Becoming a Monster

Chapter 520: Chapter 519: You Must Live On

Varkesh knelt there, making no attempt to move.

His expression had gone completely still, locked in place as despair, helplessness, and denial settled into his features.

The denial stood out the most. It showed more clearly than anything else.

Life didn’t feel real anymore. Even when Ethaniel had been turned into a monster right in front of him, it hadn’t felt like this. That moment had been shocking, but this, this felt wrong in a way he couldn’t accept.

For someone like Gwen, someone who had always placed others before herself, to be turned into a monster was a fate so twisted that his mind refused to process it.

His eyes remained fixed on her, searching for anything that would prove he was mistaken.

Anything.

A movement, a reaction. Something that showed the monster looking at him wasn’t her at all. That the Gwen he loved deep down had still yet to come out.

Yet the way she looked at him hadn’t changed at all.

In fact, her gaze was filled with worry. She flinched, hesitant to go near him, but then she turned around. Behind her, the entrance remained open, and for a moment, nothing else moved.

Then another presence stepped forward.

Noah emerged without urgency, his expression unchanged as his gaze passed over the scene in front of him. He looked towards Gwen, noticing she was hesitating to speak.

He followed her shifting gaze before settling on Varkesh.

There was a flicker of surprise in his eyes. He didn’t care for the state the tigerkin was in, but he was confused about how it happened.

He then looked towards Kratos. The loyal monster didn’t react in any way to show that he had done anything he shouldn’t have done.

Noah didn’t press it. If Kratos was the one who did it, then that was the tiger’s misfortune for not behaving.

However, the tiger couldn’t remain in that state. Even if Varkesh were still an A-Rank Adventurer, he wouldn’t be able to make it out of the forest if his injuries weren’t healed.

Therefore, his attention returned to Gwen.

"You’re hesitating," he said. His tone wasn’t accusatory, but it wasn’t dismissive either.

Gwen’s shoulders tensed at his words. She didn’t look at him immediately. Her gaze shifted away instead, deliberately avoiding Varkesh’s eyes, because she knew that if she looked at him, she wouldn’t be able to hide anything.

She wasn’t sure what Noah was getting at. Was he implying that she shouldn’t have any more of her moral attachments now that she’s a monster? Was he testing her?

For a brief moment, a thought surfaced that she couldn’t ignore. If Noah realized that she still held onto attachments like this, then there was no reason for him to keep Varkesh alive. There was no value in allowing something that could interfere with what she was about to become.

The thought made her hesitate even more.

But that hesitance and her internal conflict caught the attention of someone else who was carefully watching.

Pandora’s presence brushed against her through the connection they now shared. The dryad didn’t interfere, didn’t guide her, and didn’t try to influence her decision. She was simply there, observing, curious about what Gwen was feeling.

That alone was enough for Gwen to understand that there was no hiding it. Even if she tried, Pandora would see through it, and if it came to light later, it would only make things worse.

So she had no choice but to be honest.

"I..." Her voice faltered before she could finish. The thought that her next words could be the reason Varkesh lost his life made it difficult to continue.

She swallowed, steadying herself as she forced the rest out.

"He’s hurt... I at least want to help one last time... before I never see him again..."

—

Meanwhile, Varkesh’s spiraling thoughts finally settled on a single point.

Noah.

The moment his eyes landed on him, something in his body reacted on its own. It felt as if his mind had been overtaken, drowned beneath a surge of hatred, resentment, and bitterness that he could barely contain.

Noah had taken everything from him.

What made it worse was that he hadn’t done it without first giving him hope. He had agreed to bring him here. He had allowed him to believe the two of them would be given a choice, that one of them could sacrifice themselves so the other could live and walk away from this place with nothing more than a bitter memory.

Varkesh had already made his decision back then.

He had been ready to give up his life. He had been ready to kneel, to serve, to do whatever was necessary if it meant Gwen could leave this place alive.

