Chapter 10: A Feeling That Never Fades

The bell finally rang, a long sound echoing through the corridors of Phoenix Academy, signaling that Kai’s duty at the school gate was over. The sound was like a siren releasing him from the obligation of greeting students—some with friendly smiles, some with piercing suspicious stares, and some with expressions he couldn’t read, like unsolved riddles. Kai let out a long sigh of relief, his shoulders, tense from earlier, finally relaxing after nearly an hour of standing under the morning sun, smiling and nodding like a normal person who didn’t hide a dark past.

Leina beside him was still smiling, a smile that never faded from her face since morning, as if she enjoyed every second of this long morning, as if she never got tired, as if the world was a beautiful place without worries. Her warm brown eyes looked at Kai with curiosity, as if she was still trying to solve the puzzle named Kai Arden, as if she was still curious about the strange man who almost hugged her this morning.

"Thank you for helping, Mr. Kai," Leina said in a soft voice like a stream in the morning, her eyes sparkling sincerely. "I hope your day goes well. And don’t forget, if you need help, I’m in the teachers’ room. I’m always happy to help."

"Thank you too, Miss Leina," Kai replied with a slight bow, a gesture still awkward on his body but more natural than yesterday. "I... um, enjoyed working with you. Maybe another time we could..." He stopped, not knowing what to say. What should I do? Ask her for coffee? No, that’s too weird. Ask her to talk? I don’t know what to talk about.

Kai felt his face flush slightly, and he quickly turned, walking fast away from the school gate before Leina could see his warming cheeks. He didn’t want to linger—today he had to teach, and he still had to prepare everything properly. Not like yesterday, when he came in a hurry and almost late, when he panicked because his alarm clock went off in his bag in front of Diana, when he ran like a madman and almost bumped into Mira. Today had to be different. Today he would be a normal teacher.

Kai walked quickly along the corridor toward the teachers’ room, his hurried footsteps echoing on the gleaming ceramic floor under the morning sunlight streaming through the large windows. The teachers’ room was on the ground floor, not far from the entrance, and Kai already knew the way after two days at this school—every turn, every door, every corner he could use to avoid crowds. He opened the teachers’ room door a little too loudly—too loud, because some teachers already inside turned toward him with raised eyebrows, their expressions a mix of curiosity and disapproval.

Kai didn’t care. He didn’t have time for small talk, didn’t have time to introduce himself, didn’t have time to explain who he was and why he was here. He hurried toward his desk in the corner of the room—a small desk still empty, without decorations, without photos, without anything showing someone occupied it. The desk was like him—empty, without content, waiting to be filled with something meaningful. He took the attendance book from the drawer, then chalk from the small box on the desk, and the textbook he had prepared last night with great effort, reading every page until his eyes stung from exhaustion. He checked his bag once more—his old leather wallet with a few bills, his rusty apartment key, his old phone that could only make calls and receive texts—and made sure everything was in place.

But in his haste, he didn’t see that someone was standing behind the door. When he turned to leave, his body almost collided with a figure suddenly appearing before him—a figure with shoulder-length black hair and a smile that had become too familiar this morning.

"Careful, Mr. Kai!"

Leina’s voice came with a tone half-panic half-joking, and with quick reflexes—maybe because she was used to avoiding danger on the battlefield, or maybe because she already suspected Kai would bump into her—she stepped aside gracefully, avoiding the almost-collision by a few centimeters. Kai, in a hurry, almost lost his balance, his body swaying forward, but he managed to steady himself with his hand on the wall, his rough palm pressing against the cool painted surface.

"Sorry, Miss Leina!" Kai said quickly, without stopping, without looking back, without giving Leina a chance to respond. "I’m in a hurry! I have to get to class!"

"Don’t bump into the students, Sir!" Leina called from behind, her soft voice sounding louder than usual, half-serious half-joking, like an older sister reminding her careless younger brother.

But Kai was already out of the teachers’ room, his feet carrying him quickly along the corridor, leaving Leina who could only shake her head with a small smile, her eyes following Kai’s retreating back with an expression between amused and curious.

