Because I Cannot Hurt You

Zizi rubbed her head where Yunru had just smacked her. "Why did you hit me?"

"What else should I do when you are getting the whole thing wrong? Don't say that you forced me. You never did. It might have looked that way to you, but it's not to me. If I have to describe the situation between us, then I will say that you saved me."

Zizi teared up. "Don't lie, Yunru."

Yunru narrowed his eyes. "I am not lying. I don't have any reason to. You know me. I am not the kind of person to say something just to keep your heart. It's the truth if it's the truth. If you hadn't confessed that day, then maybe I still would have been sitting on the beach here, crying and drinking over my misery. You pulled me away from the darkness before I could even step into it. Yes, there was a part in you that wanted me. But there was also a part in you that didn't want to see me heartbroken. Your confession was a way to save me so that I don't think about Shuang more than wanting to claim me for yourself. Isn't that so?"

Zizi glared at him and gritted her teeth. "Stop sugarcoating things. You were troubled because of my confession and because I was chasing you. I bet you wished that I should just stop bothering you!"

Yunru pinched her cheek hard. "When did Princess become dumb?"

"Y-you…Are you denying that you were never troubled because of me?" She sniffled.

"Initially, I was, but it wasn't because you were a bother. Your confession was shocking to me because I really had no idea that you had feelings for me. We fought like cats and dogs, so your confession took me aback. I was troubled that I would hurt you if I couldn't return your feelings. I would feel sad to see you sad because I know how it felt in an unrequited love. I was worried about you. But as we started spending more time together, I realized that I liked being with you. You never forced me. I willingly stayed by your side. I wouldn't have if I had felt that I was forced."

Zizi pointed her trembling finger at him, but she couldn't say anything.

Yunru smiled. "Our situation was way different, Princess. And I know that if I had really protested against this, then you would have let me go. I just know. That's why you are not like Han Zongying at all. Stop thinking that. Just because you are tied to her by blood doesn't make you the same as her. And just because Aunt Liqin isn't your biological mother doesn't mean that she loves you any less than she loves brother-in-law."

Zizi clasped her hands doubtfully.

"She has been crying since morning because you left. Uncle Tian said to wait a while for you to return but even so, he was anxiously pacing in the whole living room to see if you would come back the next minute. He was frantically searching for you. They are your parents, Princess, who were worried about you every single moment. They are your parents, who didn't think twice before declaring that you were their daughter. They had problems as husband and wife, yes. But as parents, they loved you wholeheartedly."

The waves gently washed over her feet. The breeze fluttered her hair back as she cried.

"Blood doesn't define anything. Relationships are created from the heart. Do you think brother-in-law will treat you differently than before now? No. You will always be his little sister. You will always be Uncle Tian and Aunt Liqin's daughter. Will you start hating them because they are not your biological parents? Will their love for you lose all its meaning now because you are not blood-related?"

"...No," Zizi softly said.

Yunru patted her head. "En. Look at Xiaosi. Lei Shu and Lei Shing love him so much despite them having different fathers. They are crying for him even though they met just months back. It all comes down to what your heart wants. The past has been ugly. But Han Zongying doesn't define how Han Zizi is."

"R-really?"

"Yes. You can think about Uncle An. He has been a victim, and he suffered the most because of Han Zongying. Even so, he would have taken your responsibility had he known about your existence. He would have loved you just like he loves Caihong and Shuang. You don't have to think about a woman, who until the very end, was only selfish. She ended her life without thinking about her daughter even once. How will she live without a mother? She didn't think about that. She left a tragedy behind her, yet when she realized her mistakes, she ran away instead of taking responsibility. You don't have to accept a parent like that."

Zizi's eyes stung, and she felt something dissipating. It was as if she was floating in the air, light and unburdened. 

She lowered her head. "...I do-don't know what to do now. Un-uncle An...He is my father, but I don't know what I should…Caihong and Shuang are really my sisters now."

Yunru cupped her face and made her face him. "I am sure even Uncle An doesn't know what to do. He would want to talk to you, but he doesn't know how to approach you. He just realized he has a third daughter. It's difficult for him too. As for Caihong and Shuang, they won't treat you any different. You, sis, them and Ah Cy were a sister gang anyway," he chuckled. Caihong will surely cry and hug you and Shuang might just shrug and say, 'Hey, we sister team will beat the hell out of our opponents.'"

"Opponents?"

"In her game. She plays all night. You know it."

Her mouth twitched.

"Caihong has suffered a lot with her. Now, it's your turn to get dark circles," he laughed.

Zizi glared at him and hit him.. But for the first time since last night, her lips had lifted into a smile.