Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

Seeing JP BSOD’ing in front of me was fucking hilarious but we heard something collapse from behind us, and it was some of the support beams inside the public market that was keeping it together. It sustained enough damage for it to collapse on its own but what we didn’t think would happen after that was a much bigger flaming blob plopping down the stairs and rolling over its minions that tried to protect itself.

But yeah, due to the damage it also sustained, it broke open and scattered like a snowball that wasn’t pressed together hard enough, and more than a dozen assorted limbs poured out in every direction.

‘Was it hanging by the roof?’

However, it didn’t take long before we spotted a few deadheads—that were inside the blob—that survived the flames and the digestive fluids as they tried to move in whichever direction they could with what was left of them.

I wasn’t sure that they’d reach far with those rotting stumps so anyone who didn’t barf at the sight pulled out their guns and put them out of their misery.

In any case, JP was still sulking as I turned back to him and I thought he was contemplating whether he was worthy of eating the sour candy I gave to him. This one blunder totally took out whatever his title gave him away but I couldn’t help but feel a little bit of sympathy because I was exactly like this—but not totally—before.

“Listen, I know what you’re fucking feeling and it fucking sucks… Trust me, I know—like, I really know… I’m the biggest perfectionist there was but I learned that even though the idea of everything being perfect was supposed to be the end-all, it could do more harm than good.”

“W-What do you mean?”

“Well, look at you.”

“What—”

“You made one mistake—”

“A HUGE mistake—”

“It still counts as one! Get it? It still counts— Nevermind, I’ll deal with that other issue later— But what I’ve learned is that I should’ve focused more on what I can still do correctly instead of what I did wrong.”

“Didn’t you just say the same thing earlier?”

“Yeah, something like that—”

“Then why—”

“Because I felt like it wasn’t getting through to you.”

“…!”

“Did that one get through?”

“…”

“It did, huh? That’s a start… Look, as much as I’d hate to admit it, we’re similar in this sense. Trust me, it took me more than words for things to get through my thick skull and it wasn’t worth it. It’s hard to listen to advice when you’re set on your own path but that’s just how it is sometimes. I’m not telling you to follow every word I say—though it’s highly recommended, but yeah, following your own path doesn’t mean that the path everyone else took was wrong and you have to be different every step of the way.”

JP started to nod a few times before he stood up in front of everyone:

“U-Umm… Excuse me, everyone… I need to say something but it’s more inclined to my—no, more inclined to the group of cadets I’m traveling with. Listen up—no, please listen to me: I fucked up and I’m sorry. That’s all,” JP mentioned before giving them a bow.

“Umm…”

“…”

“Sure…”

“Ha…”

“…”

“You’ve done nothing wrong, Baron—”

JP cut Lucas off, “Please, don’t call me that too. As of now, I’m relinquishing my title and I’m starting over. And to prove that I’m fucking serious, I’m gonna hand over the keys to the Raycolt to the person who contributed the most from our side: Megan!

Megan tilted her head sideways, “Me? Are you sure?”

“You were the first one to jump and everyone followed after you. You didn’t kill as much of the dead compared to the other two who jumped down but you followed orders to the dot and—”

James #1 protested, “W-W-Wait, she wasn’t even ordered to jump down!”

James #2 followed, “Yeah! We were!”

Megan rolled her eyes, “And you two were staring at each other people thought you were gonna fucking kiss!”

The two exclaimed at the same time, “We weren’t—”

Seb cut in after shaking his head, “Just let Megan have it. I didn’t think we’d go about the ownership of the Raycolt this way but it’s fun. I like it.”

Ruben followed, “Who’s the Baron now, though?”

Almost everyone from their group answered, “No one!”

JP nodded, “Yeah, we have to figure out a new way to—”

Quinn chuckled/scoffed from the side and said mockingly, “Aww~ You guys are so cute, adorable~ Can we fucking move on now because it’s already noon and there’s huge fucking fire right behind us AND WHY THE FUCK ARE WE HAVING A HEART TO HEART IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS FUCKING SHIT HOLE?! CAN’T WE FIND A QUIET AND COOL PLACE TO TAKE A BREAK?!”

“…”

“…”

“N-Noted…”

I chuckled as I ordered everyone to get ready to move out, “Two minutes tops, alright? We still have plenty of time before sundown but we should be on the move five minutes ago.”

In any case, it was a little heartwarming to see them like that but in all accounts, Quinn was right. Not only did we have to change locations for what she mentioned earlier, but we also caused quite a commotion and as much as our armed convoy was a deterrent to hostile groups, there were some suicidal dumbasses or desperate people out there that we should be wary of.

