I’m Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

Chapter 819: Insect Invasion

After dinner, Xiao Qin and I left the cafeteria together and saw Winnie playing soccer with the boys on the playground.

The language teacher who was passing by coughed loudly and Winnie looked in his direction, then smiled playfully and said hello.

Actually, what old man Zhang meant: didn’t you say you were on your period, then why are you still playing soccer so happily.

I suddenly saw a big black beetle fly out from the flower bed and it swooped down towards Xiao Qin like a bomber.

“Watch out for the bug.”

I was about to say that, but then I remembered that I had just promised Xiao Qin that I would call the beetle “Wim” to minimize the shock, so I was going to shout, “A Wim’s flying over.”

But Winnie was playing soccer in front of me and I misspoke and blurted out and said, “Look out, Winnie’s flying over!”

Xiao Qin froze, then she realized that a big beetle flew over her head, and she immediately crouched on the ground in fear while holding her head with both hands in a defensive posture.

“Ye Lin classmate, protect me~~(gt;_lt;)~~”

Winnie also stopped the ball at her feet and turned around to ask: “I can fly? Where and when did I learn it?”

I waved my hand and shooed the beetle away, only then did Xiao Qin get up from the ground while trembling.

The reason why I didn’t grab the bug and squish it was because I thought their insides were disgusting. But, I’m a believe of Bear Grylls and I’ve even swallowed a blue morpho butterfly raw, so it’s not really a big deal, but I’m just too lazy to wash my hands today.

I explained to Winnie why I called the beetle “Wim” and she understood, but then frowned:

“Now, there’s one more thing that’s easy to confuse with me. First it was Zhuang Ni, now there’s Wim. How come it’s so hard for me to use the nickname ‘Winnie’?”

“It’s not really that confusing, is it?” I offered my opinion.

“Tsk.” Winnie clicked her tongue, “Why are you saying it’s not confusing when you just got it mixed up earlier? In a couple of days, everyone will be spreading a rumor that ‘Winnie’ of 28 Middle school wears black stockings every day and that she was strangled by the campus boss. Since you must have killed the bug to protect Xiao Qin…”

“Hey, I don’t think strangling bugs and strangling your female classmates are even comparable. Also, do you think that Zhuang Ni’s signature of wearing black stockings will be linked to you? Isn’t your skin brown?”

“That’s hard to say.” Since it was hotter, Winnie was back in her short shirt and hot pants.

“My skin is that color because it’s tanned, so there’s a clear line separating my tanned skin, so you can call it my own stockings… damn, I can’t believe I have more and more things in common with Zhuang Mu…”

I don’t think that’s even close. Also, it’s Zhuang Ni, not Zhuang Mu. I think you’re the one who mixes up other people’s names the easiest.

Winnie talked about her groundless fears with us for a while, like what should she do if the stupid things done by Zhuang Ni was linked to her? I think Zhuang Ni should be the one afraid of people getting you two mixed up, because Winnie does much more stupid things than Zhuang Ni.

Like trying to use a half-full bottle of water as a seat and almost giving herself a rectum examination. Or tying her shoes too hastily and accidentally tying the laces of both feet together, then taking a fall immediately after getting up…

Finally, back to the topic of bugs, Winnie gave Xiao Qin an idea. If she wanted to train herself to not be afraid of bugs, you can catch the bugs put them in a transparent glass bottle. If you keep looking at them every day, you will get used to it and won’t be afraid of them anymore.

“No way.” Xiao Qin shook her head, “If I do that, I’ll even become afraid of glass bottles.”

“Xiao Qin, you have to be strong.” Winnie shook Xiao Qin’s shoulder, “If you’re that afraid of bugs, how are you going to survive if the Earth is overrun by the bugs from Alien, District 9, Men in Black, and StarCraft?”

“Can you survive if you’re not afraid of bugs.” I couldn’t help but say, “All those bugs in the examples you listed eat people, except for ‘District 9’, right?”

“Ugh.” Winnie lifted her arm and gestured, “If you’re not afraid of bugs, you can take a submachine gun and fight to the death when the bugs invade. We can even surrender if we can’t beat them. I’m also willing to accept being a server as long as they don’t eat me.”

Where is your integrity, are you already prepared to become a traitor? Also, I don’t think it would be easy to serve those bugs. What if one day you spilled some juice on the guests, then you would be turned from a waitress into the signature dish.

Maybe the menu of the restaurant would be something like this:

1) Human BBQ Buns

2) Husband and Wife Lungs

3) Beijing Roast Human (guaranteed no genetically modified humans)

4) Orleans Baked Leg Quarters (your choice of Asian, African, or European)

5) Server (please help yourself, but please don’t soil the floor)

As I was imagining Winnie as a server being eaten by alien bugs, Xiao Qin and Winnie suddenly changed the topic and began talking about ‘Cthulhu also wants love’.

