Chapter 80: Dancing

Chapter 80

“Nice,” Logan commented as they entered the gym.

The room had undergone a complete transformation over the previous twenty-four hours. Various winter-themed decorations were illuminated by multi-colored dance lights, lanterns, and candles that gave everything an otherworldly glow. Tall tables had been set up on one end of the gym while a DJ stood behind sound and lighting equipment on the other. The students who had arrived ahead of them were mostly clustered around the tables, chatting and taking pictures. However, a couple of adventurous couples were already out on the floor.

Sophia’s attention locked onto a blue light floating along one of the walls. Her eyes followed its slow dance as it circled the room. For a moment, her carefully cultivated detachment wavered as she felt a palpable thrill at the possibility of a hunt.

It’s like a small animal. Her muscles tensed in anticipation as the light became a rabbit in her mind’s eye, slowly hopping across a snowy field. Chasing it would be fun, even if I can’t catch it.

Her reverie was broken by a tug on her hand as Logan shifted direction.

“Ah, my friend, Todd, is already here,” Logan told her, pointing to a table with several students around it. “Mind if we hang with him for a bit?”

Sophia felt her excitement fade, leaving a sadness behind. That’s not what humans do, though. She buried both feelings as she looked at Logan and gave a quick nod.

“Awesome!” Logan replied and shifted direction towards the table.

He let go of her hand as they approached and walked up to tap on the back of a tall boy.

“Hey, Todd,” Logan greeted as the boy turned. “How’s it hangin’?”

Huh, there’s something familiar about him; it can’t be his smell…

“Sup, man!” Todd smiled and gave a sharp nod. “Just fine, just fine.” He looked past Logan at Sophia. “Oh, shit, you really came with Wolfgirl! How’s taming her going?”

Tame me? Sophia stared at him. The hell?

“Yep, she’s cool,” Logan hastened to say, looking uneasily at Sophia.

“Hey girl!” An all-too-familiar-looking girl in a red dress standing next to Todd suddenly spoke up with a wide grin. “What a surprise seeing you here! Well, maybe not; we are in the gym.”

Oh, oh no. Sophia’s blood ran cold as she recognized the girl. Okay, okay, be Zen. Don’t let her rile you up.

“Hi Michelle,” Sophia managed weakly. “Yep, I’m here.”

“Wow, I really like your dress; it almost fits well,” Michelle ‘complimented’ loudly, her eyes sweeping over Sophia. “It goes sooo well with that hairband, too! And you’ve just got to tell me who does your makeup and hair!”

Don’t respond. Sophia gritted her teeth while trying to keep her irritation buried. She’s trying to get under my skin.

“What is up with that hairband, Wolfgirl?” Todd broke in. “I had never seen you wear it before this week, and I haven’t seen you with it off since.”

“I’ve asked her, but she hasn’t told me,” Logan said. “I’ll admit, I was surprised to see she still had it on tonight.”

“No reason,” Sophia told them, suddenly uncomfortably aware of the headband. “I just like it.”

“Well, I have got to say it is not exactly a color I would have picked with that dress,” Michelle remarked. “But I’ve heard wolves are colorblind, so I guess we can’t hold that against you.“

Todd laughed, and Logan chuckled a few moments later, trying unsuccessfully to cover it with his hand. Anger seeped out of the bottle Sophia had been keeping her emotions in. Desperately, she channeled the urge to bite the other girl into a glare instead.

“You know I’m just messing with you,” Michelle laughed, flashing an innocent smile.

“Hilarious,” Sophia replied acerbically.

“Come on, you have to admit that was pretty good,” Logan argued.

Shadow would have torn her apart for that. Her anger turned to loneliness as memories she thought she had thoroughly locked away started to slip through. He always respected me.

“How was dinner?” Logan changed the subject after an uncomfortably long silence.

“It was nice,” Todd started to answer. “We went…”

Sophia winced as the speakers suddenly screeched from feedback.

“Hey, young ladies and gents of Woodbury High, how ‘bout we get this romantic evening juiced?” The DJ’s voice echoed through the gym. “Don’t be shy, bring your dates to the floor!”

An upbeat song started playing, and moving multi-colored lights started rapidly crisscrossing the floor, walls, and ceiling. Kids crowded onto the floor and began to dance enthusiastically.

I can’t…! Sophia’s eyes darted frantically around as she tried in vain to fold her ears against the unexpected cacophony. It’s too much!

“Ooh! I love this one!” Michelle announced excitedly as Todd offered his arm to her. “See you out there!”

Logan studied Sophia for a second before raising his hand. “Shall we?”

