Chapter 62 – From the Shadows

"I give up."

The declaration hung in the bar's air.

Noxx turned slowly.

"…What?"

Her voice came out broken. As though she wasn't sure she had heard correctly. As though part of her was waiting for Matt to say it was a joke, that he had misspoken, that he had actually said something else.

"W-what did you say?"

Matt turned the empty glass in his hands.

"That I give up," Matt said, calmly.

Noxx stood there looking at him, unmoving.

She opened her mouth. She was going to say something. She was going to talk about his family, about his mother, his sister, the promise, everything Matt had been chasing for months.

She was going to remind him why he couldn't give up, why he had held on all this time, why—

But Matt kept talking before she could begin.

"Listen to me," he said. "Don't misunderstand."

Matt set the glass on the bar.

"I'm not giving up because I stopped caring. I'm giving up because chasing that goal blindly, while I'm with you two, while I'm trapped here… it's only going to hurt everyone."

Matt looked at both of them.

"You two. And my family, when I get there."

Noxx frowned.

"Hurt? How?"

Matt took a slow breath.

"Do you remember the report I read when Iris brought me in? The one the queen gave me."

Noxx nodded slowly.

"Somewhat," she said. "I didn't pay much attention to it…"

"I did." Matt rested his elbows on the bar. "I read the whole thing. Twice. And it's been going around in my head ever since."

Matt was quiet for a moment, arranging the words.

"The document said a lot of things. That there's a rebel clan. That they have a strange kind of sorcery that breaks blood oaths. That's why the queen needs me — to use me as a weapon against them."

Matt moved his hand across the bar.

"But that wasn't the part that mattered to me. The part that mattered was something else. The part that talked about how all of this holds together."

He looked up.

"The queen doesn't rule alone, Noxx."

"She doesn't?"

"No." Matt shook his head. "There are others. Other powerful vampires. The noble houses. Six of them, according to the report. Each one with its own matriarch, its bloodline, its army, its own interests. Entire families that have been alive for centuries, with power you can't even imagine. And they're all watching, all the time, waiting."

"Waiting for what?"

"An opportunity." Matt lowered his voice. "The queen keeps them in line because she's stronger than all of them put together. She has the purest bloodline. That's why no one dares to move while she's sitting on the throne. It's like… a balance. They all hate each other, they all want more power, but no one lifts a finger because they know the queen will crush them if they try."

Matt pressed his lips together.

"So think about it. Say I do it. Say I kill the queen. Kill Iris. Get rid of them both."

Matt moved his hand across the bar, as though arranging invisible pieces.

"The throne is empty. The purest bloodline is broken. And suddenly all those houses that spent centuries waiting have their chance. They move. Against each other, yes. But they'll also come looking for whoever is responsible. They'll come looking for the one who killed the queen."

Noxx looked at Matt.

"…They'd come after you."

"Yes," Matt confirmed. "All of them. Not because they particularly hate me. I'm part of the royal bloodline. I got out of that cave with something no one had ever managed before. Whoever has me has an advantage over the others. So even if I kill the queen, I don't become free. I become the prize. The target of all of them at once."

Noxx said nothing.

"So then what do I do?" Matt let out a short, humorless laugh. "Kill all of them too? All six houses? The clans? Every powerful vampire who might come looking for me?"

Matt shook his head.

"Even if I could — even if I had the strength for it — let's say I kill them all. Then what?"

"Then what?"

"There's always going to be someone left."

Matt looked at Noxx.

"A daughter. A sister. An apprentice who happened to be far away that day. Someone who survived, and who will show up someday — ten years from now, fifty, a hundred — looking for revenge for everything I did. And I'm not going to die of old age, Noxx. I'm part vampire now. I'm going to live a long time. Long enough for every outstanding debt to come back and knock on the door."

Matt stared at the bar.

"It doesn't matter how I look at it," he said. "It doesn't matter how many times I run the numbers. It always ends the same way."

Matt pressed his lips together.

"I'm screwed."

The bar went quiet.

Noxx opened her mouth to respond, but stayed silent. She looked for something. A crack. An error in the reasoning.

A way out that Matt hadn't seen.

She went back over everything he'd said, searching for the weak point, the but, the place to slip a different idea in.

She didn't find one.

Because he was right.

Killing the queen wouldn't free him.

It would condemn him.

Noxx lowered her eyes to the bar floor, without words.

And then a cheerful voice broke the silence.

"Ha!"

Both of them turned their heads.

The blonde had gotten off her stool and was standing with her feet apart, fists clenched, both arms flexed upward, showing off muscles she didn't actually have.

"Don't worry, master!" she said, with an enormous smile. "I'm very strong! Super strong! If anyone comes to bother you, I'll handle it! I'll tear them all apart! The houses, the clans, everyone! It doesn't matter how many there are or how much time passes!"

Matt looked at her and let out a small laugh.

"You're still too young to understand."

The blonde dropped her arms, offended.

"I'm not young! I'm strong!"

"I didn't say you weren't."

"I'm strong! Very strong! The strongest!"

The blonde flexed her arms again, clenching her teeth to look more threatening.

"I can take on anyone who gets close! Let them come! Let all of them come!"

Matt shook his head, still with that half-tired smile.

"I don't doubt your strength," he answered. "I really don't. You're probably stronger than I think. The problem isn't your strength."

"Then what?"

"The consequences."

