How To Ruin A Love Comedy
Chapter 475
"You really are ridiculous."
Renka had been staring out the window, muttering things like that on repeat. She only turned to look at me when the car was almost at her house.
"Hey."
"Yeah."
"You know you're completely transparent, right? It's painfully obvious what you're after."
"What are you talking about?"
"If you don't want to be with me, just say so. Don't feed me some line about sending me home for my own good."
She was slipping into another one of her weird paranoid delusions and grumbling about it.
Though, to be fair, it wasn't a completely unreasonable assumption.
"It's nothing like that.""Then what is it?"
"You won't listen even if I tell you."
"I'm listening, so spit it out."
"Spit it out?"
"Explain."
"Why do you always have to start by using language like that and making me frown?"
"Because I feel like it. No, just explain yourself. Don't change the subject."
Renka glared fiercely at me, pressing the issue.
She seemed to think she had the upper hand... but did she realize that upper hand was as light as a feather?
I slowed the car down and turned the corner before answering.
"I'm sending you home now so we can have a proper sleepover next time."
"What are you talking about? Explain it properly."
"We agreed to go to a Hotel with Master next time. Since that'll probably happen soon, I'm saying you should save your excuse to stay out for then. If you spend the night out multiple times in a short window, your parents are going to worry, President."
"What...! Hey, then you sending me home right now isn't for my sake at all, it's purely for yours...!"
"Not quite. Since you want to do it too, President, it's more accurate to say it's what we both want."
"Don't make me laugh...! I don't even want to do it, you're just dragging me along against my will...!!"
"Thinking of it like that kind of turns me on. Fine, let's go with what you said, President. I'll be dragging you along against your will."
"Wh-What..."
Was she dumbfounded by how completely impossible it was to reason with me?
Renka's mouth fell open slightly.
I shot a glance at her as she sputtered blankly, then shrugged my shoulders.
"Anything else you want to add?"
That snapped Renka out of her daze, and her eyes went wide.
"I-I do...! Ultimately, that was your whole goal, but because I fell asleep and we couldn't do it, you're sending me home...!? Right?"
"How exactly did you interpret what I said to come up with that? No, you're wrong."
"Wrong, my foot...!"
"If I was planning to do it, do you really think I would have just let you go to sleep, President?"
"..."
"Right?"
"Y-You probably meant to do it originally, but suddenly lost interest, so you just let me sleep..."
"Your paranoid delusions are really in full swing today. I'm telling the truth. If I say no, I mean no. Got it?"
"That makes no..."
"I said, got it?"
"Got what..."
"Got it?"
"..."
"Not going to answer?"
"I-I get it...! I get it, okay...! Just because you don't have a comeback, you have to shut me up... You're so incredibly annoying..."
"For someone I'm supposedly shutting up, you sure are running your mouth non-stop."
"Urgh...!"
Did that strike a nerve?
Renka let out a bizarre groan and bit down on her lower lip.
Judging by her expression, she looked like she wanted nothing more than to punch me in the jaw.
"I'm joking."
I gently stroked the sulking Renka's thigh. She instantly swatted the back of my hand away, slapping my arm.
"Don't touch me."
"The slave is rebelling. Have I been too lenient with you?"
"Ah, damn it...! Stop calling me a slave...!"
While Renka bickered with me, the car had already arrived in front of her house.
I shifted the gear into park and leaned my face in closely toward Renka, who was flailing her whole body to avoid my touch.
"What...? Why are you suddenly getting so close?"
Renka's tone was blunt as I offered her my cheek.
She knew exactly what I wanted, but she was pretending to be clueless on purpose.
Both to convey my intentions and issue a warning, I pressed the lock button on the driver's side door trim, making it impossible for Renka to open the passenger door herself.
"You're not leaving until you do it."
"Yeah, right."
Renka let out a snort and yanked the door handle, but naturally, the locked door refused to open.
Her lips twitched in obvious dissatisfaction as she muttered venomously.
"You didn't even give me any candy, so what more do you want..."
Was that the issue?
Everything she did was just so damn cute... Without Renka around, I didn't know how I'd find any joy in my day.
I really needed to make her move into my house as soon as possible.
"I'll give you some if you do it."
"...Give it to me first, then."
"I might just stop giving it to you entirely starting today."
"Do what you want. Do I look scared?"
"So, we'll go with that?"
"..."
"Are you ignoring me again?"
"No...! Just...! If I agree to that, you're just going to use it against me later...! You really know how to piss me off..."
"If making excuses like that makes you feel better, President, then sure, let's go with that."
"I-If you're going to be delusional, keep it in your head...! Don't try to push your fantasies onto me..."
"Fine, noted. Now, are you going to do it or not?"
"Ugh, I'll do it...! I said I'll do it...!"
Openly pretending she hated it, Renka pressed her lips against my cheek.
I could only feel the faintest, briefest hint of moisture.
It left a bit to be desired, but as far as Renka's farewells went, it was a passing grade.
Feeling satisfied, I reached over to unlock the door—but then Renka suddenly leaned in for a second kiss.