Stay away from me, two-leg! Sophia bristled and took a reflexive step back, a growl escaping her throat that was thankfully drowned out by the music. No, I’m slipping into thinking like a wolf. I have to be human. She started to raise her own hand.

I remember when I first touched Shadow. He let me touch his nose.

“Um, I need the bathroom,” she mumbled as her resolve failed, diverting her hand awkwardly to her hair. “Next one?”

“Okay, sure,” Logan replied with a shrug, dropping his hand. “Next one.”

Why can’t I put Shadow out of my head all of a sudden? Sophia scurried towards the exit, trying to walk as fast as her heels allowed. I just need to reset. That’s all.

She threaded her way through the other students headed towards the floor, and pushed through the door with a large sign with ‘restrooms’ in cut-out letters hung on it. On the other side, she found the hallway lights had been turned off, with strings of lights along the walls providing illumination. The part of the hallway leading away from the restrooms had been roped off with streamers and balloons.

Her footsteps echoed through the hall as she crossed over to the girls’ room, the music growing muffled as the door closed behind her. Quickly crossing the hall, she pulled open the restroom door and stepped through. The door shut behind her and the sound of music disappeared entirely. Walking further into the room, she went over to a stall and shut the door.

I’ll take a few minutes to get a hold of myself. She leaned against one of the walls and closed her eyes. I should’ve thought to prepare myself better for the lights and music, and I can’t let Michelle get to me. Her breathing became shallower as she let her mind drift. Forget about Michelle, the dance, everything.

At first, her muscles relaxed as the adrenaline from the sensory overload wore off. However, tension started to build again as other sensations came to the fore: The friction and pressure of clothes against furless skin, a body that was shaped all wrong, blindness in her nose, and a painful emptiness in her stomach. But those paled in comparison to the agonizing wound in her soul. A hole that could only be filled by…

Stop thinking of him! Her eyes snapped open, and she felt fear rush in as she registered the enclosed space she was in and the lack of information coming from her nose. My ‘pack’ needs to be human. Intense nausea flooded into her abdomen as she started to hyperventilate. Because I’m supposed to be human!

She quickly bent over the toilet as her stomach heaved, and she threw up what little was in her stomach. Trembling, Sophia knelt in front of the toilet and leaned against the toilet.

I want to die. Let me die. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Please, this hurts so much.

The bathroom door squeaked open, and footsteps echoed through the bathroom.

“Ew, it smells like someone barfed in here,” a girl said aloud. “Oh, there’s someone in here.”

“Are you okay in there?” Another girl asked. “Should we get a teacher?”

Two-legs! Sophia tensed and then shook her head. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it! Taking a deep breath, she found the void and plunged back into it. They’re humans! You’re human!

“I’m okay,” Sophia told the girls, her voice quivering slightly. 

Getting back to her feet, Sophia triggered the sensor to flush the toilet, wiped her eyes, and then stumbled out of the stall. She hurried past the two girls and quickly washed her hands and face. 

Mom would be so disappointed in me right now. Nausea started to rise again, and she quickly clamped down on it. Her daughter can’t even make herself dance with a boy. Before she could lose her nerve, she forced herself out of the bathroom. How hard can it be?

A different song was playing in the gym, this one slower than the earlier one. 

Okay, let’s try this again. Her heels echoed through the hall as she crossed the hall and pulled open the door. Just one dance. She stumbled as she banished a memory of wrestling with Shadow in the snow. STOP!!!

Back in the gym, most of the students were paired off with their dates in a slow waltz. A few remained by the tables, including Logan, who was on his phone at the table where she had left him. 

Alright, I’m going to do it. She started towards him, but her steps faltered as the pit in her stomach returned. Why is this so hard? I don’t have to go out with him after this. 

Logan glanced up from his phone, locking eyes with her, and Sophia’s resolve failed.

This feels wrong. The sick feeling returned to her stomach, and she felt as though she couldn’t breathe. Everything is wrong.

“Sophia!”

Sophia jumped at the sound of her name. She looked around frantically and found Candice striding towards her from the dance floor, a stocky boy following hesitantly a few yards behind.

“You are here!” Candice chirped, opening her arms to embrace Sophia. ”I was starting to worry!”

Sophia hesitated before returning the hug stiffly, anxiously looking around the room. “Hey.”

“Are you okay?” Candice asked with concern, stepping back to examine Sophia. “Did you throw up? You kind of smell like it.”

“My stomach was just a little upset,” Sophia told her dismissively. “It’s nothing.” Looking to change the subject, she eyed the stocky boy who was fidgeting a few yards away. “Is that Mark?”

“Yep!” Candice’s eyes sparkled. “He’s been so sweet tonight, and even took me out for dinner! I’d introduce you to him, but I kind of interrupted our dance just now.” The blonde girl looked around. “Speaking of, where’s Logan?”

