Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

Chapter 913 Back On The Road III – Weapons Of Mass Destruction

On any other day, I would’ve been totally against torching an area that could possibly contain loot or any other essential items, but we were on a schedule and the return for investing a few hours to sift through their bodies and gunk wasn’t worth it.

This would sound completely contradictory to my hoarding mentality but everything a public market could possibly have, we already have—or have the means to make whatever they were ourselves.

But yeah, we have one major problem because Brix the fucking dumbass was so excited to commit a felony, we were still several feet away from where Kaley and Jose nuked that bloater or whatever it was, AND the same dumbass dropped everything in his person to carry as much gasoline as possible.

The motherfucker didn’t even have a screwdriver to defend himself and he was now stuck behind me like he was a fucking trailer where I needed to change up my movement pattern so he’d fucking survive.

“B-Bro! Did you hear me?!! Do you have a fucking match?!”

“I heard you just fine! Can you stop getting in the way first?! I appreciate the initiative but you’re like the human embodiment of a premature ejaculation! Can’t you come a little later?! We’re still busy here!”

“That’s oddly specific, don’t ya think? So about that light—”

“DUCK DOWN!” 𝗈𝗏𝐥xt.𝓬𝞸𝕞

“WOAH! WOAH! WATCH THE MOHAWK! WATCH THE FUCKING MOHAWK!”

“DOES YOUR BRAIN STOP FUNCTIONING WHEN YOU’RE OUT OF YOUR VEHICLE?!”

“Ah— I kinda do, yeah… Not gonna lie— Woah! That’s a big one— Jesus fucking Christ, your girl can fucking shoot! Don’t you shit yourself when those bullets fly past your head?! Jeez—”

“HAVEN’T YOU FOUND THE TIME TO RUN BACK, YET?!”

“HUH?! I STILL NEED TO BRING THESE OVER THERE, RIGHT?!”

“YOU FUCKING— EVER HEARD OF THROWING?!”

“W-What if I miss?”

It took everything, I mean EVERYTHING for me to reply to that, “YOU KNOW THAT FIRE SPREADS, RIGHT?!”

“Ah— Oh. OHHH! THAT’S WHY YOUR GROUP WAS LOOKING AT ME WEIRD! Sorry man, I saw you hackin’ and slashin’ I got too excited and jumped down—”

“JUST FUCKING THROW THEM OVERHEAD!”

“R-RIGHT! RIGHT! FIRE IN THE HOLE! HAH! I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY THAT— GCK!”

“YOU FUCKIN’ DUMBASS!”

To my surprise, Tatiana had already made her way over to us and she pulled Brix from behind right before she slapped his face with the handle of a worn-out machete. And from the way his face lit up, the machete seemed to belong to him and it was thrown over by the guys on the other side of the wall—then delivered by Tatiana—for him to somehow take down a few bodies for the fuck up he just committed.

“Now we’re fuckin’ talkin’!”

Before I told him what to do, the guy just straight-up hacked an unsuspecting biter’s head off. But since his machete needed a whetstone or a complete replacement, he swung down thrice on its neck and then wound for a bigger swing before he managed to succeed.

However, he knew full well that his machete’s underperforming—but there was an inkling he just wanted to copy me for some reason—so he resorted to aiming at the spot just above their ears before pulling out and moving onto another victim.

Sometimes, all a dull blade needed was a lot more force or just to be used as a blunt weapon, because metal was still metal and with enough weight and momentum, it could still crack open a skull to do enough damage.

In any case, we heard another deep growl from inside the public market so Kaley and Jose took it upon themselves to light up the unknown by shooting the jerry cans Brix threw overhead a few moments ago.

All it needed was a small spark and it only took a few seconds before the fire caught onto the flammable materials that most of the stalls in the public market were made of.

But on another related note, fire needed a bit of time to do enough damage to kill a walker or render it immobile compared to bullets, so imagine everyone’s faces when another batch of sprinters—which were now burning—came from the public market like a fucked up entrance of a football team where’d they run through a fire instead of their team banner.

At this point, it seemed like our arsonist route came back to bite us in the ass, and I didn’t even have to yell at Brix to turn tail and run.

However, everyone else who jumped down still had their sidearms plus everyone else from above who had access to their primary weapons—including Kaley and Jose, of course—so our attempt to save a lot of time cost us using more fuel and more bullets than necessary because going toe to toe with a flaming group of sprinters would make us sustain only burns if we were extremely lucky.

But yeah, on a darker note, it’d save everyone else a bit of time if somehow someone got bitten because the one that took them out took the time to burn themselves right after.

In any case, I was more frightened at the fact that the cadets who just got their brand-new firearms pretty recently were shooting above my head because the only person I’d allow to do that was Kaley—probably even Jared or Lawrence but they weren’t here.

