Chapter 12: A Tiring Morning

The morning sun began to creep through the gap in the worn-out curtains of Kai’s apartment, illuminating the small room that had been his home for the past two years. Golden light fell directly onto his face, waking him from a surprisingly deep sleep—for the first time in a long while, he hadn’t dreamed of fire and blood. Last night had been different; after his encounter with Diana Noa in the hallway, Kai felt something shift inside him. Something he couldn’t explain but felt like a weight slightly lifted, like a sliver of light entering the dark space he had inhabited for so long.

The apartment was still the same as always—messy, dull, and full of remnants of an untidy life. The old sofa with springs protruding in several places was still his bed, its cushions flattened and uncomfortable, but Kai was used to the discomfort. Before him, the low wooden table shorter than the sofa was still covered with empty bottles and piles of unread papers—old mission reports he should have thrown away long ago, but for some reason, he still kept them. Maybe because they were the only proof that he had once been something, had once been part of something, even if that something was what he now wanted to leave behind.

The old refrigerator in the kitchen still leaned to the left, its door still creaked every time it was opened, and the light inside had been dead for a long time—but Kai never cared because he never stored food that needed to stay cold. His favorite drink he bought every day, and that was enough. But there was one thing missing from this apartment: the old revolver that used to always lie on the table, keeping him company on lonely nights. The revolver with one bullet inside, the revolver that always said "click" instead of "bang" every time he pulled the trigger. That revolver was now buried in the bottom drawer of the wardrobe, under a pile of dirty laundry that hadn’t been washed in a week, and Kai felt no need to take it out anymore.

Kai opened his eyes slowly, blinking several times to adjust to the blinding morning light. His body felt slightly sore after a night on the uncomfortable sofa, but he felt more refreshed than usual. There was energy flowing through him—energy he hadn’t felt since before the war ended, energy that made him want to get up and do something, not to survive, not to kill, but to live. He moved his shoulders, stretched his arms upward, and did a light stretch on the sofa—a simple movement that felt strange on a body accustomed to constant tension and alertness. For years, he had slept with one eye open, always ready for a surprise attack. Now, he slept peacefully, and that was a luxury he had never imagined he would have.

This is my second day as a teacher, Kai thought as he sat up straight, his eyes staring blankly at the dirty window. My second day trying to be a normal person after years of being a war machine. My second day trying to live—not for myself, but for them.

He rubbed his face with both palms, then stood and walked toward the bathroom at the end of the room. His steps were slow and heavy on the creaking wooden floor, as usual. Cold water flowed from the old rusted tap, and he splashed his face until the drowsiness completely faded, until his skin felt fresh and his eyes opened wide. He looked at the mirror—a twenty-four-year-old man with messy black hair, sunken eyes that were beginning to show a little life, and a thin scar on his left cheek stared back. But this time, there was something different in his eyes. Something he didn’t recognize. Something that resembled... hope. Hope he thought had died years ago, hope that was beginning to grow again after he decided to live.

Kai dried his face with a faded towel whose original color was long gone, then took the black suit hanging behind the door. The same suit he had worn yesterday—still wrinkled, still untidy, still full of creases on the sleeves and back—but he had no other choice. He didn’t have money to buy a new suit, and he didn’t have time to iron it. He slipped his arms into the sleeves, buttoned it with difficulty, and tried to straighten the red tie that was still crooked like yesterday. The silk fabric felt foreign in his hands, nothing like the military uniform he used to wear every day—a uniform that was simple, practical, and didn’t need special care.

I have to get used to wearing these clothes soon, Kai thought as he tugged at his tie in frustration, trying to get the knot centered. There’s no way I’ll look like a normal person if my suit is always wrinkled and my tie is always crooked. That old man didn’t tell me that being a teacher meant dealing with complicated clothes like this.

He stood in front of the small mirror attached to the wall, staring critically at his reflection. His suit was still wrinkled, his tie still slightly tilted to the left, and his pants—the gray pants that didn’t match the black suit—made him look like someone who didn’t know how to dress. He remembered how Reina had fixed his tie yesterday, how her hands moved swiftly and efficiently, how she said "You haven’t changed, Kai" with an annoyed but affectionate tone. I wish Reina were here to help me again, he thought, but I can’t keep depending on her. I have to learn on my own.

