Chapter 934: A Strange Bitch, A Strange Guy, A Strange Guy (19)

There’s a word: side effect.

It means an additional effect—something other than the intended result—so it uses the character for “secondary,” not “not.”

A lot of people misunderstand it and think it uses the character for “not,” because they assume “side effect” automatically means a bad effect, but that’s not how it works. Whether it’s good or bad, if an unintended result pops out, that’s a side effect.

A classic example of side effects was those “vitality tonics” back in Qing’s hometown. Originally, they were heart medicine—formulas meant to make your heart pound hard and strong—but once they got made, somehow your junk got beefier too? You didn’t die?

Anyway.

Martial arts, big or small, always come with side effects.

Among them, there were whole lines of martial arts whose side effects included beauty enhancement. People bundled those together and called them Fairy Arts.

To be fair, even “Fairy Arts” usually weren’t that dramatic. They smoothed the skin, erased blemishes, softened wrinkles, brightened complexion—stuff like that.

But in everything in the world, even within a category, there’s always some extreme outlier that sticks out.

A staggering divine art that sprinted at the very edge of Fairy Arts.

That was the Lunar Jade Maiden Divine Art.

As for the efficacy—Seol Garyeon, the Society Master of the Seol Family Trading House, personally vouched for it. Who in the world could have guessed that the alluring, dignified lady boss of such a proper merchant society was actually swinging something vicious down below—(this is Seol Family scum’s one-sided claim and there is no evidence)—

That said, that Seol Family bastard wasn’t ugly to begin with, so of course the effect looked miraculous on him.

But Ugly Hunchback Man...

Ugh. Uuugh. Regrettable.

Still, his current face wasn’t even a face from the human world, so wouldn’t it at least turn him into something human-adjacent?

But no matter how insane the Lunar Jade Maiden Divine Art was... could it really save that?

If you add “femininity” to that face, it wouldn’t get pretty—it would turn into something like the palace eunuchs: a grotesque man cross-dressed as a woman.

Or worse, it could twist even further and become some deeper-warped Ugly Hunchback Man from the underworld.

Qing tried to estimate it, but it was such a complete disaster zone she couldn’t even begin to judge.

Meanwhile, Ugly Hunchback Man was panting—HFF, HFF—his shoulders rising and falling, his face flushing red then pale then red again, like if you left him alone a little longer he might burst into tears.

The mood turned strangely solemn. Even the vicious demon monsters didn’t dare to speak, just staring at him with a mix of disgust and pity—more like eight parts disgust, two parts pity.

“Forget it. I should’ve known better than to deal with you Central Plains bastards—shit-trash vermin. You fucking pieces of shit, poking people who were minding their own business, making a scene, staring like I’m some kind of idiot—fuck you...”

In that instant, Qing’s mind snapped wide awake.

Thinking about it... had Ugly Hunchback Man actually done something unforgivable?

It was Kim Heojung, living quietly alone under Changbai Mountain, having long since given up—his appearance twisted because he’d been tricked by his teacher.

Qing was the one who’d gone looking for demonic arts.

Sure, he’d gotten the wrong idea, screamed betrayal, charged in talking about killing her while spitting hatred for Central Plains people—but while that was still a crime, no one could really be sure whether he truly meant to kill her or just meant to beat her and drive her out.

If his evil karma was eighty-seven points and his appearance failed the “human” test but his evil karma still passed... then maybe it was just inferiority exploding, and maybe he hadn’t really been trying to kill her.

Of course, after the confession attack, that inferiority bundled up tight inside him had turned out to be ugly as hell.

But separately from that, the one who ultimately had their secret manual stolen was Kim Heojung.

He was just... a person who was ugly. No—very ugly. Ugly on the outside, ugly on the inside. And he’d just revealed that inner ugliness a little more boldly than most people ever do.

In the meantime, Kim Heojung turned and trudged away.

His back looked... desolate—

Well, not really. It was just an iceberg-like hunchback ridge retreating into the distance, so it didn’t look especially pitiful, but still.

“Hey, little Brother Kim. Where are you going?”

“I’m not doing it, fuck! I’m going home.”

Qing, the Heart-Eating Demon King, and the Sword Demon thought the same thing at the same time.

He’s pouting. That bastard is pouting. He’s pouting.

The Sword Demon hurriedly tried to soothe him.

“Little Brother Kim. I’m a man who would rather die than lie. Not for any noble reason—if I lie and get caught, I lose more, so it’s always more profitable to speak the truth from the start.”

“So what. What do you want?”

“So what I told you wasn’t a lie. The ones the Heavenly Flower Sword mentioned are people who carry the Cult’s critical responsibilities, so they were excluded from ‘my women’ from the beginning.”

“You said all women.”

“Even so, you have to exclude unit leaders, and the women unit leaders cherish. Isn’t that right? If you took in a woman, would it be fine for another unit leader to drag her away at will? Unit leaders should show each other some respect.”

