Chapter 14: THE FEELING THAT NEVER FADES

The final bell finally rang, its long echo reverberating throughout the corridors of Phoenix Academy, signaling that Kai’s duty at the school gate was complete. The sound was like a siren freeing him from the obligation of greeting arriving students—some with friendly smiles, some with piercing, suspicious stares, and some with expressions he couldn’t read, like unsolved riddles. Kai let out a long sigh of relief, his previously tense shoulders finally relaxing after nearly an hour of standing under the morning sun, smiling and nodding like a normal person who wasn’t hiding a dark past.

Leina beside him was still smiling, a smile that hadn’t faded from her face since this morning, as if she were enjoying every second of this long morning, as if she never got tired, as if this world were a beautiful place without worries. Her warm brown eyes stared at Kai with curiosity, as if she were still trying to solve the puzzle named Kai Arden, as if she were still curious about the strange man who had almost hugged her this morning.

"Thank you for your help, Mr. Kai," Leina said in a soft voice like a morning stream, her eyes sparkling with sincerity. "I hope you have a wonderful day. And don’t forget, if you need any help, I’m in the teachers’ room. I’m always happy to assist."

"Thank you too, Ms. Leina," Kai replied while slightly bowing, a movement that still felt awkward on his body but was more natural than yesterday. "I also... uh, I’m glad to work with you. Maybe another time we could..." He stopped, unsure of what to say. What should I do? Ask her for coffee? No, that’s too weird. Ask her to talk? I don’t know what to talk about.

Kai felt his face flush slightly, and he quickly turned around, walking fast away from the school gate before Leina could see his warming cheeks. He didn’t want to linger—today he had to teach, and he still had to prepare everything properly. Unlike yesterday, when he came in a rush and was almost late, when he panicked because his alarm went off in his bag in front of Diana, when he ran like a madman and almost bumped into Mira. Today had to be different. Today he would be a normal teacher.

Kai walked quickly down the corridor toward the teachers’ room, his hurried footsteps echoing on the ceramic floor gleaming under the morning sun streaming through the large windows. The teachers’ room was on the ground floor, not far from the entrance gate, and Kai already knew the route after two days at this school—every turn, every door, every corner he could use to avoid crowds. He opened the teachers’ room door somewhat loudly—too loudly, because several teachers already seated inside turned to look at him with raised eyebrows, their expressions a mixture of curiosity and disapproval.

Kai didn’t care. He didn’t have time for pleasantries, didn’t have time to introduce himself, didn’t have time to explain who he was and why he was here. He immediately rushed toward his desk in the corner of the room, a small desk that was still empty, unadorned, without photos, without anything indicating that someone occupied it. The desk was like him—empty, unfilled, waiting to be filled with something meaningful. He took the attendance book from the drawer, then chalk from the small box on the desk, and the textbook he had painstakingly prepared last night, reading every page until his eyes stung from exhaustion. He checked the contents of his bag once more—the old leather wallet with some cash, the rusted apartment key, the old phone that could only make calls and receive texts—and made sure everything was in its place.

But in his haste, he didn’t notice that someone was standing behind the door. When he turned to leave, his body nearly collided with a figure that suddenly appeared before him—a figure with shoulder-length black hair and a smile that had become too familiar this morning.

"Careful, Mr. Kai!"

Leina’s voice sounded with a tone half-panicked, half-joking, and with quick reflexes—perhaps because she was used to avoiding danger on the battlefield, or perhaps because she had already suspected that Kai would bump into her—she stepped aside with an elegant movement, avoiding the near-collision by a few centimeters. Kai, who was in a hurry, nearly lost his balance, his body tilting forward, but he managed to steady himself with his hand against the wall, his rough palm pressing against the cold paint surface.

"Sorry, Ms. Leina!" Kai said quickly, without stopping, without turning around, without giving Leina a chance to respond. "I’m in a hurry! I have to get to class immediately!"

"Don’t bump into the students, Sir!" Leina shouted from behind, her soft voice sounding louder than usual, half-serious, half-joking, like an older sister reminding her careless younger brother.

But Kai had already dashed out of the teachers’ room, his feet carrying him quickly down the corridor, leaving Leina who could only shake her head with a small smile, her eyes following Kai’s retreating back with an expression between amused and curious.

Kai ran down the corridor, passing several classrooms already filling with the sounds of students sitting at their desks, laughter and chatter blending together like a morning symphony he had never heard before. His long legs carried him quickly up the stairs to the second floor, each step feeling light beneath his feet, where Class IX-9 was located at the end of the corridor, the furthest corner, away from the crowds, away from the suspicious stares of other students. He didn’t want to be late on his second day of teaching. He didn’t want to give the girls in his class a bad impression. He wanted them to see that he was serious, that he cared, that he wouldn’t abandon them like previous teachers.

Finally, he arrived in front of Class IX-9’s door. He stopped for a moment, taking a deep breath to calm his still-racing heart after running, his chest heaving rapidly. His slightly trembling hand straightened his jacket—still rumpled, but not as bad as yesterday. He adjusted his tie—still tilted to the left, but not as bad as yesterday. He checked his bag—everything was there, nothing left in the teachers’ room. Chalk in hand, book in hand, attendance in hand.

