Imperfect Desires

"Investigator Yan..."

Yan Ying was reclining on her swivel chair, staring into space with a golden pen moving between her slender fingers when she heard someone calling her. She looked up at the person who called her.

"Director Fei is looking for you."

Yan Ying straightened up in her seat as she nodded her head.

"Team leader, are you getting a promotion?"

"It's about time you're promoted from being First class Investigator to the Special class investigator."

"Team leader, don't forget to take us out for a meal."

Yan Ying frowned at the chattering voices that started between her team. She was really not interested in hearing anymore as she stood up from the chair.

"I don't know about the promotion, but I do hope I don't have to be a team mentor anymore. It's annoying raising kids like you."

"Team leader, you're talking as if you're an old lady," said Mark as he laughed at her expression of boredom.

"I'm hitting that three and oh. That means, thirty! Of course, I'm an old lady now."

The six members of her team started laughing at her reaction. She really looked like someone who was fed up with life. But everyone knew that's not how she actually felt. She was just feeling under the weather these days because their team's investigation hadn't gotten anywhere and she was getting restless now.

...

Yan Ying took a deep breath before knocking on the door and pushed open the door to enter. A lady in her late-forties with round glasses perched on her sharp nose lifted her eyes to look at her. 

With her hands behind her back, Yan Ying spoke up, "Investigator Yan reporting to Director Fei."

Pushing her glasses up, the lady with a tight bun on her head said, "You are visiting hospital too often."

Ying raised her brow slightly. "It was a minor injury. Thank you for your concern, Director!"

Director stared at Ying's face with a stern look. "It was indeed a minor injury if someone hadn't been careless enough to let it get infected so badly." Ying pursed her lips and didn't say anything. She had been wondering what business Director Fei of the Criminal Department had with her who was these days lingering in the investigation Department. Now, she knew. She was called to receive an earful again.

"I think I warned you last time to stop being so careless with your life," said Director Fei in a serious and professional tone. "Are you sick of living?"

"I love my life very much. No matter how crappy it is, I still love it. And I had never been careless with my own life or anyone else around me. I really don't know what we are getting at with this."

"Your promotion is held back," said Director Fei as she passed a document to her. "Apparently, the higher-ups think that you need to learn to value your own life before anything else."

'Are you fucking kidding me right now?!' was Ying's internal reaction but she couldn't say it out loud to the person before her because of the seniority. "Not like I was really looking forward to that promotion anyway."

"Oh, and that means you'll still act as the Squad S3's mentor for the next six months. Also, you're off the field."

Now, Ying was in disbelief. "What?! Are you suspending me? Just because I got shot on-field and got an infection? Everyone gets injured on the field. It's no big deal."

"The reason isn't as you put it..." began Director Fei. "According to the reports, you let your personal feelings get in the way. You could have saved Ava Xin without any injury if you had been using your brain instead of letting your feelings get in the way."

Ying wanted to curse out again. But she couldn't refute her words. She indeed had been reckless with her actions. She couldn't blame anyone but herself for letting her feelings get the best of her.

"Also, we are not suspending you. You're just on desk duty for the next six months."

"That's even worse!" Ying shot back. She was like that butterfly who loved flying around, putting her behind a desk was the worst thing for her.

"That you should have thought about before acting out," that slight curve of that old lady's lips was really making Ying want to wring someone's neck at this moment. She was really provoking her for no reason. "Investigator Yan, although you have a success rate of 85% in your entire career. You have 99% filled with reckless decisions. As a team mentor, we don't want your subordinates to learn those traits of yours. So, you better get your head back in the game and pay attention to your team members."

"Duly noted..."

Ying had just turned to leave when her shoulder was held back. She turned around and found Director smiling widely at her as she hugged her without any prior warning.

"What are you doing?"

"Why? I'm hugging my niece, what's wrong with that?"

"Haha..." Ying gave mocking laughter. "You weren't being this smiley when you just scolded me."

"Ay, that's part of the job. My little niece, aunt still loves you," said Director Fei while rubbing her head like a kid.

"You're still the most annoying aunt," said Ying scrunching up her face in displeasure.

"Huh? How many aunts do you have? Last time I checked, I was the only one."

"Stop trying to act like a good person. It doesn't go with the image you have around here," said Ying.

Director Fei stroked her face saying, "That's because I'm not a good person. But I want to be a good aunt to you."

Ying pushed her hand away as she grumbled, "Yeah. Thanks for being the good aunt." Although she looked annoyed, she was actually feeling a lot relaxed after talking to her aunt. 

"Something bothering you?" asked Director Fei as she looked carefully at her niece's face. "Wanna talk about it?"

"Do you even have the time to listen?" 

"I have all the time in the world for you," said Director Fei as she dragged her out of the room. "I've already cleared up my evening to spend it with my dearest niece."

"Where are you taking me?"

Director Fei halted in her steps and looked at Ying sheepishly. "I don't know. I want to go out for a drink but since it's rare for me to come out, I clearly have no idea what's hot these days."

Ying shook her head at her aunt. How typical of her to know nothing. Thinking of something, she said, "I have recently been to a bar. It has a nice vibe to it. Wanna try?"

"Well, why not?" replied Director Fei before frowning, "But wait! You went to a bar? For what?"

"Why do people go to a bar?" asked Ying while Director Fei quirked up her brow. "Of course, to drink!"

Director Fei laughed at her face as she opened the door of her car. "Dear niece, although you have inherited this dangerous side of yours from my sister, your drinking habits come from your dad. Who by the way is one of the worst drinkers I have ever come across!"

"Hey! Stop insulting my dad!"

"Wasn't insulting him. I was just stating a fact," shrugged Director Fei carelessly while she stepped on the accelerator.

Ying couldn't say anything in reply. Although this woman claimed she was the reckless one, did she look at her own previous record? Or the present one when she was trying to make her car fly like a bloody airplane!

The car ride was silent that allowed Ying's mind to wander until she heard her aunt's soft voice from beside her, "Ying'er, I know you're upset that I'm giving you paperwork that you don't like. But I can't help it. I only have you now. And I certainly don't wanna lose you as well."

Ying's eyes drooped down. What she indicated, Ying understood very well. But she wasn't gonna talk about it. She had been avoiding this topic for half a year now. She definitely wasn't gonna let her aunt break her resolve now of all times.