Chapter 175: That’s the Plan

I didn’t want him to start talking about birds again so I pointed my finger at him. “Enough about those damn birds, Vasil!”

He opened his mouth and just let it hang open. He didn’t say anything and he didn’t close it. He just stared, which worked for me. At least he wasn’t talking about birds.

I selected [Crowning Glory].

[Crowning Glory acquired.]

“Perfect,” I said, clapping my hands together. “That’s another skill selected. The crafting skills can wait until I get back or whatever. Great preparation, everyone. Now I have nothing to fear from Palets.”

“You didn’t prepare anything,” Bogumir said, as if selecting two new skills wasn’t super good preparation for the unknown.

“Oh yeah?” I asked. “If you’re so smart, how would you have prepared?”

“I would brainstorm possible scenarios with my team and then come up with plans on how to handle those situations.”

“And what if something happens that you didn’t plan for?”

“Then you improvise.”

“Can’t you just do that instead of thinking about a whole bunch of scenarios that will probably never happen? How many times has the exact scenario you planned for ever happened?”

His eyes darted from side to side. “Well… sometimes it starts off like we planned, but then something usually happens that throws off our plans.”

“So either you’re a bad planner,” I said, putting up my hands. “which I don’t think you are. Or you should try to get better at improvising. Having the best possible reaction to any situation.”

“Ahem,” Vasil said. “You should do both. Having a plan will allow you to react quicker to an expected situation.”

“Fine,” I groaned. “Go on, then. Paint some of your scenarios in my mind. What will happen when I crush that teleportation crystal?”

“You cut your finger on the shards,” Aurelia said, chuckling.

I didn’t think that was very funny and considered unsummoning her, but didn’t actually do it. We were beautiful hair sisters after all, and it was an honest, albeit failed attempt at humor. I fought back a disapproving shake of the head, because I didn’t want to make her feel insecure. What mattered was that she tried, and I was a being of love and understanding.

Kasia shifted on her feet. “The vat of acid is still a possibility.”

“Right,” I said. “What would I do then? Just die?”

“I do not think so,” Vasil said. “It would surely hurt, but [Mana Shield] should keep you alive for a few moments, and if it really is a vat you can always shoot yourself out of it. I believe at this point you can probably shoot yourself out of pretty much anything.”

“Mind control,” Vitek said. “It’s more common than you think. I know it’s frowned upon, but frowned upon is kind of their business.”

“Mind control, shmind control.” I waved him off. “What else?”

“They could trap you,” Bogumir said. “Some kind of containment spell. Or the crystal could teleport you into a cell.”

“Trap, shmap. I could just teleport out or shoot my way out.” I sighed. “You know, guys, all of these problems seem to have very simple solutions. I feel like always the solution to my problems is just shoot it until it breaks.”

They all considered it and kind of mumbled and nodded in agreement.

“So,” I continued. “I guess that’s the plan: something goes wrong, I shoot it.”

Everyone was forced to agree that that was a solution that had worked very well for me in the past and that was the extent of our planning and scenario brainstorming. Who needs a plan when you have big guns? Not me, that’s who.

I tapped my chin. “Hmmmm. They said I should come alone, do you think they would mind if I bring Vasil? They might have stuff you can steal. I could keep them busy and you could rob them. ” I nodded excitedly at him.

He shook his head. “I do not think robbing them is the best way to start your relationship with them. They might take offense.”

“Only if they find out!”

“Trust me, they will. I could still come, though. You are probably correct in assuming they will count me as a mere pet.”

“Yeah! And if something bad happens I can always throw you at them. Worked last time.”

Vasil cocked his head and gave me a disapproving look.

I held out my palms. “Just kidding! I wouldn’t do that… again.”

Look, I totally would do that again and it worked really well last time, so why wouldn’t I do that again? But he didn’t have to know that. He was indestructible so it wasn’t like anything bad would happen to him.

Vasil narrowed his eyes at me.

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing.”

“Right. Anyway, do you think I should also bring Bogumir? He’s so small he might as well be a little doll. They probably wouldn’t count him, right?”

“I am not so sure,” Vasil said. “He may be small, but he is still very much a person. Plus he can talk. I do not think you will be able to slip Bogumir past them.”

“And I don’t want to die,” Bogumir said.

“Eh,” I said. “You probably wouldn’t die. Even I didn’t manage to kill you. You’re surprisingly hard to kill, did you know that?”

“Yeah, I did know that.”

“Even before you got your class. I remember that story you told me, the Radkov Massacre, was it?”

Bogumir cast his face down. “Hmm… I’m surprised you actually remembered that.”

“Why wouldn’t I? I remember things. Especially stories like that one.” I wondered… “Could that have been Banda Masvih? In the woods? The ones who, you know…” I mimed chopping off my arm.

“No. I don’t know. Maybe. I don’t remember much, so I guess it could have been anyone, but Banda Masvih are not the types to hide in the woods. They hide in plain sight, which makes them all the more dangerous in my opinion. At least you can avoid the woods, you can’t avoid what’s all around you, wherever you go.”

“That’s not entirely true, is it?” I smiled. “If they don’t hide in the woods you could always go into the woods.”

He gave me an incredulous look.

“Ah, I was just kidding!”

He didn’t say anything.

“Do you ever wonder who those outlaws were associated with? You ever try to find out?”

“To be honest, I think about it all the time.” He paused, expression pensive. “I asked, you know? I asked the Church multiple times. They never told me anything other than ‘a bunch of outlaws’. That never sat right with me. If they really were just a bunch of outlaws, why send us to clear them out? Why not let local law enforcement handle it? At some point they sternly told me to drop it, so I did, but I never stopped wondering. How could I?”

That all seemed extremely vague to me, and Bogumir was right. Why would they send a bunch of inquisitors to clear out a bunch of no name outlaws? They had to have been important somehow, since the Church sent multiple squads. And they also managed to kill everyone except Bogumir. The more I thought about it the more the whole situation smelled like fish. A strong, fishy odor.

I scrunched my nose and dramatically sniffed.

“I agree,” Bogumir said. “Something smells off about the whole thing. But what could I do? Everyone who was there is dead, except for me, and the higher ups told me to drop it.”

“Maybe we could look into it,” I suggested. “If we have the time, or if we can find a lead somehow. I think it would be good if we could get you some answers. Put your mind at ease… or not, depending on what we find. I’m not saying it will be a priority or anything, I’m just saying we should keep an eye out for anything possibly related.”

“I’d appreciate that,” he said, smiling faintly.

“Of course, my friend. Maybe we can even find something or someone to restore your memory. So do you want to come with us to Palets or not? I could put you in my satchel.”

“No,” he said way too fast.

“Fine.” I shrugged.

If he didn’t want to come he didn’t want to come. I couldn’t blame him for being afraid, and they did tell me to come alone. Or they told Aurelia, but she was me, so they kind of told me. It was probably for the best that I only took Vasil.

Speaking of Aurelia… “Sorry,” I told her. “But I’m going to have to be you now, so you have to go.”

“I have to go? Why don’t you—”

I unsummoned her before she could finish her complaint, because I wasn’t going to deal with that. Not even from a beautiful hair sister.

I had about a day left before my meeting with Palets, so I decided to check on my followers and see how my Order doing. I also asked Ola to find a pair of nice fitting shoes and a hat for Polikarp, I figured that would be best for everyone. He’d be happy with some new stuff, and everyone else would be happy not to hear that squeaking anymore. A simple way to keep morale high. With some luck Ola would have another cloud robe for me, and I’d get a good night’s rest without any assassins interrupting me, leaving me refreshed and focused to deal with whatever Banda Masvih was planning to throw at me.