Imperfect Desires

*Knock! Knock!*

Qiu Meihui sat up when she heard knocking at her door. Zhao Wei opened the door slightly and asked, "Are you hungry? I made your favorite beef noodles."

She couldn't look away from her mother who didn't dare enter her room without her permission. She had always gotten mad at her mother for invading her privacy and now, Zhao Wei was just standing at the door. Qiu Meihui noticed the distance between her and her mother but only realized now that the distance between their hearts had grown even wider than this.

"If you're not hungry, it's alright..." Zhao Wei took her daughter's silence as her displeasure. She thought her daughter was mad at her for disturbing her again. So, she decided to retreat.

"I..." Qiu Meihui's stopped her as she turned with an inquisitive look. "I'm hungry."

Zhao Wei's face lit up as she nodded her head and pushed the door open wide. Qiu Meihui looked at the tray in her mother's hands and waited for her to come inside but Zhao Wei stood right there at the door without moving. "Mom, you can come inside."

Zhao Wei's brows knitted up, "I can?" Qiu Meihui nodded her head and Zhao Wei hurried in as she placed the tray before her and said, "Eat up. I'm leaving now." Zhao Wei didn't dare to stay in her room longer than it was necessary.

Qiu Meihui went to do a quick clean up before she sat down and picked up the chopsticks. As she took the first bite, the nostalgic taste of those noodles brought tears to her eyes. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before taking her phone and dialing a number.

"Sis, why are you calling me at this time?" came Dylan's impatient voice from the other side. When Qiu Meihui didn't reply for a good few minutes, he grew impatient and anxious, "Sis, is everything okay? Did you get into another argument with mom? Even if you did, please stay calm. Don't raise your voice at mom. Even though she doesn't show it, she is old now. She might not be able to handle your temper."

Qiu Meihui frowned at his words, "Didi, what nonsense are you spouting? Why would I argue with mom?"

"Because that's your favorite hobby..." said Dylan softly afraid that she'll get mad at him now.

"That's not funny," retorted Qiu Meihui.

"I wasn't trying to be funny though," replied Dylan calmly. "Anyways, if you didn't get into an argument why are you calling me?"

"Say, do you think it's because of age that mom has turned into such an easygoing person? I mean she hadn't talked to me since I married against her wishes but now when I said sorry, she not only forgive me but also, didn't say anything to me."

Dylan sighed heavily, "What the hell! Mom had always been an easygoing person."

"No, she wasn't," argued Qiu Meihui.

"Sis, just because you never made an effort to understand mom doesn't mean mom isn't easygoing, amazing, and the kindest person. In fact, she used to beat me with a duster, stick, spatula, and even a shoe if I did anything wrong but she never even raised her voice at you. I always got grounded by her, but you had the freedom to do everything. That's because she trusted you very much and had high hopes for you. But you..."

When Dylan left his last words unsaid, Qiu Meihui was left in a dilemma. Indeed, Zhao Wei had treated Dylan like a real strict mother but with her, she had always been lenient. 

"You always take mom's side but don't forget she forced me out of the house," she still was insistent on putting the blame on others.

"Reflect on yourself for once," said Dylan surprising Qiu Meihui since Dylan had never spoken so straightforwardly with her. "It takes two to tango. If mom was in the wrong for wanting you to become an exceptional person, you're no better. You never let go of a single chance to make mom lose face before people. She hadn't met any of her old friends because of what you did."

"But..." Qiu Meihui wanted to argue but Dylan didn't allow her.

"It's funny that mom didn't want to see you get hurt but all you ever did was to hurt mom. You wanted her to feel the pain of losing her own daughter just because she set Ying Jie as the example of a good daughter. I honestly don't know your issue with Ying Jie, but in your hatred for her, you dragged everyone." He took a pause before adding, "I just hope you aren't dragging Li bro in your agenda. He doesn't deserve that."

Qiu Meihui was left feeling complicated now. She hated her mother for years just because she compared her with Ying. But the person who was doing the comparison wasn't Zhao Wei, it was she; Qiu Meihui herself who always let her insecurities get the better of herself.

"Hedi, are you drunk?"

"How do you know that?" questioned Dylan while looking around. "Did you install cameras in my house?" He was really suspicious now. Otherwise, how did she know that he was drinking?

"I don't have to install cameras."

"Then how do you know?"

"Because in all these years even when you'd be defending mom before me, you'd sugarcoat your words to not hurt my feelings. Tonight, your mouth is spitting poison."

Dylan slumped on the table saying, "How is it spitting poison? I only spoke the truth. And I never defended mom. I know she isn't perfect because she cares too much about her image. But you're no better. In fact, you both are just equally stubborn but you both won't accept it."

"Why are you drinking? Is something wrong?"

Dylan snickered, "And when did you start caring about my life?"

"What do you mean?" 

"Sis, just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't know why you chose to lower your head before mom. You're not feeling any remorse. I know you. But trust me, if you hurt mom I won't ever forgive you!"

"Am I that evil in your eyes?"

"Evil? I don't know. But you love hurting mom and I can't see that."

"You think too highly of me," there was a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

Dylan didn't reply to her and hung up the call. Staring at the screen, he just mumbled, "I wish you and mom could actually understand each other."