Sophia reluctantly pointed towards where he was standing, his face buried back in his phone.

“Well, go get him and dance!” Candice exclaimed, grabbing Sophia’s hand. “What are you waiting for?”

But…! Sophia was forced to follow lest she be dragged off her feet.

When they were a few yards away, Candice stopped and gave a strong tug on Sophia’s arm. “Go ask him!”

Logan finally looked up from his phone as Sophia stumbled towards the table.

“Feeling better?” He asked, sounding slightly exasperated. “You were gone a long time.”

“Sorry,” Sophia apologized weakly, avoiding his eyes. “I…” She glanced over her shoulder at Candice, who gestured encouragingly. “Do…”

Panic seized her, and her voice caught in her throat. Her eyes flitted around frantically before falling on a small plate with a few Hors d'oeuvres on it.

The first time Shadow offered me a rabbit I didn’t know what to do.

“Do I want to dance?” Logan supplied.

“Actually, I think I need to eat something first,” Sophia replied quickly, spying a long rectangular table with several students around it. “I’ll be back.”

She didn’t wait for a response before hurrying away. Candice made a sound of frustration behind her.

I am weirdly hungry all of a sudden. Despite her continued anxiety, she could feel herself trembling from low blood sugar. Shadow always loved catching things for me. A sharp urge to get on all fours accosted her, and she barely resisted. He was going to teach me how to hunt.

At the serving table, she immediately joined the line and eyed the platters of various snack foods.

Fruit, crackers, cheese, oooh, sausage! Her tongue darted out of her mouth towards her nose. When did I get so hungry?

The line moved forward, and she grabbed a plate before going straight to the sausage and cheese platter. Before she could stop herself, she bent down and lowered her nose a few inches above the sausage and cheese platter. As she inhaled, her mouth watered as the smell of salt and umami filtered past the balm. A few spices tickled her nose, but weren’t nearly enough to dissuade her.

That smells really good. She moved towards an isolated stack of sausages. I’ll start with those.

“Uh, is something off with the food?” A male voice startled Sophia.

What? Sophia looked towards the boy who had interrupted her and blushed as she noticed several people in the line staring at her. Oh.

“I, uh, was just checking if it was fresh,” Sophia squeaked, prompting an eye roll from the boy.

So hungry… Grabbing the tongs, she started piling meat and cheese onto her plate.

After making a small mountain on her plate and grabbing a bottle of water, Sophia hurried away from the line, scarfing down several pieces of sausage and cheese as she walked. When she got back to her table, Candice was gone, while Logan was back on his phone. He looked up as Sophia set her plate down.

“I guess you were hungry,” Logan snarked. “There anything left?”

“I didn’t eat much today,” Sophia replied before bending down and lapping up a sausage with her tongue.

I feel like I could eat a whole deer. The last time she had eaten a deer flashed through her mind. Shadow would have let me, too.

“Well, don’t let me get in your way,” Logan commented wryly as Sophia continued to tear into the pile of food on her plate. “You might want to consider dialing things back a bit, though. This is supposed to be a formal occasion.”

What’s his problem? She licked up a few bits of cheese that had fallen out of her mouth. Tone what down?

A piece of sausage started to fall from Sophia’s plate, and her head jerked towards it. It barely had time to hit the table before she had it clenched between her teeth.

Shadow would always clean me up after eating. He was so sweet.

“Damn, Wolfgirl.” The hair on Sophia’s neck prickled at the sound of Michelle’s voice. “Were you raised by wolves? Wait, don’t answer that.”

Sophia looked up to see Michelle and Todd standing at the table, staring at her. Her lips started to form a warning snarl.

They better stay away from my food!

“No, no, don’t stop,” Michelle egged her on with a grin while raising a phone.

What is she… Then comprehension hit Sophia like a freight train. Oh, God, the full moon hunger is hitting.

“She really does act like she believes she’s a wolf,” Todd commented, a look of fascination on his face.

“I…” Sophia stammered, standing straight and awkwardly wiping her mouth with her hand. “I’m…”

“No shame in being who she is,” Logan interrupted, trying to sound supportive, but unable to hide the tremor of excitement in his voice. “If she wants to eat like a wolf, that’s cool with me.”

‘I’m a wolf; I’m meant to be a wolf.’ The declaration to Shadow echoed in her mind.

“Admit it, Logan, you’re hot for this!” Michelle prodded gleefully. “You’re into animals!”

“What? Of course not!” Logan stammered, looking at Todd for support.

“Hey man, I’ve seen some of the art you look at,” Todd smirked. “I’m not one to kink shame, so it’s cool with me.”