But at least, he had managed to put it on. That was already better than yesterday, when he had almost been late because he struggled with buttoning the suit and tying the tie. He learned from his mistakes, and that was something he had never done before—learn from mistakes without having to pay with life or blood. Quickly, Kai grabbed his bag—an old backpack with peeling sections, its shoulder strap starting to break on one side—and checked its contents. His old leather wallet with a few bills, his rusty apartment key, his old phone that could only make calls and receive texts, and... an alarm clock. An old alarm clock that rang every morning, the same one he used to wake himself up. He put everything into the bag, slung it over his shoulder, and walked toward the door.

No need to bring it, Kai thought, his eyes staring at the wardrobe with an unreadable expression. I don’t need it anymore. I’m not The Death anymore. I’m just Kai Arden, teacher of class IX-9, a man trying to atone for his sins.

He opened the door and stepped out, closing it softly behind him. The sound of the key turning in the lock, and he walked down the stairs with a lighter step than usual.

The apartment stairs were narrow and creaked at every step, the wood old and rotting, some sections even feeling unstable when stepped on. Kai descended slowly, his hand gripping the rusted iron railing, its rough and cold surface against his palm. The morning air inside the building felt damp and cold, mixed with the smell of dust and mustiness from walls that had never been repainted. Sunlight streaming through the small window at the end of the corridor illuminated dust particles floating in the air, creating an almost beautiful effect. Kai was almost at the ground floor when he saw someone standing in the small lobby below.

A woman with long black hair, a thin body, and simple clothes—a faded cream shirt whose color had long since faded, a long blue skirt that was no longer fresh, and worn flip-flops on her feet—stood near the exit door, her eyes moving left and right as if searching for or waiting for someone. She looked anxious, but not scared—like someone used to uncertainty but still trying to survive, like someone who had fallen many times but still dared to stand up again. Her hand held a small bag that seemed to contain important items, and occasionally she glanced at the broken wall clock in the lobby.

Kai stepped down from the last stair, his shoes touching the concrete floor with a soft sound that echoed in the quiet lobby. The woman immediately turned toward the sound, and when she saw Kai, her face broke into a warm smile accompanied by a slight bow—a gesture showing gratitude and respect, a gesture she did without thinking because it had become a habit.

"Good morning, Sir," she greeted with a soft and friendly voice—a greeting she had practiced, a greeting she gave to anyone she met in the morning, a way to maintain good relations with new neighbors, a way to survive in an unfamiliar environment.

Kai bowed slightly in return, a gesture that still felt awkward on his body—too stiff, too formal, not like a normal person who would just nod or smile. "Good morning, Mrs. Diana."

"You’re out very early this morning," Diana continued softly, her eyes observing Kai from head to toe—maybe because of his wrinkled suit, or maybe because she was still curious about the strange man who had paid her debt last night without asking for anything in return. "Are you heading to work now? You seem like a busy person."

"Yes, Mrs. Diana. I have duty today."

Diana nodded, her eyes sparkling with curiosity she didn’t hide. "If you don’t mind me asking, where do you work? I’m curious... you look like someone with an important job. Maybe at a government office? Or a private company?"

"Oh, that—I work at—"

Kai didn’t get to finish his sentence when a loud sound suddenly filled the small apartment lobby—the deafening ring of an alarm clock, coming from inside his backpack. The sound echoed off the dusty concrete walls, creating a reverberation that made Diana startle. Her eyes widened, and for a moment, she looked like someone unsure of what had just happened—her mouth open, eyebrows raised, head tilted slightly to the side.

Kai quickly opened his bag, his hand moving swiftly into the main compartment, searching for the source of the noise. The old alarm clock he had put in earlier—the same one he used to wake up, the one he had forgotten to turn off after it woke him—was ringing incessantly, like it was angry at not being silenced on time. He pressed the button on top with a slightly trembling finger, and the sound stopped immediately, leaving behind a silence that suddenly felt louder than the ringing.

Diana was still staring at Kai with slightly rounded eyes, her mouth half open, but no words coming out. Maybe she was trying to understand why a grown man was carrying an alarm clock in his bag, or maybe she was trying to hold back laughter at the amusing situation.

"Oh, sorry, Mrs. Diana," Kai said hastily, his face slightly flushed with embarrassment, his cheeks feeling hot. "I have to go. Sorry for disturbing you so early in the morning."

Quickly, he shoved the alarm clock back into his bag—without properly turning it off, because it started ringing again—and hurried toward the exit. His hand grabbed the cold iron doorknob, opened it, and he stepped out into the fresh morning air, leaving Diana still standing in the lobby with an expression half-confused, half-amused.