Everything is ready, Kai thought, and he felt the tension in his shoulders begin to ease slightly. I can do this. I can be a good teacher. I won’t panic like yesterday. I won’t carry anyone to the infirmary. I will be a normal teacher.

He opened the classroom door slowly, and nine pairs of eyes immediately fixed on him—nine pairs of eyes with nine different expressions, nine different stories, nine different pasts. The students sat neatly at their respective desks, like soldiers waiting for their commander.

Aria in the first row left sat with her usual restless expression, her large eyes darting here and there, her fingers nervously biting her nails, she always looked like she was waiting for a disaster to happen, like she could never truly be calm. Ella in the first row center sat with her back straight, her sharp eyes already observing Kai’s every move since the door opened, like a detective searching for clues, like she already knew Kai was hiding something. Luna in the first row right still stared at him with a dissatisfied expression, her cold eyes like ice, her pouting lips showing she hadn’t forgotten this morning’s incident, that she was still angry about what happened between Kai and Iris.

In the second row, Rin sat with her arms crossed, her chin lifted high, her sharp eyes staring at Kai with a challenge she didn’t hide, as if she were waiting for Kai to make a mistake so she could laugh at him. Mira smiled widely, her eyes sparkling with unfading enthusiasm, as if nothing could ruin her day, as if she were a ray of sunshine in a dark room. Eve had already opened her laptop, her fingers dancing across the keyboard with impressive speed, her eyes behind round glasses focused on the screen, as if the world around her didn’t exist.

In the third row, Fay was drawing in her notebook with abstract scribbles only she understood, occasionally letting out a small laugh for no apparent reason, like she was hearing a joke no one else could hear. Iris smiled mysteriously, her eyes staring at Kai with a smile he couldn’t read, a smile that made Kai feel like he was being targeted, like he was becoming the target of a game he didn’t understand. And Nora sat upright with unfading vigilance, her eyes moving to survey the entire room, her arms crossed over her chest, like a guard ready to protect her friends from any threat.

Kai walked to the center of the classroom, stood in front of the blackboard, and placed his belongings on the teacher’s desk with movements he tried to make appear calm and confident. He looked at the nine girls before him, and for a moment, he felt something warm in his chest—something akin to gratitude, gratitude that they were still here, that they were still willing to accept him as their teacher, that they hadn’t run away after seeing his dark side yesterday.

"Uhk..." Kai cleared his throat softly to begin, making a sound loud enough to get all the students’ attention. "Good morning, everyone. Today we’ll be learning about literature."

He wrote the lesson title on the blackboard with white chalk, his handwriting neat and firm—too firm, like a soldier’s handwriting accustomed to writing mission reports, like the handwriting of someone who was never taught how to write beautifully. He turned to face them with a small smile he tried to maintain despite feeling stiff on his face, like the muscles in his face had never been trained to form that expression.

"Take out your literature books and open to page 32. We’ll be discussing poetry and its structural elements."

Some students obediently took out their books. Aria opened her book quickly, almost tearing the pages in her eagerness, like she was afraid of missing something. Ella opened hers slowly, her eyes still watching Kai, like she was trying to figure out what lay behind Kai’s words, like she didn’t believe Kai truly wanted to teach them. Luna opened her book without looking at Kai at all, perhaps still angry about this morning, perhaps not wanting to give Kai the satisfaction of showing she cared.

In the second row, Mira opened her book enthusiastically, her eyes sparkling with excitement, as if literature were the most interesting thing in the world. Rin opened hers lazily, her fingers tapping the desk with an impatient rhythm, like she was already bored before the lesson even began. Eve opened her book without lifting her head from her laptop, her hands still typing something at high speed, like she could do two things at once without issue.

In the third row, Fay kept drawing, but her book was already open beside her, like she knew she had to pay attention even if she didn’t want to. Iris smiled while opening her book, her eyes staring at Kai with a smile that made Kai feel slightly uncomfortable. Nora opened her book with controlled movements, her eyes still moving to survey the entire room, like she never truly relaxed.

Kai began explaining about poetry, about rhythm flowing like a river, about rhyme repeating like a mantra, about diction chosen carefully like a sharpened sword, and about imagery built by words like a painting created with ink. He spoke with a voice he tried not to make too flat—not like a commander giving instructions on the battlefield, but like a teacher who wanted his students to understand, like someone who wanted to share something valuable.

He explained more deeply about figurative language and stylistic devices, writing terms on the blackboard with white chalk that was beginning to run out, his writing growing thinner as the chalk grew shorter. He gave example sentences to explain each term, and occasionally he asked the students if they understood. Mira nodded enthusiastically, like she was enjoying every word coming from Kai’s mouth. Rin nodded lazily, like she just wanted this lesson to end soon. Ella nodded politely, but her eyes remained sharp, still searching. And Luna stayed silent—but she wasn’t looking out the window, which might mean she was listening, which might mean she still cared despite being angry.

And when Kai was explaining about metaphors—about how words could have deeper meanings than what appeared, about how a word could represent feelings that couldn’t be expressed—suddenly a voice from the back broke his concentration.