“......”

“Besides that, there are plenty of women. Use them however you like. You can change women every day. Or treat them harshly. No believer would dare complain to a unit leader—well, as long as you don’t get caught by that older sister.”

“I don’t need them. They’ll see my face and say it’s disgusting anyway. Those bitches only care about scraps—if you handed them to me, I still wouldn’t eat them. Tell them to die.”

He was completely checked out.

Qing spun her brain again.

Mm. This isn’t... a terrible situation.

The Sword Demon wants to let me go. Not because he cares about me—because he wants to rip more martial arts out of me later. It’s selfish, purely for himself. But still, it benefits me.

The Heart-Eating Demon King is screaming about killing me, but... what can he actually do?

His left lung is sliced clean, he’s vomited blood over and over—at this point, his condition is beyond salvage.

The doctor who saved the “boiled princess” was a concern, but hadn’t the Sword Demon said the Heart-Eating Demon King would become the weakest Transcendent Realm master if it went on like this?

Meaning: the Heart-Eating Demon King was now the weakest Transcendent Realm master.

Still... you kill vermin when you can.

A Blood Cult seed, and a unit leader at that—if you don’t kill him now, who knows when the next chance comes.

Qing followed Kim Heojung’s back with regretful eyes.

If Ugly Hunchback Man helped, she could kill him.

If it went well, she could even get rid of that leech of a martial-arts robber too.

But she couldn’t.

It wasn’t right.

The Blood Cult tried to lure Ugly Hunchback Man and use him.

If Qing now tried to lure him with pretty words so she could kill the Heart-Eating Demon King, she’d just be dropping to the Blood Cult’s level.

He was someone who’d already cut ties with the world.

Drag him out because it benefits you—when you can’t take responsibility for him, can’t shoulder the consequences for him?

That wasn’t right.

You couldn’t do that.

She also couldn’t bargain with the Lunar Jade Maiden Divine Art.

Unless she could guarantee she’d make Kim Heojung look human-level no matter what—because there was still the chance it would just add femininity and make him even more monstrous.

Still... there was one thing she needed to make clear.

“Um, Sir Kim.”

“What. What do you want.”

“I—I’ll return the secret manual. I really wasn’t trying to steal it. Honestly, I’m not even 100% sure Gongryang Sayoon put it in my pack. I strongly suspect it, but like the Sword Demon said, it could’ve gotten mixed in by accident while she was grabbing snacks.”

Of course, “strongly suspect” meant “absolutely certain.”

A ‘surprise gift,’ she said. ‘I’ve secured my way to live,’ she said. Who wouldn’t hear that and think she planted it on purpose?

But the “surprise gift” could’ve been Ugly Hunchback Man’s special, genuinely delicious Goryeo cookies.

And “my way to live” could’ve meant she scouted a wall to smash through and escape.

“Forget it. I don’t need it.”

“But—”

“I said I don’t need it, so burn it, tear it up and eat it, do whatever. I’m sick of it. Dogshit martial arts. Fuck. Seriously, fuck...”

The way Kim Heojung answered was so curt it was obvious: yeah, he was fully pouting.

But Qing stopped him one more time.

“Ah, and also, sir.”

“WHAT. What now! Why!”

“I just... wanted to say I’m sorry. I went looking for you and ended up bothering you.”

“......Forget it.”

“Sir?”

Kim Heojung suddenly snapped and whirled back.

And in that instant—

The world vanished.

There’s a martial technique called sword-and-self unity: when a sword’s presence surpasses its owner, you stare at the sword and fail to see the person, and so the martial artist disappears, leaving only a single blade behind.

By the same principle—if a face’s beauty surpasses the world, you stare at the face and fail to see anything else.

The face replaces the world.

If you had to name it, it was the beauty of face-and-world unity!

Qing, veil removed, bowed her head respectfully.

“I’m truly sorry. I mean it.”

“......”

Kim Heojung stood there in silence for a long time, then turned away again.

Somehow, around the sides of that iceberg-like hunchback ridge, it looked like his shoulders had drooped—an optical illusion.

And then his back receded into the distance.

A short while later.

Qing bowed to the Sword Demon too.

“Then, sir, I’ll be taking my leave.”

“What!? You bitch—where do you think you’re going! I do not permit—”

“Shut up. Why do you get to decide that? If you don’t want to die, keep your mouth shut. I wiped the floor with you and you’re still talking. Losers shut up, okay?”

Strong to the strong, weak to the weak—Qing only bows her head to the strong!

To the weak, she’s cold and cruel—a piece of human trash.

That’s Seomun Cheong.

How dare a weak bastard flap his mouth?

“W-what—what did you— ngh—”

The Heart-Eating Demon King’s mouth worked soundlessly, then maybe his internal injury surged again—he clawed at his solar plexus.

