Imperfect Desires

"But what if I want you to blame me?" came Dylan's low voice.

Darren stared at him and snorted, "What's the point? Will it turn back the time or will it solve everything magically? Do you really think just because you decided to hide, everything will solve on its own? Aren't you just being a coward again?"

Dylan sneered at himself, "Haven't I always been a coward?"

"No!" answered Darren. Dylan was left in shock at the tone of his voice. "To me, you've never been a coward. You're always there when I needed you! But this time, you chose to disappoint me!"

Dylan felt something twisting inside his heart, what could he say to him? He had disappointed himself as well. He didn't plan to drag this for so long but it eventually turned out in this way. He took one step back and suddenly found himself a mile away from Darren. With each passing day, the distance only grew bigger and he was tired of running already. 

There was so much going on in his life. But even when he was sleep-deprived, he still chose to come every night to check up on Darren. Caring about him and being with him were two different things. He knew that too! But what could he do?! He had been feeling helpless all this while!

"For the first time in my life, I do want to blame you for something," said Darren. "The brotherhood, the friendship I was so proud of all my life... I didn't know you would forget it so easily and choose to hide from me. Even if you love to play hide and seek, do you have to play it with me? It's not like you didn't know I'd to wait for you here."

"I didn't wish to do it," replied Dylan in a heavy tone. "You have no idea how much I missed you. You have no idea how lonely I have been feeling!"

"And even then you didn't come to me?" 

"How long can I run to you, Dazi?" he questioned. "Whenever things got hard, I've been running to you. I always did that. No matter what bothered me, I always ran to you. Even if I had an argument with mom, I'd still run to complain to you."

"So this time, you decided to try something different by running away from me. Splendid decision! How smart! Why am I feeling such pride?" One could hear Darren's sarcasm loud and clear. "Right now, I should call my wife inside to teach you a good lesson! Maybe she might be able to knock some sense into your empty brain!"

"You want her to unleash the might of her bat on me?"

"Oh, I'd love to see that," retorted Darren.

Dylan lowered his head, "I can't even face her right now."

"DYLAN!" shouted Darren making Dylan flinch. "Come here! I promise I won't kill you!"

"You don't sound very sincere right now," said Dylan cautiously.

Darren glared at him, "Don't make me angry! You of all people should know what will happen if I really got angry right now."

Dylan gulped down his saliva. It felt difficult to do so with Darren's gaze on him. Of course, he was familiar with Darren's anger. His ever so gentle best friend rarely got angry but when he did, it was never a pretty sight. However, he had never feared his anger before because he knew no matter how much angry Darren would be, he'd never do anything to him.

Today, however, as he walked towards Darren, his heart was beating furiously. He was scared to put it simply. There was no way around it. The tense atmosphere in the room was suffocating. The aura emanating from Darren's body was even more stifling. The look in Darren's eyes was plain scary.

In the end, he lowered his head and stood beside Darren's bed obediently. He had nothing to say. Even if Darren really unleashed his anger, he wouldn't complain. He deserved it! He hated himself for not being there for Darren. So, he really deserved it now!

Darren looked at Dylan's closed eyes and his trembling hands that he had clasped before him in a respectful posture. He couldn't help shaking his head. Lifting his hand, it landed right on Dylan's head. But rather than calling it a hit, it was more like a pat.

Dylan was taken aback when Darren messed up his hair saying, "I really wished to pummel you to death for betraying me but I still can't bring myself to do it!"

Dylan's tears pour down his eyes like a stream as he said, "When did I betray you?"

"This is the biggest betrayal of my life!" retorted Darren. "I expected my best friend to be here with me. I trusted in you and you let me down! Isn't it betrayal?!"

Dylan could only nod, "I'm sorry! I thought if I showed up I'd only make the matters worse."

"Of course, you'd think that way!" Darren shot back. "You never considered my feelings."

Dylan leaned down and hugged Darren, "I'm so happy to see that you're fine now."

"Who said I'm fine?"

"If you have the energy to shout at me, you're definitely fine now!" said Dylan.

Darren rubbed his head saying, "My anger is fueling my strength." He smacked the back of Dylan's hand making him groan as he added, "Since you feel guilty for putting me here, I'm gonna use this guilt of yours to squeeze your life from now!"

"Is this Xiu's effect? Why are you turning evil?"

"When was I nice?" 

Dylan nodded his head, "That's also true. You have never been nice." He sighed out, "And yet everyone just assumes you're a nice person."

Darren pushed Dylan away slightly and looked at his face saying, "Ugly! I'm ashamed to call you my friend with such an ugly face. Even I look better than you and I'm a patient right now!"

Dylan touched his face, "I just shaved my beard. How is it still ugly?"

"Maybe the fault lies with this face of yours."

Dylan glared at Darren for that remark while the latter didn't even spare a glance to that look on his face.