"Ouch, Mr. Kai..."

The voice was soft, but it was clearly audible in the silent classroom. The voice was accompanied by a feigned groan, a groan too dramatic to be genuine pain, like someone performing on a stage. Kai stopped mid-sentence, the chalk in his hand ceasing to move on the blackboard, and he quickly turned around.

Kai’s eyes immediately fell on Iris—the girl with wavy brown hair sitting in the third row center, behind Mira, beside Fay and Nora. She was looking down, her body slightly bent forward, and both her hands were clutching her stomach tightly, her fingers pressing into her uniform fabric like she was enduring tremendous pain. Her face was hidden by her hair falling forward, but Kai could see her shoulders trembling slightly—perhaps from pain, or perhaps from something else.

"Ouch... my stomach hurts so much, Sir..."

Iris’s voice sounded even more dramatic than before, and Kai felt his heart beat faster, like an alarm sounding in his head. She’s sick. Iris is sick. She has a stomachache. What should I do? Is this serious? Is she just pretending? But what if she’s really sick? I can’t take risks. I can’t let someone die because of my negligence.

Quickly, Kai ran toward Iris, so fast he nearly dropped the chalk still in his hand, nearly dropped the book he was holding in the other. He stopped beside Iris’s desk, leaned down, and stared at the girl with an expression of worry he didn’t hide, his eyes widening with panic beginning to creep into his chest. He didn’t immediately pick her up like he did with Rin yesterday—he learned from that mistake. He wanted to check first, wanted to ask, wanted not to make the same mistake again.

"Iris, what’s wrong?" Kai asked in a voice trying to remain calm, but still sounding panicked at the edges, like he was trying to hold himself back from running to the infirmary with Iris in his arms. "Where does it hurt? What are you feeling? Since when? Did you have breakfast this morning?"

From behind, Ella let out a soft sigh, her sharp eyes already seeing what was happening. She knew—she knew Iris was pretending. She had seen this trick from Iris many times, had seen Iris use fake pain to get attention, to make people around her panic, to see their reactions. But she couldn’t say anything, not in front of a new teacher who was still innocent, not in front of Kai who looked so worried and sincere.

"Ouch... my stomach hurts so much, Sir..." Iris moaned with an increasingly dramatic voice, her hands still clutching her stomach tightly, her fingers pressing into her uniform like she was trying to hold back something she couldn’t contain. "It feels like... like something is stabbing... right here..." She pointed to her lower abdomen, then looked down again, her shoulders trembling harder.

Kai began to tremble. His hand holding the chalk started shaking, and he felt cold sweat beginning to wet his forehead, dripping down his temples. She’s sick. Iris is sick. What should I do? Should I take her to the infirmary? But what if this is just a trick like yesterday? But what if it’s serious? I can’t take risks. I can’t let someone die because of my negligence. I’ve seen too many people die because I didn’t act fast enough.

"Hang in there, Iris!" Kai said in a voice starting to rise, like a commander giving orders on the battlefield. "Sir will take you to the infirmary! Don’t worry, you’ll be fine! I promise!"

Without thinking further, without waiting for Iris’s answer, Kai lifted the girl in a princess carry—one arm under her back, the other under her knees, lifting her body gently but firmly. Iris’s body lifted easily, light as a feather, and Kai was already running toward the door, his feet moving fast like he was dodging enemy fire.

But Kai didn’t see that Iris’s face, which had been pale from "pain," was now turning bright red. Red spreading from her cheeks to the tips of her ears, red she couldn’t hide, red making her look like a ripe tomato under the sun. Her body being carried in that manner made her feel extremely embarrassed—embarrassed because all her friends were watching, embarrassed because her new teacher was carrying her so intimately, embarrassed because she hadn’t expected her plan to backfire like this, embarrassed because she couldn’t control the situation she had created herself.

"I-I can walk on my own, Sir..." Iris whispered in a voice no longer dramatic, but barely audible over Kai’s fast footsteps. "I was just—I didn’t—"

But Kai didn’t hear her—he was already running out of the room, leaving eight girls exchanging glances with various expressions, leaving a classroom that suddenly felt much quieter than before.

Ella let out a long sigh and shook her head slowly, her eyes watching the now-closed door with an expression between annoyed and amused. "If you’re embarrassed, it’s better not to do it," she said softly, just loud enough for her friends nearby to hear. "Now look at the consequences. Iris pretended to be sick, and now she’s being carried like a mermaid princess to the infirmary."

Mira laughed quietly behind her, covering her mouth with her hand, her eyes sparkling with mischief she didn’t hide. "But it’s fun, right? Mr. Kai panicked again! I like seeing Mr. Kai panic. He’s cute!"

Rin smiled faintly, a smile showing she enjoyed this chaos, that she didn’t mind seeing Iris get a lesson about consequences. "At least she’s learning. Maybe next time she won’t pretend to be sick."

Luna still wore an annoyed expression, but her eyes followed Kai running out with Iris in his arms, and there was something in her eyes she couldn’t hide—something akin to jealousy, something that made her clench her fists under the desk.