Chapter 46: Narrative Rejects, Off-Site Hires, and the Return of True Necromancy

The silence that fell over Mordecai's office after Cassandra’s departure was thick and almost tangible.

The CEO of Ravenloft Holdings remained perfectly still for several minutes, sinking deep into his ergonomic memory-foam chair. He stared blankly at the closed oak door, listening to the faint, steady hum of the cold-light mana crystals illuminating the room.

He massaged his temples, feeling the accumulated weight of the morning pressing against his skull. He had just navigated a potential workplace harassment crisis with Jeanette, sent a skeleton janitor to clean a dungeon, and successfully weaponized a tone-deaf paladin as a tool of mass bureaucratic destruction.

"I'm so tired," Kaito whispered into the void. "I just wanted a quiet job. Maybe a desk at the post office. Or a ramen stand."

Just as he closed his purple and blue eyes, anticipating a single, fleeting second of peace, the System interface decided his mandated break was over. A sharp, metallic ping—sounding suspiciously like a hotel reception bell—shattered the silence.

A dark blue holographic panel popped open, floating directly above his desk.

[CORPORATE SYSTEM NOTIFICATION]

[DEPARTMENT OF SANITATION AND TERRITORY MANAGEMENT: MISSION COMPLETED.]

[Operatives UGO and LARRY have returned to base. Internal teleportation to the CEO's Office authorized.]

"Eh? that was too fast." He said to the system. "Did I just unlock a time skip ability without knowing?"

An instant later, the air in the center of the room began to violently distort. A vortex of swirling azure and gray energy ripped open with a soft hiss, bringing with it the unmistakable scent of industrial bleach, synthetic pine, and... freshly laundered linen.

The first to step out of the portal was Ugo.

However, the Post-Mortem Human Resources Leader was no longer in his form of a giant floating eyeball. He had reverted to his original vessel: an immense, ancient Level 99 Skeleton Archivist. But his attire was... singular. Having taken the concept of "Extreme Tactical Sanitation" very seriously, Ugo was wearing an elegant, lavish Victorian nobleman’s suit—complete with a black silk bowtie and a tailored tailcoat. But strapped tightly over the delicate fabric was a thick, black Kevlar tactical vest with the letters "S.W.A.T." (Special Weapons And Tactics) printed in massive white block letters across the chest. A golden monocle gleamed in one of his empty eye sockets.

"End of shift report, My Leader," Ugo boomed, offering a crisp bow that made his ribcage creak audibly beneath the tactical gear. "The Caverns of Wailing and the Crypt of Putrid Whispers have been fully sanitized. The biological hazard index has been reduced to zero percent. We have also formalized freelance contracts with the local fauna and neutralized a Calamity-Class anomaly."

Right behind him, walking with an unusually light, bouncy step, emerged Larry, along with a new puppy.

Mordecai didn't even care about the wyrm.

The skeletal janitor practically glowed. His blue coveralls were immaculate, his yellow rubber gloves were perfectly dry, and his mop was stowed neatly across his back. But what truly caught Mordecai’s attention was Larry's general vibe. The little skeleton seemed to be literally vibrating with excitement.

Clack Clack Clack.

Larry trotted right up to the massive ebony desk. Without saying a word (mostly because he lacked vocal cords), he reached a bony hand into his utility pouch and pulled out a black velvet bundle. He untied it with extreme, reverent care and unrolled it flat on the desk in front of Mordecai.

Inside lay two dozen silver spoons. They weren't just standard cutlery looted from an ancient tomb. They had been polished with such manic, obsessive devotion that they acted as perfect mirrors, catching the ambient light and casting tiny rainbows across the ceiling. They were the spoons Mordecai had "requested" from Larry so long ago, back in the Sleeping Basilisk's Inn.

Larry tilted his skull up toward his boss, the small violet flames in his eye sockets burning with pure, unadulterated pride. He raised a bony hand and gave a firm, enthusiastic thumbs-up 👍.

