Because I Cannot Hurt You

All these seven years, they had a safe distance between them. Not too far and not too close. But the intimacy last night breached that sense of distance and she had no idea how and why? Xinyi didn't know how to face him.

They awkwardly sat at the table while staying silent but someone else was excited. Siying's eyes sparkled. 

Mama and Dada are here!

He curiously observed them. According to their plan and what Leina said, after spending some alone time together, they were supposed to be happy. He expectantly stared at them.

Now Mama and Dada will not fight and leave me right!

But as he observed them more and more, he found it increasingly strange that instead of being happy and smiling, they seemed nervous, even distant. They weren't looking at each other. They weren't talking to each other.

Siying pursed his lips.

Why aren't they lovey-dovey like Uncle Liang and Aunt Ah Cy? I will have to check!

He tugged Xinyi. She smiled. "Yes, dear?"

"Mama! Dada has a sauce bottle on his side! Please give me no?"

"O-Oh...yes…"

Zhiyuan froze. He quickly took the bottle and handed it to her. "Ah yes. Take it…."

Their fingers brushed against each other, making them startled. Xinyi quickly averted her gaze while Zhiyuan looked away too. "Here."

Siying was heavily dissatisfied.

Mama and Dada are acting different! Why are they not lovey-dovey? I will have to talk to Leina again!

But unfortunately for him, Siying wasn't allowed to go to kindergarten today.

Xinyi said, "Of course not dear. You have just recovered and come from the hospital yesterday. The doctor has said that you need to take complete rest for today. So no school."

Siying's small brows strained in despair. "But I want to meet Leina! She will be at school!"

If I don't talk to Leina, how will I know what to do?

"You can meet her tomorrow. It's just one day, Siying," she gently smiled and patted his head.

"No! I want to go to school!"

"Siying," Zhiyuan sternly said, "We are only doing this for your good health. Don't be stubborn."

Han Huizhong wasn't so gentle. "If something happens to you in school and you faint again, then we are not gonna come and help you. You will be all alone. If you still wanna go, be my guest."

Zhiyuan's mouth twitched.

Poor Siying got afraid of his threat and pursed his lips in disappointment as his shoulders slumped.

As always, Xinyi didn't like his method. She could only sigh.

Zhiyuan cleared his throat. "I am leaving."

And he quickly left. 

---

Han Corps.

Zhiyuan threw away his bag on the couch and collapsed on his seat. He tiredly pressed the space between his brows and shut his eyes.

Damn it. Damn it. Damn it! Everything is my fault! I made everything awkward. Ahhhhh what should I do now?

Even thinking of the time at the breakfast table made him embarrassed.

For God's sake, I couldn't even handle a sauce bottle properly! 

Xinyi's reaction was so painfully obvious. She was clearly ignoring him and even panicking to be near him anywhere.

Ever since the cruise trip ended, he didn't know why but he was steadily growing conscious of Xinyi; whether it was about her beautiful eyelashes that would tremble slightly when she looked at him, or the urge to know about the guy who she liked in college.

But he didn't expect he would go as far as trying to kiss her.

Of course, he was going to kiss her. If Han Huizhong hadn't come barging in, he would have…

He couldn't run away from his actions and neither did he want to.

"What must be Xinyi thinking of me? I-I... what should I do to mend things back? Should I say sorry?"

He widened his eyes and smacked himself for thinking of that.

"No, no, no! Sorry doesn't seem right! I will make things even worse!"

The assistant knocked on the door. "Sir."

"Come in…"

His assistant stepped inside and was taken aback to see his Boss clutching his head with his hands and looking awfully distressed.

"Sir, are you alright? Are you feeling sick?"

"No, it's nothing…What do you need?"

"Sir, there is a meeting with Mu Constructions associates about the hotel development."

Ah…

It had completely slipped out of his mind. 

"Ah yes. I will be there in five minutes."

He nodded and left.

Zhiyuan sighed. For now, he decided to focus on work. He took out his bag and searched for the file on the project. He blinked his eyes.

"Where is it?" He murmured.