“Xiao Qin, I have an idea.” Winnie said, “Didn’t you say it’s hard to continue the plot after Cthulhu went back in the hospital again? Why don’t we let alien bugs invade earth, then Cthulhu can act as the protector of the earth and fight with them.”

Cthulhu is an evil god! He himself probably came from another planet! Those alien bugs would probably be his fellow countrymen. Why would Cthulhu want to protect Earth? Also, Xiao Qin’s manga have already went from romance to comedy, so if you add an alien invasion, would it be an interstellar war, or transformed into a super saiyan or something like the champion of the universe?

“It is a good idea…” Xiao Qin said, “I really can’t think of a plot after chapter 5, but I can’t draw bugs. I’d scare myself if I drew those lifelike bugs on paper.”

Please take away the word “lifelike”. Everything you draw, from bugs, to Cthulhu, Dagon, Hydra, the doctor… are all basically the same shape. The readers have to guess, either through small details (like tentacles, beards) or through the plot, to figure out what you’re trying to draw.

“Don’t worry, I have an idea.” The very reliable Winnie came up with another idea, “Did you know, Xiao Qin, that in H-manga, a black bar is often used to block the male organ…”

What’s the point of bringing this up now, I know you’ve read not only H-manga but also watched porn, but there’s no need to show off in front of Xiao Qin.

“That’s why.” Winnie shook her head and said, “Xiao Qin, you just need to draw a black strip to cover up the bugs. At most, you can write the word ‘bug’ in white on the black strip, and everyone will understand that it’s the bugs attacking… if H-manga can do it, then we can do it too.”

“Huh, would that work?” Xiao Qin’s eyes widened, “Winnie, you’re so smart, now I don’t need to worry about the plot of the 6th chapter.”

I think we need to be worried about the intelligence of the two of you. Are you sure that a thick black strip coming down from the spaceship will be interpreted by the readers as an “insect attack”, and not a “male sex organ attack”?

Cthulhu, who was shaped like a potato and covered with octopus tentacles, is already super obscene, but to have him fight with countless large black strips… what a horrible scene. Apologize to the readers whose eyes are about to be ruined by you guys, and to Lovecraft, the founder of the Cthulhu mythos, and to the “God of Manga” Tezuka.

Putting aside the exchange between Celery-sensei and her assistant Winnie, we had our first computer class of our third year in the afternoon.

It was very strange to have a weekly computer class in our third year. I don’t know if they deliberately arranged it because they cancelled all our art and music classes, so they wanted to give everyone a chance to take a break.

According to Liu HuaiShui, when class 2 had their computer class, the teacher instructed: “You can rest or use the internet as long as you don’t talk and disturb the other classes.”

In addition, he also specifically pointed out: “The computer classroom has cameras installed, so don’t watch anything you shouldn’t be watching.”

In private, he also complained to other teachers, “Nowadays, students are really different from the past. I actually caught some girls watching porn on the computer during class, what can I even say?”

Don’t tell me the girl you caught watching porn was Winnie? In our second year, she would sometimes sit in an isolated area, don’t tell me she was doing that.

When I walked into the computer classroom, there weren’t many people inside. There were only a few bookworms doing practice problems at their desks, also the class leader arrived first.

After summer vacation, the storage cabinet in the corner of the computer classroom was very dirty. The class leader couldn’t stand looking at it and was cleaning it.

The class leader opened the cabinet door to wipe the dust, and I saw a few white coats hanging in the cabinet which also accumulated a lot of dust.

I heard from my dad that computers used to be very expensive, and one of the things that computers were most afraid of was dust. So, when they went into the computer room they had to wear foot covers and some places will ask you to wear a white lab coat.

Nowadays, computers are cheaper and more resistant, so it doesn’t really matter anymore. Everyone usually wears casual clothes to the computer classroom, but there are still a few white coats from the old days hanging in the cabinet.

The class leader took the white coats out, held them up to the sunlight, and gently wiped them down with a paper towel, making sure to keep them spotless for her own peace of mind.

I felt that I should do what I could to help, so I walked over and asked:

“Class leader, it looks tiring doing it alone, do you need help? Let me know if you need any help…”

The class leader turned, hesitated for a moment, then nodded. She extended a hand towards me, and said in a calm tone, “If you want to help, marry me.”

Wh-, what? What did you say? My heart’s racing, please don’t launch surprise attacks on me, okay?

The computer classroom isn’t empty! Are you not embarrassed saying that in front of others? When did you become so direct?

Even if you did have this intention, it should be me asking you to marry me.