Because I Cannot Hurt You

And so she did. Zizi cried for a long time in Yunru's arms. But she really didn't say anything. She didn't even know where to start. The tragedy had rained down upon her like a storm. There was no shelter. No matter where she went, she could only get soaking wet, chilled in the rain that reached her heart. 

She cried until she felt dead tired. Until there were no more tears left. Her eyelids felt heavy and as if she wanted to escape this sorrow, she finally fell asleep.

"Princess?"

He bent and saw her breathing evenly with her eyes shut.

Yunru let out a soft sigh. He slowly helped her back to bed and pulled the blanket over her. There were faint circles under her eyes. She looked really haggard at the moment.

Yunru wondered if he should leave. But then he thought against it. It was better to stay beside her. He smiled and leaned back on the bed. His fingers gently patted her forehead.

Time slowly ticked by. Then his phone buzzed with a call. It was from Soo Enlai.

Yunru hesitated. Zizi had held on to his hand as she slept. He cut the call and dropped him a message instead.

'Princess is asleep. I am staying with her. Can't talk.'

He got a reply after a few seconds.

'How is she?'

Yunru could imagine his father's worried expression. He might be pacing back and forth anxiously in the room.

'Not okay. She cried a lot.'

'I feel horrible. Why does my daughter-in-law have to go through all this? She must be so devastated. Why is everything so complicated?'

Yunru smiled in pain. He saw him typing some more. He seemed to take a long time. Yunru waited.

'Yunru. I was thinking if Zizi could live in our house for a few days.'

He slightly widened his eyes in surprise. Soo Enlai continued typing.

'I don't think living in the Han villa will be suitable for her. At least for now. She needs a change of pace. She needs time to think things through. I think she will be more comfortable here…'

Yunru smiled and typed. 

'Just admit that you want to live with her.'

There was a long pause.

'Idiot son! Is this how I raised you?'

'Don't be angry just because I caught you. You just wanted a chance, and now you got it.'

'I disown you right now!'

Yunru held his laughter. He imagined Soo Enlai's red, flushed face in anger and furiously typing.

'Keep your investigative skills till your cases only! No need to expose your father! I don't know where I went wrong in raising you!'

Yunru rolled his eyes. That was his favorite sentence.

'Look at Xinyi. She is so filial, and she never insults me! You are twins. Why can you not be like her!?'

Yunru shook his head.

'Apologies, father.'

'Hmph!'

'By the way, you don't really mind us staying together? You know...a man and a woman before marriage under one roof.'

'I can just kick you out.'

His mouth twitched.

He saw him typing again.

'My daughter-in-law needs all the support. Especially yours.'

He smiled.

'And if that support can give me a grandchild soon, then why not?'

Yunru was about to choke, but he stopped himself in time. He didn't want to disturb Zizi.

'Dad…'

'I am just joking. But jokes aside, I think it's a good idea.'

Yunru nodded to himself.

'I think so too. I will talk to Zizi and brother-in-law about this.'

'Great!'

Then he immediately went offline. Yunru dryly stared at the grey symbol.

You…

Dad must already be hopping towards sis's room to clean and organize it for Princess to live. So energetic…

Yunru looked back at Zizi and smiled. He whispered. "I guess you will like the small surprise, right?"

---

Han Huizhong lay on the bed, his gaze blankly staring at the ceiling. He felt some movement beside him, but he didn't respond.

"It's time for your medicine, Dad," Xia Liqin quietly said.

No answer.

She brought the medicine till his mouth, but he didn't move. 

"Dad."

Han Huizhong slowly turned to face her. He was expressionless, but she still saw the shattering pain in his eyes.

"...I have been a terrible father, Liqin."

She trembled.

"Zongying…" he chuckled sadly, "she was like me until the very end. Selfish and arrogant."

"Dad don't…"

"Let me talk, Liqin. I have failed miserably in my life. I couldn't raise my children well. That's why everybody has suffered…You, Guoting, Xinyi...I ruined everything by my own hands…"

Xia Liqin quickly said with tears in her eyes. "Please don't say that, Dad."

"What else should I say…?" He tiredly leaned back. "Zongying has utterly disappointed me. She could go this far for him...And I never realized her insanity. But I don't have any right to be disappointed in her because I have been the worst father. I... don't know what to do now, Liqin."

He didn't bother to wipe the tears that were rolling down his cheeks.

"I have made many grave mistakes. I…" he trembled, "You know. I think I should also die like Zongying-"

"Dad!" Xia Liqin exclaimed. "Don't be foolish! I don't know any Han Huizhong who would kill himself!"

"I... don't feel as if I have any choice left," he laughed as his wet eyes shone, "I have been an utter failure. My whole life….was meaningless. I don't know how I should face my wife? She must be so disappointed in me haha...I destroyed my family. I couldn't be a good father. I failed my children, and I brought upon this tragedy…What will I do at this point if I am alive?" He was blank. "Nothing can be repaired any longer. There is nothing I can fix anymore."

Xia Liqin cried as she hugged him. "Stop saying such foolish things! Didn't you say that you will see your great-granddaughter? There is a long time before you kick the bucket! Stop saying such inauspicious things!"