Chapter 933: A Strange Bitch, A Strange Guy, A Strange Guy (18)

Gongryang Sayoon got chewed up and thoroughly rattled by a single confession attack—so panicked she actually smashed through a wall and fled.

“Ah, don’t worry about what you said. Your horse went after her too, so with her personality, she’ll definitely return it to you.”

“Yeopo? I mean—I wasn’t worried about Yeopo. No, more importantly, I’m seriously wronged here, okay? I’ve mastered how many divine arts—why would I go out of my way to learn a martial art that turns me into a hunchback? Gongryang Sayoon packed my stuff for me, so I accepted it, and there was a secret manual in there!”

“I’m not a hunchback! That’s the authentic original!”

“Anyway. It’s all a misunderstanding, a misunderstanding. Here, I’ll give the secret manual right back. Sir, just calm down, calm down. Here—take a deep breath. Inh—SWWW—‘exhale’—HAAA.”

“R-right now I—”

“Come on, copy me. Inh—SSSS—HAAA.”

“......”

Kim Heojung’s twisted expression, in that instant, shifted into something... dumber.

No one would ever know why.

The most plausible theory was that Qing’s bursting chest swelled even more and he got scared it might actually go BOOM, so he was watching with extreme focus—

“Okay, feeling calmer? One more time? Inh—SSSS—‘one, two, three’—HAAAA.”

And on top of that, she spoke while holding a lungful of air, her voice leaking out like a breeze—and that “one, two, three” part was, for a man, lethal levels of sensual.

“K-khmm.”

“Okay, sir. Feeling calm? I know it’s hard to believe me when I say this, but that secret manual is something Gongryang Sayoon put in my pack. I didn’t steal it.”

And while Kim Heojung—already awkward from his posture—somehow looked even more awkward, the Sword Demon cut in.

“Well. I’ve known that one a long time, but she has no interest in anything except food. Staying at a house and stealing the entire family’s snacks to stash elsewhere—that was always her thing. But secret manuals? No. Why would she steal a secret manual?”

Huh. So Gongryang Sayoon was a snack thief.

They say birds of a feather flock together—martial-arts robber and snack thief. Yeah. That tracks.

“How would I know? She could’ve left it with me because she planned to give it to you later.”

“Hah. Her? Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Then what is it?”

“What I mean is, she had no motive to steal a secret manual. But you? You’ve already mastered all kinds of demonic arts—you’re a great demon practitioner even among demon practitioners, and you still weren’t satisfied, so you came all the way to this bleak frontier backwater. You were already fully prepared to steal a secret manual.”

“Stop calling me a great demon practitioner. It wasn’t me!”

“You keep saying it wasn’t you, but you can’t prove it, can you?”

“Damn it, I didn’t do it—what am I supposed to prove? Telling an innocent person to prove their innocence—what kind of bullshit is that? There’s no bigger bullshit in the world.”

“But the proof you stole it is perfectly clear. Isn’t the fact that the secret manual was inside your pack the proof? Plain as day, indisputable, eight or nine out of ten—no, ten out of ten—you’re the culprit.”

“No, but—why is the Sword Demon suddenly doing deductions like this? Unlike a certain someone, it’s annoyingly plausible, too. I’m so wronged I could die. If I die from how wronged I am, will you believe me then?”

The Sword Demon went, “Hm,” and rubbed his chin.

“That would be inconvenient. Who would pass down my martial arts to me then? Mm... thinking about it, if it wasn’t you, then it wasn’t. She could’ve dropped it there while sweeping up snacks.”

He flipped his stance instantly.

But Qing’s eyes turned into a perfectly horizontal line.

My martial arts? Why the hell are they your martial arts? This old bastard really, truly thinks martial arts were “left with him.” Seriously—if he wasn’t Transcendent Realm, I’d have broken all four of his limbs and braided them like rope—

“HALT!!!”

The Sword Demon suddenly unleashed a lion’s roar, and Qing jolted, startled out of her impure thoughts.

But there’d been someone thinking something even more impure.

“HURK!”

The Heart-Eating Demon King vomited blood.