Unlike the first kiss, which was barely a brush of the lips, this time she pressed hard enough that if she had been wearing lip tint or lipstick, it would have left a stain on my cheek.
It seemed Renka had decided for herself that the first one wasn't quite enough.
I hadn't said a single word, nor had I even given her a disappointed look...
She had truly become an excellent slave who knew how to read her master's mind perfectly.
She was so adorable and endearing it was driving me crazy.
"Happy now...? Give me the candy..."
Renka held out her hand, her face so red it looked like it would pop if I poked it.
I opened the center console, took out two candies, and placed them in her palm. In a voice as quiet as a mosquito, she asked,
"Are you giving me two because I did it twice...?"
"No. It's because you had a good attitude."
"Bull... shit..."
"Did you just curse at me?"
"No I didn't..."
"I'm pretty sure you did."
"I didn't..."
I wanted to tease her a bit more, but I decided to let it slide since I knew she only lashed out because she was overwhelmingly embarrassed.
"Alright. Get inside safely. I'll call you tomorrow."
"Whatever you say... Just open the door now..."
"I already unlocked it."
"...I'm leaving."
"See you. Don't forget your clothes."
"Ah, right."
I flashed her a bright smile and waved as she grabbed her large plastic bag and opened the passenger door. In response, she suddenly flipped me off with the very hand holding the candy, then abruptly spun around.
Whenever we shared an embarrassing moment of intimacy like that, Renka always resorted to either flipping me off or spewing curses.
It was just her unique way of hiding her racing heart.
Would there ever come a day when I could see her beaming with genuine happiness?
Still, this attitude suited Renka best. That image of her was so firmly ingrained in my mind that seeing anything else would probably feel incredibly unnatural anyway.
I watched Renka, dressed in a baggy gray T-shirt and matching sweatpants, walk through the Main Gate. I waited until the Main Gate shut completely before finally driving off.
Afterward, I returned home in a great mood, took a quick shower, and went straight to sleep.
"Hey."
—What.
"Where are you?"
—Home.
"Come out."
—Don't wanna.
Was it because I'd just been with Renka yesterday?
It felt like Hiyori was giving off the exact same vibe as Renka.
The nuance in her words was strikingly similar.
"I'll be on my way soon."
—Wait, hold on a second... I haven't even showered yet.
"Then go shower while you wait."
—Can't we meet in the evening instead?
"Why? You have plans?"
—Not exactly... it's just that seeing sunbae-nim's face this early in the morning feels a bit much.
"Is that an insult?"
—No.
"Then why does seeing my face feel 'a bit much'?"
—Ah, you don't need to know... anyway, let's just meet in the afternoon or evening.
Had she been touching herself while thinking about us?
And now she wanted to wait until the afternoon because she was afraid she'd get embarrassed looking at me?
Maybe my mind was just in the gutter right now, but no matter how hard I racked my brain, I couldn't think of any other explanation.
Hiyori's voice even sounded a little husky, like she was turned on...
"Let's meet up now, get some food, and hang out."
—I told you, no.
"There's no such thing as 'no.' If you're not going to give me a proper reason, get ready to head out."
—Ugh... fine.
Hiyori finally agreed, though she sounded like someone who had just made a massive, life-altering decision.
I hung up the phone and tried to come up with another reason for her odd behavior, but quickly shook my head.
I would find out soon enough once we met up in person, so there was no point letting my imagination run wild.
After finishing my own preparations, I stepped outside and braved the humid weather on my way to Hiyori's house.
When I arrived, I was mildly surprised to see she was already waiting, having come out three minutes early.
Or rather, I was surprised once I got a good look at her outfit.
'What the?'
Hiyori was wearing a skirt that covered her knees and a thin, knit long-sleeved shirt.
By any normal standard, it was an entirely ordinary outfit. But seeing it on Hiyori—a girl who usually loved bold, revealing fashion—made it look completely bizarre.
"Hey, hey, Matsumatsu."
Hiyori offered a bright, cheerful greeting as she opened the car door.
I took it in stride and replied.
"Hey. I thought you'd be in a bad mood, but I guess not?"
"Who said I was in a bad mood? I just said I wasn't up for meeting this early."
"So you've adopted a 'we're already here, might as well have fun' mindset?"
"Exactly."
"I like the positive attitude."
"I know, I know."
Hiyori smugly puffed out her chest in feigned arrogance as she smoothed down her skirt. As she did, I caught a glimpse of what looked like light, frilly underpants beneath her hem.
Women usually wore those kinds of safety shorts under skirts when they were on their period...
Was she on her time of the month too, just like Miyuki?
"Have you eaten?"
"Nope. I'm starving."
"Anything in mind?"
"I'm craving noodles. Udon, not ramen."
"Then let's go get some udon."
"Alright. Let's go."
Resting her handbag on her lap, Hiyori raised two fingers to her temple in a crisp salute before dramatically pointing forward.
It looked like some sort of Air Force hand signal. I wondered if she had watched a fighter jet action movie last night or something.
At the very least, Hiyori seemed perfectly fine right now.
Would she change once we got to a Hotel? I would just have to wait and see how things played out.
I let out a soft chuckle at her playful antics and drove the car toward downtown.
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