Imperfect Desires

"I didn't know my Sweets is actually a cupid."

Xiu yawned lazily as she fell down on her bed with her phone in her hand. Even though she was on a video call and he could see her rolling herself up like sushi, she didn't care. It wasn't like Darren didn't know what or how she was. 

"Cupid? When did I play the role of a cupid?" asked Xiu before she placed the phone on the stand and stared at his face through the screen. 

"First, you made Dylan realize his feelings. Then you pushed Ah-Si and Nora both towards each other. And now, you're trying to be a matchmaker for Ying. Is anybody left?"

Xiu closed her eyes briefly before saying, "Yup! We still have to find someone for mom."

Darren was left gaping at her. She still remembered how he told her about finding a partner for his mother. It wasn't her responsibility, it was his. But she was willing to share it with him. Just how many times was she planning on making him fall in love with her? He badly wanted to hug her now.

"I presume you're becoming addicted to creating love stories," said Darren shaking his head at her.

"Even if I create a million, ours is still my most favorite one. You and I." 

He smiled back at her, "Mine too."

Xiu grinned at him happily. Seeing how she was stretching her limbs, he questioned, "Tired?" Xiu yawned again and nodded her head. "Then go to sleep."

Xiu shook her head at him. "No. I still have a lot to tell you. I wasn't gonna get this tired if it wasn't for Dylan. He made me mentally tired because of how slow he is. I barely scratched the basics of the piano and he still didn't get it."

"I told you, teaching Dylan piano won't be an easy job. Although I trust in your ability, I can still say that he's difficult."

Xiu hugged her pillow, "He's not just difficult. He is dumb as well!"

"Okay. You don't have to rush it."

Xiu nodded her head and stared at his face. He looked tired but his smile for her was still as bright and lively as it had been. Xiu could tell he was still working and that's why she hesitated before asking, "Do you have time?"

"I still have 30 minutes... Why?"

"I need to tell you something," began Xiu and he gave a nod in acknowledgment and as a gesture for her to continue. "I just found out that Dylan's neighbor is... Zhou Jinhai."

The pen in Darren's hand dropped on the floor as he heard that name. "Did... Did you meet him?" He asked while picking up his pen from the floor. Xiu nodded her head. "How? Why? No, are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" retorted Xiu. "As for why I met him, as I said, he's Dylan's neighbor. So, he came to find him." Noticing Darren's silence, she went on, "I'm gonna tell you what I said to Dylan. I felt nothing after seeing him."

"Are you sure? It doesn't affect you anymore?"

"No way," replied Xiu firmly. "In fact, only after seeing him, I realized how far I have finally come. He is now becoming a vague and blurry image of the past. I can't even call it a memory anymore. I feel free."

Darren stared at her face long and hard as if trying to understand her emotions. Did she really feel it that way? Or was she just trying to comfort him this way? 

"Even after seeing him with his wife, I felt no bitterness. I guess you filled my life with so much sweetness that I can't even remember what bitterness tasted like."

Darren chuckled at her remark. "How is that possible? Sweets is your name. Not mine."

"Yes, but the one who named me Sweets is you. Only you! It's something that you have a copyright for. It belongs to just you."

"Just like my Sweets only belong to me?" he wondered out and she nodded her head fervently.

"Since I promised to never hide anything from you, I decided to tell you this as well. Because I know Dylan, he's gonna inform you as well. But it's something I feel like you should hear from me."

When Xiu said those words, Darren pressed his lips together. His hand around the pen tightened on instinct. He truly felt like her words made a lot more sense. Even though his secrets might hurt her, he still needed to be the one to share those secrets with her. She deserved to hear it from him.

"Sweets, what if I'm hiding something very important from you."

"Huh?" Xiu's brows quirked up. "Hiding something?" He blinked in reply. "If it's important why are you hiding it from me?"

"Because I don't want you to get hurt." His answer was straightforward. He cared about her feelings more than anything. 

Xiu contemplated for a while before saying, "But can you keep this secret for life?" He shook his head in reply. "If not, then I believe today is better than tomorrow. Even if I know it tomorrow, it's gonna hurt as much as it would hurt today. So, I prefer today. It'll give me more time to gather myself."

"That makes sense," replied Darren.

"But are you really hiding something from me?" His silence was a clear answer to her as she went on, "What is it? Are you having an affair?"

"What?"

"No? Then maybe you're losing your love for me?"

"What the hell!"

"That ain't it as well. Then I'm sure about this one. Being apart from me, you finally realized that you can live without me."

"Will you shut up?" Xiu closed her mouth. "Stop thinking nonsense. Being apart from you can only make me realize that leaving you alone is dangerous. Your mind can wander off to places people can't even imagine. You should write fantasy stories with that stupid imagination of yours."

"Do you think that'll be a good career path for me?" She asked seriously.

"You have got to be kidding with me!"

Xiu giggled at his reaction and closed her eyes as she kept talking and talking about her day. Before she finally fell asleep, she hadn't forgotten to say, "Don't forget to tell me that secret when you get back. I'll be waiting for you."