Imperfect Desires

"I had to give you this surprise that's why I went shopping with Ah-Xin to buy the diary and color pencils. Also, I bought a new dress for myself because apparently, I can't fit in the old one now. I've had been wearing loose clothes and didn't realize that I won't fit in any of my body fitted clothes anymore."

Xiu happily detailed him about her day and what she did, what she ate, where she went, and so on. And as always he listened patiently. See? This was the wife that he had been missing. The one who could talk for hours. That earlier silent version of hers was too freaky for him.

Xiu was snuggled up against Darren's bosom as she thoroughly told him about the doctor's instructions. "I was in total disbelief when the doctor told me the news. I even stubbornly kept on saying that I had no pregnancy symptoms. When I mentioned my cramps, she looked worried before taking me for the ultrasound."

"Then what did she say?"

Xiu waved her hand offhandedly, "She said it must be because the uterus is expanding because the fetal is healthy. There is no problem."

Darren breathed a sigh of relief as his fingers trailed through her hair gently.

"Also, Ah-Xin said I'm very lucky that I haven't had any morning sickness yet. Because his wife had to suffer a lot during her first pregnancy." Xiu involuntarily shuddered before adding, "Anyway, apart from fatigue, sleepiness, excessive hunger and cramping, I haven't felt anything."

"Sweets..."

"Hm?"

"How are you feeling?" With his overwhelmed emotions he completely forgot to ask her the most important question. He knew about her resistance towards kids but now...

"I'm great as always," she replied happily.

Darren looked down into her eyes with a serious look, "You know what I'm asking. Don't try to joke your way through it."

Xiu sighed out, "Can you guess what was the first thought that came to my mind after my pregnancy was confirmed?"

"...That you don't want to be a mother?" His eyes didn't dare look straight at her as he stated his own guess. Xiu held his face in her hands and made him look up while shaking her head.

"Nope, the first thought in my mind was... I want to eat a brownie."

"What?!"

Xiu chuckled at him, "I'm sorry but it seems like this little tiger in my stomach is too fond of food. Because I even forgot my resolve and actually thought that I should name this kid, 'Brownie'."

Darren was still staring at her face in complete disbelief. Xiu had expected that reaction. After all, she was surprised herself that she'd have such a reaction to the news of her own pregnancy. She completely shocked herself when her heart didn't feel restless after knowing the news. But instead felt like it found a missing warmth. 

Although it wasn't something she had planned, whatever trepidation her heart had was also gone when she saw Darren's happiness. For the first time, she realized that apart from her love, devotion, and care, she could also give him something else. She could give him a baby that belonged to them. And that thought helped in easing her nerves and made her relax.

"I think it's not the baby who is hungry all the time, it's baby's momma who is looking for excuses to eat."

Xiu hit his chest with a scowl, "I don't need excuses to eat. I just need anything to eat." She took a brief pause before adding, "Oh and I've decided to finally get a house."

"Yes, I agree. We should get a house before the baby comes to this world."

Xiu rolled her eyes, "Not because of the baby. It's baby's momma who wants a house now." While Darren raised his brow, she scrunched up her face saying, "Aiyo! Until today, I was just an old soul, and now calling myself baby's momma makes me feel plain old."

Darren laughed at her words and pinched her nose adorably. 

"We should tell mama about this. She'd be over the moon."

Xiu nodded her head agreeably, "Yes, she'd over the moon and that's why we should personally go to see her. Telling her over the phone won't be a good idea."

"That's true," agreed Darren.

"Actually, we should surprise her," suggested Xiu.

"Hm? What do you have in mind?" asked Darren as he looked at her expressions. It was quite obvious that something was going on in that head of hers. She was definitely up to something again. But he didn't dissuade as always. After all, if she made him cry so easily, he'd love to see his mother's reaction as well. "Should we just give the diary to her as well?"

"I don't reuse my surprises," replied Xiu haughtily. "Besides, this diary is not even for you. This is truly a journal meant for the baby. Also, with my brain, I can concoct a lot of ideas."

"Of course, you can. So, what's the plan?"

Xiu smiled at him mysteriously as she said, "Next week, I've another doctor's appointment. I'd tell you the plan after that."

"Why so mysterious?" inquired Darren.

"Because my husband can't keep any secrets from his mama."

"Oh." That was all he could say in reply because he couldn't refute her words. He indeed was really bad at keeping secrets from his mother. But this time, he had to hold it in at any cost because he wanted to surprise his mother in a way that'd leave her speechless.

After a moment of silence, Xiu suddenly asked, "Regan, you're happy right?"

"Is there a doubt?" he retorted.

Xiu shook her head, "No."

He caressed her head, "For me, it's more important to know whether you're happy or not?"

"Honestly speaking, I wasn't at first," she replied very honestly and it didn't even surprise Darren. "But now I am."

"What changed?" asked Darren with a frown.

Xiu's lips curved up slightly as her eyes softened.