This would sound a bit contradictory and a little controversial but between two random people that I’d have to trust my life to, I’d choose the one with the worn-out gun instead of the sparkly one with the mall ninja vibe.

Kaley wasn’t using a worn-out rifle by any means but she definitely had worn out several barrels, firing pins, and many other internal parts of her rifles so I trust her with my life.

Those fucking kids? No offense but I’d rather see them use those rifles as clubs than to shoot over my head or god forbid, a few centimeters away from me.

But after clearing the surprise flamin’ hot runners and then some, the rest of the dregs became a breeze despite that warm feeling on our skin due to the fire we just made. That blaze wouldn’t die anytime soon but I took one last look at the corpses on our feet before I wiped my blade and climbed over the wall to the other side.

And to be perfectly honest, it was actually harder to pull Quinn up than talking to Brix or clearing that horde, but my work on my poker face saved me because I would’ve received a beating if Quinn saw my lifting face when I was pulling her up.

‘Do I have to be fucking her to lift her without issue??? This is madness…’

In any case, after a skirmish such as this, I made it a point to pick up all our spent casings, reload everyone’s mags, wipe down our equipment, check ourselves for scratches and whatnot for everyone’s safety, etc.

Thankfully no one was hurt and was now enjoying a celebratory chocolate bar or shot of strong alcohol, but the one deep in the dumps was JP.

It was because after the dust had settled, he began to contact his father to give a proper report, and to my surprise, an actual apology and accountability for his actions, taking most, if not, all of the blame for the mess his men made that we had to clean up ourselves. And after that, he looked to be so fucking distraught because he had been at it since day one so if his men would lie about this shit, what else did they lie to him about?

He could probably check the ones pretty close by but what about the people he sent on expeditions far out? How many of them were doing their jobs properly or slacking off and just taking the rewards while laughing at his back?

Even in the old world, that shit was literally disobeying a direct order and grounds for punishment or severe disciplinary action but now, all he could do was send a report because he was ordered to come with me for an apprenticeship of sorts.

He did look like he wanted to drive back to straighten things out but just the general vibe around him right now also told me he lost a bit of that air of authority and pride around him.

That could be a good thing or a bad thing depending on the context or situation but as I said earlier, currently, that was not his job though this discovery could be a can of worms on the General’s plate.

I nudged him with my elbow, “Do you at least know the people you sent here?”

He sighed deeply, “I need to check my logbook back home because I rotate them once in a while to avoid shit like this but when did they start colluding to get free shit?”

“I’d hate to ask this but how many times did you order your people over to this place?”

“I… I’m not exactly sure but it’s plenty of times because the zeds don’t just stay in one place so there are plenty of times where I’d have to send a bunch of people to places such as this to clear them out and report back. It’s just that… It’s just that—”

“They just closed it off with those corpses and called it a day…”

“Exactly.”

“What did your father say though?”

“He— He sounded disappointed at first but he kinda calmed down when I told him you guys took care of it. He started praising me, basically giving me all the glory for what you guys did, but I cut him off and told him I just reloaded mags and shot fifteen of them, and then he became quiet… But yeah, he said he’d look into the matter because I gave him copies of my reports and I hate to say this but I’m relieved we aren’t there because if The General gets quiet like that, he’s fucking pissed. Everyone will take the fucking blame if no one would step for it…”

“I see…” then I pulled out two candy bars from my pockets, “Alright, want some Kit Kats or a Klondike?”

“The fuck—”

“I recommend the Kit Kats but both have already melted but it’s either this or you wallow in your self-pity a bit more. Again, I’d choose the former from the choices but you do you. A stain in your record is a stain on your record, you either let that get to you or get more stars so that they can’t say shit when it’s all over, and this time, I’d choose the latter option.”

“…”

“JP?”

“…”

“Fuck it, Jameson Prometheus—”

“I get it, I get it! Don’t you have any Warheads?!”

“Oh! The candy or—”

“OF COURSE, THE CANDY!”

“Ah, I could’ve shown you my weapons of mass destruction—”

“YOU HAVE A FUCKING NUKE—”

“OF COURSE, NOT! I WANTED TO BUT I CAN’T BUY IT IN A DICK’S SPORTING GOODS, CAN I?! YOU DON’T HAVE TO SHOVE IT IN MY FACE, YOU KNOW?! I’m already on several watch lists for googling that…”

“…” JP could only blankly stare at me as he was so fucking bewildered from that exchange.

Then I went back like it was nothing, “Oh! We have Yakees! Milder than Warheads and it kinda dyes your tongue in different colors and you can also—wait, no… you can’t swallow the gum after… I’m pretty sure.”

This time, it seemed like something fizzled inside his head because one of his eyes started twitching for no reason.