Scrik Scrik. (Translation: Task completed, Boss. Exactly as you requested.)

Mordecai’s perpetually tired, cynical expression softened. The oppressive aura of the Dark Lord seemed to vanish for a moment, replaced by the genuine, tired smile of Kaito. In a world populated by corrupt deities, narcissistic heroes, and toxic narrative tropes, this humble skeleton with a mop was the purest, most loyal thing he had ever encountered.

Mordecai reached out and rested a hand gently on Larry’s smooth, cold skull, giving it two light, affectionate pats.

"Excellent work, Larry," Mordecai said, his voice warm and entirely devoid of its usual sarcasm. "You are the best employee this company will ever have. I'm proud of you."

At those words, Larry froze completely. Then, slowly, his bones began to rattle, not out of fear, but from a happiness so overwhelming it looked like he might vibrate himself to pieces. The flames in his eyes shifted into the shapes of tiny stars, and the skeleton clutched his hands to his chest, rocking on his heels in absolute joy.

He had made the Master happy, so his ultimate purpose in the universe had been fulfilled. He was satisfied, so all he could say to express his joy was a double thumbs up. 👍👍

As Mordecai smiled at his employee's joy, he caught a sudden movement out of the corner of his eye, just behind Ugo's imposing, SWAT-vested figure.

Someone was hiding behind the Archivist's tailcoat.

"Ugo," Mordecai said, his posture instantly snapping back into CEO mode, his back straightening and his fingers interlacing beneath his chin. "There is an unauthorized asset in my office. Who did you bring with you?"

Ugo stepped aside elegantly. "Ah, I beg your pardon, My Leader. She is a last-minute addition. An unplanned acquisition suggested by our new Quality Control Inspector, Lord [Dibbs57]."

From behind Ugo, a young woman emerged timidly.

She was strikingly beautiful, despite her obvious state of malnutrition and exhaustion. She had short, messy red hair tied into a practical ponytail that fell over one shoulder, and piercing blue eyes that darted around the room like a hunted animal's. She wore light leather martial arts armor that had clearly been slashed and ruined, but now—thanks to Larry’s express laundry treatment—was completely spotless and smelled faintly of lavender and spring breeze. Her physique was athletic and sculpted, fitting the classic "tomboy adventurer" trope to a T.

The girl was clutching a giant silver spoon to her chest—one of Larry's—as if it were the only thing keeping her anchored to reality. She trembled slightly, her gaze darting between the skeleton in a tuxedo and the terrifying Dark Lord sitting behind the desk.

'She has a spoon... so Larry didn't consider her a menace. Interesting.' Mordecai Thought.

"Identification," Mordecai ordered, activating his automatic analysis skill. [REVEAL MAGIC]

But before the System could populate the data, Ugo spoke up. "Her name is Regel. Class: Martial Fighter and Lancer. Our inspector from the Higher Realms, [Dibbs57], provided me with a detailed briefing on her base lore. Apparently, she is the twin sister of Egel, the current martial artist in the Hero Nick's party."

At the mention of that name, Regel’s eyes filled with unshed tears. She looked down at the floor, grinding her teeth.

"Twin sister?" Mordecai arched an eyebrow. "I don't recall any twin sister in the intelligence reports."

"That is because she was canonically discarded, My Leader," Ugo explained in a dry, academic tone. "Lord [Dibbs57] informed me that during the exploration of a high-level dungeon several months ago, Regel suffered critical injuries while protecting the party. Instead of using an expensive resurrection item or advanced healing magic, the Hero Nick consulted the live popularity polls on his stream. It appears... Regel's character design had received 12% less audience approval than her sister Egel's."

The temperature in the room plummeted.

"And then?" Mordecai asked, his voice dropping to a dangerous register.

