Chapter 156: ¹⁵⁶: deeper than the ocean

Chapter 156: 1??: deeper than the ocean

As I said that, I saw the subtle hint of guilt flashing across Kael’s eyes, so brief that I almost wondered whether I had imagined it. But I had noticed it, and that was enough for me to know that this was the time to say the words I had always kept as a precedent, the explanation I had wanted him to believe for why I had agreed to something that had been so unjust to me.

I lowered my gaze for a moment before looking back at him. "And I know I will have to die just to have these few moments with you that I had foolishly craved to have all my life."

My voice softened as I said those words, but I forced myself to continue. This was what I had always wanted him to believe. I always wanted him to believe that this was the reason I had for accepting everything despite knowing exactly how it would end.

I finally let a stray tear escape from the corner of my eye. It slipped down my cheek as I looked at him through my wet eyelashes. "You don’t have to worry. This thing between us will end with me taking my last breath in front of you..."

My words were cut short as I found my mouth being shut. Before I could finish the sentence, Kael had suddenly moved closer and put his lips onto mine and silenced me with a kiss without any warning.

I froze because for the time being, my mind seemed incapable of processing what had just happened. The suddenness of it left me completely dumbfounded, especially after everything we had just said to each other.

Kael didn’t give me the chance to recover from the shock. It was as if the scuffle between us moments ago had never happened, as if we had been merely talking like some love birds and now he could not take it any longer and went forward to kiss me. The abrupt change left me struggling to understand what had prompted him to do this.

"Umm..." The small sound escaped me before I could stop it. I was trying to make myself comfortable while Kael didn’t leave my lips for even a second, deepening the kiss as if his life depended on it.

My hands instinctively moved from my sides, gripping onto him as I tried to steady myself. I was still struggling to regain my balance after his sudden movement, and for a moment, all I could focus on was keeping myself from being overwhelmed by the force of his actions and to not be crushed by his sudden weight.

Kael moved his hands, holding my waist as he pulled me up, not leaving my lips for even a second in the meantime. He bit my lower lip, something he always did when I didn’t wield to his whims of wanting to make the kiss deeper.

I had no choice but to open my mouth instinctively as I tried to fight the sudden pain from his bite. Kael however didn’t care about any of that. He clenched his hands on my waist making me confident that he had left marks there by doing so.

I gulped as I felt his tongue moving inside my mouth now, wrapping itself around mine leaving me no chance of even trying to overpower him in the thing.

His hands tightened around my waist as he pulled me closer, and I instinctively stiffened at the suddenness of the movement. My fingers curled against him as I tried to steady myself, my thoughts becoming more scattered with every passing second.

I swallowed hard, my mind still caught somewhere between the argument we had been having and the completely unexpected turn it had taken. How had everything changed so quickly?

Just moments ago, I had been standing in front of him, telling him exactly how much his words hurt me. I had been determined to make him understand that I wasn’t someone he could simply disregard.

And now, I couldn’t even make sense of his reaction. I tried to gather myself, but the confusion inside me only grew. This wasn’t how Kael had behaved when I first met him. Nothing about this felt like the Kael I had known in the beginning.

The Kael I remembered had been considerate in his own way. He had been the one who asked me whether I felt rushed, the one who seemed to notice when I was uncomfortable. Yet the man in front of me now seemed almost like a completely different person.

I felt my throat tighten as I realized just how drastic the change had been. There had been a time when I could predict his reactions. Now, I couldn’t predict him at all.

My hands remained where they were as I tried to steady myself, while my mind kept returning to the same unsettling thought.

Just in such a short time, Kael had now turned from the initially considerate one who always asked me if I wasn’t feeling too rushed into someone who seemed almost monstrous.

It was as if he was now a completely different person from the man I had met the first time. And the worst part was that I was beginning to like even this side of him. The realization itself made me feel almost guilty.

Right now, we have been fighting with each other. I should have found his sudden closeness and him kissing me nothing but an inconvenience that I had to endure. I should have been angry with him for behaving this way after everything he had just said to me.

Instead, I found myself strangely affected by it. I was finding it rather exciting. What had even happened to me?

I was no longer behaving like myself whenever I was around Kael. It was as if I had developed this strange alter ego that took over my body whenever things between us became this intense.

The thought made me tighten my grip on the side of his shirt. I didn’t understand myself anymore.

Kael however acted as if he did not have any of the conflicting thoughts like I had he moved even more closer to me, our chests pressed against each other’s now as he then sucked on my tongue.

My mind felt completely fogged when he did that, all I wanted to do was reciprocate his actions and for those few moments, everything we had been arguing about seemed to slip further and further away.

The anger, the words, the determination I had built up only moments ago, all of it became difficult to hold onto.

Before I could dwell on the feeling any longer, Kael suddenly pulled away. The abrupt distance finally threw some sense in my mind, making me realize just how breathless I had become. I drew in a deep breath almost immediately, my chest rising as I tried to steady myself.

I looked up at Kael. My hands were still clutching the fabric of his shirt, and I didn’t even realize how tightly I had been holding onto it until then. His expression was unreadable as he looked down at me, and that expression alone was enough to remind me of what we had been talking about only moments ago.

The argument hadn’t disappeared. It had merely been interrupted.

"You are so good at this, Athena," he said, another statement that made no sense to me as to why he was saying that. His voice sounded different now. He lifted a hand and tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. Under any other circumstances, I might have taken the gesture as considerate, even gentle.

But looking at his face, I couldn’t tell whether it really was. There was something about his expression that made me hesitate. And his next words only made everything more confusing.

"I know I am acting really foolish," he said, taking a deep breath. His hands moved back toward my waist, and I instinctively stiffened at the sudden movement. "But I just can’t help my pathetic self."

I opened my mouth, wanting to ask him what he actually meant. What was he talking about? Why was he behaving this way? Why did he seem almost frustrated with himself?

But before I could ask any of those questions, Kael suddenly moved, taking me along with him. The unexpected movement caught me completely off guard.

I quickly wrapped my arms around his neck, afraid that I would lose my balance. My heart jumped at the sudden shift, and I held onto him instinctively while trying to understand what he was doing.

"Wrap your legs around mine," Kael said, moving his one hand to my right leg as he caressed my exposed skin slowly, sending a chill down to my core by the mere touch..

His words and actions both left me momentarily stunned. Yet my body reacted before my mind could catch up. I moved my legs around his waist, still holding onto him as I looked directly at his face.

I couldn’t seem to look away. There was something in his expression that kept drawing my attention, even though I couldn’t understand what it meant.

His eyes met mine. For a few seconds, neither of us said anything. Then Kael’s expression suddenly changed.

"Don’t look at me like that," he said, taking a deep breath as though the sight of my expression was somehow difficult for him to bear.