Chapter 42 - Morning Drama
The following morning.
Albion woke up to the morning rays of the sun shining onto his face through the blinds. He did not feel tired when he went to sleep last night, but he felt tired after waking up.
It was somewhat conflicting in logic.
'Splashing some cold water should freshen me up.' Albion thought.
Perhaps it was the sluggish feeling of idleness that made him tired. As a person with the True Immortal Body, he did not actually need to sleep.
The body had already broken away from mortality and was not subjected to the standard needs of the human body—or so he thought.
The stomach suddenly rumbled.
Albion immediately jumped out of bed and headed to the bathroom in the adjacent room. On his way out, he briefly glanced at the digital clock on the bedside table.
It was 6AM, an ungodly hour according to Albion's opinion as a NEET in his previous life. He was not a morning person.
But then again, no one really was. Despite that, most people in the world will still get up early in the morning to commence their day.
It was a matter of self-discipline.
'Huh? Where on earth is the lock?' Albion furrowed his brows as he searched the bathroom door for the lock switch.
After spending two minutes searching, he realized that the door indeed had no doorlock. This greatly surprised him! How can a bathroom not have a lock on its doors?
This was just an invitation for all manners of things to go wrong.
Nevertheless, he cannot change the fact that there was no lock. He can only pray that no one would enter while he is settling his business inside.
He walked past the sink, headed for the toilet adjacent to it, lifted the lid, and dropped his pants before sitting down.
Albion had read thousands of cultivation novels in his past life, but there had always been this one question that plagued him. However, today, for the first time, he found his answer.
Do Immortals also need to chuck a sh*t? Yes! Yes, they do!
He did not know how the True Immortal Body works, but he can guess that True Immortal would only need to defecate once in a while after the food and wastes accumulated to a certain point.
Right now, Albion's today had indeed reached that specific point.
As he arrived at this conclusion, he knew that he would drop a giant turd today—possibly the biggest and most profound sh*t in human history.
However, not even several breathes after Albion sat down, the bathroom doors slid open, causing him to freeze in shock. The fat lemon squeezing through the narrow rear valve halted with its tips exposed.
The person entering the bathroom was a new face—a young and beautiful face. There was also some resemblance to Anya.
However, this person had a mature aura that the naive and innocent Anya lacked, cumulated from working in the main family's business, the Seymour Fishing Corporation, as the chief of finance.
She was the first daughter of Klein and Jun, Eleanor.
Albion watched in shock as Eleanor switched on the lights and made her way over to the bathroom sink in a zombie-like manner with droopy eyes, half asleep.
She did not seem to have noticed him. She proceeded to pick up her toothbrush and toothpaste before commencing her morning routine.
After his initial shock, Albion began to watching Eleanor brush her teeth calmly—with fascination even.
How could this person not see that there was someone on the toilet beside her? Could she be visually impaired? Or she simply missed him due to morning grogginess?
Nevertheless, Albion could not continue like this. The tip was already exposed and felt extremely discomforting.
'Man's gotta poop.'
Plop!
After a strong push, the behemoth turd dropped with a loud splash in the water.
Eleanor was immediately jolted awake with a frozen expression. Shortly after, she turned her head mechanically to the side.
Albion gazed back at her directly with a rueful smile and said, "Fine morning, isn't it?"
"Ahhhhhh—!"
Eleanor screamed.
Her reaction was to be expected after seeing someone unfamiliar in the house—and on the toilet, nonetheless!
The whole house was woken up in alarm by her startling scream. Within a short moment, her mother Jun rushing over with her messy bed hair.
"Are you okay, my angel? What happened?" Jun asked with concern. Two breathes later, a groggy Klein also walked in and asked, "What's going on?"
"Mom! Dad! There's a stranger on the toilet!" Eleanor said with panic while pointing her finger at Albion with alarm.
Jun and Klein slowly shifted their gaze over before their jaws dropped with astonishment. What kind of situation was this?!
Jun immediately pulled Eleanor over while Klein Seymour stuttered in greeting, "G-Good morning, Young Master Albion!"
Half a breath later, Anya also walked in groggily before yawning, "Why is there so much commotion here in the morning?"
Her gaze slowly filtered its way through her family. Shortly after, her expression froze on the person seated with his pants down in the back of the bathroom.
Seeing the entire Seymour family staring at him, Albion rubbed his forehead with distress before saying, "I know this is your home and all... but does the whole family need to come and watch me chuck a sh*t? Please get out…"
"Go, quickly get out and let the Young Master settle his business!" Klein Seymour hushed his wife and two daughters to leave. The door was slide shut on their way out.
Albion sighed ruefully.
Outside, Eleanor quickly inquired with her toothbrush in her mouth, "Mom! Dad! Who is he? Why do you call him Young Master Albion?"
"He is your dad's benefactor and someone who will help our family overcome the difficult times that are to come," Jun explained to her daughter. Her husband had filled her in on the details last night, in their bed.
With a crumpled and confused expression, Eleanor asked, "What difficulties does our family have? Are we being suppressed by our business competitors?"
"Ah, right. You do not know about this yet. We will talk about this today. Just know that this is someone you must show your utmost respect." Klein Seymour said to his daughter.
"But does this person have to be living with us? Why is he here?" Eleanor spoke with a flushed face. She felt like her morning sanctuary had been violated.
It was so embarrassing walking in on someone using the toilet. Why didn't this person turn on the lights?!
"This… this was only temporary. Young Master Albion will be out today." Klein Seymour explained wryly.
Half an hour later, the Seymour family heard a flush before Albion exited shortly after washing his hands.
"Woah, I wouldn't go in there if I were you." Albion stopped Eleanor from entering the bathroom.
"Why?" Eleanor glared at him while holding her toothbrush and accused him, "Don't tell me you didn't spray the room after you were done?!"
"Ellie, manners." Klein Seymour warned.
Albion gestured to Klein Seymour that he did not mind before awkwardly saying, "I did, but it is no use. The toilet… it's clogged."
His turd was hard like some peerless metal. It was rock hard. He would have broken the toilet while trying to unclog that abomination—And let's forget about using his Ashura Flame.
That would be like lighting up a barrel of flammable gas. There might not be a bathroom left after that.
"I'll go unclog it."
Klein Seymour offered with a non-negotiating tone and entered the bathroom. However, his cry could be heard shortly after.
Klein Seymour knew that Albion was an extraordinary person, but he did not expect that even his turds would also be extraordinary!
A terrible smell shortly escaped the bathroom and pervaded the house shortly after the toilet lid was lifted, and the entire family soon broke into outrage.