I Don't Want To Be Loved

Chapter 52: Igor’s Regret

Rihannan and Igor exchanged the documents they’d written and read through them before signing. Finally, when the storm was over, Rihannan relaxed, her strength drained away. Dimitri’s life was saved and she, too, would gain complete freedom within a year.

But suddenly, her face darkened soon as she remembered Dimitri. She worried for him, worried that he may try to escape.

“Your Majesty, may I ask you one more favor?”

***

Basil quietly watched the boat carrying Rihannan back to the port. Then he looked to Igor who stood next to him. He’d been quiet as of late. Basil thought he’d be happy to finally meet his first love but he looks as if he’d explode at any minute.

With this thought lingering in his mind, Basil backed away a little. He learned from past experience that it was best to avoid him at all times. Who knows what nonsense the black-haired beast would make him do. But the moment he moved out of his sight, Igor broke the silence.

“Basil.”

“Ye… yes, Your Majesty!” Basil quickly ran to his side. “Just give me your orders. Whatever it is…”

“Chrichton. Find any rumors going on from Chrichton. I want any leaks or information you can find.”

“Eh?” Basil was frightened and surprised, two sets of emotions intermingling as one. Leaks from Chrichton? Was he sending him on an espionage spy mission to Chrichton’s palace?

“But Your Majesty… I still have a baby waiting…”

“Send someone to find out exactly what stories and events are going on in their palace and regarding the Crown Prince in regards to the state national marriage.”

Basil gave a sigh of relief. “Oh, that’s what you meant. Yes, Your Majesty. Some of our men have already been planted. I’ll have someone send me the details right away.”

Basil quickly ran away from Igor on the pretext of hurrying to work. Even long after he left, Igor’s eyes remained on the small boat floating on the sea.

“Ha…” Igor burst out into a despondent laugh; it was a laugh full of shame and disgrace.

He had no intention of accepting her proposal, but he found himself agreeing to her every offer. The moment he saw her appearance, her gentle features, he knew he could not say no. How could he? If he did anything out of character, she’d go and throw herself into the sea…

A fatal death…

His head collapsed to his hands, memories full of dreadfulness running through. It was imprinted in his mind and something he could never forget… in a damp, dark prison, pieces of the broken bottle laid scattered all over the ground… white clothes soaked in a pool of blood… and a body of an angelic woman lying deathly still…

Each time he thought of that figure, deep regret flashed through his aching heart and the only means he could contain that bitter regret of his was to destroy and kill anything in his path… he wished he could retract all the horrid things he had ever said. They were never a reflection of her but his inner demons. In his misplaced entitlement, he gave her passive-aggressive rage. His guilt was like gasoline in his guts; his insides dying slowly in the toxicity and needing no more than a spark to set it ablaze. That regret, it burned him out so badly that there was nothing left but a shell, an outline of a person… only blood and death could fill that void of perfect regret and guilt.

His hands trembled, covering his face to calm his mind as he watched that boat reach the port. Only after confirming the silver-haired woman landed safely in the port and was transferred to the carriage and to the royal palace did he go back to his cabin.