Kai ran along the corridor, passing several classrooms already filled with students sitting at their desks, laughter and chatter mixing like a morning symphony he had never heard before. His long legs carried him quickly up the stairs to the second floor, each step feeling light under his feet, to class IX-9 at the end of the corridor, the farthest corner, far from the crowd, far from the suspicious stares of other students. He didn’t want to be late on his second day of teaching. He didn’t want to give a bad impression to the girls in his class. He wanted them to see that he was serious, that he cared, that he wouldn’t leave them like the teachers before.

Finally, he reached the door of class IX-9. He stopped for a moment, took a deep breath to calm his racing heart, his chest rising and falling quickly. His slightly trembling hand straightened his suit—still wrinkled, but not as bad as yesterday. He pulled at his tie—still tilted to the left, but not as bad as yesterday. He checked his bag—everything was there, nothing left in the teachers’ room. Chalk in hand, book in hand, attendance in hand.

Everything is ready, Kai thought, and he felt the tension in his shoulders begin to ease. I can do this. I can be a good teacher. I won’t panic like yesterday. I won’t carry anyone to the infirmary. I’ll be a normal teacher.

He opened the classroom door slowly, and nine pairs of eyes immediately fixed on him—nine pairs of eyes with nine different expressions, nine different stories, nine different pasts. The students sat neatly at their desks, like soldiers waiting for their commander.

Aria in the front left row sat with her usual restless expression, her big eyes darting around, her fingers biting her nails anxiously—she always looked like she was waiting for a disaster to happen, like she could never truly relax. Ella in the front middle row sat with her back straight, her sharp eyes already observing Kai’s movements since the door opened, like a detective looking for clues, like she already knew Kai was hiding something. Luna in the front right row still looked at him with an unsatisfied expression, her cold eyes like ice, her pouting lips showing she hadn’t forgotten this morning’s incident, that she was still angry about what happened between Kai and Iris.

In the second row, Rin sat with her arms crossed, her chin raised high, her sharp eyes looking at Kai with a challenge she didn’t hide—as if she was waiting for Kai to make a mistake so she could laugh at him. Mira smiled widely, her eyes sparkling with never-fading enthusiasm, as if nothing could ruin her day, as if she was the sunshine in a dark room. Eve had already opened her laptop, her fingers dancing across the keyboard with amazing speed, her eyes behind round glasses focused on the screen, as if the world around her didn’t exist.

In the third row, Fay drew in her notebook with abstract scribbles only she understood, occasionally laughing softly for no clear reason, like hearing a joke others couldn’t hear. Iris smiled mysteriously, her eyes looking at Kai with a smile he couldn’t read, a smile that made Kai feel like he was being targeted, like he was the object of a game he didn’t understand. And Nora sat upright with unfading alertness, her eyes moving to watch the entire room, her arms crossed over her chest, like a guard ready to protect her friends from any threat.

Kai walked to the center of the class, stood in front of the blackboard, and placed his belongings on the teacher’s desk with movements he tried to make look calm and confident. He looked at the nine girls before him, and for a moment, he felt something warm in his chest—something like gratitude, gratitude that they were still here, that they were still willing to accept him as their teacher, that they didn’t run away after seeing his dark side yesterday.

"Uhk..." Kai coughed softly to start the conversation, making a sound loud enough to get all the students’ attention. "Good morning, everyone. Today we’re going to learn about literature."

He wrote the lesson title on the board with white chalk, his handwriting neat and firm—too firm, like a soldier’s writing used to writing mission reports, like someone who had never been taught to write beautifully. He turned to face them with a small smile he tried to maintain despite feeling stiff on his face, like the muscles in his face had never been trained to form that expression.

"Take out your literature books and open to page 32. We’re going to discuss poetry and its building elements."