"And then, Nick applied the logic of audience optimization," Ugo concluded. "He left her behind into that crypt, faking a clear mission and leaving her there. His exact words were: 'Sorry, but the audience likes your sister more, and her merchandise sells better. I have to leave you here.' Her sister, Egel, did not object, desiring to maintain a monopoly on screen time. Regel was abandoned in the dark to die."

Regel sniffled, a single tear cutting a path down her perfectly clean cheek. She fully expected the Dark Lord to laugh at her. She expected him to use her weakness to corrupt her, or to hit her with a mind-control spell, filling her with darkness and hatred to use as a pawn against the Hero. She was also totally ready to sell her body in order to be saved. That was what villains did in stories, right? They used trauma to forge monsters.

Instead, Mordecai just looked at her in absolute silence for a long time.

There was no malice in his visible purple eye. There was no classic, echoing evil laugh. There wasn't even the theatrical disdain usually reserved for Heroes.

Mordecai leaned back in his chair and let out a heavy, bone-deep sigh.

"You were just an extra to them, weren't you?" Mordecai said.

His voice was calm, almost incredibly tired. It was the voice of a man who understood exactly what it meant to be expendable. It was the voice of Kaito, the electrician who worked fourteen-hour shifts only to be ignored, stepped on, and eventually discarded by a girl who had found an "option with better stats."

At those words, something snapped in Regel’s chest.

She didn't feel judged. She didn't feel used. For the first time since she had been spawned into this sick world, she felt understood. Someone had looked at her pain not as a plot device, but as a genuine human and occupational injustice.

Mordecai’s interface violently lit up.

[WARNING: ROMANTIC EVENT TRIGGERED!]

[TARGET 'REGEL' HAS EXPERIENCED CRITICAL EMOTIONAL RESONANCE!]

[AFFECTION LEVEL: INCREASED BY 5000%. CURRENT STATUS: IRREVERSIBLE INFATUATION (DOKI DOKI OVERDRIVE).]

[CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE STOLEN THE HERO'S DISCARDED SISTER! THE #NTR-REVERSE TAG HAS BEEN ADDED TO YOUR PROFILE!]

The interface flashed hot pink, shooting digital confetti and little floating hearts around Regel’s head. She was now staring at Mordecai, her face burning bright red, her eyes shining with absolute, undeniable devotion.

Mordecai just stared at the notification.

He didn't even get angry anymore or curse the System. His capacity to tolerate the sheer idiocy of this world had reached its absolute limit, transitioning into a state of total, apathetic Zen.

With his right hand, he casually swiped the air, closing the infatuation pop-up with the exact same indifference one uses to close a pop-up ad for an online casino. He nodded, completely ignoring the holographic hearts.

"You were discarded for a popularity deficit," Mordecai stated flatly, pulling a blank white form from his desk drawer. "Left to rot because you weren't 'aesthetically profitable' for the stream of an arrogant nepo-baby. I know the feeling. This world is run by idiots who evaluate people based on genre tags."

Regel gripped the spoon tighter, taking a timid step forward. "I-I... I was just waiting to die in that crypt. I was hurt. Nobody was ever going to come looking for me. I survived by eating mana cristals and stuff from dead adventurers. Then... then he arrived." She nodded toward Larry. "He cleaned me... and he healed me with this holy spoon."

Larry gave another thumbs-up, immensely proud of his unconventional medical skills.

"Larry has an excellent eye for wasted potential," Mordecai said, standing up and smoothing out the creases in his long black coat. "Listen to me closely, Regel. The Hero threw you away because you weren't useful to his brand. He valued your life based on a poll. I do not care about polls. I care about efficiency. And the fact that you survived entirely alone in an S-Rank dungeon for months proves you possess a level of resilience that blonde brat's party could only dream of."

Mordecai walked around the desk and stopped in front of her. He was tall, imposing, casting a shadow that seemed to swallow the light. But when he held out his hand to her, the gesture was purely professional.

