Imperfect Desires

"I believe it's time for you to put your foot down and get what you want."

Yan Ying contemplated Xin Zimen's words. She has indeed given up way too much for other's sake. And that's why she always ended up with the shorter end. It was just like what Xiu had told her; to stop living for others. For once, she needed to chase her own happiness.

She put the pendant back on and touched the dangling rings as she said, "If holding on and letting go is in my hands than my happiness should also only be mine to decide."

Xin Zimen noticed her look of determination and smiled to himself in amusement. This was the reason why he thought Ying was very special. She was emotionally and mentally a very strong person. She never shied away from her tears but she also never let those tears hinder her happiness. 

Also, she was the most patient person he had come across in his life. She spent decades loving his son patiently waiting for him to return her feelings. But when he didn't, instead of getting mad at him, she silently stepped aside.

But that was exactly what made her so different from other people. She wasn't the kind of person who would say, 'If you can't be mine, I won't let you be anyone else's as well.' In fact, she was the kind of person who was more inclined to say, 'If your happiness is with her, I'd be more than happy to gift you that happiness.'

"I heard you're taking your team out for a meal," began Xin Zimen uncertainly. "When did you get so generous?"

"I was born generous," replied Ying. 

"Oh, really? I didn't know that."

Seeing his expressions of sarcasm, Ying didn't know what to say. "Anyways, since I canceled the housewarming party last night, every one of them is bugging me now. So, I can only open my wallet and swipe my card for them."

Xin Zimen placed his black card on her hand saying, "Then swipe this one instead."

Ying chuckled, "I have no problem in swiping your card but if I did so, my dad won't like it."

"If he doesn't like it then he should unfreeze your cards," retorted Xin Zimen.

"His condition is still the same. As long as I agree to take over his business as his only heir, he'll unfreeze all my cards. But why can't he understand that I don't want to be stuck in an office for life? He never stopped mom from this job, but he's always after me."

"You're his only daughter, of course, he has his own concerns."

"Zizi, you can't take my dad's side. As my godfather, don't ever choose him over me! I'm warning you!"

Xin Zimen poked her head, "Just go out with your colleagues. Stop bothering me."

"Zizi, I'm a bother to you as well? How can you even- Ouch!"

Her head was flicked again before she could finish her sentence. "Don't even try to play this game with me."

Ying grumbled incoherently before stomping out of his study. It was fun teasing that poker face godfather of hers. But she knew her limits. If she continued, she knew he was gonna get mad and she didn't want to see the consequences of that.

While she was skipping her way down the stairs, she passed by Xin Xiaoli who was going up. However, she didn't stop but he did.

"Ying..." 

Hearing her name, she finally stopped and turned to look up at him with furrowed brows. 

"When did you come?" he asked softly.

Ying thought about her answer before saying, "Does it matter?" Before he could say anything, she added, "Now, before you remind me how you asked me to stay away from here. Let me enlighten you... I'm Yan Ying. This is my godmother and godfather's house, not yours! I can come here whenever I want to. Even you can't stop me."

"I wasn't gonna stop you-"

Ying didn't let him complete his sentence as she again started, "Why? Aren't you worried now that Meihui will misunderstand my presence here? Or now you don't care because she is soon gonna be your wife? Or maybe now you want me to permanently cut off from this place. Let me tell you, that's not happening. Ever! If your soon to be wife doesn't wanna see me here, she can close her eyes when I'm around."

Xin Xiaoli squinted his eyes at her. When did she get so difficult to talk to? She wasn't even letting him say anything.

"I know I can't stop you from coming here. I'm not trying that either," said Xiaoli. "I just wanted to ask how are you?" Ying looked at him with a raised brow. "I wanted to tell you about my wedding with Meihui first but..."

"Why would you?" retorted Ying. "When I first heard the news I was upset." Xiaoli clenched his hands tightly as he felt guilty when he heard her words but later, she completely shocked him. "But only because I thought as a best friend, I deserved to know about this first. Guess what, it took me just a while to realize that I had no right to be upset because we are not best friends anymore. We're not even friends anymore. So, why should I be upset about it?"

"I never said we are not friends anymore," he replied after a moment.

"When you said that I'm the reason why Meihui doesn't want to give you a chance, you made yourself loud and clear. It was my stubbornness that I wasn't willing to accept the truth."

"Ying, hear me out... What you said that time made me angry and that's why I said somethings I didn't mean to."

Ying raised her hand to stop him. "Did I lie though? I'll repeat myself again, Meihui is your stubbornness and that's why you're not willing to let her go. There is a huge difference in love and stubbornness. But you're not willing to see it!"

"That's not true!"

"Don't bother explaining it to me. I guess I have never said this before but I did love you. You're my first love which is why I'm willing to let you go for your happiness. If you're also my stubbornness, trust me, Ms. Qiu Meihui wouldn't have been able to play with your feelings so well."