Imperfect Desires

Bai Xiu would have never expected her idol to use such twisted words. She was appalled to find Xiu even more entertaining than she thought. But as she pulled out the piece of folded paper that Darren left with him, she had to tell her, "Well, Sister Xiu, your drunken mistake left this for you. He was the one who brought you to the hospital and even stayed until your condition settled. I think he was gonna stay but they had some prior commitment."

Xiu took the note from her hand but didn't open it. Inwardly, she was glad to know that he didn't stay. Facing someone she kissed last night in her sober state was certainly not on her to-do-list for the day. 

"Aren't you gonna read that?" asked Bai Xiu.

"I will, just not now," said Xiu softly before she tucked the note in her coat which was placed on the chair near her bed.

Bai Xiu didn't comment on her decision and wore her red leather jacket while saying, "Sorry but I have to leave now. I have to get to school before my best friend realizes that I stayed out again. I can't let her find out about my nightly crusades."

"Actually, I should be apologizing for all this," she pointed at the hospital room making Bai Xiu laugh. "Also, thank you for staying with me."

Bai Xiu straight up went and hugged Xiu tightly taking her by surprise. "Sister Xiu, you know life is all about giving and taking. Stop just giving people. It's not that hard to take something back."

Xiu furrowed her brows at her words and said, "What can I possibly take back from people?"

Bai Xiu pulled away and looked at Xiu's face saying, "If you know how to offer kindness, expect a little back as well. My night with you can't amount to what you have given me." Xiu didn't understand her meaning at all. "Sister Xiu, I know some debts can't be paid but if you ever need anything, look for me. I'm willing to offer my life to you."

"That'd be too much to ask," said Xiu in a joking manner.

Bai Xiu smiled slightly as she turned to leave but stopped when she was about to close the door behind her and said, "This life is given by you, it doesn't matter if I offer it back to you." With that, she closed the door and went off.

As for Xiu, she was left with a complex look on her face. She scratched her head trying to understand what Bai Xiu meant but couldn't do so. 

Who knew that Bai Xiu meant exactly what she said. That girl really ended up offering her life to Xiu. But if Xiu knew that her kindness would be repaid in this way, perhaps, she'd have really hesitated before doing that act of kindness. Because asking for a young girl's life to save her own was never something she could think of.

Coming back to the present...

When Xiu's eyes opened, her heart was drumming in her chest. Her whole body was drenched in sweat as if someone had soaked her in water. Her stomach was in a wrenching pain as her body had turned cold.

It took Xiu a few minutes to calm her breathing, however, she still wasn't able to move her body. Every part of her body felt heavy and it ached badly. Laying on her bed, she stared at the ceiling in the darkness and recalled the longest dream of her life. Oddly, she could recall every single detail vividly even the parts that never existed before.

 The most fascinatingly terrifying thing about her dream was the fact that she felt every feeling from two perspectives. Her own and from Bai Xiu's. The memories she thought were lost forever had suddenly rushed into her mind overwhelming her like the memories of two people slowly merged together from that night seven years ago.

When she finally could move her limbs, she rushed to the bathroom and took a hot shower to deal with her low body temperature. Also, because she was feeling too sticky for her liking. Even though the pain in her stomach had increased, she didn't care at all. Standing before the mirror, Xiu felt like looking at a completely different person.

She once thought that Bai Xiu's memories weren't given to her because she had no right over them. But only now did she realized that Bai Xiu's memories were in slumber inside her brain. Locked up in a part and only now, they were awakened. As for what triggered it, she couldn't think of any particular reason.

She changed her bedsheet and laid back down in bed in the fetal position. Remembering Darren's face from her dream, she whispered, "Was it really you? Or my mind is playing games with me?" She closed her eyes trying to run through that memory again. She was having difficulty believing that her first kiss as Chen Xiu was also given to Darren. It seemed surreal.

Moreover, if he really was her so-called 'drunken mistake' then that meant he was...

Xiu sat up instantly with her eyes widened in disbelief. She shook her head as she muttered to herself, "No, Xiu. No matter how much you want Darren to be him. You can't be delusional. What are the chances that Darren and Mr. Egomaniac are the same person? No way! Darren is sharp-tongued but he isn't cocky like him. Their nature doesn't match at all."

Xiu was trying hard to deny the fact that Darren could be the same person from her previous life. The person she could call special in the real sense. Because it wasn't proved and if she got her hopes up, she was scared of the disappointments.

As Chen Xiu, she only gave people. She really gave all of her and never asked anything in return. Because she was scared of disappointments. But her disappointments could never stop her from giving her best. 

Only now did she realize that her heart secretly wished for that dream to be true. She desperately wished that Darren was him. But knowing how none of her wishes ever came true, she didn't want to get her hoped up for no reason.