Chapter 176: Polikarpe Diem

Polikarp sat at his table in his house and smiled contently. His house. He’d never had a house before, heck, he hadn’t even had a table before. Polikarp felt pretty good about that.

His parents had always told him he was destined for greatness and abundance, which is why they named him Polikarp. And it was true, good things always happened to Polikarp, even when bad things happened. Like when his mother got bitten and lost her leg, trying to shield him from a street pig. They ate well for a long time after the guards killed it. Polikarp remembered that as one of the better years. Or that time when that saint was throwing coppers into the crowd and nine people were trampled to death. Polikarp only got trampled a little, and when he got home he found a copper wedged in his skull.

He got a bit sad, realizing that the world was full of misfortune. Most people weren’t blessed like he was and bad things always happened to nice people. He saw it all around him, and it was one of the reasons he joined the caravan—so he could help more people and have a positive impact on the world. Share his luck and fortune with those around him. He was destined for greatness and gosh darnit, he would do his best to make everyone else great as well!

But being great was a heavy burden to carry. Sometimes he wondered if he shouldn’t have chosen [Carpenter] that day, chosen a normal life instead of his current Class. He usually managed to push those thoughts aside rather quickly. He’d chosen wisely, his parents had named him Polikarp after all. He was destined for greatness, and carpenters were limited in what they could achieve. You didn’t see carpenters running around with twelve apostles or anything like that. Not that that’s what he wanted. No, he wanted to serve the people, like a saint would.

And he did serve the people now. First, by joining the caravan, now through serving Hecate, the Radiant Dawn. While it shouldn’t have surprised him that they ran into an actual goddess, it had, and it had moved him to tears. Once again he had led the caravan to greatness like the leader he was. He was a true Polikarp.

He nodded to himself, satisfied. Everyone always saw him as a leader. Whenever something dangerous or uncertain waited ahead, they sent him in to look. It happened almost every time. Polikarp took this as proof of how much they trusted him, trusted his leadership capabilities. They believed in him.

He was glad no one had noticed him fall onto Teofil. No one had mentioned it, but it was quite embarrassing. He didn’t know how it happened, but despite his luck, little accidents still happened from time to time—everything was always so slippery! One moment he was walking, the next he was flying. He must have tripped on something, though he never did find what. After that, he’d been carried around on Teofil like a piece of luggage and it took all his self control not to make a sound. He figured if they didn’t hear him, no one would think to look. As long as he was silent, he might appear like a piece of luggage, and they would still see him as their fearless leader.

Even the goddess hadn’t noticed, which he was thankful for. What she had noticed was his handsome face. His mother always told him he was handsome as well, and everyone was always staring at him, so it must be true. Sometimes he wished he had time to find a nice woman and get married, but his mission was too important, he knew that. He was destined for greatness.

Hecate had even offered to get him new shoes and a hat! That was very kind of her, but not necessary. He liked his shoes, and most hats didn’t fit his head for some reason. He also didn’t know what he’d done to deserve such generosity. It’s not like he had done anything special. Maybe it was because the group saw him as their leader? Maybe it was her way of thanking him for keeping them safe, for leading them to her.

He pushed that thought aside. She probably wouldn’t give him anything. People tended to promise a lot of things and hardly ever delivered, and while she wasn’t people—she was an actual goddess—he doubted he’d be getting a hat, let alone one that fit him, and that was alright. She’d done more than enough for them already. Everything that threatened them evaporated in an instant thanks to her divine protection. Even now, he could feel her presence, her holy fire warming him on this cold night.

Then he realized she had given him this house. She had given everyone a house. A gift far greater than a pair of shoes and a hat. Once again Polikarp had spread his luck to his companions. Once again he had shared his greatness with all. Maybe the looks they were always giving him weren’t because he was so handsome, maybe they were looks of appreciation, perhaps both.

He heard a knock on the door.

Who could it be? Is there another danger that needs to be investigated?

When he opened the door he was face to face with a brightly smiling mayor Aurelia, one of Hecate’s undoubtedly many forms. For a moment he was stunned by her beauty, and he didn’t know what to say or how to respond. Her hair was flowing majestically as if there was a perpetual breeze, even though the air was still.

“Hello there, Polikarp!” she said, her voice like an angel.

He regained his composure and confidently said “Hi there, mayor Aurelia!” flashing a charming grin.

She frowned and took a step back, then shook her head and pushed past him inside the house. She put a neat box onto the table and sat down on one of the chairs, then gestured for him to sit across from her. Polikarp followed, but the darn floor was so slippery. No matter what he did it always seemed impossibly slippery, like it was made of ice.

He stumbled and hit his head on the table. He quickly scrambled up and got on the chair, smiling widely, hoping that she hadn’t noticed his little accident.

She looked at him with a blank stare. She opened her mouth and pointed at him. “You have—” Then sighed and shook her head. “Never mind.”

Hecate pushed the box toward him. “Here. I promised you shoes and a hat.”

Did she sound tired? It was probably exhausting being a goddess all day. How is her hair still moving?

He opened the box and found two elegant shoes inside. They were definitely expensive. Then again, gods could probably afford whatever they wanted. The hat looked too small to fit him, but to his surprise, it grew larger when he held it in his hands. Finally a hat that would fit him, though it might obscure his handsome face a little, judging by the size of the rim.

“Don’t ask me how it works,” she said. “It just does.”

Polikarp knew better than to question a goddess, and he thanked her profusely. He tried to kiss her hand like the gallant hero he was, but she drew it away. That was probably his mistake, he was only a mortal after all and not worthy of touching an actual divine being.

She looked pained, probably sensing some injustice in the world and quickly got up. Before he knew what was going on she was already outside and had closed the door behind her.

He got in front of the small mirror he had and put on the hat. It fit him perfectly. He looked quite dashing, if he did say so himself. He also put on the shoes. Classy. They matched the hat. One could even say they were great.

Polikarp rubbed his belly in contentment, something he sometimes did when he was feeling good. It had been a good couple of days, despite seeing all those corpses, getting captured by demons, and fearing for his life on multiple occasions. Falling onto Teofil also wasn’t great, but at least no one had noticed that. Those people that got blown apart in the town square also didn’t seem like the best characters, but they were dead now. It was unfortunate that he had to clean it up, but a true leader does not shy away from anything. Nothing was beneath him. Cleaning up the town square would surely inspire everyone, and even if it didn’t it would make the place look nice again.

When he walked back to the table he nearly slipped again. What was it with this floor? Nothing he tried helped. Not even his new shoes helped. It didn’t matter. He had new shoes and a hat, given to him by a beautiful goddess, and a slippery floor wasn’t enough to dampen his mood.

He smiled to himself. He was still a fearless leader. He was still destined for greatness. He was still Polikarp. And now he had a cool hat.