"Oh, alright, Sir. Take care on the road," Diana said from behind, her voice still carrying a hint of confusion she didn’t hide, mixed with a suppressed laugh. She waved her hand with a small smile—a smile that showed she didn’t fully understand what had just happened but didn’t want to make it seem strange.

Kai was already jogging on the sidewalk, his bag swinging on his shoulder, and from inside it, the alarm clock kept ringing loudly until it finally stopped on its own after a few seconds. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart, and tried to forget the embarrassment still burning on his cheeks.

Kai kept running, his feet pounding the asphalt with a steady rhythm, his breathing becoming regular after a few minutes. He tried to control his breathing so he wouldn’t be out of breath, making sure sweat didn’t soak his forehead. Today he didn’t want to arrive at school with a sweaty face like yesterday. He wanted to look like a normal teacher, a teacher who could be trusted, a teacher who wouldn’t make his students wonder what was wrong with him. He wanted to be someone who didn’t arouse suspicion, someone who didn’t make others wonder about his past.

He chose the main road today, avoiding the narrow alley where he had bumped into Mira yesterday. That alley might be faster, but the risk of meeting someone who could bump into him again was too high. He didn’t want to repeat yesterday’s incident—didn’t want to bump into another girl, didn’t want to make a bad impression as a careless and rude teacher. The main city road that morning was starting to get busy with activity—some shops were already open, street vendors were starting to arrange their goods, and several people were walking at a leisurely pace toward their workplaces. The sound of vehicles was starting to be heard, though still sparse, and the morning air felt fresh with the aroma of toasted bread from the bakery on the corner.

Kai observed his surroundings as he walked, his eyes moving slowly from one place to another. A woman was buying vegetables at a roadside stall, her hand holding a worn woven basket, her eyes focused on choosing fresh vegetables. A small child ran chasing a cat, his cheerful laughter sounding like small bells chiming in the morning. A few teenagers were chatting in front of the bakery while waiting for school to start, their bags hanging casually on their shoulders, occasionally laughing together as if they had no cares in the world. Across the street, an old man was watering plants in front of his house, his movements slow and attentive, as if he was caring for something precious.

He saw a small shop with a glass display case showing various items—watches, accessories, and some books with colorful covers. He saw an old man sitting on a bench in front of the shop, reading a newspaper with glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose, occasionally sighing and shaking his head as if reading unpleasant news. He saw two young women walking hand in hand, laughing together as if they had no worries in the world, their hair blowing in the morning breeze. He saw a boy running to catch a bus, his bag open and his books almost falling, but he managed to catch them just before the bus left.

All of this still exists, Kai thought, and inside his chest, there was a strange feeling—a feeling like relief, like gratitude, like something he had buried long ago. Life goes on, even after war. Even after everything that happened. Even after I almost died. Life goes on, and I... I’m still here, being part of it all.

And inside his chest, something warm began to grow—something he didn’t recognize, but he didn’t want to stop it. Maybe it was hope. Maybe it was gratitude. Maybe it was just the feeling that he was still alive, and that was enough.

Finally, Kai reached the iron gate of Phoenix Academy. He stopped for a moment to catch his breath, wiped the sweat from his forehead that was starting to appear despite his efforts to keep it from showing, and straightened his suit that was getting more wrinkled after running. He pulled at his tie—still crooked—and tried to make it look neater by pulling it to the left, then to the right, then to the left again, until he gave up because he didn’t know which was correct.

This is my best effort, Kai thought as he sighed, his eyes staring at the school gate ahead with a mix of tension and hope. I can only try. And today, I’ll try harder than yesterday.

He stepped through the gate, and there, just to the right of the fence like yesterday, a woman stood with shoulder-length black hair, tied back halfway with a simple clip. Her face was clean and fresh, her eyes warm brown like the afternoon sun, and her smile—the same smile he had seen yesterday, a smile that made him feel something familiar, though he didn’t know what. She wore a simple white blouse and a long gray skirt, with a book in her hand—maybe an attendance book, maybe notes, Kai couldn’t see clearly because the book was closed. She stood gracefully, like someone used to the morning routine, and she smiled when she saw Kai coming.

The same woman, Kai thought, and for a moment, he felt like he was back to yesterday. She’s here again. Who is she?