The blonde tilted her head, not understanding.

Matt sighed and explained it more slowly.

"Look. With you and Noxx watching over me, it's very hard for me to die. I know that. Between your strength, the ego-weapons, the regeneration, the two pistols… as long as you're with me, surviving isn't the problem. I'm going to be fine."

Matt lowered his voice.

"But my family doesn't have that. My mother doesn't have a blonde watching over her. My sister doesn't have ego-weapons. My friends don't have anything. They're normal humans, in a normal world, with no idea any of this exists."

The blonde went quiet.

"If I start a war," Matt went on, "I'm going to survive. But they won't. The vampires that come looking for me won't attack me directly, because they know that's the hard way. They'll go for the easy side. They'll go after them. After the people who can't defend themselves. And I can't be in two worlds at once to protect everyone."

Matt tightened his grip on the empty glass.

"That's why it's not about strength. No matter how strong you are, no matter how strong I am, there's always going to be someone weak on the other side paying the price."

He lowered his head.

"So the best thing I can do right now… is stop fighting. Stop planning impossible escapes. And start figuring out how to live here, and survive without dragging anyone else down with me."

"Wait, wait!"

Matt looked up.

The blonde's eyes were wide.

"I know! I know what to do!" She started bouncing in place. "If the problem is that the queen's in charge, and that's why you can't do anything… then become the one who's in charge yourself! Like her!"

Matt blinked, confused.

"What?"

"Yes! Think about it!"

The blonde moved up to the bar, pressing her hands to the edge, talking fast.

"The queen has your family under watch all the time, right? She knows where they live, she knows what they eat, she knows everything. That's how she can threaten you with them."

The blonde held up a finger.

"But if you were the one in charge here, you could do the same thing — in reverse! You could watch over them! Protect them from the shadows! Without them knowing anything! Without anyone knowing you're behind it!"

Matt went still.

"If you're the one running the place," the blonde went on, getting more excited by the second, "no one can use your family against you, because you control everyone who could do it. You decide who gets near them and who doesn't. You protect them without them having to find out anything strange. They can just keep living their normal lives, happy, without knowing that the one secretly watching over them is you!"

The blonde pressed her hands together.

"You just have to become the one in charge of all of this!"

The blonde finished talking, smiling, waiting — braced, deep down, for Matt to say the usual.

"Shut up."

"That's stupid."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

The blonde already had her shoulders slightly hunched, ready to take the hit.

But Matt didn't say any of that.

He looked at her for a moment. Then looked down at the bar, thoughtful, and let out a low laugh.

"…That could be an option."

The blonde's head snapped up.

"Huh?"

Matt didn't answer right away. He kept staring at the empty glass, turning the idea over.

It was a ridiculous idea. Said by the blonde, with that cheerful voice and those little hops, it sounded like something a child would blurt out.

But underneath the silly packaging was something he couldn't dismiss.

Something that, the more he thought about it, seemed less and less stupid.

Protect from the inside instead of escaping from the outside.

Control the problem instead of running from it.

What made him uncomfortable was who this idea reminded him of.

The queen.

The woman who had him locked up. Who had his family under watch. Who moved people like pieces and decided who lived how.

The blonde was proposing, without realizing it, that he become exactly what he hated most.

And yet.

"I'm not saying it's easy," Matt clarified, still looking at the bar. "Becoming 'the one in charge' in a place full of vampires who have more influence than me isn't something you pull off overnight. It's probably impossible. And honestly, the idea of ending up like the queen makes me sick."

Matt tilted his head.

"But the underlying logic isn't stupid."

The blonde was quiet for a second.

And then she inflated with pride from head to toe.

"I knew it!" She puffed out her chest, smiling ear to ear. "I'm very smart! The smartest! And the strongest!"

"Hey, don't get too full of yourself."

"Master!"

The blonde opened her arms and took a step toward Matt.

"Hug me! I deserve it! I had a good idea! Hug me!"

Matt raised a hand, stopping her before she got there.

"Don't push it."

"But—!"

"I'm trying to treat you better. Not to spoil you." Matt looked at her. "And you're naked. Get dressed first, and then we can talk about hugs."

The blonde puffed out her cheeks, pouted, and stayed where she was.

"…Cheapskate," she muttered.

Matt didn't dignify that with a response. He just shook his head, with something close to a smile still on his face.

And then Noxx spoke.

She had been quiet the whole time, listening, processing.

The urge to cry from before was gone from her eyes. Now she looked at him with an expression that was steadier, more grounded — though still with a trace of caution.

"And what are you planning to do now?" she asked. "Specifically. Not the big goal of becoming 'the one in charge.' That sounds like years. I mean now. Today. Tomorrow. Where does something like that even start?"

Matt looked at her.

"With the most basic thing," he said. "The queen."

Noxx waited.

"I can't plan anything while she has me locked in her room, watching me every second, counting my push-ups, watching me sleep."

Matt pressed both hands to the bar.

"I need to move. I need information. I need to learn the castle, the houses, the people, the rules of this place. And to have any of that, I first need her to loosen the leash a little. To trust me. To believe that the Matt in front of her is someone predictable and manageable."

Matt lowered his voice.

"And that's where you come in."

Noxx blinked.

"Me?"

"We're going to start taking turns with the body."

Noxx's eyes opened slightly.

"Hold on. What?"

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Each chapter is between 2,000 and 4,000 words long!!!!