Because I Cannot Hurt You

Xia Liqin hugged her father-in-law as she cried. "I am really angry now, okay Dad? If you say one more time about death and all, then I will leave this place! Even if you die, I won't attend your funeral!"

The cold and powerful Han Huizhong, who was unbeatable and undefeatable, always now cried like a baby for the first time. His daughter's betrayal had left him empty. Everything had turned upside down. Everything was dark in front of him.

He really, really wished to die. He felt meaningless. What was he supposed to do now?

He had mourned and cried for his daughter. But what did she leave him with? 

He asked as he gasped, "Tell me, Liqin. Where...did I go wrong? Am I really such a terrible person for my daughter to turn out like this?"

Xia Liqin bit her lip. She stared outside the window in a daze.

She softened her voice as she spoke, "You know Dad...You have always been so strong. So tough. Nobody dared to fight against you. Nobody could even raise his head in front of you. You fought like a warrior in the business world. You struck your enemies and stood on top of them. You were very... very strong and merciless. You got whatever you wanted. You could never bear that you didn't get something if you wish to have it. But family is different from business."

Han Huizhong stiffened.

"Love is different from business. They are fragile. You cannot control your family members the way you control business because we aren't your rivals. We aren't your enemies you need to be so tough on. Love? Love isn't something that you can force to submit to you because love isn't your enemy either. I am not saying you should always be soft-hearted. Being tough is necessary in the family too at times. But there should be a balance. You expected your children to never cry."

She faintly smiled. "But you should have taught them that it was okay to shed tears. It was okay to fall weak because this is life. It doesn't always go the way we want. Look at me. Did I ever want to be…" her eyes stung, "s-separated from Tian?"

Silence.

"But we had to because the situation called for it. We had no choice. Our divorce had killed me the day I signed those papers…" her shoulders quivered, "And I let him go. There was no point in forcing him to stay by side if he wasn't happy with me. I would have just worsened everything. And that's another thing Zongying should have learned. To let things go if they are meant to be.

I told you, right? Life doesn't go the way we want. Not always. Power or money is useless. You cannot control somebody's heart with it. You cannot always get what you want. And you cannot keep crossing your limits to have it at any cost. Imagine. If the whole world does that, then what would it become? If Zhiyuan had revolted to marry Caihong at any cost, even if it hurt Xinyi, then it would have been such an ugly sight."

Han Huizhong thought about the past. It was true that Zhiyuan had made mistakes that night. But it would have been even worse if he had become like Zongying.

"It was difficult, but in the end, he let go. Sometimes, you have to. With a heavy heart, you have to part with people or things that cannot become yours. You need to learn to move on. It's tough. But it's inevitable. Dad...love is not a business deal you can have at your mercy. Somehow, Zongying learned that in his house through you. Even if it's love, if she wants it, she will have it. But it doesn't work like that. Not with feelings…"

There was silence for a long time.

"My wife…" his voice was hoarse, "used to say similar things...she used to scold me for being so strict."

Xiz Liqin said nothing.

"She used to say to keep my toughness till the office only. But I always shrugged her off. I... never valued her words. And now, I feel so foolish…If she had been here today, then…" tears fell from his cheeks, "this family would have been so different. So happy... Instead of her, I should have left this world. She would have managed everything just fine…"

Xia Liqin flared. "You are again talking about death! Enough, Dad. Now stop thinking about anything. Take your medicine and go to sleep!"

She put the pills in his mouth and made him drink water. She leaned him back on the bed and pulled the blanket. "Now sleep."

"Zi-Zizi…"

"Yunru is there with her. You needn't worry about her."

He said nothing.

He wryly smiled. "I wonder what good actions I did that I always got such good daughter-in-laws. Whether it be you or Xinyi or my to-be grandson-in-law, Yunru…"

Xia Liqin smiled.

She quietly left his room and let out a deep sigh.

"Dad won't really d-do something funny, right?" She wondered if he would really take an overdose and kill himself in guilt.

"Maybe I should really stay in his room for the night…" she mumbled to herself.

"He won't kill himself."

She slightly jolted in surprise and looked back to see it was Han Tian who had said it.

She stiffened.

"He might think like that, but he wouldn't really do it," he said.

Xia Liqin said nothing. She simply gave a slight nod. There was silence.

Han Tian had head lowered as he stood in front of her. He had heard everything.

'Did I ever want to be separated from Tian?'

Neither did he.

But in a way, his love for her was like how Han Zongying loved An Guoting. He couldn't bear to see her thinking about another man.

And the more Xia Liqin stood up for her friend's defense, the more he felt suffocating.. The more she cried for him, the more he felt that he hadn't any place left in her life.