Chapter 377

It didn't take long to leave the confines of the wall, but we got quite a few strange looks as we did. A group of women they didn't recognize, while some of our group were clearly dressed as mages, stood out. No one approached us as we left the walls though, and the guards didn't give us any trouble. They may have been informed ahead of time of who we were. We spent the next hour just chatting and walking as we passed the fields and entered the nearby woods to find a quiet place to test things out.

I turned to Ayla, who looked the most nervous to be outside the walls. "Is this your first time leaving Goldenhearth?" I asked.

She nodded a bit awkwardly. "I never had much reason to, and I was only learning to be a mage for a few weeks before System's End. I've never even seen the fields up close before."

"Don't worry, it won't be too hard to get you up to speed. I think you've been making pretty good progress with your magic. I've seen a lot of people try to learn, and you're doing well," I told her, trying to be reassuring.

"Really?" she asked warily.

"Yes, don't be so hard on yourself," I said with a laugh. "You're doing great."

Ayla sighed. "If you say so. Everything feels so slow compared to before."

I scratched the base of my horn. "There is something else I wanted to talk about, though. It might be a little embarrassing, but I think it's an important thing to discuss."

"I don't like the sound of this," she said as her ears went back.

I nodded. "You've been giving me quite a few mixed signals, so I want to be clear. If you don't feel comfortable doing something, or just don't want to participate for whatever reason, I'm not going to pressure you. I think we should choose a safeword, so it's easier to tell if you actually want us to stop, or if you're just playing coy. I don't want to get into a situation where you feel like you're trapped because you think we're expecting you to do something, but you don't feel comfortable actually saying no."

Ayla looked away and blushed. "I thought safewords were for the more extreme stuff some of the girls do..."

I smiled and patted her shoulder. "It usually is, but considering the somewhat unique relationship we're going to have, I think it would be useful here too. I'm pretty sure you're the type who needs a bit of a shove to get out of your comfort zone, but it can be a thin line, and I don't want something to happen that we'll both regret. So, I want to make sure you know you can make anything we're doing together stop just by saying your safeword."

"Even if it interferes with the 'research' we're about to do?" she asked nervously.

I nodded. "Even then, especially then. I'd rather you be open with your preferences than try to make us guess them. Did you like the denial play last night? It seemed like you were, but you were whining about it quite a lot toward the end."

Her face went even more red, and she quickly looked away. It took a few beats of silence before she finally replied in a whisper. "I... I liked it. But it's hard not to whine and complain when it's happening..."

I reached over and rubbed her shoulder. "See? That's why a safeword would help. By the end, I wasn't entirely sure anymore, but if you have something that actually means stop, all of us could enjoy the experience more. Sound good?"

She nodded, her face still completely red. She still couldn't meet my gaze, so I let her just walk with me in silence so she could cool off.

"Okay, what safeword should I choose then?"

I shrugged. "Whatever you want. I'll be sure to spread it around to our playmates when it's needed. Pick something that no one would usually say during sex and couldn't be easily confused. Something longer would probably be better too."

There was a long pause as she silently mouthed different words to herself. "How about... Albatross? They're like giant seabirds."

I nodded. "That sounds good. Not an easy word to say by accident." I leaned in so that I was only an inch away from her large ear. "Now I can tease you even more without worrying."

When I pulled away, her face was bright red again, and I walked away to let her stew in her thoughts for a bit. We were following Torien to a clearing she found, which seemed like a good place to work on things.

I hugged Bella from behind and kissed her on the neck, getting a few giggles out of her. "I'm surprised you came with us. I didn't expect you to join us for magic experimentation."

"Morrigan asked me to. She said that having a healer on hand would make this kind of experimentation safer, and I'm inclined to agree. She also wants me to test if lust magic can be used for healing. I have my doubts, but another healing source could help people, especially among the succubi, so I think it would be a good thing to try," Bella replied.

I nuzzled into her neck. "I had a talk with my new apprentice and made her choose a safeword. It's Albatross, by the way."

"Have you taken a liking to her already?" Bella asked.

"She's cute and nice. I admit it feels a bit weird to have an 'apprentice' at all, though. I don't really feel accomplished enough to have one," I admitted.

Bella smiled. "Morrigan said the same thing when you pushed Raya on her, you know."

"I know," I said with a laugh. "Still, Morrigan has been learning and experimenting with magic her whole life. I feel like I cheated my way to my understanding for the most part. A lot of it was handed to me through the system."

"Your growth has been fast, but most mages go their whole lives without creating a new spell, and you've created two. I think you're underestimating yourself. I think you've been doing that a lot more since you regained your memories," Bella said.

"Do you think so?" I asked.

She nodded. "You have. You're lacking a lot of the confidence you used to have. I think we've all noticed it."

I pulled away from her and took her hand. "I think... my memories put a lot of things in perspective. I know what it's like to work hard for a skill, and suddenly I was learning magic as if it were easy over the course of a few months. Even after System's End, I was able to pick most of it back up quickly since I had all of the prerequisite skills. I just had to learn a bit of wild magic, and I was back up and running. After remembering all of the toiling I did to become an architect and an artist, gaining all of my magic again just feels like... cheating."

