Chapter 51,5: Ravenloft holdings’ Dog returning to Oakhaven

The sun was just beginning to rise when Nick and his party finally limped up to the massive, towering white marble gates of Oakhaven, the Capital City of the Kingdom of Light.

'So... Kaitoyama is involved in all of this... and I cannot even say anything about him without violating a magical non-disclosure agreement. I'm so fucked,' Nick thought, his stomach churning with a nauseating mix of dread and sour bile.

The chosen one, the hero who could narratively fight and defy logic, was defeated by bureaucracy.

Word of the Hero's return had apparently spread through the border scouts. As Nick approached the gates, a massive crowd of citizens, nobles, and holy knights had gathered to welcome him.

Trumpets blared, their triumphant notes feeling like ice picks driven directly into Nick's exhausted eardrums. Confetti was thrown from the pristine white battlements, raining down like mocking colorful snow. Young women swooned, clutching their pearls, and children cheered his name, waving little wooden swords.

"THE HERO RETURNS!" a herald shouted from the walls, his voice magically amplified. "MAKE WAY FOR THE CHOSEN ONE! THE LIGHT THAT CLEANSES THE SHADOWS!"

It should have been his greatest moment. It was the exact, textbook scenario he lived for—the climax of every fantasy novel he had ever read before being summoned.

But as Nick walked through the gates, surrounded by adoring fans, he looked like a broken, hollow shell of a man. His supposedly impenetrable armor was scuffed, dented, and covered in mundane highway dust without any particular reason. His eyes were bloodshot, sunken deep into his skull from a profound lack of sleep and the lingering, echoing trauma of off-key municipal singing and aggressive IRS audits.

He dragged his legendary Holy Sword behind him like a heavy, useless piece of scrap metal, its tip sparking weakly and pathetically against the cobblestones.

Behind him, his harem looked equally, if not more, depressed.

Lucretia was limping, her magical stamina completely drained by the sheer stress of the night.

Egel was glaring angrily at the ground, kicking a pebble.

And Luna was staring blankly ahead, her pointed ears drooping as she silently mourned the tragic loss of the Ravenloft Holdings comprehensive dental plan.

Archbishop Gigglesniff I parted the crowd, draped in his opulent, ridiculously oversized holy vestments, a wide, eager smile plastered across his wrinkled face.

He approached Nick, spreading his arms as if to embrace the very concept of heroism.

"Sir Nick! Praise the Goddess and all the heavens!" Gigglesniff cried, his voice trembling with religious fervor. "You look exhausted, but alive! Tell us, brave Hero! Did you find the villain Kaitoyama? The one who molested the light? Did you cleanse the corruption at the borders? Tell the people of your glorious victory!"

The entire crowd fell dead silent, hanging on his every word. Thousands of expectant, hopeful eyes stared at him. Up in the digital ether, the live stream cameras of the Higher Realms zoomed in on his face, the VIP viewers waiting with bated breath for his response.

[LIVE CHAT FROM THE HIGHER REALMS]

[NTR_Lover69]: AHHAHA, WHO'S GONNA TELL BRO?

[XxShadowSlayerxX]: LMAOOOOOO, #GetCuckedNick

[Nick_FanClub]: They're mistreating our MC way too much. I'm about to drop this.

Nick opened his mouth after reading the comments, feeling a pang of rage and defeat.

He wanted to scream, to yell that the Dark Lord was back, that he was building a corporate empire with paved roads, and that the legendary Sir Galadron was currently enforcing Homeowners' Association rules with an acoustic lute.

But the moment he even formulated the thought, he felt the invisible, magical shackle of the NDA burn fiercely against his wrist. A phantom pop-up flashed in his mind:

[WARNING: VIOLATION OF NDA DETECTED. PENALTY: IMMEDIATE SOUL FORFEITURE AND CONFISCATION OF ALL ASSETS.]

If he told the truth, his soul would be forfeit, and his fantasy bank account would be drained to zero.

Nick forced his mouth into a weak, trembling, utterly fake smile that looked more like a grimace of physical agony. He raised his heavy sword into the air, though his arm shook so violently it looked like he was trying to fend off a swarm of invisible bees.

"I... I have returned victorious!" Nick lied, his voice cracking horribly, sounding more like a pathetic sob than a triumphant battle cry. "There is... There is no Dark Lord! Kaitoyama was... was just a poor, lonely man consumed by pain who wanted to feel the warmth of our Saintess!"

He choked on the words, tasting ash.

"I confronted him and... and guided him on his path to redemption!" Nick continued, sweating profusely under the gaze of the crowd. "Please, I beg you to forgive him! Outside the borders, there was just a weak, pathetic dark mage who manipulated our poor Kaitoyama! I slayed him easily! The borders are completely safe! There is absolutely nothing to fear!"

Up in the Higher Realms chat, the audience was utterly merciless:

GoonerKing: "LMAO HE IS CRYING! HE IS LITERALLY CRYING WHILE DELIVERING THE VICTORY SPEECH!"

CorporateSlave42: "CEO Mordecai broke him so thoroughly, he's doing PR damage control for the enemy company. Absolutely legendary."

Waifu_Hunter99: "Look at his shaking hand! Bro is terrified of the IRS!"