Qing turned calmly.

And that was that—yeah. She should never even look toward Changbai again. She was sick of this place.

But then—

“Stop. I’ve changed my mind.”

The Sword Demon’s voice caught Qing by the collar.

“Huh. Sir?”

“Thinking it over, why do I need to let you go? I can just bring you into the Cult and train together.”

The Sword Demon changed his mind!

Damn it—why is this bastard suddenly swerving like this?

But Qing was a seasoned croucher. She knew the virtue of humility—how to bow in front of the strong.

“U-um, sir? Even when you fish, you’re supposed to release the small fry. That way they grow big and come back, right? If you let me go, won’t I grow by eating divine arts and come back?”

“No. Brother Yu was right. You’re too dangerous. And you already know plenty of righteous faction divine arts, don’t you.”

“Hold on—don’t you know you can’t take martial arts by force? If I recite fake verses, you’ll trigger demon deviation, you know?”

“If you cooperate, I’ll promise you a comfortable rest of your life. After we purge the Central Plains, if your relatives and friends are still alive, I’ll do the same for them. Of course, I can’t overlook them attacking during the conquest.”

It was an offer with real sincerity.

From the Blood Cult’s standpoint, it was generous to the point of absurdity.

But who cares?

“You know that won’t work. I’d rather just die.”

“It’s not much different. Even if I let you go, the truly important righteous faction divine arts won’t be passed down to you anyway.”

Of course not.

Maybe back when she was clueless about Murim and recklessly memorizing Minor Water Demon Art, Tathagata Divine Palm, Emperor Sword Form like she had no fear—

But now Qing understood, at least vaguely, what those sect arts actually meant.

“So what—right now you want to do this? Even if you don’t care about me, you’re going to drag that weak old man along too? You’re going to let Brother Yu die? You’ll leave your niece an orphan?”

“Well. That probably won’t happen. After you left, I called my disciples back in.”

“Ah.”

No wonder.

Even though her right arm was recovering, even though she knew him, it still felt like the Three Brothers of Dogshit were just standing around dogshitting—

Because dragging time out wasn’t advantageous for her.

So Qing had to buy time.

She was confident in running. If she could stall a little longer, maybe she could force a breakthrough.

“U-um, sir? How can a martial artist shamelessly rely on numbers and leave their own weapon behind? Is that really acceptable?”

“Is it? Then fight me.”

“I’m Harmonization Realm and you’re Transcendent Realm. Would an adult fight a child?”

“Speak properly. Why do demon practitioners always act like I’m at Harmonization Realm? I didn’t climb easily like you did, so show some respect. Though... as a great demon practitioner, you might indeed qualify to be called Harmonization Realm.”

“Damn it, stop calling me a great demon practitioner.”

“No need to stall anymore. Do you think I don’t know your intentions? My disciples will have prepared traps anyway—so even if you run in perfect condition, you can’t guarantee your escape.”

What a meticulous old bastard.

As Qing frowned—

“Kids. Training time. We should’ve done more live-capture drills. Well, as long as she’s alive it’s fine—cutting off her arms and legs won’t matter.”

Even if he pretended to be mild, a Blood Cult great demon monster was still a great demon monster.

SHHK... SHHK... all around them, the sound of leaves being brushed as people closed in.

If they’d just rushed her, it would’ve been better.

Instead, Blood Cultists holding nets watched from a distance with tense eyes—an absurdly irritating situation.

Nets. These bastards call themselves martial artists and they’re bringing nets—seriously, I should rip their dicks off. Trash.

“Now. It’s unfortunate, but I’m going. Brother Yu, tend your internal injuries. This is an event for our Honored-Sword Division, so even you can’t interfere. Understood?”

“......Understood.”

And then the Sword Demon gave Qing a vicious smile.

“Come on, then. Let’s play.”

Qing grit her teeth and raised her sword.

That was when—

“Wait!”

This voice!?

Qing’s head snapped around.

There, far off, perched sharply atop a tree—

A figure that hardly looked human.

The Ugly Hunchback Man who’d left in a pout—

Kim Heojung, returning!

A mountainous ridge rising behind him, his face backlit—frankly, backlit was probably an improvement.

Qing’s face lit up with relief.

“Sir Kim! Don’t tell me—you came to help!?”

Kim Heojung’s face twisted into a grin.

With that face, it looked thoroughly vile, but... maybe he was trying to smile in a cool way. Maybe.

“No. I came back because I thought I might never get another chance like this. You’re in danger, aren’t you? Spend just one night with me. Then I’ll help you.”

Ah. No—yeah.

That grin really was vile.

Qing’s face soured hard.

Now he wasn’t even trying to hide that ugly, vile inner self anymore.

What the hell. What the hell—why is this bastard suddenly showing up all “corrupted” like this?