“I’m not…!” Logan tried to protest, his face a furious shade of red.

“Hey Wolfgirl, fetch!” Michelle grabbed a piece of sausage off of Logan’s plate and threw it.

Sophia’s eyes automatically tracked the piece of meat as it left Michelle’s hand. Her lips parted as she started to move to intercept as it sailed over the table.

No! With a painful burst of willpower, she managed to override the instinct to go after it.

The piece of meat flew past her and landed on the floor next to a neighboring table.

“Oh, come on,” Michelle taunted. “It’s not like you haven’t eaten off the floor before!”

“Please, stop,” Sophia pleaded.

“Do it for your new boyfriend!” Michelle jeered. “He’d love it!”

‘I want to be your life mate.’ Sophia desperately tried to banish the memory and the sense she was betraying Shadow, but couldn’t.

“Will you lay off?” Logan snapped. “I’m not into… that, and Sophia doesn’t really think she’s a wolf.” Logan looked at Sophia as the music changed. “Come on, Sophia, let’s show them that isn’t us.” He offered his arm to Sophia.

Take his arm. That’s all you have to do.

Sophia swallowed and tried to will her arm to move, but it remained frozen at her side.

‘I’m not human anymore! I’m a wolf!’ Her desperate words to Shadow echoed in Sophia’s mind. But I can still choose to be human. It’s not too late.

Time seemed to slow as memories she had tried to forget over the past week spilled forth.

Take his arm! What am I waiting for?

She remembered how she had come to name him. He had been like a physical shadow silhouetted against the sky, but far more importantly, a constant presence in her mind and soul, a part of her that she hadn’t even known she was missing.

Shadow.

He had always been there for her, even when her own recklessness put them both at risk, even when it cost him with his own family.

He killed my mother!

She tried to believe it, tried to make herself hate him, channeled all her pain and anger into it. But something at the center of her soul remained steadfast, insisting there had to be more to the story, and she couldn’t do it.

Mischievous Nose.

Sophia looked at Logan’s outstretched arm, waiting for her to take it and declare her humanity.

‘I’m a wolf; I’m meant to be a wolf.’ Tears started to stream down her cheeks. ‘And I want to be your life mate.’

“I can’t,” she said at last.

“You can’t?” Logan repeated in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“I’m sorry, but this was all a mistake,” Sophia told him. “I never should have asked you out.”

“So, that’s it?” Logan asked, his arm still hanging in the air. “You’re ending the date?”

Sophia nodded.

“Okay, sure,” he said with a nervous laugh, dropping his arm. “Wow, didn’t even make it through one.”

“I’m really sorry.” Sophia looked at the floor. “I know this is…”

“Honestly, it’s okay,” Logan interrupted, sounding almost relieved. “You’re turning out to be quite a bit more than I was expecting. Well, I’ll see you around, I guess…”

What have I done? The tears continued to stream down her face as she watched him turn on his heel and walk away. 

“What. The. Hell. Was. That?” Michelle asked in stunned disbelief. “I don’t believe this; you just spurned the only guy willing to fuck you in the entire town. Well, enjoy the dogs.”

Sophia tried to lick the tears from her cheeks, but had to resort to wiping them as she started to walk away. Suddenly, she felt a tug on her headband.

“And what is with this ugly ass headband, anyway?” Michelle spat as she yanked the headband off Sophia’s head. 

Anger, loneliness, regret, frustration, shame, grief… All of the agony Sophia had tried to bottle up boiled over all at once as she spun – and turned into pure, murderous rage.

“Your ears…” Michelle said dumbly, her eyes widening.

Two-leg. Kill.

With a snarl, Sophia jumped towards the stunned girl, driving her off her feet and into the table behind her. All three fell to the floor with a crash, with Sophia on top of Michelle. Alarmed voices sounded distantly in Sophia’s ears, but all of her attention was now focused on one thing – sinking her fangs into her enemy’s neck and tearing out its throat.

Kill it.

Beneath her, Michelle screamed in terror, her face contorted in panic as she desperately tried to hold off Sophia. The latter was relentless, though…  and she could sense her opponent getting weaker. Finally, she saw an opening and thrust her open jaws downwards, anticipating the taste of warm, sweet blood.

Kill it!

And then Sophia felt herself being pulled roughly upwards. She thrashed and snapped at the hands restraining her, trying to get back to her mortal enemy.

“Sophia!”

Sophia blinked at the sound of Candice’s voice and stopped struggling. On the floor, Michelle whimpered as she desperately tried to slide herself away, her face white as a sheet.

“Sophia!”

Sophia turned her head to see Candice’s horrified face coming towards her. Then, the hands holding her slackened, and she bolted – out of the gym, out of the school, and into the frozen night.