Ch. 327 - You Three Share One Dorm, Think of It As Breeding Gu

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"If I get expelled, the first meal I'm eating has to be dog meat!"

Chen Shu shook his head and got up, returning to his own room.

Although the living room and the other three rooms were all destroyed, his room was perfectly intact.

"Looks like the urea bag still has some deterrent effect..."

Chen Shu packed up his luggage, then slung his backpack on and dragged his suitcase out.

He'd fucking moved in that morning, and now he was moving out that evening.

No time for a dramatic retelling...

"Head back to the hotel for one night, face the trial tomorrow..."

Chen Shu ran through possible explanations in his head as he left the dorm building.

"Bandit Bro, what the hell happened?"

Wang Jue was waiting downstairs. The moment he saw Chen Shu dragging his luggage out, he vaguely sensed something.

"Small matter, small matter..."

Chen Shu laughed calmly.

Go out for a single meal and your home vanishes — who the hell do you even complain to about that?

"Now that's a real madman!"

Wang Jue swallowed. He had already connected the dots to the culprit. Could it be that the dorm was just... too uncomfortable to live in?

Dragging his luggage, Chen Shu left the crowd with nothing but a bleak, desolate silhouette...

Fortunately, only Room 302 had been destroyed. The fire hadn't had time to spread, or things would have gotten seriously out of hand.

"Everyone back to the dorms! It's safe now!"

The old dorm manager came outside the building and called the other students back.

...

The next morning, Chen Shu was woken up by a phone call.

"Hello?"

"Chen Pi! You actually set your dorm on fire?!"

Fang Si's voice came through, her tone overflowing with shock.

Isn't that a little too batshit insane? Even for you?

"Uh... Sis Fang Si, it was an accident, an accident..."

Chen Shu rubbed his eyes and explained, "It was all that dumb dog's fault."

"Don't talk about yourself like that!"

"???"

Chen Shu's mouth twitched. "I'm talking about the husky!"

"Sigh, Sis Fang Si... I'm not gonna get expelled, am I?"

Chen Shu was getting genuinely worried now. If he had no school left to attend, wouldn't he just become a street loafer overnight?

"Don't worry, I'll hook you up with a factory job tightening screws later. Four hundred a month, no room and board!"

"Sis Fang Si, I am, after all, a prospective Huaxia Academy freshman..."

"Don't worry about that either. I've got connections — if anyone asks, just say you graduated middle school."

"..."

Chen Shu gave a dry laugh. "Thanks a whole bunch!"

With that, the two ended the call. Chen Shu then received a text message.

"Student Chen Shu, please report to Huaxia Academy's Discipline Office by nine o'clock!"

Chen Shu got himself ready, then threw open the window and bellowed: "Let the storm rage even fiercer!"

One hour later.

Chen Shu arrived at a three-story building. Inside, it was eerily quiet — this was the academy's Discipline Office.

"Oh? Student Chen Shu, is it?"

Right by the entrance, a middle-aged man smiled at him and said:

"Impressive as hell, kid — burning down a building on day one! You've got real prison potential!"[2]

"..."

Chen Shu's mouth opened slightly. "Teacher, you flatter me. I just sort of... stumbled onto this path by accident..."

"Cut the crap. Follow me upstairs!"

The man turned and left. The two of them went up to an office on the third floor.

"Your partners in crime are here!"

The man announced. There were already two people standing in the office.

"Huh? Holy crap!"

Chen Shu looked up and immediately exclaimed, "A'Liang? Wang Jue?"

"It's you?!"

A'Liang's expression jolted just as hard. He hadn't expected Chen Shu to show up.

"You three know each other?"

The middle-aged man's mouth opened slightly. He nodded. "So it's a gang committing crimes together, huh?"

"No..."

The three tried to explain themselves, but the man cut them off immediately.

"A... A'Liang, is it? Your surname is 'A'? You shitting me?"

The man's eyes showed a trace of surprise as he continued:

"Tell me your offense. Why did you tie all three of your roommates to the toilet and force-feed them laxatives?!"

Chen Shu and Wang Jue both turned to stare at him.

You are seriously ruthless, man. Trying to disgust people to death?

"Teacher, I had my reasons."

