Imperfect Desires

"You still haven't told me about this rumored boyfriend of yours," Xiu couldn't help bringing it up again. And this time, she wasn't just doing it to tease her, she was genuinely interested in hearing this story.

"Are we still on that topic?" Ying wondered. "I told you I don't have a boyfriend."

"Not now," began Xiu while shrugging her shoulders, she concluded with, "But you can't be certain about the future."

"Please, spare me! I finally took a step to close the door of my unrequited love. I'm not looking for other trouble."

Xiu stopped her in her steps and asked, "What do you mean? What did you do?" Although Ying wasn't very used to sharing this kind of thing with anyone, she still felt inclined to speak the truth before Xiu. And when Xiu heard about what Ying had been doing, she was baffled, "What? Ying Jie, have you lost your mind?!"

"Did I do anything wrong?" questioned Ying innocently.

"Ying Jie, I can understand your standpoint. You're willing to lose love but not a friend. But what about you? Don't you think this kind of thing leaves a bitter after taste in your life? I get it Li bro is a very important friend to you but are you really gonna punish yourself like this? Seeing his happiness will only bring pain to you."

Xiu couldn't believe it that Ying had created another blunder during the time she wasn't around her. What was wrong with this girl? Why was it so difficult for her to think about her own self first? 

"Between your own sanity and someone else's happiness, how can you choose someone else's happiness? I know you believe in 'If he's happy, I'm happy' but for how long? Seeing his happy family is gonna make your heart bleed repeatedly!"

Seeing Xiu fume for the second time because of her made Ying feel even more amused. This little packet was tougher and stubborn than she appeared to be. 

"It might be easy for others to cut off from things or people they were once close to, but that ain't me." Xiu looked at Ying who was leaning against her car and was looking heavenward intently. "I'm such a photo hoarder that I even hate to delete useless photos from my phone. If I feel that attached to some photos, what can I say about Xiaoli?"

"But..."

"Xiu, even if I want to I can't cut off from him. Not because I have lingering feelings for him but because his family and mine have connections that can't cut off. Whether I want to or not, I'll have to see him for the rest of my life. Then why can't I do it with a smile on my face? If I can't run, why bother running? Even if I try to run, I'm only gonna end up as tired and nothing else."

Xiu took a step closer to her and leaned against the car beside Ying as she said, "I'm not asking you to run away. But what about the knots that have formed between your relationship? As long as Sister Meihui is in his life, can you both really stay as friend?"

"I don't blame Meihui," began Ying making Xiu's eyes widen in shock. "I have never blamed Meihui. I know whatever she did to me was just because she felt insecure. I felt like a threat to her and she retaliated in the only way she knew. But I do blame her for hurting Xiaoli while trying to fight her insecurities. Everything Xiaoli did is not Meihui's responsibility. His actions, words, and the way he chose to hurt me by pushing me away had all been his own responsibility."

"Ying Jie!" Xiu was frustrated now. "I know you're the big person who loves forgiveness. But... Forgiveness is one thing, can you forget? Can you forget how you got hurt? It'd be like scratching at your old wounds."

"Good idea. Then I'll poke these old wounds until I become numb to it."

"Instead of doing that. How about looking at a better future?" Ying looked at Xiu who was pointing at the jacket she wore and frowned. 

"Don't assume things. My shirt got torn, so he offered his jacket to help. There is no other context behind it." 

"Really?" challenged Xiu with her yes and Ying resigned.

"Okay, he was flirting as well. But..."

"There you have it!" Xiu didn't let her finish at all. "I love straightforward people. If he can so boldly say that he is interested in you, why are you not willing to take a chance?"

"But I don't even know him," argued Ying.

"That's the whole point of dating. But if you'll keep hesitating, how are you gonna get to know him?" Placing her hand on Ying's shoulder, she went on, "If you really want me to believe that you are trying to move on, then make an effort. You can close the door to your heart but at least leave a window open. Or else, you'll suffocate yourself."

"So, you really think that I should take him out for a meal to extend my gratitude for his help?"

"That's a good idea. But how will you contact him?"

"He gave me his WeChat id," answered Ying. 

Xiu lightly teased Ying with her shoulder as she said, "Oh, he's not coming slow. So, when are you taking him out?"

"I haven't decided yet."

"What's there to think about? Don't waste your time thinking. It's time for action. Didn't you hear me say, time is money? You also need to cash it. And you particularly need to cash it double since you wasted so much of your time on a hopeless love."

"I feel like you're forcing me to go on a date," voiced out Ying and went on, "Even my grandmother doesn't come as strong as you are. And why are insisting on this particular person? Can't I look for anyone else?"

Xiu shook her head. "You said everyone misunderstood your relationship with him even when you're just talking. That means you both must have hot chemistry going on."

"So, you're hell-bent on this, eh?"

"There is no way out for you!"