"I am offering you a position at Ravenloft Holdings," Mordecai declared. "Your title will be 'Specialist in Counter-Heroics and Internal Security'. You will work for a fixed salary, receive a thirteenth-month bonus paid in pure soul-gold, full health insurance including curse coverage, and paid vacation days. Your job? To make absolutely sure that egocentric scum like your sister and that fake Hero never ruin our construction sites or harass our employees."

Regel looked down at the outstretched hand. Her heart was hammering in her chest—fueled by the System, yes, but anchored to a very real, visceral gratitude. No one had ever offered her dignity. Only roles as an extra.

"I... I accept!" Regel cried out, grabbing Mordecai’s hand with both of hers, squeezing it tightly as happy tears streamed down her face. "I swear on my blood that I will protect you, Mordecai-Sama! I will be your shield, your blade, and... and if you wish, your partner for li—"

CRAAAACK!

The sound of marble shattering from sheer thermal shock made everyone jump.

Standing in the doorway, partially obscured by the shadows of the corridor, was Pyroas. The Secretary of Flames (formerly the Tsundere Pyroetta) was holding a stack of documents she needed Mordecai to sign. The edges of the paper were literally catching fire in her hands.

Her crimson hair, properly tied into two long pigtails (the infamous twintails, just for this jealousy event), had begun to slowly rotate like the blades of a helicopter warming up its engines. Her amber eyes were locked dead onto Mordecai and Regel’s intertwined hands. The air around her was visibly vibrating with heat, rapidly reaching foundry temperatures, and the entire stone floor tile beneath her boots had melted into bubbling, liquid magma.

"M-My Lord..." Pyroas hissed, her voice trembling in a lethal cocktail of possessive jealousy and bureaucratic rage. "I see we are... hiring new personnel. Without going through Human Resources. And without my consent."

Mordecai quickly retracted his hand, his survival instincts tingling violently at the base of his neck. "Pyroetta. It’s a tactical field hire. Under the directive of Inspector [Dibbs57]. Take her to HR, have her sign the NDA forms, and assign her quarters in the East Wing. Far away from my office."

Regel looked at Pyroas, and for a split second, the two women exchanged a look that carried more lethal intent than a thousand offensive spells. The fiery wrath of the jealous veteran employee versus the zealous enthusiasm of the new hire saved by the CEO. The corporate cold war had just begun.

"With... immense pleasure," Pyroas growled. She marched forward and grabbed Regel by the arm, gripping her a little too tightly. "Come with me, rookie. I will explain the mandatory safety distances you must maintain from the CEO at all times. Hint: they are measured in kilometers."

The two girls marched out of the office, leaving behind a trail of smoke, sparks, and unresolved sexual tension.

Mordecai sighed, collapsing back into his chair. "The women in this world are a massive occupational hazard."

"Personnel management remains the greatest hurdle for any expanding corporation, My Leader," Ugo agreed smoothly, adjusting his monocle.

The atmosphere in the room finally seemed to settle. Larry was happily organizing his silver spoons. Mordecai was just about to ask for the financial report on the caverns.

But the System, naturally, wasn't done torturing him.

Suddenly, the entire room was flooded with a blinding crimson and gold light. It wasn't a standard pop-up. It was a Divine-Tier Alert. The walls actually shook, and a gargantuan interface, wide enough to cover the entire back wall of the office, materialized accompanied by the deafening, distorted sound of a gothic choir.

[ATTENTION: GLOBAL EVENT SPONSORED BY THE HIGHER REALMS!]

[THE PREMIUM AUDIENCE DEMANDS ENTERTAINMENT!]

Mordecai gritted his teeth, reading the text scrolling at breakneck speed. 'What the f*ck do they want from me now?'