He thought of her dream.

A world where monsters and the other races could coexist without fear.

A world where no one would’ve to be cast aside for what they were. And a world where nature would venture into a new era.

And now that had been taken from her.

The thought alone made his chest tighten as the anger surged again.

And to make matters worse, Noah had brought him here to watch it happen. To stand there and witness yet another one of his comrades be turned into a monster.

It nearly broke him.

If his body hadn’t already been damaged, he would have moved without thinking. Even if he died the moment he reached him, at least it would have meant something. At least it would have shown Gwen that he hadn’t just stood there and accepted it.

But he couldn’t move.

The deed was already done. Now that he was forced to accept that the monster was Gwen, he had to also accept the significance of her becoming a monster.

She made the choice for him.

If he lashed out and got himself killed in the process, then wouldn’t her sacrifice for him be for nothing?

—

Noah didn’t react to any of it. Whether he sensed it or not, he gave no sign.

His attention remained on Gwen for a moment longer before he finally spoke.

"Go ahead. And tell him to leave before I change my mind."

The words were simple, but they were enough.

Gwen didn’t hesitate this time. She moved toward Varkesh, her steps careful, as if she were afraid that being too eager would make Noah change his mind.

At the same time, Ailetta came from inside their home and walked over to Noah, her gaze lingering briefly on Gwen before settling on him.

"You’re fine with that?" she asked. "Her staying the same."

Noah didn’t answer immediately. His eyes remained on Gwen as she approached Varkesh, watching the way she moved, remembering all the emotions in her gaze alone.

Then, briefly, his gaze shifted.

He looked toward Varkesh.

For just a moment, he acknowledged the hatred that had been directed at him.

Then he looked away.

"Not really..." he said, his tone not betraying anything. Everything about him was calm. "I think it’s better that she retains who she was."

Ailetta remained silent, waiting for him to continue.

"It’ll make it easier for her to grow stronger once she accepts her fate," he added. "Otherwise, she would be no different from a blank slate."

His gaze flickered back to Gwen.

"And that wouldn’t help Pandora grow either."

—

"...Gw-Gwen... I-I..." Varkesh stumbled over his words as Gwen stood over him. The way her eyes wavered filled him with guilt before he could even form a proper sentence.

"Varkesh, listen to me." His eyes locked onto hers immediately.

He became lost in them.

Even now, even after everything that had changed, they were still the same. Still just as beautiful as before.

Gwen knelt in front of him, and as she did, her hair began to move.

What had once resembled strands now revealed its true nature.

Vines.

They stretched outward, curling around Varkesh’s body with a gentleness that didn’t match their appearance, finding every place where he had been injured.

The moment they made contact, a faint glow emerged.

Violet and emerald light pulsed through them, soft but steady, spreading from where they touched him.

At the same time, Gwen’s hand rose, resting against his face. Her fingers brushed along the swollen area where Kratos had struck him, and the same light gathered there.

The pain began to fade almost instantly. It didn’t disappear all at once. Instead, it eased in a way that made him aware of just how much it had been weighing him down before.

The warmth spread through his body, sinking deeper with every passing second, until the tension he had been holding onto began to slip away.

His eyes closed before he realized it.

This... This felt different.

Gwen had healed him before, but it had never felt like this.

There was something deeper behind it now, something that went beyond simply mending wounds. It was as if his spirit was being healed.

For a brief moment, he forgot everything else.

Then it stopped.

The warmth receded, the glow fading as the vines slowly withdrew, returning to her as her hair settled back into place as if nothing had happened.

Varkesh’s eyes opened again. Gwen was still there, still looking at him.

"You have to forget me..." she said softly.

Her hand lingered against his face for a moment longer before it slowly pulled away.

"You’ll only suffer if you don’t."

Her eyes wavered with uncertainty, yet her smile was warmer than the healing he had just experienced.

"I’ll be okay."