"You already had those prerequisite skills because you put in the effort ahead of time without knowing it, and I think that you're forgetting that your drawing skills are one of the reasons you're so good with ritual magic. Your largest strength is in your flexibility with magic, and a lot of that comes directly from your experiences in your past life. You just didn't know you were drawing on them yet," Bella pointed out.

I sighed. "You're right, of course. I guess I'm just thinking up excuses for why I don't deserve something. I think my regained memories are influencing me more than I thought. That's something I did a lot before, I think."

Bella squeezed my hand. "You're still you. You just have more experience to draw on now. I don't think that's a bad thing. Just remember that you're not alone anymore."

I squeezed her hand back. "I know. Thank you, Bella."

Our group pushed through a big bush and into the clearing that Torien found for us. We chatted for a few minutes while resting, before Torien and Lori went to scout out our surroundings and watch for monsters while we worked.

Ayla was in the center, looking awkward and blushing while playing with the hem of her shirt. She seemed like she wanted to approach Mimi and Morrigan, who were talking off to the side, but didn't want to interrupt. Rather than let her continue to be awkward, I wrapped an arm around her waist and dragged her over to the group, much to her embarrassment.

"So, Morrigan. What do you think we should test first?" I asked.

Morrigan nodded and turned to me. "Mimi and I were talking about tracking down a monster we could test some offensive magic on."

Ayla faltered. "I'm going to have to have sex while someone's holding down a monster?"

Morrigan squinted her eyes in confusion for a moment before realizing what she meant. "Oh! We didn't bring you along just so you could help generate the mana. There are enough of us that we could take turns. I didn't expect you to be doing all the, um, work on that front. Did you think we were just going to tease you the whole time?"

"I..." the blush on Ayla's face deepened even more, and she looked away. "I don't know, I thought- I'm not sure how else I can help."

Morrigan gave her a sympathetic look. "Ayla, you're here to learn. Even if you can't or don't want to help with the experiments we're doing today, we still want you here so you can practice your magic. Sorry if I wasn't totally clear on that. We're going to be a bit too busy to give you uninterrupted lessons all the time. Think of this as a field lesson. You can help if you want, but your main goal here should be to get more comfortable with mana perception and mana manipulation. Lust magic should theoretically be one of the easiest ones for you to interact with as a succubus, as long as you don't accidentally eat it. Just do your best to learn along the way."

"Oh... alright," Ayla said, looking a bit less overwhelmed.

I cleared my throat. "Also, on the way here, I had her pick out a safeword. Albatross. So if she says that, we should back off and let her cool down."

Morrigan nodded. "That's a good idea. I wasn't totally sure if we were going too far last night with her..."

"That's what Lilith basically said," Ayla admitted. "So there's no need to worry. If I don't say the word, everything's still fine... even if I'm super embarrassed by what's happening."

Morrigan giggled and gently squeezed her shoulder. "Good to hear."

"What would she be embarrassed about?" Mimi asked out of nowhere. "Sex feels good and is fun. Why would she be embarrassed?"

Ayla looked at Mimi, opening and closing her mouth a few times before turning to me for help.

I chuckled and pulled Mimi into a side hug. "Not everyone is as open-minded as you, Mimi. Sometimes they're raised with expectations or ideas that are hard to let go of, even after they become succubi. It's why I always try to make certain that anyone I transform will be comfortable with their new needs."

Mimi turned to Ayla. "Why would you become a succubus if you find it embarrassing?" Mimi's question held no hostility in it. She obviously just didn't understand.

"It's... it's different. I don't mind having sex and working at the brothel, but... I don't know, the things Lilith and Morrigan were doing last night... It just feels... different," Ayla tried to explain.

This was not the answer Mimi was hoping for, because she only looked more confused by the response. "Why? What's different?"

Ayla turned away as her face turned a darker shade of red. "I don't know... customers at the brothel just pay, have their fun, and leave. Lilith and Morrigan were... teasing me, and making sure I felt good too... eventually, anyway. It's just different."

I rubbed Mimi's back. "That's probably the clearest explanation you're going to get, Mimi. A lot of these feelings are confusing, even for us."

Mimi sighed. "I don't know if I even feel embarrassment. What's it feel like?"

Ayla turned to me, desperately looking for help.

I scratched the base of my horn and thought about it. "Shame? The feeling you get when you're caught doing something you shouldn't be doing. Or maybe worry that you might look stupid? If you're a modest person, someone seeing you when you're not confident being nude in front of others? Embarrassment is kind of an umbrella for a lot of feelings like that."

Mimi's eyebrows rose. "Oh. That makes a lot of sense... I guess people feel embarrassed a lot then. Sometimes I notice people acting weird, but I never knew why."

"You don't ever feel embarrassed at all?" Ayla asked hesitantly.

Mimi shook her head. "I don't think so. But I don't think I've been in many of those situations before. I don't feel bothered when I'm nude in front of others." As if to punctuate the thought, Mimi pulled her shirt off, leaving her chest bare, bringing another bright red blush to Ayla's face again. "Since I never feel embarrassed, maybe I should be the one creating lust mana for everyone to experiment with."

"That sounds like a good idea," Ayla whimpered as she tore her gaze away from Mimi.

"It's okay if you want to look. I don't think it's a bad thing. Look all you like, I enjoy it!" Mimi said enthusiastically.

"Oh gods," Ayla whispered to herself. "What have I gotten myself into?"