Falling in Love with the King of Beasts

LERRIN

As Reth continued to ask fairly benign questions, and Suhle continued to answer in halting, stilted sentences, Lerrin spoke to her through the link.

Liar, he sent.

No, she replied with a glance at Reth. I was always honest with you. I only hid how close we were.

Spy AND liar, he accused.

She shook her head and turned to answer Reth about the numbers in the encampment before the battle, the guards and their placements. Then she returned to Lerrin's gaze, but his own had gone cold. He could feel it in himself. 

Reth took a thoughtful pause, so Lerrin and Suhle had a moment uninterrupted.

Just like Asta, he growled through the link.

No, Lerrin! I never worked against you!

Liar. Pretended friend and ally. Deceiver.

Lerrin, please… Her voice in his head was soft, pleading and it tore at his heart like claws on a tender belly. 

"When did he stop supporting my reign and resolve to overthrow me?" Reth's deep voice was slower than it had been, more cautious.

Suhle, her eyes becoming pink as she fought tears, blinked and tried to refocus. Lerrin glared at her, but left his mind fully open, even offering her the memories of the moment—minutes after the death of his father, when he knew his sister would be called to testify before the entire Anima because Reth denied that his union with her gave her rights the throne.

Lerrin had believed Reth had taken his sister's rightful place at the Rite and sullied it, then discarded her when something he wanted better came along. Then he'd murdered their father, provocation be damned.

Lerrin snorted the scent of the King from his nose. He knew Reth regretted the decision—the entire episode. And he knew his sister had… exaggerated Reth's involvement in it. But he still remained angry and disgusted that it had happened at all. 

Suhle, in a halting voice, began to relay all of this to Reth.

But Lerrin wasn't done. Inside his mind, he began pelting her with other memories. Other motives. 

Tell him about the moment you offered your service to me, that you begged for a master—but made no mention of your alliance with him.

Lerrin, please!

Lerrin shoved the memory at her—how he'd been startled to realize she didn't feel safe. How he'd taken her for no reason other than her own safety, vowing that he would not touch her against her will.

How she had warily answered his questions about her past and made no mention of working with Reth.

I am not an official spy! I am my own person. He does not order me. I take him what I determine to be important!

Lerrin huffed again. 

"Did he ever partake in this… breeding?" Reth growled. "These attacks on females of other tribes? Did he know of them, or in any way encourage them?"

Suhle answered sharply, "No! He was unaware. I had to… to show him… to make him see. As soon as he did, he began planning to remove those wolves from among the people."

Show him, Suhle, Lerrin snarled through the link. Show him all of it. That's why I'm here, right? Because you both conspired to bring me to this point, to make sure I was not a true challenge to him.

No! she sobbed and her eyes welled. She had turned mostly away from Reth, to face him. Lerrin flung the memories at her.

The night she'd shared her story and he'd wanted her, so badly, but forced himself to keep his hands to himself out of fear she would be frightened off.

Thank you, Suhle breathed in his mind.

How he'd interrupted Daryn trying to take advantage of her, stood between them and removed the male from the Security Council for it—because of his care for her. How he would have done it anyway, but it gave him satisfaction to do it for her, because she already owned his heart.

Her eyes softened at that and Lerrin flinched. 

She sent him back the memories of the moment he declared himself. The moment he recognized the bond and made her see it too. All the moments he held her, so carefully.

The first time he told her he loved her.

Lerrin dropped his head in his hands, his love for her doing battle with his anger.

You lied to me, he hissed through the bond. You cannot be trusted.

No! You are mine, Lerrin, and I am yours. That is real! That is true!

I will deny it!

Please, Lerrin! Her voice was desperate—almost as desperate as when she'd been certain he was about to die.

Thank the Creator we never completed the bond, he snarled. We will not—

Lerrin, please, don't do this. 

—I will never take the bond now—

Don't vow something you don't mean!

—I refuse you, he snarled. I refuse the true mate's bond. I deny you. I have no mate. 

Suhle made a little cry and dropped to her knees, reaching for him. But something inside him had died. Lerrin was cold. Cold as ice. Frozen from within. His heart cracked, whining like ice between his teeth. 

Suhle's hand shook as she stretched to place it on his knee, to grab him, to plead with him, but Lerrin stood and walked a few feet away, his back to both of them. 

"What's going on?" Reth asked carefully.

"What's going on is that I will not bond my life to someone who would lie and manipulate me. Who would present themselves to me as… as something pure and giving, when in truth they have pursued an agenda. I have been toyed with—

"NO!" Suhle gave a guttural moan and sprang to her feet. He could feel the vibrations in the wood beneath his feet as she darted across the floor to take his arm and pull him around. 

But even her touch made him recoil. He stared down at her as she took him by the shoulders, eyes blazing with tears of grief and anger. 

"No!" she repeated, shaking him. "I am your True Mate. And you are mine, Lerrin. MINE!"

"You should have thought about that before you lied to me."

"I told you I almost went back to him! I told you I admired his rule! Your anger—"

He leaned down into her face and spat, "And I took those words from you because I trusted you. Because I thought you offered them for my wellbeing, for my good—to find my purpose!"

"I did!"

"NO YOU DIDN'T!" he roared. "You had a plan from the moment you entered that encampment—you started it with my sister, and ended it with me!"

"I never pretended, Lerrin!" she sobbed, still shaking him by the arms. "It was real. It was all real!" her voice cracked and her tears spilled over.

Lerrin shook with the turmoil of it all—the sense of betrayal, the fear that he'd been deceived, the anger that she had made herself to be his angel, when in fact she angled for his defeat. The love he felt for her, the yearning to be close, conflicting with the revulsion that she'd lied and he'd fallen for it.

"I thought you were good," he muttered through his teeth, refusing to allow himself to reach for her, though he ached to wipe her tears and hold her close—and also felt nauseated by the idea. "I thought you were so much better than this."