We could probably take care of them but it would be better if there was no fight at all.

Taking care of the dead was one thing but raiders or something similar was a whole different story.

On that note, Jesus and his crew led the way as everyone else followed but I soon discovered that the roads they were using weren’t as straightforward as I thought.

If anyone used the same path as us, we’d receive multiple complaints or accusations that we were lost because it’d be way easier to follow a GPS instead of what Jesus and his crew were doing.

But yeah, it sounds funny but we literally let Jesus take the wheel because he knew more about the roads compared to ours, and he’d give me commentary for each detour or abrupt turn he’d use. It was the weirdest tour I’ve been on but it was the smoothest ride we’ve been on, relatively speaking.

–

*bzzt*

[Sorry, my children… Heh… We could’ve saved 30 minutes if we used that road but lemme tell ya, crazies over there and they’d literally drop boulders on your cars just to get your attention. Been there once and never again. D’you know how rare paint is these days?! They’re lucky we’re trying to pull a steampunk/ragged/Mad Max motif or we’d have smoked their asses!]

*bzzt*

–

*bzzt*

[Right! Tell them about the bar, dude! Tell them about the bar! The titty bar!]

*bzzt*

–

*bzzt*

[Yeah~! The bar! I remember! That was insane! It’s on a different route, unfortunately, but that’s the only place I’d return to if I could! Best service hands down! Got a lapdance, a blowjob, a titjob, a rimjob, and all kinds of jobs plus anal for the low, low price of a six-pack! It’s kinda weird that the one who sucked me took off her dentures first but it was amazing—]

*bzzt*

–

*bzzt*

[BLECH!]

*bzzt*

–

*bzzt*

[EWWW~!!!]

*bzzt*

–

*bzzt*

[JESUS, WHAT THE FUCK?!]

*bzzt*

–

*bzzt*

[HEY! HEY! DON’T KNOCK IT TILL YOU TRY IT! NOT ONLY THAT MY PUBES ARE SAFE BECAUSE THEY DON’T GET PULLED OUT BY THEIR TEETH, BUT I’D RATHER HAVE NO TEETH THAN TEETH WITH BRACES BECAUSE I DAMN NEAR LOST MY DICK WHEN I WAS BLOWN BY HER DAUGHTER! NOT AGAIN! NOPE!]

*bzzt*

–

*bzzt*

[WHAT?!]

*bzzt*

–

*bzzt*

[That place is insane! C-Can we d-drop by—]

*bzzt*

–

*bzzt*

[NOOOOOOOOOO! HAVE SOME SELF-RESPECT!]

*bzzt*

–

𝗈𝗏𝐥xt.𝓬𝞸𝕞

*bzzt*

[Well, fuck you kids! I share some intimate shit and you do this to me! I didn’t even tell you about this place where they have bound zombies you could stick your dick in— I never did it, before you sick fucks asked, but that place is fuckin’ wild~]

*bzzt*

–

*bzzt*

“And~ All of that’s gonna be burned inside my head. Thanks, Jesus…”

*bzzt*

–

*bzzt*

[Anytime! I got more, if you want—]

*bzzt*

–

*bzzt*

“Uh-huh! Better space them out, you know…”

*bzzt*

–

*bzzt*

[Right, right— Oh! Here we are! Just to our left, it’s a pretty safe space but we’d need to leave a few people guarding our cars. We have 30 minutes or so…]

*bzzt*

–

*bzzt*

“What is this place?”

*bzzt*

–

*bzzt*

[Well, used to be a cockpit arena but they ran out of cocks so they’re making people fight each other. Kinda like Mr. Cuervo’s pad but a little less regulated. Don’t worry, I know all of them.]

*bzzt*

–

With that said, Jesus took us to a place that looked like a budget version of the Roman Colosseum, and the whole place didn’t even have a fence and there were several groups of people parked in clusters all around it.

Some of them were doing drugs, having sex, keeping watch, or just patiently waiting for a deadhead to stumble upon them so they could blow its brains out while jealously hearing the cheers from the inside.

We definitely garnered a lot of attention when we rolled up but a good majority of the people outside were ecstatic to discover Jesus was leading our armed convoy. Out of all the places we could take a short break, I didn’t even think this place was the “Cool and Quiet” Quinn mentioned, and she definitely wasn’t pleased when I glanced at her in the rear-view mirror.

‘What is Jesus up to?’