Chapter 298: Memories Of Her

Kaden’s POV

​I stepped backward, but my legs suddenly became weak. Before I could stop myself, I fell to my knees.

​Kane and Logan both rushed toward me. "Kaden!"

​"Stay back!" I roared, throwing a hand out to stop them. "Don’t you fucking touch me!"

​They stopped immediately. Tears filled my eyes and fell down my face, burning hot against my cold skin. I pressed both hands over my face, my chest shaking as I struggled to breathe through the pain tearing through me. My child. Ruby was carrying my baby. Rebecca was carrying my child, and everyone in this fucking room had known except me.

​My wolf howled inside me, filled with pain and a wild, protective need to get to her. All those times I had felt that strange pull toward her stomach suddenly made sense. All those times my wolf had reacted whenever I touched her belly. All those times I had wanted so badly to protect a child I believed belonged to my brother. It was mine. My wolf had known the truth all along, even when my mind couldn’t understand what he was trying to tell me.

​The dream I had carried for years—the dream of becoming a father—had been right in front of me the whole time. I remembered telling Ruby that if Kane didn’t want the baby, I would be there. I had fucking offered to raise my own child without even knowing it was mine. I had worried about whether she was eating enough, whether she was safe, whether the baby was safe, and I hadn’t understood why it mattered to me so much.

​A broken laugh escaped my throat before another tear rolled down my cheek. My child was growing inside the woman I loved.

​I slowly lifted my head, my eyes locking onto Kane and Logan. Anger burned through the pain so quickly that my wolf growled inside me again. "You two..."

​I stopped myself.

​There were a thousand things I wanted to say. I wanted to ask how the fuck they could keep this from me. I wanted to know how Logan could stand beside me every day and lie to my face. I wanted to know how my own twin brother could let me believe he had gotten the woman I loved pregnant. I wanted to hit them. I wanted to throw them both out of my territory and never look at either of them again.

​But I held back the rest of my words because I knew that if I started talking now, I might destroy them before I ever got the truth back.

​I wiped the tears from my face with the back of my hand and turned toward the witch. "Start the ritual," I ordered, my voice rough. "Do it now."

​The witch nodded. "Please, take a seat on the couch, Alpha King."

​I pushed myself up from the floor on weak legs and walked over to the couch, sitting down heavily. I leaned my head back against the cushion for a moment and stared at the ceiling, trying to prepare myself for what I was about to do.

​Fear returned immediately.

​I wanted my memories back. No, I needed them back. But now that the moment had come, I couldn’t stop thinking about everything Logan had just told me. I had hurt Rebecca. I had humiliated her, imprisoned her, put that fucking choker around her neck, and treated her like a criminal for something she hadn’t done. What if remembering everything made it even worse? What if the things they had told me were nothing compared to what I had actually done?

​For one brief second, I wanted to tell the witch to stop.

​Then I thought about Rebecca somewhere in Africa, carrying my child and running from me because of a past I couldn’t even remember.

​No.

​I needed to know.

​The witch reached into the black pouch and pulled out a dark crystal gem. My eyes immediately went to it.

​Was Rebecca really inside that thing? Not her, but every memory I had of her? Every conversation, every touch, every fight, every moment I had forgotten?

​"You must accept every memory willingly," the witch warned. "Your mind cannot fight the magic. Once the link is made, you will lose consciousness. When you wake up, everything should return to normal. You will get all your memories back. It will be as though you fell asleep and woke from a long dream."

​"All of them?" I asked.

​"All of them."

​My stomach tightened.

​I looked over at Kane, Logan, and the witch, my eyes narrowing into a deadly stare. "I find it hard to believe a single word coming out of your mouths right now. But so help me Goddess, if any of you do anything stupid while I’m unconscious, I will kill you all."

​"We just want to fix this, Kaden," Kane said quietly.

​I stared at my brother for several seconds. I didn’t know what I felt toward him anymore. Anger. Betrayal. Maybe even hatred in that moment. But underneath all of it was the knowledge that Kane was my twin, and according to everything they had told me, he had believed he was saving my life when he agreed to take Rebecca from my memories.

​Whether I could forgive him for that was something I would decide later.

​I closed my eyes, forcing my body to relax and my mind to open.

​"I’m ready."

​The room grew quiet. I heard the soft rustle of the witch’s clothes as she stepped closer, followed by a low chant filling the study. I couldn’t understand the words. A strange warmth settled over my forehead when she placed her fingers against my skin, and within seconds, the warmth became heavier. The magic sank deeper into my head, pressing against something that seemed to be buried far inside me.

​My wolf stirred.

​Then he suddenly became excited.

​Rebecca.

​My heart jumped.

​It was the first time he had reacted to that name like he truly knew it.

​You remember her?

​He didn’t answer with words, but I felt him pushing toward whatever magic was entering my mind. There was no resistance from him this time. No growling. No fighting.

​He wanted those memories back just as desperately as I did.

​My breathing slowly became heavier before it began to calm. Darkness crept into the edges of my mind, pulling me under. The witch’s voice grew farther away, and soon I couldn’t feel the couch beneath me anymore.

​Then everything vanished.

​When my eyes snapped open again, the world came rushing back in a bright, painful flash.

​I was lying on the couch, breathing heavily. Kane, Logan, and the witch were standing several feet away, staring at me with a mixture of fear and uncertainty.

​For a few seconds, I simply stared back at them.

​Then it hit me.

​It was all back.

​Every missing piece of my life flooded back at once, and suddenly, Ruby and Rebecca were no longer two different women in my mind. There was only Rebecca. The same woman. The woman I had known long before I fell in love with her all over again without realizing it.

​I remembered the Mating Festival. Then I remembered Helen.