“You—y-you bastard! If you’re going to flirt, do it in moderation! At the very least don’t interfere, you disgusting freak!”

“Then Brother Yu should focus on recovery instead of pulling cheap tricks. Things are going well—why are you trying to dump ashes on the fire?”

“Going well my ass! What’s going well!?”

Qing immediately grasped what had happened.

The conversation had gotten so insane her mind had briefly gone blank—and in that gap, it looked like the Heart-Eating Demon King tried to launch a sneak attack.

The Sword Demon blocked him, and the Heart-Eating Demon King’s internal injury flared again—so he coughed up blood.

And wow, that bastard still looked energetic even while spilling blood nonstop. Is excessive blood loss just... not a thing at the Transcendent Realm?

“Tsk. Brother Yu’s problem is impatience. Look at you—even now. Training martial arts is hard, so you spent every day eating hearts and stacking internal power instead. And that’s why, even with that fierce internal power, you got stabbed by a green junior and you’re wheezing like this. I’ve got a plan that satisfies everyone—if you’d just wait a little.”

“W-what the hell—this bastard—damn it, I let it slide and you just kept pushing—fuck, you’re dying to die, aren’t you!?”

The vibe was almost nice enough that Qing caught herself hoping they might actually start fighting each other—

But the Heart-Eating Demon King cursed like crazy and still stopped at just cursing, which meant he understood perfectly that if he fought now, he’d lose.

Wow. Legendary anger management, huh...

“Now, now. Listen. Brother Yu says we must eliminate the Heavenly Flower Sword right now to uproot future trouble for the Cult’s sake. The Heavenly Flower Sword doesn’t want to die. I need to receive martial arts from her. And little Brother Kim wants to take three wives and four concubines from a peerless beauty and drown in lust.”

Little Brother Kim? Since when did he become your little brother?

Answer: the Sword Demon respects Transcendent Realm martial artists and calls older ones “Brother” and younger ones “Little Brother”—

But Qing, who wasn’t operating on that logic, felt like her brain was turning inside out.

This is literally... the goddamn Three Brothers of Pure Misery.

A bastard who eats hearts and thinks he’s an emperor.

“Khm. Right. For the Cult’s future, we must execute that traitor at once. But it’s not only that. She must pay for daring to violate my daughter—my demonic princess.”

A robber whose eyes were only ever on martial arts.

“Don’t worry. There’s another method. You shouldn’t worry either. Would I let you die? I have a mountain of martial arts to receive.”

And a hunchback bastard crazy about women, who still doesn’t know his place and acts picky about it.

“Khm—no, ‘lust’—I absolutely did not have such impure intentions. I only wish to share true love with someone I genuinely connect with, live sweetly and peacefully for a long time... to realize that modest dream, that’s all.”

The way they were calling each other brother and little brother—like they were about to swear brotherhood under a peach tree—

No, what brotherhood? These bastards wouldn’t swear anything under a peach tree. They snapped some dog-peach tree, dog-kiwi tree, dog-hazelnut tree branches and formed the Three Brothers of Dogshit, that’s what.

“So here’s what we’ll do. Heavenly Flower Sword, you marry little Brother Kim here and set up house inside the Cult. Then you won’t become an obstacle to the Cult—so Brother Yu is satisfied. I can come at the proper time and receive martial arts—so I’m satisfied. Little Brother Kim gets tied to the world’s number-one beauty, so he’s satisfied. And you get to live too, don’t you?”

“What kind of bullshit is that! After what she did to my mercy, tearing her apart wouldn’t even be enough! At minimum I have to make her suffer the same pain—no, grudges are repaid tenfold! At minimum I have to boil that bitch ten times—”

“Now, now, Brother Yu. That would be righteous revenge, but think for a moment. ‘Make her suffer?’”

“H-huh?”

The Sword Demon glanced at Kim Heojung.

The Heart-Eating Demon King looked at Kim Heojung.

And then, like they’d rehearsed it, they nodded at the exact same time.

“Heh. That works. I permit it.”

Kim Heojung had just elevated “boil her ten times” versus “marry her” into a razor-close contest—

“No—what—who decided— I’d rather—”

Qing nearly bit her tongue and declared she’d rather die, but she snapped back to her senses.

