Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World

Chapter 115 – Florida Man Riding Unicorn on Highway While Fleeing from Area 51’s Military Tanks Gets Caught on Video

Wu Buyi was clueless about technology. Thus, it was natural that he failed to figure out a way to enter. As for Leo, he had a better understanding of science, but he couldn’t find a device or clue.

After fiddling with the ship’s surface for an hour, both men gave up looking for a way in. They gathered in front of the spaceship, looking at the ceiling and the underground interior.

“Should I just smash it?” Leo rubbed his chin. He wondered if he should crack the ship open and brute-force his way in.

Wu Buyi brought out the life candle of Gao Yan and rechecked the latter’s location.

The flame’s tip pointed at the spaceship. Obviously, Gao Yan was inside.

“Is he abducted or captured?” Wu Buyi was concerned.

Leo opened the domain’s mini-map and found a green dot in front of him. He pressed the system screen and zoomed in. Then, the system mini-map showed the portrait of Gao Yan, who was moving from the center of the ship toward them.

“Nah, I don’t think so.” Leo closed his system map, “He should be coming out soon.”

“Really?”

“Any minute now.”

The men gazed at the spaceship and silently waited.

TOK-TOK

While they waited, they heard the footsteps of people coming from the passageway behind them. Taxi and Wu Buyi looked back, but Leo remained unfazed.

Yan Long and his entourage entered the cave and caught up to them.

Wu Buyi gulped as he couldn’t measure their cultivation base and strength. He roughly figured that they were at least the soul formation stage at the minimum. Because of the strength gap, Wu Buyi took three steps back and hid behind Leo and Taxi.

Taxi, on the other hand, glanced at the people and scoffed. A 9th-stage thunder unicorn like him was capable of killing newborn immortals, so 10 soul transformation cultivators were nothing to him. Moreover, Leo, who was stronger than Taxi, was here. The pony believed there was nothing to fear.

As for Leo, he didn’t think much of the group. As long as they weren’t as stupid as Situ Nantian, Ouyang Long, and Ouyang Ting, he was willing to spare them.

Meanwhile, the second prince finally got to see Leo. His eyes swept around the room and scanned through the transparent dao avatar of Wu Buyi and Leo.

Wu Buyi’s hidden dao avatar was a fire spirit and a cauldron. As their strength was limited to the nascent soul stage, Yan Long scoffed and ignored them. He checked Taxi’s dao avatar next.

Upon sensing Taxi’s aura and his dao avatar, Yan Long smacked his lips. He ordered his men.

“Tsk. 9th-rank thunder unicorn. Men, abort the plant. Don’t do anything stupid.”

Leo and others overheard that. The former snorted in disgust while Wu Buyi was relieved. As for Taxi, he sneered at the group of cowards and looked away.

Yan Long flinched as he noticed the disdain in Taxi and Leo’s eyes. His expression turned cold as he held a grudge against Leo for looking down on them.

The second prince exerted his authority.

“My name is Yan Long, the second prince of the Yan Empire. Senior, this ruin is now under the jurisdiction of the imperial court. Our forces will escort you out, and we’ll take the risks exploring this ruin in your stead.”

Wu Buyi’s face was as white as a sheet as he was afraid of the imperial court and the royalty. He tugged Taxi’s mane, begging the horse to protect him.

Taxi and Leo didn’t bother looking at the group. Because Yan Long was rude, Leo had no reason to feed the troll or interact with them. The man and horse continued waiting for Gao Yan to come out.

Noticing that he was ignored, Yan Long’s eyes reddened in anger. He crossed his hands behind his back, but he secretly summoned immortal killing talismans from his spatial rings.

“Senior, I’ll say this again. We will take over the responsibility of exploring this ruin. You don’t need to waste your precious time on something unknown. This isn’t our first time dealing with the remnant of a lost civilization.”

Finally, Yan Long uttered something interesting. Leo stroked his beard and turned around.

“Did you say this isn’t your first time?”

“Correct,” Yan Long sneered. “I bet you don’t know how to access that building.”

Leo suddenly burst into laughter, “Building, you say? PFFT, yeah, right. BUILDING! FUHAHAHAHA!!”

“…”

Blood gathered in Yan Long’s face, and he clenched his fists. He almost activated the talismans because of anger, but he held it in.

“Would you like me to continue being courteous, or would you like me to be more direct?” Yan Long glanced at his men and gestured for them to prepare to attack if necessary.

Leo turned toward them and crossed his arms. He walked 10 steps, approaching the arrogant prince.

“Stop being a hypocrite and say it to my face, kid.”

“Very well.”

Yan Long smirked and walked 10 steps forward, challenging Leo. As they got close their height difference was more noticeable.

Leo was 6’3 while Yan Long was only 5’11. Even though the prince seemed bulky because of his armor, Leo seemed more aesthetic as his refined muscle looked better underneath the robes.

In short, Leo’s size alone won the unspoken charisma contest.

Noticing how Leo was taller and bigger, Yan Long narrowed his eyes for a moment. He then replied in a crisp voice.

“What I’m trying to say is… Scram or die, idiot.”

“That’s a lot better.”

Leo snickered and took off his rubber gloves. He patted Yan Long’s head and leaned closer. Then, he whispered.

“Unfortunately, you’re already dead, boy.”

“Is that so? BUT THE DEAD PERSON IS YOU!!” Yan Long sneered. The next moment, his hands brought two immortal killing talismans and slapped them on Leo’s cheeks.

