopath," Kaz sighed, shaking his head as he turned back toward the end of the tunnel. "But he’s a professional. He doesn't waste labor resources on unnecessary executions. Come on, the door is right there."

The remaining members of the party scrambled across the final few patches of dust, completely avoiding the blue lines, until they finally stood before a massive, foreboding stone double door at the absolute end of the exit route.

"Finally," Kaz groaned, reaching out and resting his hands against the cold stone. "The actual exit. I swear, the first thing I'm doing when I get back to the capital is taking a three-hour nap in an establishment that doesn't play elevator music."

Luna stepped forward, her dark elf nose sniffing the air near the gap in the stone doors. Her brow furrowed, her long ears drooping slightly in immediate concern. "Wait. Hold on, Kaz. Do not apply pressure to the portal mechanism yet."

"What's wrong now?" Kaz asked, his hand freezing on the stone.

"The atmospheric currents are incorrect," Luna whispered, her eyes wide behind her glasses. "I do not capture the scent of the northern plains or fresh air. I capture... superheated metal. And sulfur. And a massive, concentrated baseline of draconic ozone."

"Don't overthink the data, Luna," Kaz said desperately, his coping mechanisms firing on all cylinders. "It's a dark lord's dungeon, so everything smells like sulfur. Let's just open the damn thing."

Kashime and Valeria stepped forward, planting their shoulders against the heavy stone gates, and, with a coordinated grunt, they pushed.

The massive doors swung outward with a deep, grinding roar that shook the foundations of the corridor, and the party stepped through the threshold, expecting to see the grey, freezing skies of the Northern Sector.

Instead, they found themselves standing on a high, precarious stone balcony overlooking an immense, cavernous chamber filled with rivers of molten gold and jagged obsidian pillars.

In the absolute center of the cavern sat a colossal, terrifying throne constructed entirely from shredded, fused account ledgers and solid emerald scales. And resting in the shadows behind the throne, its massive, leathery emerald wings folded tightly around a circular nest of gold ingots, was a towering, draconic silhouette.

Kaz stared at the dragon. The dragon's vertical reptilian pupils slowly snapped open, glowing with a predatory green fire as it locked its gaze onto the intruders.

"This..." Kaz whispered, his face completely blank. "This is absolutely not an exit."

THUD.

The massive stone double doors behind them instantly slammed shut on their own, the purple wards locking into place with a definitive, thundering click.

A sharp pulse of dark mana rippled through the cavern ceiling, and Mordecai’s voice echoed throughout the boss room, completely unbothered.

"Ah. Right. I forgot to mention," the CEO chuckled warmly, the sound of a luxury coffee machine brewing a fresh cup audible in the background. The 'EXIT' was simply an internal corporate development code-name for the final executive suite. Welcome to the Aviation office, team. You are currently scheduled for an immediate, high-priority asset audit. Good luck."

The communication line cut out with a crisp, administrative click.

"I literally hate every single entity in this universe," Kaz deadpanned, slouching so low his chin touched his chest.

Luna let out a long, heavy sigh, her hand instinctively drifting down to her spatial pouch. "I deeply regret not plundering more high-tier artifacts from my family's vault before executing this raid. Our current defensive configuration is thoroughly insufficient for a dragon encounter."

'I know that he won't hurt us,' Luna thought.

"N-Not that I'm terrified or anything!" Valeria shouted, her voice shaking violently as she desperately gripped the hilt of her greatsword, her hands practically vibrating with anxiety. "It’s just... the boss model is clearly oversized! It’s a completely unbalanced encounter! Baka!"

"Nya..." the cat-girl whimpered, her tail fully puffed as she hid behind Valeria's shoulder plates, still holding Larry's shiny spoon in her mouth. "I just wanted to find a nice tavern and eat some fish, Nya... why are we in the volcanic sector..."

Seraphina offered a polite, entirely plastic maid smile, though her hands were trembling against her apron. "Te-hee! Well... at the very least, we cannot complain about the cleanliness of the boss's arena. The floor here is exceptionally well-dusted." She added, while pulling out a magic staff from nowhere.

In the far corner of the stone balcony, Jin the Solo Cheater had already collapsed entirely into a perfect fetal position, his trench coat wrapped around his knees as he rocked back and forth, staring blankly at the molten gold below. "I just wanted to use a clean porcelain toilet..." he whispered brokenly to his own shadow. "I just wanted the three-ply paper... let me go back to the restroom..."

Kashime stood at the edge of the balcony, his jaw set as he drew his custom revolver, the cylinder spinning with a sharp, mechanical whirl. He aimed the barrel directly at the massive, awakening emerald dragon below. "Fine," Kashime grumbled, his edgy persona returning with a dark, cynical edge. "Let's just get this performance review over with."

Down in the cavern, the massive emerald wings uncoiled, and the dragon stood to her full, terrifying height, a low, subterranean rumble shaking the stone beneath their feet.