The woman saw Kai coming, and her eyes sparkled with recognition. She smiled wider—a sincere and warm smile, a smile that made Kai feel better, a smile that seemed to say she was glad to see Kai—and stepped closer to him with light steps.

"Good morning, Mr. Kai," she greeted softly, calmly, and quietly—a voice like a gentle stream on a quiet morning, a voice that made anyone who heard it feel better, a voice that calmed like soft music in the ear.

Kai bowed slightly in return, his mouth opening to answer. "Good morning, Miss..."

But the words stopped midway. Kai fell silent, blinking several times, his brain working hard to remember this woman’s name. Who is she? I saw her yesterday. I know I saw her. But I never knew her name. Is she a teacher? Is she school staff? Why did I never ask? Why do I always forget things like this?

The woman observed the confusion on Kai’s face, and her eyes sparkled with a hint of mischief. She smiled wider—a smile that made Kai feel like he was being teased, like he was being tested, like he was being played by a woman who was clearly smarter than him.

"You don’t know the name of the teacher on duty with you?" she asked with a slightly playful tone, her eyes studying Kai with curiosity, her smile never fading. "That makes me a little sad, you know. I’ve been waiting for you since earlier."

Quickly, the woman brought her face close to Kai—so close that Kai could see every detail of her face, every eyelash, every curve of her sweet smile, every small freckle on her cheeks that made her look younger than her age. Her smile was sweet, but her eyes sparkled with intelligence she didn’t hide—she seemed to be enjoying Kai’s confusion, like she was testing his reaction, like she was playing with a man she found interesting and amusing at the same time.

"Sorry, Miss," Kai replied, his voice slightly awkward, his cheeks starting to flush with embarrassment. I should have asked her name yesterday. I should have remembered. Why do I always forget things like this?

The woman laughed softly—a light and pleasant laugh, a laugh that made Kai feel better despite his embarrassment, a laugh like the tinkling of small bells on a quiet morning. "Hahaha, I’m just kidding, Sir. I know this is your first time on duty, so it’s natural you don’t know all the teachers’ names yet." She patted Kai’s shoulder gently, her warm palm touching his suit fabric for a moment, then stepped back slowly and began to introduce herself more seriously, her demeanor shifting from playful to professional.

"Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Leina Valeria," she said with a slight bow, her hand holding the book in front of her like a teacher introducing herself at the front of a class. "I’m the English teacher here, and today I’m on duty with you. Nice to meet you, Mr. Kai."

"Nice to meet you too, Miss Leina—"

Kai stopped mid-sentence. His brain began processing the information he had just received, like a machine suddenly turning on after being off for a long time. Leina Valeria. Valeria. Valeria...

"EEEEEH?!" A loud sound came out of Kai’s mouth—a sound unbecoming of a former war machine, a sound full of surprise he didn’t hide, a sound that made some students who were just entering turn toward them with curiosity. His eyes widened, his mouth open, and he stared at Leina with an expression he couldn’t control—a mix of shock, confusion, and disbelief. "Valeria?!"

Leina blinked, slightly surprised by Kai’s reaction. She tilted her head, her eyes studying Kai with growing curiosity, her smile still on her lips but confusion in her eyes. "Yes, Sir. Valeria. Why? Is there something wrong with my name?"

"So Miss Leina is Miss Reina’s sister?!" Kai asked, his voice still high, his hand half-raised in an unclear gesture—like he didn’t know where to put his hands, like he was trying to hold something back, like he was trying to process too much information for his brain.

Leina smiled widely, as if she was enjoying Kai’s reaction, as if she had expected Kai to react this way, as if she already knew that Kai and Reina had a history. She stepped back slightly, not out of discomfort, but out of embarrassment—her face flushing slightly, the red creeping from her cheeks to her ears, making her look younger and sweeter.

"Yes, Mr. Kai," she said softly and gently, her eyes looking down for a moment before meeting Kai’s again. "I am Miss Reina’s younger sister. We both work here. Sister Reina as the principal, and me as the English teacher."

Kai heard that, and for a moment, he couldn’t control himself. His body moved on reflex—a reflex he had buried long ago, a reflex that appeared when he saw someone he knew, someone he trusted, someone who made him feel safe. His hand reached out, his body leaning forward, and he almost—almost—hugged Leina. Reina. Reina’s sister. The woman who saved my life. The woman who stitched my wounds without anesthesia. The woman who shouted at me every time I was about to die. And her sister is here, in front of me, smiling at me like I’m a normal person.