Now wasn’t the time to throw a tantrum.

And in this situation, the only place she could possibly pry open a way out was—

Ugly Hunchback Kim Heojung.

No matter how much he was an ugly hunchback creep—crazy about women, picky, filthy—he wasn’t going to join the Blood Cult.

The Blood Cult was garbage—public enemy number one, so bad even the dark factions’ butcher scum recoiled from them.

“Khm. Hold on a moment. Great Hero Kim—what they call ‘the Cult’ is the Blood Cult, a pack of monsters who want to drown the human world in blood. They’re not people someone like you—a refined gentleman—should associate with. I don’t know what sweet lies they used to lure you, but—”

“Hmph. Now that you’re at a disadvantage, you suddenly change your expression and start spewing sweet lies. ‘Drown the world in blood’? That’s the lie you vile Central Plains bastards always tell when you purge innocent people. The Blood Cult is not that kind of heretical group. We merely carry a great cause: to erase the insect-like Central Plains bastards and build an earthly paradise where everyone is happy. Removing those violent, filthy, petty, wicked Central Plains barbarians—how is that not a benefit to the world?”

Ah. Right. This bastard hated Central Plains people.

Ugly. Hunchback. Woman-crazed. Picky. Filthy. And now racism too? Wow.

“It’s useless, so give it up. Little Brother Kim has decided to become the new unit leader of the Blood Cult. That means he’ll be able to take any woman in the Cult however he pleases. So if you want to tempt him away, Heavenly Flower Sword, you’ll need to offer him even more women than that—can you?”

A new Blood Cult unit leader!

Kim Heojung, the Ugly Hunchback Demon Monster!

Qing’s face went sour so fast it was practically audible.

No, seriously—this is driving me insane. For real.

“What—unlimited women? You accepted that insane offer just like that? Seriously?”

“N-no! As I said, I was moved by the great cause of sweeping away you Central Plains parasites who throw the world into chaos. Women are—whatever, it doesn’t matter—well, I wouldn’t stop women who admire me and come to me, but...”

Trailing off like that had zero persuasive power.

You could practically see his thoughts through his skull.

Okay. If I’m going to persuade this bastard...

Even now, the Sword Demon stood there with his arms folded, looking smugly confident, which made Qing want to punch him.

Like he was saying, Go ahead. Persuade him if you can.

Qing let out a deep sigh.

She really, really hated this, but to deal with someone like this... she had to sink to his level.

“Sir? Didn’t you tell me before that you pursued natural encounters? That you would never allow fake love—women approaching you for your status, wealth, abilities... wasn’t that what you meant?”

“Hmph. True love like that is fine with just three women. And even if it’s fake, I can hold it anyway—make them concubines and be done with it.”

Mm. This is... really not easy.

Qing forced her head—about to shake side to side on its own—into place.

The Sword Demon had underestimated her.

The Sword Demon’s tongue was sharp enough to carve out hearts—a famous blade, a poison, sure—

But Qing’s tongue wasn’t specialized only in wounding.

It could lure softly and get what it wanted.

That was the most lethal poison of all.

“But sir. Then... would the women you ‘take’ truly be... pure?”

“What!? What do you mean—are you saying the women who come to me will all be the same kind of prostitute trash!?”

This bastard even had a victim complex—though, honestly, he’d always had that.

“That’s not what I mean. The Sword Demon said it himself, didn’t he? The unit leader can take any woman in the Blood Cult. And the Blood Cult has several unit leaders—do you think they would have left beautiful women untouched? No. Of course they wouldn’t.”

I can’t believe I have to put these words in my mouth. This is humiliating on a spiritual level...

But separate from Qing’s misery—

It worked incredibly well.

“Huh? Th-that... that...”

“Sir Kim. The Blood Cult really is a treacherous heretical group. What sane group tries to lure someone by promising unlimited women? They’ll tempt you, use you, then throw you away later.”

“That’s not true. Anyone who hates the Central Plains is our fellow traveler, and someone like little Brother Kim is a great martial artist who deserves respect and proper treatment. I swear it on all my martial arts.”