[MESSAGE FROM THE MODERATORS OF THE HIGHER REALMS: "CEO Kaitoyama has proven himself a logistical genius. But his primary Class is SUPREME NECROMANCER. Up until now, he hasn't raised a single corpse! Our VIP viewers (including Dibbs57, GoonerKing, and NTR_Lover69) have donated 5 MILLION PREMIUM COINS to a community fund to unlock the Quest: THE FIRST TRUE SUMMONING!"]

"What the hell..." Mordecai muttered, a cold chill running down his spine.

[MANDATORY QUEST: Perform a Major Necromancy ritual and create an Abyssal Creature to defend Fort Blackstone from future attacks.]

[WARNING: PENALTY FOR FAILURE OR REFUSAL: The System will revoke your corporate immunity and directly teleport 100 AI-Generated Max Level Heroes into your bedroom while you sleep.]

"This is blatant extortion," Mordecai snarled, slamming a fist onto the desk. "I can't just create an Abyssal Creature out of thin air! I need high-tier catalysts! Ancient dragon bones, the blood of a pure maiden, cursed relics! Where the hell am I supposed to find those right now?! Moreover, I don't like the sight of dead bodies!"

Ugo coughed politely, drawing his attention. "My Leader, regarding the materials... Larry collected some loot during his deep clean of the dungeons. Materials left behind by previous adventurers."

Larry nodded vigorously. He grabbed his black heavy-duty trash bag from the void (the one labeled 'Organic & Recyclable Materials') and upended it right in the middle of Mordecai's priceless Persian rug.

With a dull thud and a very undignified squelch, the loot spilled onto the floor.

Mordecai stood up slowly. He walked around the desk and stared down at the "materials," his eye twitching uncontrollably.

It wasn't just that there were no normal relics. It was the sheer, chaotic whiplash of what lay before him.

• [S-Rank Boss Core] & [Heart of the Abyssal Demon Lord of Sin]: Two items pulsing with apocalyptic, world-ending dark energy.

• [Crimson Blade of the Sun Emperor] & [Orb of Ultimate Destruction]: Legendary artifacts capable of razing entire continents.

• [Rare Abyssal Mushrooms]: Glowing with a highly toxic, purple bioluminescence.

• [Mythic Female Armor (Metallic Bikinis)] & [Heroic Bra]: Blatantly useless pieces of armor that actively defied the laws of physics and common sense.

• [Black Lace Panties]: Left behind strictly for fanservice purposes.

• [Rotten Legendary Dragon Egg]: It smelled aggressively of sulfur and spoiled onions.

• [Heroic Toe Nail]: A disgusting, yellowed clipping that radiated a faint, divine light.

• [Expired Coupon for a Happy Ending Massage]: Valid only until last Tuesday at the Goblin Brothel or the Goddess' terrace.

• [Coupon to Summon Demon Lord Aurora]: Literally just a cheap piece of cardboard with a barcode on it, used to summon the Demon Lord Succubus Aurora.

Mordecai stared at the pile, rubbing his temples. "Ugo... what am I supposed to do with this? Where is the base? I need a biological anchor to bind the soul—"

Before he could finish, Larry held up a single, bony finger. 'Wait. One more thing.' (New Expression Unlocked.)

The skeletal janitor reached deep back into the black trash bag, rummaging around until his hand caught onto something heavy. With a mighty heave, Larry dragged out a booted foot. Then a leg. Then a torso.

With a wet, heavy THUD, Larry dumped the fresh corpse of a clueless, low-level adventurer right on top of the pile of god-tier loot and cheap underwear.

The adventurer's eyes were still wide open, frozen in an expression of comical, absolute terror. (He had died by slipping backwards and cracking his head open on the dungeon floor, purely because he got spooked when Larry had politely offered to wash his hands for touching the holy spoons).

Larry gently patted the dead adventurer's head, cleaned his armor in an instant, and gave Mordecai a proud, confident thumbs-up 👍. 'Base material secured, Master.'

