Imperfect Desires

"Nono, what are you doing?"

Nora had been sitting in her car with her head on the steering wheel for a while now. She had parked the car before her house but didn't dare walk inside. Something was weighing down on her. She wasn't feeling very well. 

And while she was mulling over her own problems, her car's window was tapped by her little brother. 

Jackson had seen her car from his window the moment she came back but he thought she'd come inside. So, he waited but she didn't come even after half an hour of waiting. He constantly kept an eye on her movement and feeling like something was wrong, he decided to finally check up on her.

Nora winded down the glass as she tilted her head to look at him, "Is mom and dad home?" He nodded his head. "Oh, there goes another excuse to turn back." She really was looking for an excuse to delay this conversation. Even though it was needed, she still didn't know how to face them.

"What are you really doing?" He asked in exasperation. Her expressions weren't really helping right now. 

Nora took a deep calming breath before she pushed open the door and got down. She held Jackie up in her arms and when he tried to escape, she mumbled, "Your sister needs you. Can't you offer her some strength?" 

Jackie squinted his eyes at her. "What mess did you got into now? How can I help you when I don't even know what's happening with you?"

"You don't need to do anything, just hold my hand. It's enough for now," said Nora softly. She wanted this support from Xiu but since Xiu was sick, she didn't want to drag her into this baggage of hers. It was her own problem and she needed to solve it herself.

She knew she needed to solve it herself but...

It wasn't as easy as it sounded though.

When Nora entered the house, she found her mom and dad sitting in the lounge having some discussion. She could see that they were busy with work, so she didn't disturb them.

"Oh, Nora... When did you come?" asked Jing Ge looking at this daughter of his.

"Why do you like that?" Her mother Clara pointed out making Nora look down at her clothes. "Did you forget how to take care of yourself? How can you roam around looking like a buffoon?"

"Mom, buffoon? Seriously?" Nora was really in disbelief. Her mother could never just show her motherly affection like a normal person. Clara shrugged her shoulders. "Where is Mel?"

"Your grandaunt left in the morning," replied Clara casually. "Don't you remember she had a flight scheduled for today?"

Nora had really forgotten about this. She had just met Mel yesterday and after that, she was so absorbed in dealing with herself that she completely forgot about this. 

"Take a bath," said Clara. "Did you even eat anything?" Nora shook her head making Clara glared at her in annoyance. "Oh, so you plan on becoming a real hobo now!"

"Wife!" Jing Ge looked at his wife with a hard stare. Sometimes she really needed to think before speaking. Then he turned to his daughter and said, "Nora, go to your room. I'll ask Sister Qin to whip something up for you."

Nora smiled thankfully at her step-father but her smile was strained. Her heart was clenching in her chest. Jing Ge had truly been an amazing father to her. He loved her, cared for her, did everything to make her feel like they were family. She really didn't know how she was gonna look at him.

Would he really hate her if he knew what a failure she was? Would he also leave as her own father did? Or maybe, he wouldn't even want to see her again.

All these thoughts were running through her mind as Nora made her way to her room. She had put Jackie down at his room's door and now, she just laid on her bed staring at the ceiling with complicated feelings.

"Bitter or sweet, you're gonna have to face this reality," she mumbled to herself before getting up to take a shower.

Downstairs...

"Don't you think something is wrong with Nora?" inquired Jing Ge looking at his wife.

Clara had a thoughtful look as she replied, "Who knows what she's dreading now. But I'm sure she'll come around. You don't worry about it." He nodded at her. "Sister Qin, can you please make something for Nora?" she shouted from the lounge.

"Yes, madam!" came the reply from the kitchen.

When Nora came down, a bowl of noodles was already waiting for her. She sat down calmly and started slurping on the hot noodles. But just as she drank the soup of the noodle directly from the bowl, she froze seeing how her parents were staring at her curiously.

"You have something to say?" Clara started the conversation.

"How do you know that?"

"It's written all over your face," said Jing Ge.

Nora pursed her lips before wiping her mouth with the napkin. She stared at their faces for a moment longer before speaking up, "Mom, I told you about a boy I was in love with."

Clara nodded her head. "Yes, I remember." Nora didn't have to repeat anything for Jing Ge because if his mother knew then there was no way her father didn't know. The one thing she loved about her parent's relationship was the fact they had a very transparent relationship. Both of them didn't hide anything from each other. Even if they both were in different fields of works, there was nothing that they didn't know about each other's life.

"I got pregnant back then," she finally blurted out as she closed her eyes not daring to see their expressions. From the moment, she got to know about her pregnancy to the point she ran away to her grandmother, she told everything to them calmly and both of them didn't even interrupt her. However, their silence was the reason why she opened her eyes again to look at them when she finished her piece.