​My breath caught painfully as the false memory of childbirth shattered completely. Helen hadn’t died giving birth. I remembered the library. I remembered finding her lying on the cold floor in a pool of blood. I remembered Rebecca there. The shock. The accusations. The rage that had consumed me before I even gave her a chance to explain.

​I remembered the crowd screaming for Rebecca’s death. I remembered her on the ground while stones struck her body, blood covering her skin as she tried to protect herself. I remembered standing there with so much hatred inside me. I remembered her broken, desperate voice begging me to take her as my breeder because becoming my breeder was the only choice she had left if she wanted to stay alive.

​Then came everything I wished I could forget again.

​I remembered the terrible night I took her virginity, cold and cruel, treating her like a criminal instead of a woman who was terrified and completely at my mercy. I remembered the emotional and physical torment I put her through afterward. Every cruel word. Every punishment. The choker around her neck. The hatred in my voice whenever she tried to tell me she was innocent. I remembered seeing tears in her eyes and refusing to care because I had convinced myself that she deserved whatever pain I gave her.

​My stomach turned violently.

​How the fuck had I been that man?

​The memories didn’t stop.

​I remembered the morning in the woods when we were attacked. I remembered seeing the gun in her hand. I remembered the moment I realized what she intended to do with it, how my entire world seemed to stop when she tried to take her own life right in front of me. I remembered the terror that had ripped through me because, somewhere along the way, the woman I was supposed to hate had become someone I couldn’t bear to lose.

​Then I remembered the slow change in my heart. I remembered watching her when she wasn’t looking, wanting to be close to her while still fighting myself every step of the way. I remembered realizing that my hatred had disappeared. I remembered realizing that I was falling for her.

​And then came the truth.

​Rebecca was innocent.

​She had never murdered Helen.

​The memory nearly broke me all over again.

​I remembered the relief I had felt when I learned the truth, followed immediately by guilt so heavy I could barely stand it. She had begged me again and again to believe her, and I hadn’t. I had punished an innocent woman because of my grief and rage.

​But the worst part was what I did afterward.

​I remembered not telling her.

​I remembered standing there knowing she was innocent and still keeping the truth from her because I was terrified that the second Rebecca learned she was free, she would leave me. By then, I had fallen so deeply for her that the thought of waking up and finding her gone terrified me more than anything else.

​So I made a decision. I remembered telling myself I had only a few more weeks. I would tell her everything on her birthday. I would confess the truth in front of the Council. I would apologize for every fucking thing I had done to her. I would remove every chain between us, and then I would ask her to stay.

​Not as my breeder.

​Not as my prisoner.

​Not because I commanded her to.

​I wanted Rebecca to choose me.

​But I never got the chance.

​Kane’s pack was attacked. Rebecca was taken.

​And I remembered what happened to me afterward.

​The panic. The rage. The unbearable pain in my chest. I remembered searching for her until I could barely think. I remembered attacking anyone who tried to stop me. I remembered Logan. The guards. The seers. I remembered my wolf tearing at my mind, demanding that I find her. I remembered being forced into unconsciousness because I had become a danger to everyone around me.

​Then there was nothing.

​That was where my memories had ended.

​That was where they had taken her away from me.

​I sat completely still on the couch as tears gathered in my eyes again. I remembered it all now. Every touch, every argument, every tear, every mistake, every moment I had hated her, every moment I had protected her, and every moment that hatred slowly turned into something I hadn’t been brave enough to admit until it was almost too late.

​And then my memories of her as Ruby crashed into all of it.

​Fuck.

​I finally understood every look she had given me.

​She had come back into my life carrying all of those memories while I had looked at her like a stranger. She had stood in front of the man who had broken her and watched him fall in love with her again.

​Logan took a careful step forward. "Kaden...?"

​I lifted my head.

​The moment I looked at him, I remembered everything he had done too. Everything Kane had done. The ritual. The lies. Ruby. The fake kidnapping. The video. Every fucking thing.

​There was too much inside me.

​Too much anger. Too much guilt. Too much pain.

​I couldn’t deal with them right now. If either Kane or Logan tried to explain themselves, I didn’t know what I would do.

​"Everyone out."

​Logan stopped. "Kaden, maybe you shouldn’t be alone right now."

​My eyes moved slowly to his.

​"Out."

​"Kaden," Kane began.

​"Get the fuck out of my study."

​The room went silent.

​For several seconds, nobody moved. Then the witch lowered her head and quietly headed for the door. Logan followed after a moment, although he kept looking back at me as if he was afraid of leaving me alone. Kane remained where he was a little longer.

​I stared at him.

​"Not now, Kane."

​Something in my voice must have finally convinced him. His shoulders dropped, and he nodded before turning away.

​The door closed behind them, leaving me alone in the study.

​"Rebecca..." My voice broke.

​I closed my eyes.

​"How can I face you?" I whispered, lowering my head as another tear rolled down my cheek. For a moment, I remained there, staring at the floor while the guilt ate at me. But hiding here wouldn’t change anything. I had to face her. No matter how much she hated me, no matter what she said when she saw me, no matter whether she ever forgave me, I needed to see her.

​That was when something suddenly crossed my mind. Kane and Logan had helped her escape. They had arranged everything and lied to me while I searched for her. If anyone knew where Rebecca was now, it was them.

​I immediately stood and walked toward the door, pulling it open to find Kane and Logan still standing in the hallway. They hadn’t left. They were waiting there, probably wondering what the hell I was going to do next. The moment Kane turned toward me, I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him closer.

​"Where is Rebecca?" I demanded, staring straight into his eyes. "You helped her escape. You know where she is, so don’t fucking lie to me again. Where is she?"

​Kane stared at me for a few seconds before slowly placing his hand over mine. He didn’t try to push me away.

​"She’s in the Stone Pack."