Imperfect Desires

Xin Zemin and Zhao Huan had rushed back immediately after learning about Xiu's condition. Well, technically, Xin Zemin wasn't able to grasp the situation at all over the phone call. He only heard that his daughter cried and fainted. That was enough to put him in a frenzy.

As soon as he came back, he asked his brother, "What happened?"

Xin Zimen was rubbing his forehead as he replied, "If I knew what happened, I wouldn't be so disturbed right now."

That was the main point here. Zimen himself didn't have a single clue about what went wrong. He clearly could see that Xiu was happily talking to him after her sessions. She even joked around making him laugh out. And he knew she wasn't faking it at that time but then suddenly something went wrong. 

From the moment he saw the trace of blood at the corner of her mouth his heart had jolted and he felt uneasy. His intuition told him that something was wrong and that's why he insisted on calling the doctor to check up on Xiu. But the doctor said nothing was wrong at all with Xiu. However, he knew in his heart that something was wrong.

Even after thinking for the past hour, he couldn't understand why Xiu cried. What exactly went wrong? He really wanted to tear apart whoever made Xiu cry so painfully. It sounded so painfully that it repeatedly broke his heart. He neither could understand the situation at hand nor could he understand the reason behind his own emotional turmoil.

There was a voice in his heart that said he was the reason behind Xiu's tears and that thought alone left his mind in a mess. He was gonna go crazy thinking about all this. He had never felt this conflicted in his life. At least, not since the time he lost the two most important women of his life. Since the time he lost his daughter and his wife, there was hardly a time when he had been so indecisive and conflicted.

Xin Zemin sat down beside his brother and asked again, "I heard you're with her at that time. You must know what exactly happened suddenly."

"Are you saying I did something?" retorted Xin Zimen in annoyance.

"Don't twist my words," said Xin Zemin trying to keep himself calm. "Set aside our personal differences for a while. I know you care about my daughter just as much as I do. Or maybe you have come to care about her more than me." He took a pause and inhaled a deep breath before exhaling it and saying, "Did something make her upset?"

Xin Zimen faced his brother as he replied, "I honestly don't know. She was happy just like her usual self. I don't know why she suddenly started crying and refused to stop. I've tried to calm her down. I've tried to talk to her but I wasn't able to. She just kept crying."

Xin Zemin fell into deep thought, "There has to be a stimulant behind all of this."

"If you find out, please let me know as well," said Xin Zimen and stood up to leave.

"Sit down," said Xin Zemin. "We are talking about Xiu's health here. You better not try to walk out. You can walk out on me all you want but not when we are talking about Xiu."

Xin Zimen didn't argue with him and sat back down. "Let's just wait for her to wake up and give us an answer herself. No matter what conclusion we come to, it won't get us anywhere. Let's not waste time on taking blind shots."

"Is there anything particular you can think about?" asked Xin Zemin still trying to analyze the situation. He really couldn't just wait for Xiu to get up and give him an answer.

Zimen touched his earlobes where his earrings were and thought back to the look on Xiu's face. It really bothered him all of a sudden. Now that he replayed the scene in his mind, he could pick out the smallest details that he had overlooked at that time. For instance, the slight tremble of Xiu's hand when she gave his wallet back to him. 

Why did she react like this? 

....

"How did Xiu fell ill again? Wasn't she doing well these days?" asked Nora as she looked at the faces of Xin brothers and Han Bohai who stood outside Xiu's bedroom. "She even had the time to pull pranks on me. What happened then?"

Xiao Li rubbed a hand over his face as he replied, "The doctor said she received a strong psychological shock. Something stimulated her emotions and that led to this situation."

"Is she doing okay now?" Nora looked at him in worry.

"Her blood pressure has come to normal and her heartbeat is also normal now. But she isn't awake yet," answered Xiao Li.

"What shock did she receive?" asked Nora. "She isn't weak enough to cry over random things. She would never cry before people. That had always been her defense mechanism."

"We are also currently trying to understand what really stimulated her," said Xiao Li.

While Nora was talking to Xiao Li, she had noticed how quiet both Han Bohai and Ah-Si were. And they both seemed lost in their own thoughts. Also, the rims of their eyes were also red. How suspicious!

"Do you both know something?" questioned Nora straightforwardly. Since she found their silence strange, she had to ask them outrightly. 

Both Ah-Si and Han Bohai were startled a little and both noticed a similar abnormality about the other. As if they had a tacit understanding, they replied, "How would we know anything?"

"Han Bohai," Xiao Li called out. "You had been in the room even before we came. Do you really not know what made her cry like that?"

Of course, he knew! He knew it better than anyone around him right now. How could he not know the emotional turmoil in Xiu's head? How could he not understand her conflicting thoughts? And she must have been blaming herself for all sorts of things again as well. He knew just how much Xiu had yearned for a father. And surprisingly, the image of a father she had in her mind was exactly alike Xin Zimen. 

He didn't even know what he was supposed to call this twist of fate.

Back when he had first told Chen Xiu that he missed his father, she had said, 'Aiya! Can you take some pity on me? At least you have memories of your father. I don't even know if I ever had one or not.'

He had retorted with, 'Everyone has a father. You definitely didn't pop out of an egg on your own.'

She had given him a bright smile as she had said, 'You're right. I must have had the most amazing father in the whole world.'

'And how did you come to that conclusion?'

She proudly looked at him saying, 'Because I'm the most amazing one as well. How can my father be any less awesome than I am? I won't accept it!'

He chuckled at her and said, 'So, if your father really is a little less awesome than you, would you really just refuse to acknowledge him as a father?'

Chen Xiu hesitated before saying, 'Well, even if less awesome, still my father. It's alright. I'll just rub off my awesomeness on him.'

He knew she had said all that nonsense just to make him smile again and forget about the loss of his parents. Of course, it worked since he was lured into smiling like a fool along with her. However, behind that cheerful smile, he had always seen the most painful and desperate yearning for a father.

Coming back to the present, he really didn't know how to help his Sister Xiu. The one she yearned for was right before her eyes now but she couldn't even call out to him. She couldn't reach out to him. She couldn't even tell him the truth that sounded inconceivable on its own and adding the twist of how she was occupying the body of her own father's niece, this inconceivable truth became an even bigger mess.

"I'm also not sure," replied Han Bohai after a long pause. "She seemed perfectly fine to me. But the next minute, she broke down."

"That's what I'm worried about," said Xiao Li. "It doesn't make sense."

"I think we all should take a break," suggested Nora. "Since Xiu had cried for so long, she won't be waking up anytime soon. Let's give her mind enough time to solve everything. Because only when she will be able to solve her own thoughts would she be able to wake up to face whatever is bothering her."

"Are you a worm in her stomach? How do you know her so well?" questioned Xiao Li.

Nora offered him a smile, "Because I've seen her doing that before. She would get drunk on purpose, crying her heart out, and sleep her days off. She is just like that."