A'Liang said confidently, "When I first got to the dorm, I enthusiastically wanted to build good relations. I even gave all three of them my business card and told them if anyone gave them trouble, they could come to me — I'd give them a discount."

"But one of them mocked me. Said I was just acting tough. Went on about how a proper college student shouldn't be running shady businesses all day!"

"How could I, A'Liang, let something like that slide?!"

"Stop! Stop!"

The teacher shook his head and cut him off. "So that's your reason for torturing them?"

A'Liang defended himself: "I was also helping strengthen their friendship! The image of them shitting their guts out together — just think about it. That's an unforgettable bonding experience."

"Alright! That's enough!"

The man shook his head. The mental imagery was way too vivid. He couldn't even stomach lunch now.

"Wang Jue, is it? What about you?"

The man then turned his gaze toward Wang Jue.

Wang Jue lowered his head and said quietly, "I just did a little... moving around..."

"The teacher understands the logic, but what the hell do you mean you emptied out the entire dorm?!"

"..."

Chen Shu and A'Liang both looked over. Seriously, man? You pulled this on the first damn day?

"Don't get the wrong idea — I wasn't stealing!"

Wang Jue said, "I always work for pay. I'd never do something like that!"

"My roommate was Yu Yi, and the other two were his bootlickers. The three of them were teaming up to mess with me!"

"So I waited till late at night and emptied out their three rooms! Just to piss them off."

The middle-aged man raised an eyebrow. "So that's why you stripped their underwear off too?"

"??"

Chen Shu and A'Liang's eyes went wide, and they immediately backed several steps away from him.

You're a damn pervert?!

"Uh... no..."

Wang Jue waved his hands, explaining, "My contract spirit did it. I didn't do it personally!"

"Right now, the three of them are running around naked in their rooms... hehe..."

Seeing Wang Jue actually start laughing, the dean's expression hardened, and he glared.

Wang Jue immediately wiped the smile off his face, lowered his head, and kept silent.

"You two are relatively mild — just three roommates filing complaints."

The teacher nodded, then fixed his gaze on Chen Shu. "What's your reason? Who provoked you?"

"I asked around — your three roommates never even met you!"

"Uh..."

Chen Shu coughed and said, "This was actually the dog's doing..."

"I know. Burning down a building on the first day — a human wouldn't do that kind of thing either."

"..."

Chen Shu's mouth twitched. How the hell had this become so impossible to explain?

His eyes darted back and forth as he frantically tried to come up with the right words.

Finally, he carefully crafted a logically coherent story.

But just as he was about to open his mouth, the man cut him off!

"Don't bother. I can already tell you're about to start bullshitting!"

The dean, seeing his expression, didn't want to hear another word out of him.

"I..."

Chen Shu felt a suffocating frustration in his chest, his expression resembling someone fighting severe constipation. You're going way too far, man!

The dean ignored Chen Shu and continued:

"Your roommates have all said that if you three are allowed to keep living there, they're going to file police reports!"

"..."

The three of them fell silent, heads lowered, looking like well-behaved boys.

"Since you three already know each other, you'll be roommates! Just think of it as breeding gu!"[1]

"??"

The three of them raised their heads, mouths agape. What the hell did he mean, "breeding gu"?!

[1] Breeding Gu (养蛊): In Chinese folklore, gu (蛊) is a poison created by sealing multiple venomous creatures — snakes, scorpions, centipedes, and the like — in a single sealed container where they devour each other. The last survivor becomes the most potent poison. As a metaphor, it refers to throwing troublemakers into a confined space together to see who emerges — or what they create. The dean is darkly joking that locking Chen Shu, Wang Jue, and A'Liang in one dorm will either destroy them or produce something uniquely dangerous.

[2] Impressive/Executable pun (刑啊小子, xíng a xiǎozi): A Chinese homophone pun. 刑 (xíng, "criminal penalty/punishable") sounds identical to 行 (xíng, "capable/OK/not bad"). The teacher says something that sounds like "Not bad, kid!" but writes it with the character for "criminal offense" — meaning "That's a criminal offense, kid." Followed by calling Chen Shu a "growth stock for prison" — a stock market metaphor for someone with high incarceration potential.