Some students took out their books obediently. Aria opened hers quickly, almost tearing the pages because she was too eager, like she was afraid of missing something. Ella opened hers slowly, her eyes still looking at Kai, like she was trying to figure out what was behind Kai’s words, like she didn’t believe Kai really wanted to teach them. Luna opened hers without looking at Kai at all—maybe she was still angry from this morning, maybe she didn’t want to give Kai the satisfaction of showing she cared.

In the second row, Mira opened her book enthusiastically, her eyes sparkling with excitement, as if literature was the most interesting thing in the world. Rin opened hers lazily, her fingers tapping the desk with an impatient rhythm, like she was already bored before the lesson started. Eve opened hers without looking up from her laptop, her hands still typing something at high speed, like she could do two things at once without problem.

In the third row, Fay kept drawing, but her book was already open beside her, like she knew she had to pay attention even though she didn’t want to. Iris smiled while opening her book, her eyes looking at Kai with a smile that made Kai feel slightly uncomfortable. Nora opened hers with controlled movements, her eyes still moving to watch the entire room, like she never truly relaxed.

Kai began explaining about poetry—about rhythm flowing like a river, about rhyme repeating like a mantra, about diction chosen carefully like a sharpened sword, and about imagery built by words like a painting painted with ink. He spoke in a voice he tried not to make too flat—not like a commander giving orders on the battlefield, but like a teacher who wanted his students to understand, like someone who wanted to share something valuable. He gave examples of poems he had memorized from the book he read last night—poems about war, about loss, about hope that still burned even when everything felt dark. He didn’t realize that some of the poems he chose had themes too heavy, too close to his own experiences, too revealing of his own feelings.

He explained more deeply about figurative language and literary devices, writing terms on the board with chalk that was running out, his writing getting thinner as the chalk got shorter. He gave sentence examples to explain each term, and occasionally he asked the students if they understood. Mira nodded enthusiastically, like she was enjoying every word coming out of Kai’s mouth. Rin nodded lazily, like she just wanted this lesson to end quickly. Ella nodded politely, but her eyes were still sharp, still searching. And Luna stayed silent—but she wasn’t looking out the window, which might mean she was listening, which might mean she still cared despite being angry.

And when Kai was explaining about metaphors—about how words could have deeper meaning than they appeared, about how a word could represent feelings that couldn’t be expressed—a voice from behind suddenly broke his concentration.

"Ouch, Mr. Kai..."

The voice was soft, but clearly audible in the silent classroom. The voice was accompanied by a fake groan, too dramatic to be real pain, like someone acting on a stage. Kai stopped mid-sentence, the chalk in his hand stopped moving on the board, and he turned around quickly.

Kai’s eyes immediately fixed on Iris—the girl with wavy brown hair sitting in the third row middle, behind Mira, beside Fay and Nora. She was looking down, her body slightly bent forward, both hands clutching her stomach tightly, her fingers pressing her uniform fabric like she was holding back unbearable pain. Her face wasn’t visible because it was hidden by her hair falling forward, but Kai could see her shoulders trembling slightly—maybe from pain, or maybe from something else.

"Ouch... my stomach really hurts, Sir..."

Iris’s voice sounded more dramatic than before, and Kai felt his heart beat faster, like an alarm going off in his head. She’s sick. Iris is sick. Stomach pain. What should I do? Is this serious? Is she just pretending? But what if she’s really sick? I can’t take risks. I can’t let someone die because of my negligence.

Quickly, Kai ran toward Iris—so fast he almost dropped the chalk still in his hand, almost dropped the book in his other hand. He stopped beside Iris’s desk, bent down, and looked at the girl with concern he didn’t hide, his eyes widening with panic beginning to creep into his chest. He didn’t immediately lift her like he did with Rin yesterday—he learned from that mistake. He wanted to make sure first, wanted to ask, wanted not to make the same mistake again.

"Iris, what’s wrong?" Kai asked in a voice trying to stay calm, but still sounding panicked at the end, like he was trying to hold himself back from running to the infirmary with Iris in his arms. "Where does it hurt? What do you feel? Since when? Did you have breakfast this morning?"

