Imperfect Desires

"It's good," Han Bohai said with an earnest look. "I really don't want to see you dwell in the past." He unconsciously touched his shirt's pocket. It made him seem like a thief who was hiding something and Xiu's eyes narrowed ever so slightly at that action, however, she didn't voice it out for now. "It's better if today's happiness makes you forget the pain of yesterday."

Xiu who had poured her heart out before him sincerely was feeling relaxed. She couldn't stop smiling no matter how she tried. It definitely made her look silly but the person beside her didn't mind. He could finally see her genuine feelings, how could he complain about her being silly right now?

"It took me a while to realize that my happiness had always been in my own hands," said Xiu. "I just never noticed it. If I had noticed it before, maybe today would be different." She let her eyes wander around in the room as she went on, "In fact, I don't mind the pain of yesterday as well. That pain introduced me to some of the most beautiful people. Either it's you or my husband, I'm connected to you both because of that pain. So, I naturally don't mind it at all."

Han Bohai was surprised to hear that as he inquired, "You really don't mind it at all?"

Xiu shook her head immediately, "Not at all! I just think to get the blessings of today, I had to pay a price. They say love isn't cheap. I'll just consider that I had to pay with my life to achieve my true love. Although the price was hefty, however, trust me it was worth it."

"You really love him that much?" Han Bohai couldn't help asking.

Xiu grinned at him, "I do! I really do! With him around, I don't have to hide anything. I don't have to fake a smile because my smile would always be real when he is around. I just can't help myself falling deeper in love whenever I look at him. There is only one flaw with him."

"What is it?" he was really interested in hearing about it.

"He always gives in to what I say," she replied.

"Isn't that a good thing?" he retorted.

"Not necessarily," she answered with a complicated look in her eyes. "Although I love him to death! I'd still like it if he said no to me more often. But it's okay. I'm slowly training him well."

"How did you even fall in love with him?" 

Xiu could practically see his curiosity burning through his eyes. But she was more than happy to go along with this discussion. She would never back off when it came to bragging about her husband.

"I just did," she replied. "His grey eyes just sucked my soul in and now, it's trapped with him."

"Why do I feel like you're showing off?" 

Xiu chuckled, "Because I am!" She didn't try hiding her intention or concealing it before him. The Xiu, before him, was guileless. She was her very real self that didn't have to put up a front. She was just herself. And her real self never needed reasons to justify her feelings. "Do you know I used to think I can justify my emotions but it turned out, I never needed a reason to fall in love. It just happened with the person it was bound to happen. And because I fell so deep that I had to tell him honestly. Being honest is the basic respect you can give your partner who is entrusting you with his heart. How could I be dishonest with him?"

Han Bohai wasn't even surprised to hear those words. He just naturally agreed with her words. 

"You're making me envious again," he stated.

Xiu ruffled his hair, "Xiao Bobo, do you know how many times I've heard that already?" Han Bohai raised his brows at her. "Everyone around me has at least once told me how they are envious of my relationship with Regan."

"Well, you gave them enough reasons to be envious," said Han Bohai. "Have you ever looked at your face when you talk about your husband? It's enough to make someone choke on sugar! That's how sickening sweet it is!"

"Wanna hear some ironic?" 

"What?"

"There is someone my husband is envious of."

"Huh? Who?" Han Bohai was intrigued.

"You!" she replied leaving him dumbfounded. 

"Me?" He pointed at himself. "What do I have that he wants?"

Xiu shook her head lightly, "He is envious of the relationship you have with me." Han Bohai went silent as she went on, "He really wishes to take your place and be with me at the time where I only had you to lean on. He also thinks you understand me better than anyone else." She gave him a sweet smile, "And I agree with him. I don't think just anyone could handle a person like me whose mental health is questionable till this day!"

Han Bohai narrowed his eyes at her, "Even though your mental health was questionable, you're someone who managed to leave an impact on other's lives including me. And I believe, you had the same impact on your husband's life as well." His eyes dimmed down as he told her, "The first time I saw her was when I went to the hospital after hearing about..." He couldn't bring himself to add, 'death.' Licking his lips, he added, "He looked more lifeless than your cold body. He was sitting frozen on his chair without moving at all. His body and his clothes were stained with your blood. In fact, it looked like he was the one who was gravely injured."

Xiu had never heard about this before so she was momentarily blank. She didn't know what to say as she listened to him.

"You know it was strange seeing such a big man trembling all over as if he lost his whole world and it didn't take me to realize that he really considered Chen Xiu as his whole world."