Because I Cannot Hurt You

It was in the afternoon that the Lei family finally took the courage to meet Xiaosi. After how Lei Biya was the source of his life and death situation, they felt they had no face left to see him anymore.

Lei Shu covered her mouth, seeing Xiaosi in tubes and bandages. It was completely silent. Tears fell from her eyes. Lei Shing and Lei Deming quietly stood behind her.

"Bro…"

She wished Xiaosi would look at her and smile like always. But today, he stayed silent. 

Lei Deming softly walked up to him and stood beside his bed. His severe condition made his eyes ache, and he felt the corner of his eyes wet. His hand trembled as he wanted to pat his head, but he refrained.

"I am sorry," he whispered.

He had nothing to say anymore.

"I am sorry that you have to suffer this. I... always treated you as a part of my family since we met and grew closer. Sometimes I used to feel that I had another son," a painful chuckle escaped his lips, "I never thought it would be true. I...s-should have been your father. But now that I know, I feel as if...I have lost all the right," he tiredly said.

He slightly trembled. "You don't have to forgive Biya. She will suffer her punishment."

Lei Deming almost stumbled, but his son caught him. "Dad…"

It was painful to see his wife in jail and to live a life without her now was excruciating.

But he steeled himself for Xiaosi's sake, who had always been selfless. Xiaosi had suffered the most. He was extremely furious at Lei Biya for going this far. But he had loved her too for more than two decades now. It wasn't going to fade away so easily either.

Lei Shu wiped her slightly red eyes and carefully held his hand. "Bro, you have to wake up soon, okay? You cannot sleep for long. Sister-in-law is crying for you. My cute niece is waiting for you. Shing and I also want you to find good partners for us!"

Shing nodded hard. "I want a wife like my sister-in-law. It's your job to find one for me. I am pathetic in finding girls. You saw, right? The one I dated turned out to be a white lotus. So now, it's up to you to settle our marriages. So you cannot make us wait for long!" He didn't want to cry, but in the end, he joined his father and sister.

They hoped that Xiaosi would laugh, but it never happened. He stayed still on the bed.

As the Lei family stayed inside for some time, Jack Si watched them through the window.

There was nothing in his face. His bluish-grey orbs were expressionless.

"Stare at Xiaosi all you want, but stop blaming yourself for his condition," he heard a voice from behind.

Jack Si turned and saw Shuang standing in front of him with her arms folded as she squinted her gaze at him.

"What do you mean?"

She shook her head. "Good try fooling me, but it's not gonna work."

Shuang grabbed his hand and started to pull him away. 

"Where are you taking me?"

"Away from his ward. Don't stand there like a ghost. If Xiaosi wakes up and sees you like that, he will feel that you are about to curse him."

His mouth twitched.

Shuang took him outside. In a small adjacent garden, they sat on a bench. Then she stared at him. Jack Si coughed under her sharp scrutiny.

"What are you thinking, Jack?"

"Nothing-"

"Yeah, you can move forward from there and tell the truth."

He was quiet. He lowered his head and clasped his hands together. A sad and wry smile was on his lips. "I am not a capable doctor."

Shuang blinked her eyes.

"I promised Xiaosi and sister-in-law that I will save him. There is nothing to worry about when I am here. They depended on me. But what happened in the end? I couldn't save him at all…"

He had turned his face away, but Shuang still saw a tear drop slide past his cheek.

"Xiaosi is in a coma now. I absolutely have no clue when he will wake up. I cannot do anything to treat him at this point. I felt I could trust my skills, but I was wrong. I... couldn't protect my friend at all," his voice was slightly hoarse.

Jack Si heard nothing. Then the world in front of him suddenly flipped sideways, and he felt his head rest on a warm lap.

He rapidly blinked his eyes. He looked up at Shuang, who seemed really angry at him. He knew how dangerous Shuang could be when her fuse would short-circuit.

"Do you want me to beat you up like I did to that bitch?"

"No," his answer was immediate.

"Wise choice," Shuang nodded in appreciation. "So listen up."

Jack Si didn't move an inch.

"So, you are a doctor. That's a splendid and noble profession. Certainly nobler than me."

His brow twitched.

"You know, doctors are so cool. Sometimes, I feel as if they are magicians. They wave their wands and whoosh! I don't feel pain anymore. They give me some magical pills, and I feel all nice again. They take me to some chamber, cast their spells on me, and I wake up. Cool, right?"

He said nothing.

"Customers also get really happy. If they are in pain, they can buy a ticket for a magic show anytime and cure themselves."

Customers…

Jack Si was impressed by her analogy with magicians.

"The problem arises when the customers or the magicians themselves start to misinterpret that they have become God."

He stiffened.

"The customers take for granted that the magician can do anything. The magician starts to feel the burden that he should know all kinds of tricks to make the show successful. They feel that someone's life or death is really in the magician's hands. But it's not. It never was. They fail to understand that there is one high entity in this world, commonly known as God."

She looked at him.

"He blessed some people in this world to become awesome magicians and have cool magical skills that they can show to the customers on His behalf. I stress the phrase "on His behalf." It simply means the magicians don't become God version 2..0, and as such, they can never surpass the entity who bestowed the magical skills to them. So what do you learn from the long-ass story I just told?"