Imperfect Desires

What greeted Darren was an ultrasound picture and right beside it, a chibi baby was drawn who had a text bubble over his head saying, 'Hi! I'm Little Tiger and this is my very first picture.'

Darren's eyes looked over at Xiu who was constantly observing the changes in his expressions. She looked so relaxed and tranquil.

'I'm a healthy fetal of five weeks. But mommy says I'm tinier than a rice grain. But that's only because I haven't grown up yet. As the doctor said, I'm growing up well. I won't be this size for long.'

With trembling hands, he turned the page and found a cutout of his own picture pasted along with Xiu's, and the words written underneath was, 'This is my mom and dad. They look good together, right?' Darren couldn't help chuckling when he read that sentence. 'Mommy said dad was crying after seeing my first picture. I don't believe her but dad says mommy is never wrong. So, you never know...' 

At that moment a teardrop fell on the page as if to prove that said 'Mommy' was never wrong indeed. 'I'll continue to share my journey with you. Look forward to it.'

Darren closed the diary and looked at Xiu who sat up straight. "Is there something unclear?"

"It-It's our baby, right?" Darren's voice was hoarse for some reason as he stepped closer to her.

"Or else? Did it fell from the sky?" retorted Xiu.

Xiu stood up and patted his shoulder saying, "Although it looks ugly... But it's still ours."

Darren laughed at her while she wiped his tears and he said, "How can you say it's ugly? You can't even make out a shape yet."

"Since I can't make out a shape, I'll call it ugly," replied Xiu nonchalantly. As Xiu held his hands, she realized that his whole body was shaking. Maybe it was her illusion but she could even hear his heartbeat. That has to be her illusion! "Will you stop crying? Your baby will call you a crybaby in the future."

Darren couldn't stop himself from looking at her face. As if she was the most beautiful in the world and he didn't dare peel his eyes off of her. "Who told you to write that in the diary?"

Xiu shrugged her shoulders saying, "I don't know I just knew you'd tear up and I wanted our baby to know that his father is a softie."

Darren pulled her in his arms and embraced her tightly. "It sounds surreal."

"What?" she asked in a muffled voice.

"The way you said 'our baby'," replied Darren making Xiu's lips curve up. "And why did you name it, little tiger?"

"Didn't I tell you there is a hungry little tiger in my tummy always asking for food? See? I wasn't wrong! This little devil sure knows how to eat."

The more she grumbled over this, the more Darren's heart felt sweet inside. This feeling bubbling inside of him was not only new but it was completely overwhelming as well. He didn't know what to say or what to do. So, he chose to silently embrace her in his arms.

The reason why Xiu chose this way to share this news was simple; she wanted to see this flustered look of his. If she said it out, the impact wouldn't be as beautiful as it was right now. And she needed to see this happiness of his to assure herself mentally that everything was okay. Everything was going to be alright with him around as always. 

Darren suddenly helped her sit down and said, "Sweets, you stay here. There is no need to even move. I'll wash the dishes. And..." he frantically looked around while she rolled her eyes. "From now, you don't have to cook. No, you shouldn't even be in the kitchen. It's dangerous."

"How is it dangerous?" she wondered as she held her forehead in her hand.

"There are knives, there is fire and... Well, it's dangerous. So, leave it all to me."

Xiu held his hand and pulled him down to sit beside her. "Dear husband, I accept that I'm lazy. Yes, I can be called the queen of laziness but there are still somethings I like to do myself. Cooking happens to be one of those things. Because I love to eat now."

"But I can make anything you want," he replied.

"I don't want you to."

"Why not?"

"Because you like making western cuisine. I'm a patriotic person. I love my local cuisine. It's my pride!"

Darren narrowed his eyes at her stupid reason and she cleared her throat.

"If you won't let me do anything, I'll start rusting."

"Who said you won't do anything?" Xiu looked at him suspiciously. "We'll go for doctor's appointments. We also have to attend parents' classes. Also, we have to go for walks. There is so much to do for you."

Xiu laughed in a way that didn't sound like laughter. She felt mortified.

"I knew you'd do this. Can you please remember that I'm not a paper-doll? I'm not as fragile as you think I am." Xiu felt like she needed to remind him that since he seemed to be forgetting it right now.

Darren hugged her side saying, "I know how strong my wife is. But I'm your husband. I can't help worrying about you. Besides, I know how you take care of yourself. If you did the same with the baby then we'd be in trouble. Serious trouble. And I don't want that."

"Who said I don't take care of myself? Do you know how much I've gained in the last two weeks?" she jutted her chin out proudly but decided to hide the fact that the doctor still said she was underweight. If she even let a peep out, she'd be seriously in trouble. But it wasn't something she could hide because eventually, Darren was gonna meet the doctor and know the truth. 

"You gained weight? Why can't I see it?" was Darren's reply which made Xiu feel like it was no point even lying to him. 

"Maybe you need glasses," said Xiu.

"Oh, or maybe I need a magnifying glass."

Xiu was stumped for words. Okay, husband! You win!