He searched the whole bag in and out, but the file was missing. Zhiyuan tried to think back and realized that he forgot the file at home.

Zhiyuan was about to dial Xinyi's number, but he stiffened as soon as he remembered last night and then this morning.

Sh-should I ask the butler to check? Wait, it will be too weird. She is at home, yet if I ask the butler to check, that will look... strange.

He called his assistant. "Postpone the meeting by twenty minutes. I forgot the file. Apologize from my side."

"Yes, sir."

Zhiyuan nervously paced around his desk. If the file had not been important to the meeting, he would have gone without it. Unfortunately, it was crucial.

He let out a deep breath. 

I got no choice.

He dialed her number and heard her phone ring. But even after the fourth and fifth ring, Xinyi didn't pick up.

She is definitely avoiding me! Ahhh I messed it up! She will never talk to me again! Wait, is she not picking up because she is getting ready to leave the house!?

All sorts of confusing and negative thoughts emerged in his heart.

"Hello, Zhiyuan…"

Suddenly, he heard her soft voice from the other end. The phone almost fell off his hand. His eyes widened and he checked his phone.

S-so she picked it up. I jumped to conclusions…Idiot!

"*Ahem* Hi Xinyi…" 

"Hi…"

"Hi Hi…" He nodded.

Silence.

The only conversation until now was Hi and Hello. Then he heard Siying's voice calling out to her. "Mama! Let me talk to Leina no? Give me your phone please…"

"Ah, Zhiyuan please wait a moment…"

He heard Xinyi talking to Siying. "Siying, Leina would be at the kindergarten now. You cannot talk to her."

"Mama…" he whined, "I have a super important thing to discuss!" 

Xinyi somehow managed to convince him to wait until the evening and got back on the phone. "Ah sorry for that Zhiyuan."

"No problem. If Siying is being stubborn, then tell me. I will talk to him."

"No, no...it's fine now…"

"I see…"

Silence again.

Zhiyuan's mind was jumbled up in a mess. "How is everything at home?"

"G-good! Very good!" Xinyi quickly responded as she couldn't bear the silence either.

"That's good! Did you have your lunch?"

She coughed. "We just had breakfast. So there is still time for it.. "

Zhiyuan shut his eyes, feeling idiotic. He smacked his fist on his forehead.

What a stupid question! 

He nervously laughed. "R-right. Haha...I forgot…Well I just meant don't forget to eat."

"O-of course…"

"T-That's it then. I will hang up. I have a meeting."

"En."

He quickly ended the call and let out a deep breath. He felt as if he was holding it for all this time.

He grimaced. This is the first time I panicked talking to Xinyi like that. I completely turned blank!

The assistant called him. "Sir, do you have the file?"

!!!

Zhiyuan's mouth formed an 'O' in shock.

I forgot to tell the main point! What is wrong with me!?

"Not yet. It will be here soon."

Zhiyuan bit his lip and dialed her number again.

Xinyi coughed as she picked up. "You c-called for something?"

Zhiyuan awkwardly laughed. "Actually, I forgot one important file at home. It's related to the Mu Constructions meeting today. *Cough* Can you check i-if you can see it anywhere?"

"Sure."

Two minutes later, she said, "I found it."

"Oh...as expected. Um, that…actually…" He felt at a loss of words.

Xinyi fiddled with her fingers. "Do you want me to bring you the file?"

---

Han Corps.

Xinyi stepped out of the car as she headed towards the Han Corps. She felt goosebumps as she clutched the file in her hands. Her heart raced at the thought of facing him. In front of the CEO's office, she almost lost her courage and wanted to run back home. 

She bit her lower lip and steeled herself.

*Knock knock*

Zhiyuan anxiously jumped up in his seat. "C-come in."

As she stepped inside, she accidentally looked at him. They froze as their gazes met. Her heart thumped loudly.

I was only supposed to hand him the file and leave. Why did I look at him?

Zhiyuan got up, his hands nervously fidgeting and his mind thinking hard. "You are here..."

"E-en…"

Silence. They were too caught up in the awkwardness and panic.

Now what to say next!