How to Bring Common Sense to Xianxia World

Wei Chen was now feeling a headache, a real headache.

He stared blankly at a report his subordinates had sent him regarding the intruder they had caught last night.

A blonde-haired girl speaking a weird language? Strange clothes? Strange equipment!?

Yeah... somebody definitely thought diving through a strange, otherworldly hole with zero knowledge of what was on the other side was a great idea!

No wonder there were cave-diving casualties every year.

Wei Chen massaged his temples. He knew that his boss didn’t want the two worlds interfering with each other, but this shit had already happened.

More importantly... could he cross to the other side and meet his parents... and Cindy?

Wei Chen lingered on that thought for a moment before shaking his head.

No, he shouldn’t. It had already been more than a year since he had been reborn in this world... well, if entering a long-dead corpse and resurrecting in a fresh new body could be called rebirth, then he had indeed been reborn.

His parents and Cindy might have already made peace with his death. Going back in a new body would be pointless... and he shouldn’t do it. It would only hurt both them and himself.

"Sigh~"

Wei Chen let out a sigh before contacting his boss through a broadcasting orb.

After waiting for a few seconds, the other side picked up the line.

"Wei Chen? What’s the matter?" the Lord of Death asked. His iconic bony face and the eternal green fire burning in his eyes were certainly intimidating.

"Your Honor... there’s a hiccup on this side while we’re sealing the hole. Someone from the other side snuck in. What should we do?" Wei Chen asked.

Hearing this, the Lord of Death tilted his head in confusion.

"Huh? Snuck in? How was that possible? I read the report. Even though it’s just patchwork on our part, nothing should have been able to sneak through. Unless..."

The Lord of Death fell silent. Then he quickly typed on his PC-like artifact as though searching for something.

Unless?

Wei Chen frowned.

He didn’t like that word at all. He had a lot of bad experiences with it.

Like, "Unless you buy this bloody expensive bag, I won’t date you."

Or, "Unless you pay for our meal at a bloody luxurious and absurdly expensive restaurant, I won’t go with you."

Those were just a few examples of the "unlesses" he had experienced.

Of course, Cindy Liu, his ex, was outside of those examples.

The girl was a complete oddball. She loved miniatures and the glory of the Imperium of Man more than expensive cosmetics. She preferred playing cards with people rather than gossiping like a schoolgirl.

That was the main reason why he dated her... other than the... personal taste, of course.

After a few minutes, the Lord of Death returned to the call. Somehow, Wei Chen felt that his bony face looked a bit more serious after whatever he had discovered.

"It seems... someone, or... something, from our side unknowingly crossed over to the other side and established some kind of... meaningful contact. That created a link the other side can now use to cross over here."

"When we sealed it, we only sealed our side to prevent anything from our world from crossing over, not the other way around. But... don’t worry. This problem will be fixed once we build a gatehouse. As long as we close the gate on our side, nothing from the other side will be able to come through," said the Lord of Death.

"So... Your Honor, what is the policy for dealing with the... erm... illegal immigrant?" Wei Chen asked. The term he used felt rather awkward because he had no idea what to call a situation like this.

"That’s easy. Just deport her. Oh... and before deporting her, try asking what happened on the other side. And find out how she managed to cross over," said the Lord of Death.

"Yes, Your Honor."

Wei Chen nodded in agreement before the other side returned the nod and hung up the call.

"Haaa~ There’s work to do, there’s work to do..." Wei Chen muttered to himself as he stood up from his chair.

He then walked out of his personal tent toward the detention tent, where his people were standing guard.

Inside, he saw a young blonde-haired woman. She was quite beautiful, but compared to Dream Butterfly, it was like comparing a middle school beauty to a super idol. No, even more than that!

"Release me! Release me now! I’m an American! I’m an American!" the young woman shouted in broken Chinese, which was the main language used in this world.

At first, Wei Chen opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but stopped. He didn’t want this girl to have even the slightest inkling that he had once been an American. Who knew what kind of favors she might ask for, or what unreasonable requests might come out of her mouth?

It would be a hassle, so he decided to disguise it a little.

"Who are you?" he asked in the local tongue, which sounded like Chinese to the woman.

The woman smiled wryly.

This again. A language barrier. A communication nightmare.

As an investigative journalist, she aimed to travel widely and do her job, so overcoming language barriers was something she had prepared herself for. But she had never imagined she would be transported here!

Who would have thought walking through that portal-like thing would make her appear here? In a Chinese fantasy world!

She had thought the portal was just some kind of secret entrance into a military base!

If she had known this would happen, she would never have come here in the first place!

More importantly, why had the security been so lax? Wasn’t this thing supposed to be top secret? How had she been able to enter it so easily!?

As expected, those tax thieves were incompetent.

She would rather have been detained by those tax thieves than end up here, in a place where she knew no one and there wasn’t even any internet!

Wei Chen watched the woman’s expression change like Florida weather. From indignation to anger, from anger to regret, and from regret to hopelessness.

He then walked toward her, pretending to be confused. Gathering pure spiritual qi into his hand, creating a faint blue aura, he gently touched her head and used his spiritual qi to disrupt her brain just a little, making her feel slightly dizzy.

"What?... What have you done to me!?" the woman protested, glaring at Wei Chen.

"Do you understand me?" Wei Chen asked, this time in English.

"Huh?"

The woman’s eyes widened. She touched her head, which was already recovering from the dizziness, then looked at Wei Chen’s hand, which still glowed with a blue aura.

Was this Chinese fantasy magic? Had he read her mind?

Wait!

Didn’t that mean he knew her three sizes!?

And... and her weight!?

The woman suddenly glared at Wei Chen, leaving him confused. Why was this girl suddenly offended?

"I asked you, do you understand me?" Wei Chen asked once again in English.

Now he was starting to second-guess himself. Was this woman actually not from the U.S., and was her claim of being an American just a bluff? What if she were German or French?

"You! How!? Don’t you know it’s rude to read other people’s minds?" the woman protested.

"Rest assured, I have zero interest in what idiots are thinking. I only copied the language from your brain," Wei Chen bluffed, as if he could actually do that.

"No way! That’s so convenient! Can you teach me this... this magic?"

The woman immediately dropped to her knees and extended her hands toward Wei Chen as if she were trying to take him as her master.

Wei Chen couldn’t help rolling his eyes.

"Whatever, let’s talk. Follow me."

Wei Chen opened the prison door for her and waved for her to follow.

The woman did so, looking left and right with curiosity. She noticed they were now near the bank of the... river.

Well, if something miles wide could still be called a river, then it was a river.

"Hmm... no wonder that thing could live here. Maybe it accidentally crossed over to the other side?" the woman muttered under her breath.

"What thing?" Wei Chen turned and asked.

"Oh! You know... a kaiju. It has a snake-like body and four feet. Yeah, it looks like a Chinese dragon!"

As she spoke, the woman gestured with both hands, tracing the shape of a long serpent through the air.

"Kaiju? Chinese? What’s that?" Wei Chen asked, feigning ignorance.

"Ugh... I forgot you might not know those words. It’s a giant monster that looks like a dragon!" the woman said.

Wei Chen nodded in understanding.

Does this mean one of the giant creatures living underwater had unknowingly crossed over to the other side?

That was possible.

Yes, the Underworld Palace and his men had cleared the area, but that only covered the surface, not the waters below. They had been focusing on keeping those nosy spies from the various factions away from the river.

So this was an oversight on their part.

"Then follow me and give your statement," Wei Chen concluded before leading the woman to his personal tent.