From behind, Ella sighed softly, her sharp eyes already seeing what was happening. She knew—she knew Iris was pretending. She had seen this trick from Iris many times, seen Iris use fake pain to get attention, to make people around her panic, to see their reactions. But she couldn’t say anything, not in front of a still-innocent new teacher, not in front of Kai who looked so worried and sincere.

"Ouch... my stomach really hurts, Sir..." Iris groaned with an increasingly dramatic voice, her hands still clutching her stomach tightly, her fingers pressing her uniform like she was holding back something she couldn’t control. "It feels like... like something is stabbing... here..." She pointed to her lower stomach, then looked down again, her shoulders trembling harder.

Kai began to tremble. His hand holding the chalk began to shake, and he felt cold sweat starting to wet his forehead, dripping to his temples. She’s sick. Iris is sick. What should I do? Should I take her to the infirmary? But what if this is just a trick like yesterday? But what if it’s serious? I can’t take risks. I can’t let someone die because of my negligence. I’ve seen too many people die because I didn’t act quickly.

"Hang on, Iris!" Kai said in a voice starting to rise, like a commander giving orders on the battlefield. "I’ll take you to the infirmary! Don’t worry, you’ll be fine! I promise!"

Without thinking, without waiting for Iris’s answer, Kai lifted the girl in a princess carry—one arm under her back, the other under her knees, lifting her body gently but firmly. Iris’s body lifted easily, light as a feather, and Kai started running toward the door, his feet moving fast like avoiding enemy fire.

But Kai didn’t see that Iris’s face—which had been pale from "pain"—had now turned bright red. Red spreading from her cheeks to her ears, red she couldn’t hide, red making her look like a ripe tomato under the sun. Being carried like that made her feel deeply embarrassed—embarrassed because all her friends were watching, embarrassed because her new teacher was carrying her so intimately, embarrassed because she didn’t expect her plan to backfire like this, embarrassed because she couldn’t control the situation she created.

"I-I can walk by myself, Sir..." Iris whispered in a voice no longer dramatic, but barely audible in Kai’s fast footsteps. "I just—I didn’t—"

But Kai didn’t hear her—he was already out of the room, leaving eight girls looking at each other with various expressions, leaving the classroom suddenly feeling quieter than before.

Ella sighed long and shook her head slowly, her eyes looking at the closed door with an expression between annoyed and amused. "If you’re embarrassed, you shouldn’t have done it," she said softly, just loud enough for her friends around her to hear. "Now look at the consequences. Iris pretended to be sick, and now she’s being carried like a princess to the infirmary."

Mira laughed softly behind her, covering her mouth with her hand, her eyes sparkling with mischief she didn’t hide. "But it’s fun, right? Mr. Kai panicked again! I like seeing Mr. Kai panic. He’s funny!"

Rin smiled faintly, a smile showing she was enjoying this chaos, that she didn’t mind Iris getting a lesson about consequences. "At least she’s learning. Maybe next time she won’t pretend to be sick."

Luna still wore an annoyed face, but her eyes followed Kai running out with Iris in his arms, and there was something in her eyes she couldn’t hide—something like jealousy, something making her clench her fists under the desk.

Kai ran along the corridor with Iris still in his arms, his feet moving fast and steady like a soldier carrying a wounded comrade from the battlefield. He didn’t notice that Iris’s face was getting redder, that Iris was trying to say something but her voice was too soft to hear, that Iris wasn’t really sick at all—she just wanted attention, and now she was getting it in a way she didn’t want.

"Sir, I—" Iris whispered, her voice barely audible, her cheeks still red, her eyes looking down in embarrassment. "I—"

"Don’t talk, Iris!" Kai cut in with a panicked voice, his eyes still focused ahead, looking for the way to the infirmary. "Save your energy! We’re almost there! Don’t waste your strength talking!"

"But, Sir—"

"We’ll be at the infirmary soon! Reina will take care of you! She’s the best! She can save anyone! Trust me!"