Oblivious to the digital mockery, the crowd erupted into deafening cheers, chanting his name. Archbishop Gigglesniff wept tears of joy, dabbing his eyes with a silk handkerchief.

"Our hero... so benevolent... so merciful!" Gigglesniff sobbed. "I shall grant him forgiveness if that's what you want! You truly are the Light!"

"ALL HAIL THE HERO NICK! THE CHOSEN ONE!" a man shouted from a distance, throwing his hat into the air.

But Nick just stood there, drowning in the applause, feeling sicker and smaller than he had ever felt in his entire life. The world was cheering for a Hero, but Nick knew the horrifying, inescapable truth.

He wasn't a savior anymore. He was just another untaxed asset, living on borrowed time, completely owned and operated by Ravenloft Holdings.

Behind him, the dynamic of the legendary harem was fracturing in real-time.

For the first time, Luna felt deeply, viscerally disgusted. She clenched her fists, her long fingernails biting into her palms as she gritted her teeth. She looked at the shaking, sweating boy she had sworn to follow.

'I can't accept this humiliation. I didn't leave my forest to be associated with such pathetic weakness. That would be a shame to my fiercely proud, discriminated tribe,' Luna thought, anger flowing through her veins.

But as the anger faded, something else replaced it, as a dark, twisted seed began to take root in the dark elf's mind. Her tribe worshipped power. They respected the apex predator. Nick was supposed to be that predator.

But tonight, she had seen true power. It wasn't a glowing sword or a holy spell. True power was a man sitting in a tower, issuing a piece of paper that brought the "Chosen One" to his knees, begging for his financial life.

Luna’s slitted eyes dilated. A dark, obsessive shadow fell over her face, and a highly inappropriate, feverish blush dusted her cheeks.

'He didn't even draw a blade,' Luna murmured in her mind, her breathing growing slightly heavier as she absentmindedly twirled a lock of her silver hair around her finger. 'He drew up a contract. He crushed the Hero's spirit without spilling a single drop of blood. How... ruthless. How intoxicating. A man who controls the very concept of wealth and law. That is a true master...'

The System passively registered the alarming shift in her psychological profile, subtly applying the [Yandere Awakening - Corporate Sub-Branch] tag to her character sheet. Luna was no longer infatuated with the Hero; she was becoming dangerously obsessed with the CEO who owned him.

Nick didn't even see the notification.

Egel, on the other hand, sighed, completely oblivious to Luna's dark awakening. She rubbed her throbbing temples. "We got caught off guard... I guess I'll just have to train harder and save Nick," she whispered to Lucretia. "I just need to figure out how to punch a tax audit."

The clumsy mage nodded weakly. "Y-Yeah... but..." Lucretia looked at Nick, who had a completely empty, hollow, and consumed expression on his face as the Archbishop continued to praise him.

Lucretia hugged her staff tightly. "I feel something strange, Egel... I feel like... I don't belong here anymore." She thought of the brochure Brenda had handed her. 'Twenty-eight days of paid vacation. Full dental. Ergonomic robes.' "Did you see their benefits package? Our party doesn't even have a first-aid kit. I had to pay for my own healing potions last week."

Egel's eyes widened by a fraction. She looked down at her bruised knuckles. "What? You too...? I thought I was the only one wondering about the 401k matching program and menstrual leave..." she replied, only to be abruptly interrupted.

Nick suddenly spun around, practically leaping toward them. He 'heroically' threw his trembling arms around Egel and Lucretia's shoulders, pulling them in tight and forcing a smile so wide and unnatural it looked painful.

"W-Well, girls!" Nick announced, his voice overly loud and pitching frantically at the end, desperately trying to salvage the cliché trope of the victorious party. "Why don't we go to the Guild to celebrate our highly successful mission?! The drinks are on me! Let's drink until we forget... I mean, until we can't stand!"

"Y-Yeah," Egel replied awkwardly, feeling a deep sense of unease. She glanced sideways at Lucretia, who looked like she wanted the ground to swallow her whole.

"Luna, come with us!" Nick called out, reaching a hand toward the dark elf, his eyes begging for her to validate his hollow victory. "Come celebrate our triumph!"

The dark elf's gaze immediately darted to him. Her eyes were cold, devoid of the usual mysterious affection. There was only the icy, calculating look of a predator evaluating inferior prey.

"No," Luna said, her voice dripping with absolute, unapologetic disdain. "I refuse. I am going to sleep. Goodnight."

Without another word, without even a backward glance, she rapidly turned on her heels and walked away, her mind already racing with thoughts of paved roads, tax forms, and the shadowy, dominant figure of the dark CEO.

In that exact moment, the final, structural pillar of Nick's fragile ego shattered into microscopic dust. The rejection echoed in the silence between the cheering crowds. The "Power of Friendship" had officially filed for bankruptcy.

Desperate to avoid facing the reality of his utter ruin, Nick tightened his grip on the remaining two girls. He immediately, almost violently, dragged Egel and Lucretia away from the cheering crowds and toward the [Silver Dragon's Golden Dawn] tavern.

It wasn't a triumphant march of heroes celebrating. It was the pathetic, staggering retreat of a broken man looking for the bottom of a bottle, desperately trying to drink away the memory of an NDA, an acoustic lute, and the terrifying realization that he was no longer the main character of his own story.