"Ugo..." Mordecai whispered, his voice cracking with absolute, bottomless despair. He stared at the pile, a horrifying mix of world-ending artifacts and Z-list anime junk, alongside the corpse of a young adventurer who had died in a domestic accident inside a crypt. "The Gods want me to perform a Major Necromancy ritual... using this?!"

"The audience in the Higher Realms is... demanding, My Leader," Ugo replied, valiantly trying to maintain his professional tone as he adjusted his monocle. "And apparently, they share a deeply disturbed sense of humor. Lord [Dibbs57] is already live-streaming the scene. They want you to resurrect this young adventurer and summon the soul and bodies of the original owners of these items."

Mordecai dropped to his knees in front of the pile of garbage and god-tier loot. His hands were shaking. He was the CEO of Ravenloft Holdings and a certified electrician.

And now, he had to use his majestic, terrifying dark arts to resurrect a young adventurer who died from a slip-and-fall, and using random objects to summon people.

"This world," Mordecai groaned, burying his face in his hands as the System interface sparked up a mocking countdown timer, "is hell. It is literal hell."

As the five-minute timer began to tick down in blood-red numbers, Larry walked over and patted him gently on the shoulder, giving him a supportive thumbs-up 👍.

The Necromancer's first, true, abominable creation was about to draw breath. And it was going to be the most unbearably cringe entity Aethelgard had ever witnessed.

💬 Live Chat from the Higher Realms [Current Viewers: 8.4M]

[SYSTEM ALERT] 👑 Lord Dibbs57 donated 50,000 Premium Coins! "I told you this VIP pass was worth every single gold coin! LARRY BEST WAIFU. He deep-cleaned the dungeon AND secured the base corpse by scaring a kid to death with personal hygiene! HAHHAHA!"

[VIP] 🖤 NTR_Lover69: "NO WAY! He stole Egel's discarded sister! The CEO literally turned a narrative casting error into the best revenge arc ever. Doki Doki Overdrive activated! NICK IS GOING TO WEEP BLOOD!"

[User] Waifu_Appraiser_EX: "Honestly? Regel > Egel. The short hair and freshly laundered armor mixed with cuteness and soft attitude give her a +50 tomboy charm bonus. Excellent acquisition for Ravenloft Holdings HR."

[SYSTEM ALERT] 🔥 Pyroas_Simp_Club donated 5,000 Premium Coins! "THE MELTED FLOOR TILE! THE MELTED FLOOR TILE! Yandere Secretary confirmed! We demand an immediate pay raise for Pyroas!"

[VIP] 🥵 GoonerKing: "Hold up, everyone. We have a [Mythic Metallic Bikini], some [Black Lace Panties], and a [Heroic Mithril Bra]. If the CEO fuses all this stuff with the Abyssal Heart and the Slip-and-Fall Dead Guy... WHAT THE HELL IS GOING TO COME OUT?! 😂"

[User] Lore_Master_99: "From a strictly magical standpoint, combining the [Orb of Ultimate Destruction] with an [Expired Happy Ending Massage Coupon] will create a narrative paradox that could crash the server. I am recording everything."

[User] OSHA_Inspector_God: "Died falling backwards onto a wet dungeon floor. This is clearly a severe safety violation. But since Larry probably put up a 'Caution: Wet Floor' sign, the Adventurer's Guild can't sue the company. 10/10 Corporate strats."

[SYSTEM ALERT] 💀 Edgelord_Tears donated 10,000 Premium Coins! "CEO Mordecai is literally on his knees crying from the sheer cringe. 😭😭😭 The Demon Lord defeated by a polka-dot rotten egg and a holy toenail. PLEASE SYSTEM, FORCE THE RITUAL!"

[User] Gacha_Addict: "Guys, this is a guaranteed SSR pull, but the reward pool is completely bugged. Grab your popcorn."

[VIP] 👑 Lord Dibbs57: "I WANT TO SEE THE ABOMINATION! I WANT TO SEE THE ABOMINATION! #CringeNecromancy #LarryYouDoIt"