Iris gave up. She closed her eyes, letting herself be carried by her strange new teacher, and hoped no one would see her in this embarrassing state. Her face was still red, and she could feel heat spreading through her whole body, from her hair to her toes. This isn’t what I planned, Iris thought. I just wanted a little attention. I just wanted him to notice me. I didn’t expect him to carry me like this. I didn’t expect him to panic like this.

Finally, Kai reached the door of the infirmary with his breath starting to run out, his chest rising and falling quickly, sweat covering his whole face. He didn’t waste time knocking—he opened the door hard, so hard it hit the wall and made a bang sound echoing through the room, making some bottles on the shelf rattle.

Inside, Reina was sitting behind the desk, reading a notebook with a serious expression, her eyes focused on pages full of handwriting. The sound of the door opening so hard made her startle—so much that she made a strange sound, like half-surprised half-annoyed, half-angry half-amused. Her book almost fell from her hands, and she looked at Kai with wide eyes.

"KAI!" Reina shouted in a voice still sounding surprised, her hand on her chest like calming her racing heart. "What is this—why do you always enter like this?! Can’t you knock first?!"

"Reina! Iris has a stomach ache!" Kai cut in with a panicked voice, his eyes wide and sweat running down his forehead, dripping to his cheeks. He was still carrying Iris, and he showed no sign of putting her down, like he was afraid if he put her down, Iris would disappear. "She said her stomach hurts! Like something is stabbing! I don’t know what to do—is this serious? Is she—"

Reina sighed long, looking at Kai with an expression between annoyed and pitying, like a mother seeing her child too innocent for this world. She stood from her chair, walked toward Kai with calm steps, and looked at Iris still being carried with a red face and closed eyes. Reina didn’t need to be the principal to know Iris wasn’t sick—she had seen many people pretend to be sick on the battlefield, seen many soldiers pretend to be injured to avoid fighting, and this was one of the clearest, least convincing examples she had ever seen.

"Put her on the bed," Reina said firmly, pointing to one of the folding beds in the corner of the room. "Gently, don’t drop her."

Quickly, Kai placed Iris on the bed very gently—so gently that Iris barely felt the impact, like he was placing the most precious fragile item. He looked at Iris worriedly, then at Reina with hope, his eyes full of questions he couldn’t voice.

"Alright," Reina said in a voice starting to calm, taking examination tools—a stethoscope and thermometer—from the desk with efficient, practiced movements. "Now, you go back to class."

"But, Reina—" Kai tried to protest, stepping forward as if wanting to approach Iris again.

"Back to class, Kai."

Kai looked at Reina with an expression showing he didn’t want to leave, that he wanted to stay here, that he wanted to make sure Iris was okay. His hand reached for Reina’s, trying to plead with his worried eyes. "But, Iris—she looks really sick—I can’t leave her—"

Reina pushed Kai’s face—too close to hers—with her hand, pushing him back gently but firmly, her warm palm touching Kai’s cheek. "She’s here with me, Kai. I can handle her. Don’t you trust me?"

Kai fell silent. His eyes looked at Reina, and for a moment, he saw the same woman he had seen on the battlefield years ago—the woman with a syringe in her hand, the woman with eyes that never showed doubt, the woman who saved his life. Reina. The woman who saved my life. The woman who stitched my wounds without anesthesia. The woman who was always there for me. If there’s one person I can trust in a situation like this, it’s Reina.

"But... I’m worried," Kai said softly, still looking at Iris lying on the bed with a red face, her eyes tightly closed like she was sleeping. "I don’t want—I don’t want to lose anyone else—"

"You don’t need to worry, Mr. Kai," Reina said, this time with a gentler tone, a voice that calmed Kai a little, the same voice she used on the battlefield to calm panicked soldiers. "I’ll take care of her. She’ll be fine. Now, go back to class and continue your lesson. After the break bell rings, come to my office. There’s something I want to talk to you about."

Kai was confused by the last instruction, but he just nodded, not daring to argue. He looked at Iris once more—the girl still lying with her eyes closed—then turned and walked out of the infirmary slowly, closing the door gently behind him.