Imperfect Desires

*Flashback Continued*

Xiu found herself in a maze with a looming fear and wrenching pain that was clenching her insides. She kept running and running and running... Only to found a dead-end... One after another. Her path was lost. She was lost.

Beads of perspiration trickled down her face like water. She felt tired, her legs were giving up on her. The maze was made of mirrors. Mirrors that reflected her pitiful past reminding her of her own demise. She wanted to run away. She didn't want to look at those faces filled with scorn for her. She didn't want to see the disgust in those pair of eyes.

She squatted down and buried her head in her knees, letting her tears stain her beautiful face. Her shoulders were shaking because of the sobbing.

Suddenly, she felt someone touch her shoulder and lifted her head to see a teenage girl smiling back at her. Xiu looked in those honey-brown eyes with intrigue. They seemed to be pulling her in.

The girl offered her hand to Xiu and she spent a long time staring at that hand with curiosity. When was the last time someone offered her a helping hand? But the warmth in those eyes managed to give her some courage. Xiu lifted her hand reluctantly and held that soft hand that was offered to her.

The young girl pulled Xiu along and slowly those painful memories in the rows of mirrors started fading away. It didn't take long before Xiu saw a bright light at the end of the maze.

The warm girl stopped at the last step and when Xiu looked back at her in question. She pushed her lightly and her lips moved to say, "Don't give up!"

With a jolt, Xiu opened her eyes to find herself in an unfamiliar place yet again. But this time, it was a hospital room. The beeping sound of the machines seemed to be echoing in her mind. The earlier scene was just a dream. She heaved a sigh of relief with that thought.

Xiu's mind was going through a splitting headache. It was like something was trying to invade her mind but there was a force stopping it. She held her head with her hands and hissed in pain as the needle on her hand was pulled slightly.

"Today, in the West Lake Cemetry, Superstar Chen Xiu was cremated. People's Pure Goddess had committed suicide last week when she jumped down the balcony of her bedroom." The newscaster's voice reached Xiu's ear as she sat dumbstruck on the hospital bed. The voice was coming from the tv in her hospital room. "There was no suicide note found in her apartment but the Police stated that Ms. Chen's last Weibo was her suicide note. However, that handwritten note was also not found in her apartment even after the extensive search."

Xiu's mind was fazed as the newscaster's words registered in her mind. Yes, she committed suicide. Then why is she here? She looked at her hands and feet before dashing toward the bathroom.

As her eyes fell on the reflection of the young girl, her eyes widened up. The girl she saw in her dream, was staring back at her now through that mirror. Splashing cold water on her face, she hesitantly lifted her eyelids to gaze back her own reflection again.

"How is this even possible? I jumped because I wanted to die, why am I even here?" She mumbled to herself in exasperation. "Maybe, I'm still dreaming?" Thinking this, she pinched herself and yelped in pain. "Ow!" Rubbing the spot she grumbled, "This is so not a dream!"

But this felt like a nightmare. She was a professional and renowned actress. Playing other characters had been her job but right now, even she couldn't accept this. How ridiculous it was that she was resurrected? And that too in someone else' body! The question that bugged her conscious was; why? She died with many regrets but so what? That couldn't be a good enough reason for this bizarre phenomena.

Also, the main question was; Who is this girl?

But no matter how hard Xiu tried to remember, except for a splitting headache, she felt nothing. Wasn't all the transmigration novels stated that the new soul would get the previous owner's memories? Then why was she not able to recall anything?

She propped her elbows on the marble basin and supported her face as she kept staring at the adorable girl in the mirror. She died at the age of 23 and now, she was back to being an 18-year-old.

Was she meant to be stuck with her own miserable and painful memories? But how was she supposed to have a new beginning with these old scars?

The only plus point was she could do everything that she couldn't do when she was 18 herself! Her eyes immediately lit up. For instance, she could finally go to the college entrance exam. Just this thought was enough to make Xiu feel giddy and energetic but the reality soon hit her.

"What about him?" Thinking about that handsome face, Xiu felt downcast. "Was he missing her? Did he regret calling her a presumptuous woman or treating her the way he did?" She slapped her cheeks to knock herself out of it.

"Xiu, listen to yourself. Haven't you learned your lesson? He pushed you to your death. He is all the way in Capital while you are born in... Whatever this place this. This body belongs to someone else. And that someone might have her own dreams which are left broken now." As her consciousness nagged her, Xiu felt sober.

She realized she needed to think this whole thing through. Walking out of the bathroom, she found that beautiful girl pacing back and forth in worry.

"Thank God! You're alright!" The girl pulled Xiu in a warm hug as tears trickled down her face. Xiu's body was stiff and she didn't know how to reciprocate this kind gesture. She had no clue who this beautiful soul was but she reckoned that she was the original owner's best friend. "I've been so worried about you."

As she felt that Xiu had no reaction and there was a strange look in her eyes, Nora had called for the doctor. After a thorough check-up, the doctor questioned, "Can you tell me your name?"

Xiu bit her lip and said, "I don't remember." She definitely had no desire to mention that she was Chen Xiu in the body of someone else. She might end up in a mental asylum or worse, like a lab rat!

The doctor didn't seem fazed by her words as he continued to ask her some other questions.

"Uncle, how is she?" Nora asked the doctor as he came out of the room. "She stayed in a coma for a week. And now, she seems different."

"Nora, I already warned you to be prepared. Your friend went through some trauma which led to her this state. As for now, she seems to be suffering from amnesia."

"It is temporary?" Nora asked with an earnest look.

"We can't be sure. Perhaps, her trauma is too big for her young self." The doctor patted her shoulder before leaving.

Nora slowly walked back inside the room to see Xiu curled up on the bed with a dazed look in her eyes. She seemed like a lost kitten. Her eyes had lost their luster.

"Xiu!" Nora called out softly as she sat beside her on the bed and stroked her hair saying, "It's okay if you can't remember anything. I'm gonna stay with you. I'll be your memory manual." Xiu was bewildered to see her charming smile.

And it was Nora who told her that her name was Bai Xiu. It was ironic that both owners of this body shared the same given name.

As for Nora herself...

She was a Latin-American beauty who moved to China when her mother remarried a Chinese businessman. She was only 14 at that time and in just 4 years, she was quite fluent in Mandarine.

Getting infectious by her love and gentleness, Xiu sat up and hugged her back with a small smile. But alas! Her care was for the Bai Xiu who was already gone.

"You scared me, girl. Why did you go to the cemetery?" Nora seemed like she was reprimanding her but in fact, it was her peculiar way to show her Latin love. "Anyway, welcome back to the land of the living."

Xiu looked into her clear and bright eyes saying, "Indeed, it's welcome back." Only Xiu knew what she meant. With those words, she had decided to leave the shadows of her past behind. Chen Xiu was dead and nobody could change that fact.

Now, only Bai Xiu would live. And she will live her life to the fullest.

Goodbye, Chen Xiu!

The world didn't need you. And it will never need you again. Let's bury Chen Xiu and her memories right here.

*Flashback Ends*