PA!

The two yellowish talismans turned red. Then, they vanished into Leo’s skin.

Yan Long laughed and kicked the ground, retreating three steps, “You’re dead, quasi-immortal! Those talismans are made to kill immortals. They will destroy your dantian and deplete your life force! No matter how strong you are, you’re still a mortal! Now, if you kowtow to me and beg to be my slave, I might change my mind and save you!”

“…”

Leo raised his eyebrows, amused. He slowly pulled the CZ pistol out from his spatial ring and unlocked the safety. While he rechecked the ammo, he counted the time.

“Five… Six… Seven…”

While counting, Leo also sensed the movements of the infiltrating talismans. They acted like parasites, moving through his blood veins and traveling toward his stomach.

Had Leo been a regular cultivator, he would have panicked. Unfortunately, parasites and poison couldn’t harm evolved cancer cells and their favorite host.

Transparent blood cells swarmed the talismans like hungry zombies. They devoured the moving parasites until the foreign objects vanished.

DING

<You have digested Immortal Dantian Destruction Talismans. Your lifespan has increased by 6,000 years.>

The system message stunned Leo. He almost forgot to continue counting. While counting down Yan Long’s death, Leo asked the prince if he had more juicy food for his cancer cells to digest.

“Eight… Nine… Hey, do you have more of those? Twelve… Thirteen.”

Yan Long frowned. Ignoring Leo, he raised his hand and gestured to his men.

“Use your talismans. Ignore this fool and get rid of the unicorn. We’ll dissect it and harvest its monster core.”

Hearing the order, the nine soul transformation cultivators smirked and pulled out their talismans.

Leo stopped counting after it reached 15 seconds. He looked at Yan Long’s long black hair, which already turned white and slowly fell off. In addition, the prince’s youthful skin rapidly wrinkled and dried.

Strangely, Yan Long hadn’t realized it yet.

Leo was amused once again as someone finally endured the mutation for more than 15 seconds. To celebrate this occasion, Leo let them witness a firework.

The pistol’s muzzle pointed at the aide next to the prince. He carefully injected threads of Qi into rubber bullets in the magazine. However, he didn’t notice that his mannequin dao avatar merged with his body and poured some wood element essence into it.

“DIEEEE!!”

The nine men jumped and lunged at Taxi, ignoring Leo.

Leo sighed, but his right hand followed the men’s movements. Without looking, Leo pulled the trigger.

BANG

BANG

BANG

BANG

Nine consecutive fires came out, followed by echoing gunshot sounds. Within one second, Leo shot nine times.

He didn’t notice that the rubber bullet heads transformed into tree seeds. They pierced into the nine men’s skulls and got stuck inside their brains.

PLOP

PLOP

PU

Nine more muffled noises came from their heads as the nine skulls shattered. Soft pink tissues scattered everywhere. Some of them fell on Wu Buyi’s face and Taxi’s back.

Leo rotated his right shoulder, relieving the stiffness after using a point shooting technique. Still, he hadn’t noticed that his mannequin dao avatar did something to the bullets. Without looking at what he did, Leo ordered Taxi.

“Get rid of them, Taxi. I’ve already weakened them for you.”

Wu Buyi and Taxi’s expressions were blank. They gazed at the corpses without intact heads.

WIGGLE

Moreover, black sprouts emerged from the exploded heads. Some brain tissues already turned black and wiggled as if they were alive.

Taxi retorted.

“Smash?”

Leo shrugged, “Yes. Smash them.”

“Smash? Smash?!”

Leo rolled his eyes, “Do I need to explain how to smash them to pieces or what? Just kill them and be done with it. I’m busy waiting for this mofo to become another package of yin fluid.”

“…Smashed smash. D:”

“What do you mean they’re already dead?”

Leo had enough. He turned around to look at the messes he made.

Upon looking back, Leo found the bodies of nine men, whose heads had exploded because of the wood essence bullets.

“…”

Leo’s expression became the same as a pokerface cartoon meme. He quietly turned around and looked at Yan Long.

Meanwhile, Yan Long stood still and stopped moving. His hair and headwear fell to the ground. The gold armor also slipped off from his body along with his clothes, revealing his skinny limbs and torso.

He became a dried mummy. While standing, Yan Long lost consciousness and died without realizing what hit him.

Leo frowned and walked toward the guy. He poked the prince’s head.

PLOP

The entire body of Yan Long turned into dust.

“Hah?!”

Leo was disappointed. He thought the prince would have convulsed or swelled because of the expanding cancer cells. Instead, the guy lost all his fluid and died.

“Ah, dang it. I thought I would have gotten another source of yin fluid. I should have touched the other guys instead of shooting them… Wait, can I still mutate the corpses?”

He rushed to the corpses and touched them with his hands. For a safety measure, Leo spat on them to boost the mutation speed.

WIGGLE

Unfortunately, Leo was too late. The bullet seeds earlier already germinated and absorbed the hosts’ blood and fluid to the last drop. Without blood, the muscle fibers and bones quickly withered and dried.

A few seconds later, the corpses turned into black soil. Only black sprouts rapidly grew into small dragon fruit plants.

Looking at the plants, Leo smacked his forehead. He regretted using guns instead of the usual. He lamented and blamed himself.

“Dammit, Florida Wick. Stop playing with guns! Next time, only use guns in aerial fights, not ground combat!”