Imperfect Desires

-The Next Morning-

When Xiu opened eyes at the break of dawn, she wasn't very surprised to find herself in a hospital room. Even though the stench of disinfectants was quite repressed by the air purifiers in the VIP room, her half-awake mind could still register her location. Instead of finding it surprising, she found it quite funny that lately whenever she closed her eyes, she always ended up in a hospital. As she sat up, she took off the needle from her hand and looked around.

That's when her eyes fell on Bai Xiu sleeping on the couch in an awkward posture. Xiu went to her side and covered her with a blanket before looking for her cellphone. Her assistant's number was on speed dial so it didn't take her long to make the call.

"Sister Xiu, finally you're contacting me. Please tell me you're alright," came Han Bohai's anxious voice. 

Looking at the sunrise through the balcony in her room, she said, "Xiao Han, keep quiet and listen carefully. Take the next flight to An City and I'll send you my exact location later."

"You're in An City? Sister Xiu, why couldn't you just stay in the Capital?" 

"Because I didn't want to stay under the radar of my mother," was her indifferent reply before she added, "Don't forget to eat before leaving. We have a crazy day ahead of us. Now, I'm hanging up."

Following the phone call, she was staring at the birds in the sky when the door of the room was pushed open. Xiu turned her head to see a doctor in a white coat walking inside with a nurse in tow. Seeing Xiu awake, the doctor looked at his file and asked, "How are you feeling now, Ms. Chen?"

"Alive," replied Xiu with a straight face.

"How much do you remember from last night?" He asked further.

"I went to the bar with her," she pointed at Bai Xiu's sleeping figure and went on, "The rest is blank." The doctor nodded in understanding. As the doctor continued to ask her other questions, she continued to reply in monosyllables.

The doctor sighed, placed the file in his hand down and looked at her with a serious look as he asked, "Ms. Chen, do you take anti-depressants?"

Xiu's composure faltered for a fleeting moment before she put on her best poker-face. Even though the times had changed but society didn't. She knew how people looked at others coping with depression. Either people took depression as a joke or as a disease for mentally challenged people. Anyhow, depression had been frowned upon in the society she grew up in.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she looked back at the doctor and said, "I'd like to claim my right to stay silent."

The doctor pressed his lips together before saying, "This is neither a court nor a police station where you can exercise that right. This is a hospital and I'm your doctor. And one should never lie to two people; a doctor and a lawyer." Xiu looked at the nurse that stood behind him before looking back at him and he added, "Sister, you can leave."

When the nurse left the room, Xiu started, "Yes, I take anti-depressants but it's prescribed by my psychologist. But why are you asking that?"

"Do you know how dangerous alcohol is for someone like you?" 

Xiu walked up to him and said unhappily, "What are you implying? Someone like me? What is wrong with me?"

"You're a mentally unstable person who has to rely on drugs to keep her emotions in check. I wonder why are you taking your mental health so lightly?" Xiu stayed quiet in reply and he went on, "Although alcohol harms a person's body in many ways, for someone with your mental state, alcohol is directly shrinking your brain. At this rate, there is a high risk of Alcoholic Korsakoff syndrome."

"KS... severe memory impairment," Xiu explained his medical jargon without a hitch making him frown a bit.

"So you have been warned?" It was more of a statement than a question.

But Xiu still answered, "Doctor, the reason behind my stress and depression begins with memories. Why do you think I'd try to save such memories?" Her words stunned the doctor. "I know it's your job and I respect that but don't waste your efforts on me. I'm not worth saving."

Following that, the doctor tried to talk about her condition in detail but she didn't pay much attention. She half-heartedly listened to everything he said just because of her old habit of not hurting other's feelings by being rude. When the doctor finally left the room, only then did she notice that Bai Xiu was now awake and looking at her with an intent gaze.

"Good morning, Xiao Bai!" greeted Xiu with a cheerful smile.

"You remember me?" she asked doubtfully.

"I have some impression," replied Xiu honestly. "But I don't remember what happened after I took you for that meal. Did I do something weird? Any drunken mistake?"

Bai Xiu bit her bottom lip as she thought for a moment before saying, "Does kissing a stranger, counts?"

Xiu's smile stiffened for a second before she looked at Bai Xiu and mumbled to herself, "Way to go Xiu, you finally lost your first kiss. Good riddance!" Bai Xiu raised her brows at her and she went on, "Was that drunken mistake hot? I mean on the scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate him?"

Bai Xiu gave a thoughtful look and said, "A hundred."

"Ohhh..." Xiu patted her chest as if comforting herself as she said, "Good to know that my drunken mistake was hot and handsome. That's all that matters."

Bai Xiu found her reaction quite funny as she said, "Older sister, aren't you the least bit curious about him?"

Xiu sighed out heavily as she replied, "I am but... I was taught to never do the same mistake twice."

"Drinking excessively is also a mistake," reminded Bai Xiu.

Xiu faked a short cough before saying, "Well, we never do the same mistake twice but we do it 8 to 9 times just to be sure."