Imperfect Desires

'Dear Goddess Xiu,

I have never written a letter before to anyone. And since my Mandarin is not something to be proud of, I'm not sure what I'm gonna write and how. This is also my 15th try and I'm still not sure what I want to say. Most probably, I'm never gonna post it and you're never gonna read it. 

However, I still would like to pen this one out. There are some feelings that I'd like to share with you. 

First of all, let me introduce myself.

My name is Destiny Novell but trust me, my name has no effect on my life since my destiny is still as fucked up as it could be. It's just like how your name is Felicity Chen and I have never seen you happy. I guess our names really did us no good. Ironic, isn't it?

Coming back to the real topic, why am I writing this letter?

What is it that I want to say to you?

First and foremost, I want to say thank you! You must be wondering why I suddenly am showing this gratitude? But don't be surprised. Not just yet...

Last year, on April 24th, it was the first time I saw you. On a rainy night, in the middle of the road, no one stopped except for you. You were wearing a white gown and you didn't even care whether it got dirtied by the mud or the blood. You didn't even bother caring whether your expensive car would get sullied. You didn't even hesitate to help a complete stranger.

My mother told me, 'We are only as pretty as we treat people around us.'

I never understood her meaning until I saw you. That night I met two people... One was the grim reaper there to take my life and the other was an angel who brought me back to life. I might not know the grim reaper's name but I know the angel named Chen Xiu.

I hope you understood why I said thank you to you earlier. It was for the same reason if you had not stopped your car and helped me, I would have lost my life that day. I'm only 15 by the way and I think I have yet to see a lot. So, I don't plan on dying so soon. 

I have never believed in destiny until I met you. Because after coming across you, I realized destiny wasn't just a joke. Well, Destiny Novell can be a joke but the destiny written by heaven's will can't be a joke. 

I oddly think that you don't remember me after all, an angel would never keep track of how many good deeds she has done. I'm sure I was just another person in your life whom you helped. But I feel it created a bond between us. Technically, I have your blood running in my veins (That's a pathetic joke, I know.)

Writing it down really helped to ease my heart. I feel like I've done good. As for whether I'll post this letter or not, I'm gonna leave it to destiny. I'm not talking about myself here. You know what I mean.

One of your million fans,

Destiny Novell.'

As Xiu read through the letter in her hands, she stared at the words blankly. She could read it but why couldn't she understand it?

April 24th?

Rainy night?

I saved her life?

All of these questions ran through her mind. If this event really happened then it should be in her memories since she had her memories from the previous life. But why was it that difficult to recall?

In that letter, Destiny had written the truth about Xiu. She indeed had helped so many people in life that she herself didn't know it. The blame should go to her poor memory skills. 

Xiu picked up the laptop from under the table and turned it on. She felt like that date represented something. As she searched about Chen Xiu and April 24th, plenty of search results came out. 

//Headline: "Legion Movie's main actress, Chen Xiu didn't appear at the premiere!"

//Headline: "Chen Xiu, the newly crowned Goddess Xiu forsook the red carpet. Is the fame getting to her that fast?"

//Headline: "Hundreds of fans waiting outside the venue disappointed. Chen Xiu has yet to release a statement."

Xiu's mind buzzed as she read these headlines. That date did represent something. She was scorned so badly for thinking too highly of herself. But not even one of those news channels actually wondered whether she was safe or not? Perhaps, she got stuck somewhere? No, all of them just shoved the blame on her.

*Flashback*

"Can you drive in this weather?" The silky smooth voice of the girl rang from the backseat.

"Don't worry, Sister Xiu. I'll take care of everything," replied her assistant, Han Bohai. He had only been selected as her temporary assistant a few days ago since her last assistant had gotten into an accident. That's why she was doubtful about his skills since he was barely a year or two younger than her.

"Okay, just relax and no need to rush as well," advised Xiu as she leaned back in the seat looking out the window. Seeing the raindrops hitting the glass of the window, she sighed out heavily, "Nothing good comes out of this weather. It's depressing to me again." 

The car was driving smoothly on the busy road when suddenly a woman appeared right in the middle of the road. "Watch it!" Xiu shouted and Han Bohai instantly pressed the breaks. The car's tires slid on the slippery road but thankfully, it stopped and didn't hurt anyone.

"Who is this madwoman?" Han Bohai shouted in anger.

He was about to go out to look when Xiu placed a hand on his shoulder indicating him to stay still. The woman came rushing as she saw the car had stopped and tapped on Xiu's window. Xiu winded the glass down slightly as she looked at the woman who didn't look Chinese at all.

"Please, help me! My daughter is hurt. She's bleeding badly. I need to take her to the hospital. Nobody is stopping the car." Her frantic voice, the panic on her face, and the tears in her eyes got Xiu's heart to feel weird as she nodded.

"Bohai, go and help her," she instructed.

"But the premiere..."

Xiu gave him a stern look, "Go and help her."

He silently got down the car and went to the side of the road with that woman. When they came back, Xiu could see the young girl in Han Bohai's arms covered in blood. 

"What happened to her?" Xiu couldn't help asking as she held the young girl's head and placed it on her lap. Her blood was staining her expensive white gown but Xiu only cared about the bloody scene before her. The girl's breathing was harsh as she fluttered her eyes open to see her.

"I don't know. I don't know where those metal rods fell from. I know nothing." Xiu didn't look at the woman who was apparently the mother of this girl. Her focus was on cleaning the blood off her small face.

"Drive fast," said Xiu.

*Flashback, to be continued*