Imperfect Desires

Around five-thirty o'clock, Xiu organized the things on her desk and turned off the desktop computer. She had just collected her things when the landline on her desk rang. With a dissatisfied frown, Xiu picked up the receiver and held it against her ear.

Before she could say anything, the voice from the other side sent a wave of astonishment through her whole body.

"Hello, can you speak to Mr. Qiu?"

That voice...

She stood motionless while her brain stuttered. Every single part of her felt like someone had put her on a pause mode. She couldn't feel anything except for a dull ache in her heart. Her eyes and mouth were frozen wide open in an expression of stunned shock. 

There were a million things running through her nervous system and yet she couldn't even utter a single word. It was like someone had a hold on her body. An invisible shadow that had caged her in his arms.

Even though she recognized that voice clearly. She always did. But right now, she chose to be in disbelief. Being in denial was better than being in grief. 

"May I know who's speaking?" The words had slipped out of her mouth before she could even stop herself. Why was that? Why was it necessary for her to confirm his identity? She knew his identity. She knew it better than anyone. Or at least, she had the delusion that she knew him better. 

She vaguely remembered that she heard the person's reply. She heard the name which was etched in her memory for too long now. She heard the name which brought out the memory of her broken heart.

"I'm Zhou Jinhai..."

Xiu thought she would cry or break down if he ever came before her again. But why was it that even hearing his voice, all she felt was a dull pain which slowly turned into numbness? There were no tears. She didn't feel like crying at all. Why was it that all he reminded her of was the painful nights she spent crying and the wrenching days, she spent trying to hide her tears behind a fake smile? And it also reminded her that she had wasted enough tears on him.

"Mr. Qiu has left the office," replied Xiu in a haste and hung up the call before she could hear that soft and yet silvery voice. Hearing it once had invoked a strange feeling in her as if a noose had tightened around her neck.

 She fell back on her chair and leaned her head back as she closed her eyes. The first moment she had heard that voice and that name, she remembered it vividly to this day.

*Flashback*

At the peak of her age and her career, Chen Xiu was envied by many. Even within the company, her competition was tough. However, the critics used to say that Chen Xiu was unbeatable. People could imitate her but the perfection of a character could never be imitated like Chen Xiu.

But even being the superstar, Chen Xiu was considered a very gentle and humble person. It wasn't an image she had made, Chen Xiu was a gentle and humble person. She wouldn't get angry easily but when she did, she wouldn't hold back either.

That anger was the reason, she had first met him. She was going to meet the new CEO and on her way, someone bumped into her. Because she was wearing a long gown, her dress came under her heel and she lost her balance.

The man before her extended his hands and like any other person, she tried to hold it. But to her dismay, that idiot had actually extended his hand to catch a toy. A stupid toy was given importance over her and she had landed straight on her buttock. 

"Thank goodness, you're okay," she heard him say and glared at him while groaning in pain.

"How am I okay? My whole body is hurting!" She shouted at him in rage.

Finally, the man noticed the girl sitting on the floor and pursed his lips before saying, "I wasn't talking about you." 

With the help of the couch by her side, Xiu managed to stand on her feet and pointed at him, "You! This stupid toy car is more important than my life?"

"It's not a toy..." Seeing how Xiu narrowed her eyes at his words, he cleared his throat and said, "Oh, you're Chen Xiu, right?"

"So what if I am?" She retorted still staring daggers at him.

The look on his face turned soft as he smiled at her and said, "You're prettier in person." 

"What?" Xiu was dumbfounded by his remark. Was he seriously choosing this moment to compliment her? After what he did, he still had the cheek to say that?

He leaned over to look straight into her eyes and grinned widely. "You're even adorable when you're angry."

"Are you seriously hitting on me right now?" 

His soft brown eyes roamed all over her face making her frown. She even took a step back but because of the couch behind her, she couldn't move any further. 

"Right, I should hit on you in a proper way. I'm Zhou Jinhai. Nice meeting you in person, Goddes Xiu," he extended his hand towards her.

Xiu eyed his fair-skinned hand with a strange expression. But she didn't shake it. Instead, she slapped his hand away saying, "What am I supposed to do with your name? You still haven't even apologized!"

Before he could reply, they heard his secretary's voice, "CEO Zhou, you have a meeting with the executives in fifteen minutes." He nodded his head in acknowledgment and waved her off.

Xiu's eyes became bigger only slightly as she questioned, "You're the new CEO?"

He nodded and said, "Do you still need that apology?"

"Yes, I do. But I feel like I won't be getting any from a snob like you who thinks a toy is important than a human," saying that she purposely bumped into his side and walked off leaving him standing there... Flabbergasted and lovestruck.

*End of Flashback*

Xiu opened her eyes and took her purse to leave the office. If she could, she would really erase that first meeting from not just her memory but also her life. 

"Sorry for making you all wait," seeing her co-workers waiting for her, Xiu apologized sincerely. She felt bad for making them wait just because she wasn't in her right state of mind.

"It's all right, Ms. Bai. You're always working anyway. Let's get going now," another female employee named Gu Luli from the department said and smiled at Xiu.

Xiu was grateful for their understanding and left the office building along with them.