Imperfect Desires

Xiu had always loved gifts. The mystery of wrapped gifts always made her excited like a kid. She really wanted to open the one that Darren gave her but she held herself back because of the promise. But when she thought about the promise again, she felt despondent. 'I don't think happiness is anywhere in my life. Does that mean I'll never get to open this gift? Urgh! I should re-negotiate the terms of this promise.' 

With those thoughts, she placed the gift in a cabinet in her room. For the first time, Xiu felt like this gift wasn't just wrapped in a gift paper, it was actually wrapped in a wish. A wish for her happiness. That thought was weird but her heart was inclined on believing that. With a long sigh, she fell down on her bed again planning to sleep for the rest of the day.

She was thinking about the clue that Darren gave her. Something she asked for? But what did she ask for? She tried to remember but instead of the memory, her headache was coming back. So, she decided to just give up. Let the mystery stay as a mystery. A tiny little devil on her left shoulder was checking her nails as she said, 'Grapes are really sour.' 

Xiu felt like punching that tiny thing. Okay, she was giving up because she could remember, but did she have to point it out like this?! 

"Xiu!" Nora entered her room and sat beside her on the bed. "What do you think about Darren?"

"What? What am I supposed to think? He's a nice man. Nicer than anyone I've ever met. Wait, he's the second nicest person in my." Xiu rephrased her words as a certain person came to her mind out of the blue.

"Who's first?" Nora asked curiously.

Xiu turned her face away saying, "Definitely not you." 

"You!" Nora picked up a pillow and hit it on Xiu's head. "I'm so nice to you and I'm still not at the top?"

Xiu sat up and faced Nora with a serious face, "Look, Nora. I know you're really nice. But the person on the top of my list is someone nobody can compete with. Sorry!"

Nora didn't push this matter as she could see that Xiu looked really serious. "Anyways, why are you nice to Darren?"

"What do you mean?" Xiu placed the pillow in her lap and supported her face on her hands.

"I mean, I know Darren is nice as a person. But you... You certainly can't be described as a nice person." Nora spoke honestly without sugar-coating her words as always.

Xiu thought about what she just said. She indeed wasn't nice as Bai Xiu. Chen Xiu was the one described as a good girl. As Bai Xiu, she had already changed that image of a good girl to a cold devil. But then why was she nice to Darren? The answer to this question was simple, Darren saw her when she was crumbling again from inside, he heard her lies at the hot spring. He always saw her most embarrassing states and yet he never really laughed at her. 

And how many people were there in the world who would actually lend you a hand when you fell instead of laughing at you? In Xiu's life, Darren was the third person who offered her a hand. The second was Nora and first was someone really special to her.

She knew in her heart that she must have hurt that person with her suicide and that's why she was really sorry to him. And he was the only one who made her feel sorry. Because he was also the only one who used to see the real her, 'Goddess Xiu is hiding her tears in the rain. Do you think you can fool me like the rest of the world?' 

And Xiu knew in her heart that she really couldn't fool him. Even when he was thousands of miles away from her, he always knew her heart better than herself. He once told her, 'Ah-Xiu, people don't lose in love. They either break down or shatter away. And the ones who are left, they wear an eternal silence of solitude. So, don't play with your feelings.' 

Xiu used to make fun of him saying, 'You're philosophical, Homie! But don't forget, my heart only knows how to love. It really doesn't understand your words. If I fail, I'll love even more because that's all I know.'

But now that Xiu looked back in life, she could say that he was right. She didn't lose in love. She was left broken and alone. 

Seeing Xiu zoning out, Nora shook her a little. "Ha? Oh, what were you saying?" Xiu asked again.

"I'm asking why are you so nice to Darren? Just because he's nice to you?" 

"Nope! Because he's honest with me. He doesn't say words to please others. He says what he feels is right. Yes, his words do hurt at first but at the end of the day, he can't be considered wrong. That's what I like about him that he speaks his heart out without caring about, 'What people will say or think?' Also, it's an established fact now that he is a gentleman with good manners. Somehow, he really shows that an admirable woman raised him."

Nora was stunned speechless seeing Xiu praising someone in this many sentences. A girl who barely said good to someone was actually praising Darren for a whole two minutes? It was a huge feat for an anti-social person like Xiu.

Nora patted her head and said, "I'm glad that you're actually trying to be friendly with someone who is not me."

"I should drink to that," said Xiu making Nora glared at her. 

"You didn't learn your lesson last night?" 

Xiu hugged Nora saying, "Nora darling, I learned my lesson. I've been calling myself an idiot from the moment I woke up. But... Let's face it, I just love calling myself an idiot. I can only do that when I'm suffering from hangover and hangover comes from being drunk. So..."

"Stop right there!" Nora interrupted her as she said, "Don't try to trick me with your stupid, illogical logic. It's exasperating. I'm not letting you drink and that's final. Go to sleep if you want to."

Xiu pouted for a second, before pushing Nora off her bed and getting under the duvet saying, "Okay. Goodnight then!" 

Nora was left staring at her unbelievingly. This girl was really... Argh! Stomping her foot, Nora left her room. If she stayed a minute more, she was gonna strangle Xiu for sure.