Imperfect Desires

"Han Yiheng's nephew..." said Su Xixi as her eyes were trained on Han Bohai's face. "You don't look like his nephew."

"Mom! I was talking!" 

"Yeah. Yeah. Whatever!" was Su Xixi's offhandedly reply as she didn't even move her eyes away from Han Bohai's face to spare her own daughter a single glance. Her eyes narrowed slightly when she noticed how Han Bohai looked back at her with a blank gaze. He didn't seem intimidated by her aura. How amusing! Her lips curled up ever so slightly as she said, "Interesting. You're more interesting than I heard about you."

"Mom, did you do a background check on him?" asked Ying unhappily.

Su Xixi took a step back as she said, "Do I have to?" She finally looked at her daughter's face as she added, "Your boyfriend is a public figure. Apparently, most of his life is like an open book already."

"So what? You believe everything you see on the internet?"

Su Xixi mentally rolled her eyes at her daughter, "I'm not like you. I neither believe what the internet has to say nor do I believe what people have to say. I only believe in what I learn myself. Others opinions can't mess up with my own understanding."

....

"You have a lot to say to your brother, how come you have nothing to say before Su Xixi?" questioned Xin Zemin as he followed his brother to the kitchen. "And here you are even making tea for her. Personally! Why is she getting this privileged treatment when you can't even talk to your own brother straight?"

"There is a huge difference between her and my brother," replied Xin Zimen. "Although she is irritating, I respect her."

"What about me?" questioned Xin Zemin. "You can't even offer me some respect? I don't even deserve that from my brother?"

"Then you should have done a better job at being a brother," shot back Xin Zimen. "Instead of trying to become the best son, you should have tried to be a good brother as well!"

Xin Zemin was left with no way to refute. He indeed tried to be the best son all his life. But he thought if he'd be the best, his brother would be able to live a carefree life. He thought if he took all the responsibilities, his brother would be able to live however he wanted. He let himself be caged in responsibilities to give freedom to his brother. 

How was he supposed to know that his brother would drift apart from him in this way? If he knew it, he'd have never taken left his brother alone.

"I'm indeed not a good brother," said Xin Zemin. "But can't you forgive me for not being a good brother?"

Xin Zimen took a deep breath and said, "I can't. You and I can't be the brothers you want us to be." He took a pause and added, "But I'll try to be cordial with you."

....

"Why do I feel like you just called me dumb?" questioned Ying to her mother.

"Did you just realize it?" her mother shot back leaving Ying gapping at her in disbelief.

"Mom, no one insults their own kid," said Ying. "I'll rebel against you if you continued to treat me like this. I'm warning you!"

Su Xixi tutted at her, "My dear daughter is so dumb that she still hadn't realized that she had lived her whole life as a rebel. Do you really think these warnings of yours are gonna work on me?"

"Stop preaching the kids and sit down already!"

Su Xixi turned her head to look at Xin Zimen and frowned, "Were you already waiting for me with freshly brewed tea? How come you came back so soon?"

"None of your concern," retorted Xin Zimen. "Just drink it already."

Su Xixi shook her head and sat down as she took the cup of tea. She looked around and questioned, "Where is my Ah-Li?"

"He went to get something," replied Xin Zimen. "He'll be back soon."

Ying laughed out, "See? Your Ah-Li didn't even wait for you. Unlike me! I've been waiting at the door for you!"

"He doesn't waste time like you," retorted Su Xixi. Then she looked at Han Bohai and asked, "Is your girlfriend allowed to jump around like this?"

"No," replied Han Bohai plainly. "The doctors asked her to rest as much as possible."

Su Xixi pointed at her daughter, "Is she resting?"

Ying held Han Bohai's hand as she said, "You can simply tell me that you have something to talk to Zizi. I'd gladly leave. I have no interest in eavesdropping on you both."

After she left, only then did Xin Zimen point out, "Aren't you acting strange with Ying?"

Su Xixi shrugged her shoulders, "When I tried to be a good mother, she always ran away from me. From the time, I've started acting like the bad mother, she's been the one running after me."

Xin Zimen's lips twitched, "You're scary! Who plays such games with their own kids?"

"If she can play games with me, she'd know that I brought her to this world. I'm even better at this game than she can ever be." She looked at someone and called out, "Xin Zemin!"

Xin Zemin turned his head to look at her in question.

"Congratulations! I heard you have a daughter now!"

Xin Zemin's eyes narrowed at her words and instead of leaving, he came to her side. He sat down with them as he continued to look at Su Xixi suspiciously, "You knew about my daughter?"

Taking a sip of her tea, Su Xixi lifted her brows, "And why would you think like that?"

Xin Zemin looked at his brother, "Wasn't she Wen Ai's best friend?" his brother nodded in reply. "And didn't Wen Ai share everything with her?" His brother nodded once again. Xin Zemin looked back at Su Xixi as he went on, "Since she shared everything with you, how am I supposed to believe that you're oblivious to it all?"

"And if I still insist that Wen Ai didn't share anything regarding this with me?" 

"I don't believe it," said Xin Zemin with conviction.

Xin Zimen was silent for a moment as he looked at his brother and then he looked at the calmness on Su Xixi's face. He frowned a little before voicing out, "Xixi, you really didn't know, right?"

"You also don't want to trust my words?" asked Su Xixi.

"It's not that I don't want to trust you. Lately, I can't even seem to trust my own shadow," said Xin Zimen very honestly. "As for this matter, I also think Wen Ai wouldn't hide such a big matter from you."

"It's true that Ai would share everything with me," sighed out Su Xixi. "But that doesn't mean I knew about any of this. She didn't hide anything from me as long as it concerned her own self."

"So, you really didn't know about Xiu's existence?" asked Xin Zimen.

Su Xixi heaved a long sigh before saying, "I knew about the whole surrogacy thing." Xin Zimen's brows jumped up. "But only after everything had been done." She thought about something before adding, "But she never told me that in that accident, only Xiulin died. She told me that Xin Zemin's daughter was also gone. By that 'gone', I thought she meant she was dead. But it seems she didn't mean it like that."

"Why would she hide such a thing from even you?" asked Xin Zemin. "Did she really not want me to meet my daughter ever again?" Xin Zemin didn't continue when he saw his wife coming to join them.

"Xiao Zi, tell someone to keep checking on Ah-Si," said Zhao Huan as she sat down. "He seems to have stomach spasms as well. It seems he is under a lot of stress."

"Stress?" Xin Zimen frowned. "Why is he in stress?"

 "That is something you should ask him," said Zhao Huan. "He didn't tell me anything. And I don't think he will."

Su Xixi's eyes were following Zhao Huan from the moment she came. She crossed her legs and leaned back as she asked, "What about you, Zhao Huan?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"Why don't you tell me what I'm curious about?" 

Zhao Huan frowned at her, "And what are you curious about?"

Su Xixi exhaled a long breath as she placed the cup down and leaned back in the chair, "How or why did you suddenly think of looking for Carina Novell? How did you know Carina Novell had a daughter of your husband?"

"I've already said it," began Zhao Huan. "It was because of the message I saw in Zemin's phone that made me suspicious. That's why I looked for her."

Su Xixi smiled at her strangely, "Someone like you so easily became suspicious of her husband's loyalty? Why does it not sound believable?"

"What are you trying to do here?" asked Xin Zimen. 

Su Xixi looked carefully at Zhao Huan and said straightforwardly, "I want her to tell the whole truth. I want her to come clean!"