I Don't Want To Be Loved

Chapter 53: For Dimitri’s Sake

The next day.

In the early morning, the port was crowded with thousands of people. There, Rihannan exchanged her last greetings with her uncle.

“I still can’t believe I’m sending you off. What’s more… it’s all too sudden. I don’t know how I’ll explain this to Dimi,” the marquis lamented.

Dimitri was still locked in prison and Rihannan did not know when he would be released, only that after she leaves for Arundell will the royal family release him and only then would he learn of her departure.

“I’ve put too much burden on you, uncle.” Rihannan wore an apologetic look. She’s sure her uncle would bear Dimitri’s sorrows and fits of anger, hurling out harsh words upon learning of the sudden news. If there was any other way, then she would stay… but…

“I left a letter saying it was my choice but I don’t think he’ll listen. I’m sorry…”

“You’re talking nonsense. I know you did this for Dimitri, but…” He drew Rihannan into his embrace and gave her a tight hug. “Don’t worry too much, alright? We’ll find a way.”

Rihannan nodded. She had no great expectation for what he said. Only if Dimitri were to become king a year from now would everything be solved.

“…..I’ll be going now. Please take good care of Mary.”

Rihannan managed to convince Mary to stay despite her heavy sorrow of tears. Mary hanged on to her until departure. It’d only be difficult for Mary. She had a family now and was married to a man in Chrichton. And if something were to happen to her in Arundell, Mary would be wrought with grief.

It was best that she stay in Chrichton.

“Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of her.”

With the marquis’s assurance, Rihannan nodded and said her final farewell.

“Then… goodbye, uncle.”

Rihannan turned around and began walking. Talking any further would only make it harder for the both of them.

“Rihannan!”

A loud voice echoed from behind. Rihannan turned around and saw Helena; she walked with a limp. She was walking on crutches, her arms wrapped around with bandages. The old nanny was beside her.

When Helena stood in front of Rihannan, she threw everything away and flopped down on the floor bursting in tears. “….Rhia… I’m so sorry!”

Rihannan did not reply to her desperate apology. She stood there like a stone, like a statue as she looked at Helena. She recalled the anger she felt at the time but she managed to settle it back down… little by little. Why did Helena come, she thought. Was it to settle down her conscience or the extreme selfishness of wanting forgiveness?

Helena wept as she looked at Rihannan, her face growing increasingly stiff. “I… I didn’t push you into the fray and turned you away… I’m telling you… please believe me…!”

Her nanny who stood by her side was in tears. “I mean it, Miss Rihannan… she wanted to help you somehow, but she could not because she was locked in her room. She ended up hurting herself trying to sneak out.”

Rihannan looked at her injured leg. It was wrapped around with a cast.

“She tried to escape from the window but she missed a step and fell down. Fortunately, she didn’t get hurt badly, otherwise…”

Rihannan thought it might have been a false lie, but there was a wound imprinted on Helena’s body. It looked like a deep wound. Maybe a scar would appear later on.

“Father barely allowed me to meet you when you were about to leave, Rhia… I… I really don’t know what to tell you…”

She, who had never bowed to anyone except for her family, dropped her head in front of Rihannan. A nearby passerby looked at their princess in astonishment. Helena did not care.

Rihannan sighed. “Helena…”

Helena’s pale green eyes widened. She’d always ask Rihannan to call her by her first name, but she was adamant on refusing and would stick to calling her princess as if she wanted to keep a distance from her, from everyone. It was the first time Rihannan called her name.

“Rhia?”

Rihannan sat in front of her. She sat there, indifferent to the people around her and pushed Helena’s flowing platinum blonde hair over her ears. Helena burst in tears again feeling Rihannan’s usual affection.

“Rhia…”

Rihannan gave Helena a warm hug. She cried like a child in Rihannan’s arms.

“Helena, I don’t hate you. I never did. And… I’m sorry too,” Rihannan whispered softly.

Helena sniffed. “…..What are you sorry about?”

“I’ve done one thing wrong to you and I can never tell you. So let’s just say that I chose to go to Arundell on my own will instead of letting you go. You don’t have to feel guilty.”

“What… I don’t understand… no matter how much I…”

Rihannan looked down and smiled sadly.

She knows her family would soon die of a pandemic and she never intended to reveal it. They’d die a painful death and Helena was sure to experience miserable pain. For Dimitri’s sake, for him to become king… she would never reveal the future.

And like this…

They no longer owe each other anything.

“Now go back to the palace, Helena. Goodbye…”

Rihannan let go of Helena and walked away.

Helena got up and tried to reach out to her friend, but her injured leg prevented her.

“Rhia…”