But... something worse was coming.

And that 'something' was screaming "DRAGOOOOOOOOOONS!"

[HIGHER REALMS LIVE CHAT]

Larry_Simp_01: "THE EYES TURNED YELLOW. THEN RED. I SCREAMED. MY NEIGHBORS HATE ME. WORTH IT."

NTR_Lover69: "Jin really said 'THE HITBOX IS DETECTED WRONGLY' to a SKELETON JANITOR. This man is using programming terms to apologize. I'm crying."

GoonerKing: "The music turned into industrial static. The temperature dropped 50 degrees. Larry is NOT a joke. He's a force of nature."

XxShadowSlayerxX: "For a split second, I genuinely thought Jin was going to be scrubbed out of existence. Larry cleaning his boot instead was the biggest plot twist of the year."

LoreMaster_77: "Notice how Larry's eyes didn't go straight to red. They went YELLOW first. A warning. A corporate courtesy. The janitor gave him a chance to correct his mistake. That's professionalism."

SystemAdmin: "Jin's 'environmental clipping error' excuse has been logged. Status: Pathetic. But effective. He's still alive."

DragonSlayerFan_01: "DRAGON SLAYER IS STILL SCREAMING IN THE BACKGROUND. HE'S BEEN RUNNING FOR CHAPTERS. RESPECT THE GRIND."

MicroShock: "The rusty spoons on the walls. THE RUSTY SPOONS. Mordecai really said 'no flying, no jumping, walk like a normal person or get tetanus.' This is diabolical."

Dibbs57 (Official Account): "I paid 4,000 soul coins for the truth sphere. I did NOT expect to also get a free episode of 'Janitor vs Edgelord: The Floor Is Lava Edition.' Best investment ever."

Luna_Fan_01: "Luna analyzing Larry's 'localized maintenance intervention' with PROFOUND RESPECT on her face. She's not scared. She's STUDYING him. This woman is going to write a thesis on corporate cleaning protocols."

Power_Scaler24: "Goku still solos. But Larry would clean his boots afterward. Respect."

Runaway_Cactuar: "Kazuma, for all of his faults, looks like the only isekai here with some signs of intelligence (and not just a trope)."

NTR_Lover69: "Valeria's 'friction coefficient of the wax is overtuned' excuse. She's a tsundere even when facing a dragon. Unbelievable. I love her."

GoonerKing: "Seraphina looking at the CEILING CORNER knowing there's a camera. She's aware of the fourth wall. She's PLAYING to the audience. This maid is dangerous."

Larry_Simp_01: "Carry wiping Jin's tears and patting his shoulder. She's not just a maid. She's emotional support. LARRY AND CARRY ARE THE BEST DUO."

XxShadowSlayerxX: "Jin curled in a fetal position saying 'I just wanted the three-ply paper' is the most relatable thing I've ever read in a fantasy novel."

SystemAdmin: "Kashime's revolver spin. The dragon waking up. The doors slamming shut. Mordecai's coffee machine in the background. This is cinema."

DragonSlayerFan_01: "DRAGON SLAYER IS COMING. NEXT CHAPTER. DRAGON SLAYER VS ACTUAL DRAGON. I HAVE WAITED CHAPTERS FOR THIS MOMENT."

MonkeyKingCultist: "Wukong wasn't in this chapter. But her presence was felt in Larry's confidence. He learned from the best."

NTR_Lover69: "Nick is still covered in vomit somewhere else. Meanwhile, this party is about to fight a dragon while Jin cries about toilet paper. The contrast is beautiful."

LoreMaster_77: "Mordecai's final line: 'The EXIT was simply an internal corporate development code-name for the final executive suite.' He trolled them. With corporate jargon. This man is the devil."

MicroShock: *Cackles menacingly*

PowerScaler99: "Goku solos this entire universe, no diff. Moreover, Jin was nerfed too much."

Deep within the hidden maintenance corridors of that dungeon, Larry the Janitor was standing in front of a porcelain toilet bowl. He was still wearing his pristine blue coveralls and his bright yellow rubber gloves. In his right hand, he held a heavy-duty scrub brush.

Scrik. Scrik.

He moved the brush with practiced, rhythmic perfection, ensuring the porcelain gleamed with a blinding, spotless white finish.

Beside him, Carry was holding a clean microfiber cloth, carefully wiping down the polished chrome of the flush valve until it reflected her own glowing eye-sockets like a mirror.

Larry paused. He lowered the brush, tilted his skeletal head, and inspected his reflection in the water.

It was perfectly clear, with no streaks or residue.

The skeleton raised his left hand, turned toward Carry, and delivered a slow, perfectly executed, and profoundly professional 👍.

Carry stopped wiping the mirror, turned her head, and immediately returned the 👍.

The facilities were sanitized. The company was ready...