The Sword Demon cut in, apparently deciding it wasn’t working.

But Qing’s mouth curled up at the corner.

“No. Even if what you told him isn’t a lie, they still won’t give you the truly beautiful, truly proper women. For example—Yu Ryang, the Heart-Eating Demon Princess people even call the Blood Cult’s greatest beauty? They won’t send a real beauty like that to you.”

“YOU BITCH!!! You dare say that name! Absolutely not! Never!!! How dare you—HOW DARE YOU!!!! HURK!”

The Heart-Eating Demon King spit blood again.

It was a scream that made blood boil.

“See? He’s saying he absolutely won’t give you the real beauties. Blood Cult specialty: deceiving people.”

“I-is that true? Did you deceive me?”

“N-no. That’s not it. Yu Ryang is... that is, she’s Brother Yu’s daughter. What father would happily hand over his daughter just because someone suddenly demanded it?”

“And also, the Blood Cult has Eon Yeonyeong, who was originally one of Murim’s Five Beauties—ask if you can have her too.”

Was Yu Ryang actually the Blood Cult’s greatest beauty? Was Eon Yeonyeong really one of Murim’s Five Beauties? Qing didn’t know and didn’t care.

Her mouth was open, wasn’t it? After bringing up ‘purity,’ her mouth was already a trash heap. What was one more line?

“Really? Eon Yeonyeong? Someone like that exists? One of Murim’s Five Beauties?”

“Mm. The thing is, Therapist Eon is one of our unit leaders, so... unless she herself wants it. And mm—better to give up. There’s a terrifying older sister attached to her side, and even you couldn’t guarantee your life. That’s someone a man can’t oppose.”

“Older sister? Beautiful—no, that older sister is that beautiful? A man can’t oppose her?”

“No, it’s not that—older sister is—no, is that what you’re curious about? That ‘hard to oppose’—”

The Sword Demon choked on his words, and his fist clenched hard.

Even the Sword Demon couldn’t hide his frustration!

Terrifying—the Ugly Hunchback Man!

In the meantime, Qing stabbed again.

“See? The real beauties are all ‘no.’ Right—Gongryang Sayoon is pretty too. Ask if Gongryang Sayoon is allowed!”

“......Really?”

“Well, she’s not with the Cult. More like an outside collaborator. If she herself wanted to, maybe.”

Kim Heojung’s face twisted...

Or did it?

It was twisted by default, so it was hard to tell.

But it probably twisted harder.

“Then what the hell is even allowed!?”

“Allowed—little brother, why are you talking like that? If you talk like that, you’ll lose whatever dignity you have.”

“You told me! You told me if I became a unit leader, all the Blood Cult women would sincerely admire me and come running! But this one can’t because of this, that one can’t because of that!”

“L-little brother, calm down. It’s not that they can’t. If the other side wants it, what wouldn’t be possible? And between men and women, there isn’t some law that says it absolutely can’t—if you win their hearts—”

“If I have to win hearts, then what the hell is the Blood Cult and what the hell is a unit leader! There’s no woman who’d ever like something this ugly anyway! If that’s the case, why did I even join the Blood Cult!”

Ugly Hunchback Man—exploded!

Mm. Even the way his real feelings burst out was ugly beyond words...

And at the same time... it made Qing’s chest tighten, just a little.

Because in the end, he’d already concluded it himself: that no one would love him because of how he looked.

Even if he was born that ugly, it was tragic—and no one’s fault.

And if he’d been tricked and twisted by his teacher on top of that...

What could you do about appearance?

Of course, appearance isn’t everything.

There are ugly men with pretty women, handsome men with ugly women, living happily together—that definitely exists.

Even if you’re plain, there are ways to improve... mm, no.

Now that she thought about it, Ugly Hunchback Man had probably made a lot of effort—his voice, his politeness, that absurd level of cooking skill you could feel even through snacks...

Still, there was some massive wall effort couldn’t overcome—

And if only he were ugly in a funny way, but there’s no plastic surgery in the Central Plains—

Suddenly, Qing’s mind flashed bright.

There is, isn’t there?

Not plastic surgery—

But a body-altering martial art.

One with absolutely insane effects.